


After The Fall

by hello_berkeley



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Healing, Angelic Grace, Angels are Dicks, Canon-Typical Violence, Chuck Shurley is God, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Drinking, Drug Abuse, Eventual Sex, F/M, Fallen Angels, Fluff, Guardian Angels, Heaven, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Jealous Castiel, Metatron (Supernatural) Being an Asshole, Non-Graphic Smut, Original Character(s), Road Trips, Romance, Tags Are Hard, Temporarily Human Castiel, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-13 12:35:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 165,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14112474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hello_berkeley/pseuds/hello_berkeley
Summary: The angels have fallen, Amriel along with them. How is the angel of May supposed to adapt to life on Earth after spending an eternity in Heaven? She struggles to get the hang of her new surroundings and follows a path that ultimately leads her to what she's needed to find all along; solace in another fallen angel.





	1. Arrival

For the first month she was on Earth, she had been running. Running from her family, who wanted her to help seek revenge for what had been done to them, and running from her pain. Amriel was exhausted, hungry, and in desperate need to find somewhere safe. After she and every other angel fell from Heaven, thanks to Metatron, Amriel had taken the vessel of a 24-year-old art student that was going through an existential crisis and searching for a higher power. The girl was pretty; Amriel had realized this during her first few days on Earth. Men gawked at her fair skin, blonde hair, and big, gray eyes and they did anything she asked, whether it was buy her a meal or just give her money outright. Her vessel was small and petite, which was easy for Amriel to maintain and stay out of trouble. She had taken a vessel twice before and had no issues, but this time around Amriel found that she was weakened by her descent from Heaven. She needed to eat and sleep on a regular basis in order to keep her vessel functioning normally.

After taking a vessel, Amriel wandered, figuring out the many limitations that a human body had and becoming accustomed to being confined in such a small space constantly. She remembered the screams of her siblings as they all fell from Heaven, watching as they hurtled towards Earth at a speed that tore some to shreds. She could only imagine what some had suffered once they landed- if they had landed at all. She had been injured- her wings were damaged and so was her grace, but she was healing slowly just by being in the vessel she had found shortly after hitting the ground, so Amriel was doing her best to keep the girl's body safe while she was kept in a dream within her own mind.

The fallen angel had been sleeping alleys, women's shelters, and abandoned homes if she could, but nothing felt safe enough so she never stayed for long. She had gone from New York to Pennsylvania, where she stayed for a few days before making her way into Ohio and then Illinois. Whatever money Amriel could get her hands on went to the purchase of food and oxycodone, which she had first tried at a homeless shelter she had been residing in. Since she landed on Earth, she had started experiencing human emotions and the drugs helped her shut them out. After feeling the hopelessness and sorrow of being locked out of her home paired with the confinement of her vessel, Amriel wanted to do whatever she could to never feel that way. She had fled from the previous town she had been in because she couldn't pay the man that had been providing her pills. The man had brandished a knife and tried to scare her into finding some other type of payment, but Amriel used her own angelic blade to frighten him and she took all of the pills he had in his possession. Since they had met at his apartment, he was well stocked and she pilfered all of his drugs, which ended up being in the hundreds of pills.

After leaving his home she immediately headed for the nearest bus station. Amriel had made her way onto the first bus she saw, blending in with the crowd of people as they filed on, since she didn't have a ticket. Once she was tucked away in a seat at the back, the blonde swallowed about a dozen pills before dozing off for the duration of the ride. As an angel, it took a larger quantity for her to feel their effects, but it was worth it for her to not feel the anguish of being cut off from Heaven. She dozed in and out of consciousness, memories of her first encounter with fellow angels not long after they all fell filling her mind.

* * *

_She had just left her vessel's apartment, a backpack full of things that she would need to survive- money, food, and a few pairs of clothes. These were all things Amriel discovered to be main necessities as she dug through her vessel's thoughts and memories, and once she had what she needed, the angel left the small apartment and wandered out into the busy streets of New York City._

_Amriel walked around what she recognized as Central Park, taking in the sights and sounds of people walking dogs, jogging, and talking to one another on benches. She was so enthralled by everything that was going on- the smell of the grass, the rustle of leaves as the wind blew. The angel was looking around in awe when she saw the familiar glow of a grace, and as she grew closer and closer, she noticed that there was more than one. She found four of her siblings, all shouting at each other and arguing about what they should do._

_"I have heard that others are joining Bartholomew. He will show us the way!" Hamael spoke, glaring at Daniel and Urim as he stood beside Sybil. His vessel was that of an older man, with graying hair and and a pair of black framed glasses sitting on the bridge of his straight nose. Sybil was a petite brunette that was pulled up into a tight bun, with piercing eyes and a scowl on her face. They all wore suits, and Amriel felt out of place standing so close to them all as they bickered._

_"Bartholomew knows nothing," Daniel told them, shaking his head and frowning. "He wants us to live among the_ humans _until we can organize ourselves. We need to find someone who will reopen Heaven. We need someone who will do whatever it takes to make sure we can return to the home we were taken from. Metatron and Castiel need to be punished for what they did."_

_Urim saw Amriel out of the corner of his eye and called her name, stopping her from leaving the grassy area they had been arguing in. The blonde froze, wanting to say something but unsure of what. Although they were her family, Amriel didn't know these angels very well. If they meant to cause her harm, she didn't think she could take on all four of them at once._

_"Amriel, it's good to see you have found a vessel," Daniel greeted her with a nod. His vessel was a man in his mid-thirties, with thinning, brown hair and dark eyes, wearing a bright green tie. "We're about to leave to find others that wish to unlock the gates of Heaven. You should join us."_

_"Don't listen to him, sister. Come with us and join Bartholomew." Sybil implored the girl, who was now starting to regret approaching them to begin with._

_"I- I do not want to fight anymore," she told them all, watching them gape at her for not wanting to seek out revenge. She had fought in the civil war between Raphael and Castiel, and she knew what it was like to kill fellow angels. Amriel never wanted to do that again unless it was her only option._

_"You're making a grave mistake, Amriel. If you aren't with us, then you're with that_ _ **traitor**_ _, Castiel," Urim hissed, drawing his blade. As soon as the blade caught the sunlight and flashed, Hamael and Sybil drew their blades as well and were advancing on the opposing two angels, completely forgetting about the blonde. She saw this as her chance to get away, so Amriel backed away slowly before turning and sprinting through the park to get as far away from them as possible. Their graces faded away as she continued to run, and once she felt like they weren't coming after her, Amriel slowed down her pace and realized_ _she_ _was alone again._

* * *

Amriel woke up hours later once the bus had stopped, and she briefly wondered where she was. When she quietly left the bus with her backpack in tow, Amriel immediately tried to figure out what town she was in. The sign at the station read  _Rexford, Idaho_  and she sighed in relief. She was nearly five states away now and she felt much safer than she had before. Of course, she had her blade with her, but so did her siblings. Amriel was not a soldier- her duties in Heaven were to watch over the humans that were born during the month of May. Thankfully she hadn't run into any of them since her run in with those four after taking her vessel- she didn't want to kill anyone, but she knew how to fight well enough to defend herself and she would if she had to. _  
_

The angel sat on a bench at the bus station and looked inside of her backpack, inspecting her provisions. She did get hungry and thirsty, but not as often as humans did from what she had observed. In her backpack she had an unopened water bottle and a few bags of chips, nothing substantial. She had a few dollars, ten at most. Amriel was still figuring out how currency worked now, but she knew that it wouldn't get her much. She would need sustenance soon, so Amriel began to walk towards town, where she knew she could find food and some sort of shelter. In other towns, she had frequented things called food banks and women's shelters, where she had been given food and a place to sleep. Amriel had come up with a story about being abandoned by her family as her reason for being homeless, and she was given the basic things she needed to survive at the places where she sought out help.

While she knew that humans did something called "hitch hiking", where people sought out car rides from strangers, Amriel was weary of participating in this custom. She didn't know where her siblings were or if they had access to automobiles, so she decided to stay safe and use public transportation and bus lines. So she walked for what felt like miles until she ended up at what she recognized was a type of Main Street, typical of the small towns she traveled to, where she saw the familiar sign of a Gas-N-Sip on the corner of an intersection. She had seen these stores before and knew that this place was filled with food and drinks, and Amriel had both purchased and taken goods from stores in several other towns.

Amriel walked into the store, ignoring the gust of autumn wind that followed her and keeping her eyes in front of her, making her way through the aisles and towards the pre-packaged sandwiches. Her vessel seemed to enjoy ham and cheese, so she looked for those first. The angel briefly considered purchasing the items, but she only had so much money and she didn't know if she would come by any more in the near future. She glanced around to see if anyone was watching before shoving a few sandwiches into her backpack, along with anything else she could get her hands on. Amriel knew that if she was caught and apprehended that she would be punished- stealing was a crime both in Heaven and on Earth, but she was usually able to either sneak out unnoticed, use her vessel's attractive appearance to distract the cashier, or brandish her blade to escape.

Zipping up her backpack as quietly as she could, she continued to look around the store as if she couldn't find what she wanted, and then she made her way toward the doors. She was almost to the exit and she felt her vessel's heart beating rapidly in her chest, something she recognized as adrenaline and she was busy thinking about the strange sensation when someone called to her from behind the counter she had been desperately trying to get past without being noticed.

"Excuse me, but I believe it is customary to pay for items at a store instead of taking them," a deep voice stopped Amriel dead in her tracks. That voice was so familiar- and when she turned to face the person that had caught her, her eyes widened and she tensed up when she realized just who that voice belonged to.

"Castiel?"


	2. Help

Amriel approached the counter that separated her from the former Seraph, taking is attire. He was wearing a button-up shirt and jeans, with a blue vest that brandished a name tag that read  _Steve_. Amriel thought that he was already dead- hunted down by angels like Sybil or Urim as retribution for his part in the fall.

She could see that he was barely glowing; the remnants of his grace still giving him a slight aura that was different than most humans. She squinted, hoping to see more of it, but the faint light was all that was left. He had once been the most powerful being in the universe, and here he stood, staring at her just as she watched him, and his gaze lasted a few seconds before he knew exactly who she was.

"Amriel, what are you doing in this town?" he replied quietly, even though they were the only two in the store.

"I didn't want to side with Bartholomew's followers or Urim and Daniel, so I became a target, and I ran. I've been going from town to town, never staying anywhere for too long. I didn't know you were here and don't want to hurt you, I promise."

She had fought for Castiel's army when he was leading a war against Raphael. Amriel had believed that free will was something angels deserved after their eons of blindly following orders with no reasoning or explanations behind them, and she fought for their freedom fervently, though she wasn't sure if she even made a difference.

"How much money do you have?" he asked, fully aware of how worn she looked. Amriel was wearing a pair of jeans that were a little too loose, a dark green coat with a fur-lined hood, and a t-shirt that had four men with similar haircuts on it and the words  _The Beatles_  underneath them.

Castiel stared at her, taking in her long, light blonde hair and watching her pink lips move but he didn't hear her response. Her vessel was beautiful- just as her true form had been in Heaven. He remembered her clearly, and at that moment he wished he could see her as the celestial being she really was.

"Castiel?" she asked, drawing him out of his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" His mouth was suddenly dry and the collar of his shirt felt like it was too tight. He wondered when it had gotten so hot in the store… he would have to check the thermostat when he got the chance.

"I  _said_ ," her tone changed, signifying her annoyance. "I have ten dollars. But I do not believe it to be very much."

He shook his head, telling her that it wasn't. Castiel wanted to help her any way he could, but he was sleeping in the back room of the gas station, so he couldn't offer her a place to stay. Suddenly he was hit with the realization that she wasn't here to attack him, like Hael had when he came across her after they first fell.

"Wait, why aren't you angry with me? It was my grace that completed the spell that locked everybody out of Heaven…" He was confused to say the very least- Amriel should be trying to kill him, not staring at him with a look he couldn't decipher.

"Castiel," she said, surging forward and taking his hand, squeezing it tightly and trying to ignore the warmth that ran through her vessel. "I fought for your cause in the civil war. Why would I want to harm you here? I know that things were not right in Heaven, and I believe you participated in Metatron's deceitful plans unknowingly, and it could have been any of us. He chose you because of how much you care for us all."

Amriel glanced at the magazines lining the rack beside the counter and realized that Castiel resembled the men on the covers. He was incredibly handsome by human standards; tan, with dark hair that was a little messy and stubble along his strong jaw. Castiel had been a beautiful angel, and as his bright blue eyes seared into hers and she found herself forgetting what she was going to say to him.

"I suppose I could give you the money that I have. I am sorry if it isn't enough," she said, her free fingers fumbling in her pocket as she tried to find the green bill that was wadded up in there.

Castiel shook his head as he released her hand and she felt the loss of warmth he provided.

"I will not take your money, Amriel. In fact, if you'll allow it, I would like to help you."

The fallen angel was stunned. Here stood Castiel, who had gone from the most powerful being in the universe, aside from God himself, to a human in a matter of months, offering to help her like it was nothing while he was most likely struggling as well. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was serious about this, and she found herself nodding.

"That would be wonderful, Castiel… However, I have no idea how I will be able to repay you," she frowned, knowing that she had nothing to offer him in return.

"Repaying me is unnecessary," he said, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. "I will talk to the manager of this store and ask if she'll hire you. We can work together, keep each other safe. But you must find your own refuge outside of here."

Amriel nodded in understanding. Perhaps she would see if she could find a shelter, and if that didn't work out she would sleep in the safest place she could find.

"Why does your placard say Steve?" she asked curiously, pointing to his vest. "Are you embarrassed of your given name? I do not understand- out of all of Heaven and creation, God gifted such a beautiful name to you."

"I am not embarrassed, Amriel," he answered with a gentle tone, knowing that she didn't quite understand. "It is a way to hide myself from angels that might be hunting me. We should probably come up with a name for you to go by as well."

"My vessel's name was Amy. I suppose that could work?" Amriel suggested, and Castiel nodded, saying that it could also be a nickname for her. When she asked what a nickname was, Castiel smiled at her.

"It is a shortened version of your name, or something that people call you aside from your name- a moniker, if you will. Sam and Dean Winchester call me Cas… You can as well, if you'd like." He saw her eyes light up at the offer, and she nodded quickly.

"Cas… I like that. Not as much as Castiel, but still. Amy will be sufficient, then. Should I call you Steve when others are around?" When he nodded, Amriel asked, "How is Sam Winchester? I watched over him from Heaven when I could, since he is a child of May."

Castiel tilted his head to the side, realizing that Sam's birthday was in fact May 2nd, so he fell under Amriel's care.

"He has been… surviving," he answered finally. "I am sure you know about everything he has gone through."

"Oh I know! I wanted to help him so badly, but I was told not to intervene… We all were." Amriel was upset, Cas could tell, so he reached out and took her hand again in an attempt to comfort her, like he had seen on television.

"I understand completely,  _Amy_ ," he said, testing out her new name and finding that it didn't suit her the way Amriel did. It merely fell off of his tongue blandly, whereas he enjoyed saying her given name. "Why don't you eat something and stay here until my manager gets back. Then I could speak to her about employing you as well."

Amriel nodded in acceptance and pulled one of the sandwiches out of her backpack, opening it up and eating while she and Castiel talked. She hadn't seen him since his war against Raphael, and before that she only saw him in passing in Heaven. Castiel was far older than she was, created for a purpose far different than hers.

While all angels called each other brother or sister, only angels that were created at the same time were truly "related" by human terms. She knew little about Castiel other than his curiosity when it came to humanity, his defiance of orders, and his fervent protection of the Winchesters. Amriel felt a similar way regarding Sam, but Dean was not under her guard so she was not to deal with him.

* * *

Nora, the manager of the Gas-N-Sip, returned after the two had been talking for nearly an hour. She was surprised to see Steve talking to a pretty blonde girl that looked far too young for him, and she was even more surprised when he introduced her as his friend.

"This is Amy. She's new to town and looking for a job," Castiel said, "She is a hard worker and I would train her, if you'd like me to."

The older woman gazed at the small girl, taking in her loose clothes and the ratty backpack she was holding on to. It reminded her a lot of how Steve had appeared out of nowhere. Maybe she was having a tough time and needed to run away, who knew. Nora wasn't one to judge, and Steve had turned out to be an excellent employee so far. Plus now she could cut back on a few of her own hours to spend time at home.

"That's fine with me, Steve. I can always use an extra set of hands around here. Amy, I'll have a vest and a name tag for you tomorrow. Today you can watch Steve around the store just to get a feel for things. I've gotta run, though, so I'll see you both in the morning," Nora smiled at the two, noticing how Steve stared at Amy when she wasn't looking. She figured he had a crush on the girl, and what man wouldn't? After saying goodbye, Nora left the store and the two former angels looked at one another.

"That was surprisingly easy," Amriel said and Castiel shrugged, telling her that Nora was a good person.

"Do you have any other clothing?" he asked, not surprised when she shook her head. Cas rifled through his pockets and pulled out a handful of cash, giving it to her. "Take this money and go to one of the stores on Main Street- it's two blocks away. Buy shirts, pants, and undergarments. Then come back here and I'll show you how things work around the store."

"Castiel, you do not have to do this for me," Amriel started, but he held up his hand.

"I'm doing this because I want to. You didn't deserve to fall and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something horrible happened to you because of what I did-"

She quickly cut him off, saying that he didn't  _do_  anything, that it wasn't his fault. He wanted to know how she could believe that he wasn't to blame when it was his grace that completed the spell.

"I told you! I believe you did not know Metatron's true desires when you were helping him! Cas, you are good too, do not ever believe otherwise."

Castiel could see the fierce look in her eyes that showed an emotion he knew was passion. She firmly believed that he had meant no harm to his fellow angels, and despite that being the truth, he still felt angry with himself for not figuring out Metatron's trick sooner. Amriel quickly straightened her posture and nodded briefly, telling Castiel that she would go to the clothing store and return as soon as she could.

"Do you have your weapon?" Cas asked her and Amriel nodded, pulling her shirt up briefly so he could see the hilt of her blade. He caught a glimpse of creamy skin and he imagined himself running his hands along her body- Castiel stiffened, shaking his head and wondering where that thought had come from.

"Are you all right, Cas?" she said, her voice full of concern, which surprised Castiel greatly. Then again, Amriel was not a soldier and was not as hardened by years of battle as he had been, so she was more prone to emotion than he had been as a soldier.

"I'm fine," he reassured her. "I'll see you once you return."

Amriel nodded and walked out the door, making her way toward the stores Castiel had told her about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to After The Fall! I'm crossposting this from FanFiction.net (I'm hello.berkeley there), so once everything is caught up here I'll be posting new chapters on both sites simultaneously.
> 
> Hope you're excited for this journey, and thanks for reading!


	3. Marissa

Purchasing clothing was extremely difficult for a fallen angel. Amriel was overwhelmed by the seemingly endless amount of clothes- there were racks of pants, shirts, and items she could not identify. She should have asked Castiel to come with her, but she didn't want to seem more weak and helpless than she already did.

Amriel wandered around the store, picking up anything that seemed interesting and putting it back in its respective place. She finally gave up trying to figure things out on her own and approached the employee that worked there, a young woman with unnatural, red hair and dark pink lips that looked painted on.

"Hello… I was wondering if you could assist me?" Amriel started, and the girl looked up from her magazine. "I am looking to purchase clothing, but I do not know what to buy."

The girl stared at her as if she was an alien, and Amriel might as well have been one. After looking over her once or twice, the red head nodded and got up from her stool.

"Sure, come on. You're cute so I'm sure I can find you some stuff," her voice seemed bored, but the employee had been reading a fashion magazine and said she had a few ideas.

The girl, whose name tag said  _Marissa_  told Amriel that she was an aspiring fashion student and longed to get out of Idaho and move to New York, which was incidentally where Amriel had taken her vessel. The two talked, well, Marissa mostly talked about clothes and Amriel tried to commit all of the intricate rules of fashion to memory.

"Don't wear white after Labor Day, unless it's a winter white."

The blonde had no idea that winter was even a color.

"Don't wear denim on denim on denim. Canadian tuxedo's aren't cute, and be careful how you wear stripes- it might make you look like an inmate," Marissa kept listing off rules as she held up different shirts before shaking her head and putting them back.

Amriel's mind was running a mile a minute as she managed to hold back the majority of her questions. After pulling what seemed like far too many pieces off of racks, Marissa pushed the blonde into a dressing room and told her which things went with which.

"Are you sure this is not too revealing?" Amriel asked, emerging from the small room wearing a pair of jeans that were skin tight and a shirt that was shorter in the front than it was in the back.

"Oh no, girl. Plus you have a rockin' bod! Why wouldn't you want to show it off? It might be cold out but that doesn't mean you have to dress like a nun." Marissa grinned, giving the girl a thumbs up for the outfit. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Amriel shook her head, saying that she had no time for one. The former angel had been constantly moving across the country, and her vessel truly had no room in her schedule for a romantic interest while in school.

"Well wear any of what I picked out for you and you'll definitely find one soon," the red head told her with a smile.

Marissa had decided that Amriel, or Amy as she had introduced herself as, would be leaving with a few pairs of leggings and the jeans, as well as a few plain t-shirts and a couple of cuter tops, sweaters, a thick, knitted scarf, and a soft, warm garment called a hoodie.

They had found her everything she needed, and Amriel was pleased with what she was purchasing. Marissa even gave her something called a discount- the redhead said she  _"tacked on"_  as many discounts as she could, and now she had money left over to return to Castiel.

"I have one more question, Marissa," Amriel said quietly, unsure of how to go about it. She shifted her new duffel bag on her shoulder so that it sat comfortably, wondering why she felt so strange. "Do you know if there are any women's shelters in town? I am.. new here and looking for somewhere to sleep until I can find something more permanent."

The cashier eyed the girl sadly, having already figured that she was running from something. Probably a bad boyfriend or family, Marissa had imagined. Amy seemed like a nice girl, but she was a little clueless about everything apparently.

"Yeah, actually. It's just up the road from here, so not too far," Marissa told her. "Um, I spent some time there. Mrs. Haverbrook runs the place and she's really great. She'll make sure you're taken care of."

"Thank you very much, Marissa," Amriel nodded, feeling a little disappointed that she was not born in May. She would like to watch over her once Heaven was restored… if it was restored at all.

* * *

The former angel left the store and walked to the shelter, where she saw a few women milling about, speaking with each other or reading books. It wasn't too different from others she had been to, and Amriel found the place warm and inviting.

The walls were painted a warm gold tone and the couches looked plush and comfortable. Amriel wouldn't mind being able to curl up on something like that, rather than outside in a wooded area or a hidden alcove down an alley.

She finally found who she was looking for and she found Mrs. Regina Haverbrook. The woman was well into her fifties, with dark brown hair that was starting to gray, and she had kind, brown eyes.

Amriel introduced herself as Amy and asked if she had any room for her at the shelter.

"Oh, I am so sorry Amy, but we don't have any beds available right now- with winter coming, we're gonna be pretty much full for the next few months. I really hate to do this," Regina said with a frown on her worn face. "But you'll have to check back in a few days. There's another shelter across town if you'd like to see if they have anything for tonight."

"I understand," Amriel told her, nodding her head firmly and feeling a panic coursing through her body. What was this? Why did she feel it when things weren't going according to how she planned?

"Please, come back at the end of the week. I know we have a few people moving into permanent housing then. I'll put your name on the list- I just need your last name."

"Grant. My name is Amy Grant," Amriel said, using a name she had seen on a magazine cover at the gas station. "I will return in a few days. Thank you for your time, Mrs. Haverbrook."

* * *

Amriel walked back to the Gas-N-Sip, her backpack and duffel bag in tow. She felt somewhat accomplished- perhaps Castiel would be able to suggest a place she could go to rest. When she entered the store Castiel was helping a customer check out, so Amriel waited until the human left to approach him.

"I have acquired clothing for the coming season. The woman working at the store was very kind and told me that there is a women's shelter nearby. However, they have no room for me," she told him, watching a frown cross his face. "I will find something, though. Do not be concerned."

"Why wouldn't I worry, Amriel?" he blurted out, unable to keep himself from saying it. "I would let you stay with me, but I've been sleeping in the store room without Nora's knowledge."

A frown found its way onto Amriel's lips now, too, at the thought of him sleeping inside the gas station. She had seen a few 'For Sale' signs on houses as she walked into town, so she told Castiel about them.

"That's always an idea… I'll go with you tonight after we close the store," Cas said with a finality in his voice.

He had overheard several customers over the past few weeks talking about abandoned houses and foreclosures, so he knew that there were vacant homes for Amriel to stay in. He didn't want her to be alone, though, so he hoped she would allow him to stay with her.

"I appreciate that, Cas. It will be good having someone to talk to," she smiled, "Now. Where can I put these so they are not in the way while I watch you tend to the store?"

Castiel showed Amriel how to stock shelves, refill the ice in the soda machine, and even how to check out customers at the register. She was a fast learner and seemed intrigued by every little thing that went into running the store. Cas was the same way, too, he realized as he watched her dispense Dr. Pepper into a foam cup.

He had spent more time on Earth, though, and had more time to adjust to the world around him. She seemed to be doing a good job interacting with people, Cas thought, since she had managed to buy clothes by herself.

"What are these?" Amriel asked as she picked up a pair of lime green sunglasses from the rack. She put them on her face, like she had seen the humans that came into the gas station doing. "Is this correct?"

She looked up at Cas, who actually  _laughed_  and said, "I believe they are upside down."

"Oh…" she quickly corrected them before asking if she was wearing them properly now.

"I would say so. They're sunglasses," he told her. "People wear them to protect their eyes from the sun."

"Why do they come in so many colors if they all do the same thing?" Amriel tried on a different pair with wire frames, making sure they were the correct way first.

"I think it has something to do with individuality or style," Cas shrugged before saying, "Those look much better than the previous pair."

"Are you saying that these are visually pleasing?" she asked, trying to understand the many meanings and nuances that came with humans.

Castiel's face reddened, and for a moment Amriel thought that something was wrong with him. She quickly approached him and took his chin with her thumb and forefinger, staring at his face with what he knew was a look of worry. When she didn't find anything immediately wrong, she released him and let her hand fall to her side.

"You appear to be fine, but your vessel is such an unusual color-" Amriel trailed off, taking in the pink color in his cheeks.

"This isn't a vessel anymore, Amriel. It's my body," he reminded her. "Yes, those sunglasses are visually pleasing on you. It's a compliment."

"Oh, I apologize for my mistake," she said quietly, taking them off and putting them back on the rack. "Thank you for the compliment, though. What other duties do you have here that I can help you with?"

Cas shook his head, trying to get rid of the feeling of her touch as he grabbed a clipboard from behind the counter and together they started going over a checklist Nora had given him.


	4. Safe

Once the gas station was closed for the night, Castiel gathered his belongings that he had hidden in the back room as well as a few items for Amriel, like a hair brush, dental floss and other things he thought would be useful, and as soon as he locked the doors to the store they were on their way to find an abandoned house.

Amriel led the way back towards the bus station, and after about fifteen minutes they came upon a small neighborhood full for for-sale signs. They peered into windows and checked doors to see if there were any residents or if they were locked, until the two finally found a tiny house at the end of a cul-de-sac that was completely abandoned.

The front door was unlocked, so Amriel walked inside first, since she was the one that could still heal at a rapid rate. There were no lights, so they had no idea if the power worked, but Castiel had taken flashlights and a camping lantern he had been using at the gas station, so Amriel took one and flicked it on, telling Cas to wait outside.

With her blade drawn, Amriel walked through the two-bedroom house, inspecting each room, followed by the bathroom and the kitchen before allowing Castiel to come inside. He immediately shut the door and locked it behind him, laying a line of salt along the threshold and on the window sills.

He took a look around the house, noticing that the previous owners had left it in a disheveled state. Moonlight was shining through the sheer curtains, and some windows had blinds that were twisted and bent. There was a wobbly table in what seemed to be the dining area, but there were no chairs. There was a bare mattress on the floor of one of the bedrooms, which he would offer to Amriel when the time came. A frame hung unevenly on one of the living room walls, the phrase "Home Sweet Home" staring back at them in red lettering.

The entire place seemed so run down and  _sad_ , Castiel decided.

"It'd be best if you drew some sigils," Cas said, but Amriel was already busy slicing her forearm open and drawing on the walls.

"I have been doing this since I took my vessel, Cas. I will keep us safe," she told him confidently, continuing to put up wardings until she was certain they would be protected from angels and demons alike. She drew a few banishing sigils around the small house too, just in case they needed to get rid of any angel that found them.

Cas went into the kitchen and turned on the faucet, surprised and relieved to find that there was still running water. He knew that he could certainly use a long shower, and he wondered if Amriel knew about the intricacies of faucets yet.

"Amriel, I was wondering if you have learned how to use human appliances yet," he said, unsure of how to ask about the strange topic.

She looked at him blankly before furrowing her eyebrows in thought, biting her bottom lip as she shrugged, something she had seen Castiel and countless other humans do.

"Yes, I know how to use things based off of what my vessel has done- I tap into her memories if I need to figure something out," she answered with a nod.

He was relieved, now knowing that he wouldn't need to explain how to shower or do anything to maintain her vessel. Cas could see that she was tired, and he was as well. He told her that he was going to take a shower, and that they would talk once he was done. Amriel merely nodded and told him that she would double check her wardings, just to make sure that everything was correct.

* * *

Cas rested his head against the cool wall of the shower, reveling in the feel of the scalding water pouring over him. It had been a long time since he had been able to take an actual shower, and it felt amazing now that he was actually doing it.

Coming with Amriel had been a good choice so far- he wouldn't have to sleep at the gas station and he could rest easier with all of the wardings she had put up. At the Gas-N-Sip, he couldn't draw any without drawing suspicion, and he would have to clean them up each morning, which would have been redundant.

He thought of Amriel as he washed his hair with the shampoo he had brought, wondering what she had been doing during her time on Earth. She was on the move, hiding from vengeful angels, and he knew that he should ask why she didn't side with any of them.

Amriel, he mused, closing his eyes and ducking his head under the spray of water. She was an interesting creation. In Heaven, her wings were a striking emerald color towards the tips that faded down into a bright white, inspiring the stone that represented the month she guarded. She was a kind and gentle angel, but fierce and unrelenting when she fought for him against Raphael. It was strange to only see her vessel when he clearly recognized her by the way she carried herself.

He knew that her vessel was visually stunning, and Dean would probably say she was  _hot_ , but Cas didn't know what to say or how to act around someone that was so breath taking. He had spent time watching Dean when he was still with the Winchesters, and noticed that he radiated self esteem and something he couldn't place, and women flocked to him.

Castiel spent much of his time at the gas station watching how humans interacted with one another, and he hoped that would help his interactions with Amriel.

Perhaps he could use what he learned from the pizza man, back when Sam was soulless and he was still an angel. Cas sighed and shook his head, realizing that he was taking far too long and turned off the water. He had purchased a few towels from another store and kept them for when he needed them, and he figured he would let Amriel use the other one if she wanted to shower as well.

When he was dressed, Castiel hung up the wet towel and returned to the living room, only to find it empty. His heart jumped up into his throat and his eyes widened, trying to look around in the dark house for any signs of Amriel. All of her sigils were up and still completed, and the salt lines were still intact. He hadn't heard anything unusual when he was in the shower, but he couldn't find her anywhere.

He called out her name, his voice sounding strangled and foreign to him as he frantically looked for his phone. He had given her one of the pre-paid phones that the gas station sold, telling her to keep it with her in case they were separated and needed to get in contact with one another.

He quickly found her name at the top of his short list of contacts and pressed send, only to hear it ringing from the small table near the kitchen. Cas hung up and heaved a sigh, trying to calm himself down so he could think rationally. That was one of the most difficult things about being human, he found. He couldn't think rationally all the time, and it was hard to adjust to that.

"Amriel?" he said again, his voice louder this time, and he listened carefully as he walked into the bedroom with the mattress, noticing that the closet door was ajar. Castiel approached the door and opened it, looking inside to find Amriel huddled in the corner, her head between her knees that were pulled up to her chest. Her blonde hair was covering her face, but he could see that she was breathing, although it seemed rather slow to him.

Cas knelt down and gently pushed her hair out of her face, causing the girl to stir. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, but not really focusing on him.

"Are you okay? Why are you in a closet?" he asked her, noticing how far away she seemed to be. Her eyes weren't focused and something seemed different about her.

"I can't handle feeling so much, Castiel," Amriel mumbled quietly, and Cas wasn't sure he quite heard her. "I just want it to stop."

"What did you do?" he gaped, wondering if he even wanted to hear her answer.

"Someone in Philadelphia let me try these," she told him, holding up a clear bag that contained what looked like a few hundred pills.

"What are they, Amriel?" Cas took the bag, eyeing its contents and trying to figure out what they were based on the markings etched into them. What did these numbers even  _mean?_

"Oxycodone? Percocet? I don't quite know- they go by different names," she said lazily, "I like them because I don't have to feel anything."

Castiel's heart stopped momentarily and he felt bad for her. He dropped the bag beside him and wrapped his arms around Amriel, trying to comfort his fallen friend. She stiffened as much as she could- he had no idea how many pills she had taken, but he was sure that she required a good amount due to her grace.

Once she realized what he was doing, her body loosened and she returned his hug, tightening her arms around him. Cas felt tears falling down her cheeks and onto his shirt, and he was surprised. As an angel walking on Earth he did not cry, but when he had been powerless and in the hospital he had certainly wanted to due to the physical pain he had been in.

"I- what is this?" she asked, using one of her hands to wipe them away so she could see what they were. "Is my vessel leaking?"

"You're crying, Amriel… Humans do it when they are under great physical or emotional strain," he explained to her as he stood, lifting her up as well. She was a full four or five inches shorter than he was, and he he noticed that he could easily rest his chin on top of her head.

Amriel continued to cry, burying her face into Castiel's chest and squeezing her arms around his waist. She mumbled about how she didn't like being trapped on Earth and that she just wanted to return to Heaven.

"I'm so sorry, but you know that's not possible right now," Cas said as gently as he could, moving his fingers up and down her back like had seen in movies. "You can do this. If I can somehow manage to stay alive as a human, you can do it with your grace. We'll stick together, and you won't be alone anymore."

She pressed herself into him further, finding that the warmth he radiated made her feel better and calmed her down until she stopped crying. Amriel let out a small sigh when she realized that she was no longer feeling the numbing effects of the pills she had taken.

"What?" Cas asked, setting his hands on her shoulders and holding her back at arm's length. "What's wrong?"

"I feel things again," she groaned, her eyes searching the floor for the pills. "Please, Cas, let me take a few more, just so I can fall asleep. I need them!"

"No, Amriel," he said as he shook his head, a frown on his face. He quickly leaned down and pocketed the pills before looking down at her tear stained face. "From this moment on, no pills. I will help you through this, I promise."

She knew that a promise from Castiel meant something, and surprisingly Amriel felt a little better.

"Why don't you shower and then we can go to sleep," Cas suggested, gently leading her towards the bathroom, glad that she followed him without any resistance.

"I will be in the living room if you need anything," he told her once she was standing in the bathroom, and once she nodded in understanding he closed the door and went to look over her wardings and consider calling Dean.

Nearly twenty minutes later the bathroom door cracked open and Castiel turned to see Amriel peeking out at him.

"Castiel… I seem to have forgotten my clothes to change into. Would you please bring me some?" She sounded embarrassed, but Cas wasn't sure she even knew what that was, so he said that he would only be a few seconds.

He found her duffel bag quickly and he rifled through it carefully, looking for something appropriate for her to sleep in. Cas saw pants that weren't jeans and seemed comfortable, and something Dean had once called a tank top. He also found undergarments that were, to his understanding, rather provocative, but they would have to do.

Cas knocked on the bathroom door and waited for it to open before he handed Amriel the clothes, which she took from him and said a quiet thank you before shutting it again. At least she had the mind to close the door, perhaps she knew to do so from her vessel.

Amriel emerged from the bathroom, her blonde hair a few shades darker because it was still wet, and Cas worried that she would get sick if she slept with it like that. Fortunately he had yet to contract an illness, but he still had plenty of opportunity now that he was human.

"I believe the wardings are sufficient and then some, are they not?" Amriel asked as she saw Castiel looking over her work. She caught the impressed look on his face and a surge of happiness spread through her.

"Extremely, Amriel," he agreed, and she realized that she enjoyed the way her name sounded coming from him. "You have used sigils I have not seen in years."

The two moved from the living room to the bedroom with the mattress, and Castiel began to roll out his sleeping bag, telling Amriel that she could take the bed.

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly, Cas. You are the human- you require far more comfort than I do!"

He stared at her, surprised that she would think to offer. Amriel was beginning to reveal more and more of her newfound humanity with each passing minute, and he was glad for that.

"There is plenty of room," Castiel pointed out. "We can share."

Cas moved his sleeping bag so it was unfolded and laid it out on top of the bed as a blanket. The mattress didn't look too terrible, so he wasn't concerned about sleeping on it. He noticed that Amriel hadn't moved an inch, and he sent her a concerned glance.

"Amriel, is everything all right?"

"It's a sin to lie with a man before marriage," she squeaked, her eyes moving from Cas to the bed and then back to him again.

"We will be sleeping, not fornicating," Cas told her with a small smile. "You must realize that you  _will_  sin while you're here, it's natural for humans."

"I suppose that is acceptable then," Amriel nodded after a few moments of thinking, motioning for Castiel to get settled in before her. She wanted to see how he did it before she embarrassed herself- since she fell, she had been sleeping in small spaces and had no idea how to treat this large mattress.

Cas grabbed his jacket and balled it up for a pillow and set it on the side closest to the wall before lifting up the sleeping bag and sitting on the bed. He motioned for Amriel to join him, and he watched her carefully mimic his movements, taking her new sweatshirt for a pillow and sitting beside him. Once the sleeping bag was over their legs, Cas laid down and Amriel did the same, laying on her back while he shifted onto his side.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Castiel," she said quietly, turning her head so she could look at him, his bright blue eyes shining in the moonlight. "You have always cared about us all. If only everyone else reciprocated your devotion."

Her statement caught him off guard and Cas didn't know what to say, so he sent her a small smile and said "you're welcome."

"Good night, Cas. Sleep well," Amriel told him as he began to doze off, completely exhausted from the day's events.

* * *


	5. Suck It Up

Amriel had been in town for two weeks now. She was working at the Gas-N-Sip with Cas, who had trained her wonderfully according to Nora. The manager of the gas station was impressed with her employees and made herself scarce around the store now that she knew she had trustworthy workers.

She did not return to the women's shelter, partially because she didn't want to be around  _strangers_  as she learned they were called, and because she didn't want to leave Castiel either.

Cas was showing Amriel the more positive things about being human, or as close to human as the angel now was. He took her to a diner and made her try milkshakes and pie. They went to see a movie and she particularly enjoyed the popcorn the theater sold. Castiel took her to a park where they would sit and watch humans interact with one another, and he would try to explain their actions the best he could.

She was grateful, if that was the word for what she was feeling, for what Castiel was doing for her. At night when they slept beside each other in the abandoned house, Cas would toss and turn, his eyes squeezed tight and his brow furrowed. Sometimes he would speak, and Amriel, who only slept a few hours a night, would hear him pleading for forgiveness, begging for someone to understand. Amriel felt something in her chest, possibly her heart, ache because of this.

This night was the same as nearly every other. It was 4 a.m. and Castiel was murmuring softly about Metatron and how it was all his fault- how he should have known he was being tricked. Amriel knew he was having another nightmare. She had experienced one the other night and had asked Cas if there was any way to make them stop, and unfortunately there wasn't.

"Elasa bolape sapah emna" she whispered to him in Enochian as she placed her hand on his cheek, feeling the coarse stubble lining his jaw. Amriel would tell him that he was safe whenever he would stir like this, and she found that he would usually calm down and rest peacefully when she spoke in their native tongue.

Tonight was different, however.

Castiel's breathing became erratic and he was sweating- Amriel had no idea what to do, so she sat up and gently shook his shoulder.

"Cas- Castiel," she said loudly, trying to wake him. When he didn't respond, she shook him a bit harder and his eyes snapped open, and he looked around, taking in the room as he sat up. His eyes finally settled on Amriel, who was sitting still and watching him quietly, unsure of what he would do if she moved an inch.

"Amriel?" he asked, sounding like he hand't seen her in years. "Was- was I having a nightmare?"

She nodded, reaching out and moving the hair that was sticking to his forehead so she could see him better.

"It started like it normally does when you have one… I tried to soothe you, but it did not work," Amriel frowned.

In the weeks she had been with Castiel, she had learned how to let more of her emotions through, and she found that it helped when she didn't keep them locked away inside herself. She still took pills when Castiel wasn't around, and she hid it as best she could.

"Soothe me?" Cas said, shaking his head. "I don't understand."

"When you are restless or unsettled, I speak to you," she told him. "I've found that Enochian works best."

He seemed to be in deep thought, and Amriel assumed that he was no longer speaking to her, so she started to lay back down when he set a hand on her arm, stopping her movements.

"You are the voice I hear before I'm pulled from my nightmares? How do you do it?" Castiel's eyes were wide now as he stared at her, and she couldn't help but notice how they shimmered with emotions she had yet to understand.

"I do not mean to access your dreams… I didn't think I could," she told him honestly, setting her hand back on his cheek. "I lay my hand here and I speak to you. I have seen lovers do that when I watched the television."

They had gone to a laundromat and Castiel had explained that like movies, television was filled with complex, fictional stories that depicted human fantasies and dramas. Needless to say, Amriel was enthralled.

"I believe you have been able to, in some form. Thank you for that- your voice has saved me from reliving many horrible memories," Cas managed a small smile. "It sounds just like I remember it."

Amriel raised an eyebrow, something she had seen many humans do when they were confused. He could hear her in his dreams, and it was her true voice? Perhaps even though he was human, Castiel could still perceive angels' true forms. She wasn't going to test that, though, in case he couldn't.

"It's the least I can do, Cas," she answered in a soft voice, contrasting his deep, raspy one. "Now, would you like to go back to sleep?"

Cas nodded and asked if she could do him a favor. He liked the warmth that she radiated beside him, and he wanted some of that warmth to maybe ward off his bad dreams, like how her voice did.

"Could I lie with you, possibly?"

She stared at him curiously, her head tilted to the right slightly and she said that he already was. Cas shook his head, trying to explain it to her. When he couldn't, he motioned for her to lay down on her side and she complied, the apprehensive glint still in her eyes.

"Like this," he said as he moved closer to her so his chest was pressed against her back and his arm was carefully placed around her waist like he had seen in films. He laid his head on her pillow and breathed deeply, inhaling the smell of her hair, finding that he felt better now that he was in contact with someone. Amriel was tense, but he felt her begin to loosen up and place her hand on top of the one that was resting on her stomach.

"This is pleasant," she murmured, realizing that she could feel his chest rising and falling with his breath and soon enough she was breathing in sync with him. It was an odd sensation, but she liked it, none the less, and she began to speak to him in Enochian again.

Every once in a while he would respond, and Amriel's heart would beat a little faster at his deep voice and how it resonated in his chest and against her back. Their native language sounded so different when it came from human mouths, less musical and harsher sounding, but it still reminded her of Heaven and how much she missed it.

Castiel fell silent after a while and Amriel glanced behind her to see that he was fast asleep, not a trace of anguish on his face and she smiled. He deserved to be happy and free of the nightmares that haunted him, especially considering everything he had done for Heaven.

* * *

A few more weeks had past and Castiel was at the Gas-N-Sip while Amriel was out wandering around the small town. She worked all morning, so when Cas came in for the evening shift they spoke quietly before she left. He had told her to be careful and stay alert, and she promised to keep her blade within reach. Cas watched her walk out the door, unaware that he was blatantly staring at the way she looked in the leggings she was wearing.

"Steve, when are you gonna suck it up and ask her out?" One of the regular customers, Christine, had seen Amriel leave, and the woman knew he had it bad.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Cas said quickly, turning abruptly to face Christine only to see that the she was wearing a huge grin on her face.

"You clearly like her. Anyone with  _eyes_  can see the way you look at Amy, and I think it's sweet," Christine said as she set her usual purchases on the counter- a bottle of Coca-Cola, a turkey sandwich, and a small salad, and Castiel began ringing up the items. "I ask her about you when you aren't here. She says you spend a lot of time together."

Cas' eyebrows are well in his hairline by now, and Christine laughs, pulling out her debit card.

"Yes, we go to the park and spend a lot of time talking," he told the woman, watching her swipe her card and enter in her pin number.

"Wanna know what I think?" Christine asked, leaning against the counter as he bagged her items. "You should ask her on a date."

"I- I couldn't possibly," he stammered, plucking her receipt off of the printer and handing it to Christine. "I will keep your suggestion in mind, though."

"You better act fast, Steve-o, or else someone else will snatch her up!" the brunette laughed, her eyes wrinkling at the corners, "I'll see you on Monday."

Castiel watched as Christine left and he was once again alone in the store. He then remembered that he didn't have to work tomorrow- he had Sundays off, which he thought was humorous. His phone vibrated from in his pocket and Castiel pulled it out, highly aware that he was not supposed to be using his mobile device while he was working, but there were no customers so he felt that it was an appropriate time.

He opened the phone and found a text message from Amriel. Cas had been learning more and more about technology, so he imparted some of his knowledge with her so they could communicate if there was an emergency or weren't together.  
  
 **I believe I have attached a photograph. Marissa told me this is called a selfie. I have no idea what that means, but I think you are meant to send me one in return.**

Cas opened the picture to see a grainy image of Amriel standing in front of what he figured were clothing racks. She must have been at the store she visited when she first came to town. It appeared as if she was wearing cosmetics- perhaps this Marissa girl had been teaching her things Castiel couldn't. Her gray eyes were lined with black and her lids were covered by dark blue pigments, from what he could tell in the picture. While he thought that she looked stunning without anything on her face, the cosmetics only enhanced her beauty and he was amazed.

Unsure of what he should do, Cas thought about calling Dean. He realized that he couldn't call the Winchester when he had questions about every little thing about being human, so he decided that he would figure it out himself.

* * *

Marissa had been playing dress-up with Amriel for nearly an hour now. While working on her eye for fashion, the girl had the former angel trying on all sorts of clothes that the store had just gotten in.

Fall was in full swing and winter was well on its way, so most of the merchandise consisted of things Marissa called 'leggings', sweaters, and boots. Amriel was gracious and tried on everything, ultimately ending up with a few loose sweaters and dark colored leggings. Marissa had even insisted that she get something she referred to as the little black dress, which was apparently an item that every woman needed.

As Amriel tried on dress after dress, Marissa asked questions about her hair and skin routines, which completely dumbfounded her.

"I don't use anything except shampoo and conditioner from the Gas-N-Sip," Amriel said as she emerged from the dressing room in a dress that wasn't too short and was fitted in the bust and flowing the rest of the way. She liked the way it felt and enjoyed how it moved when she watched herself in the mirror.

"That's all? No hairspray? No blowdryer? Do you use any makeup or anything?" Marissa sounded confused and Amriel shrugged, just as she had seen Castiel do, and she said that she didn't use any products like that.

Amriel had noticed that many women and girls used what looked like writing utensils and paint brushes to apply colors to their faces to make themselves more visually appealing or make themselves feel more confident. Digging into her vessel's memories, she realized that Amy had used a very simple cosmetics routine that Amriel would definitely not be able to replicate.

"You have to let me do your face! Please? I love doing my friends' makeup, I promise it won't look bad," Marissa asked before telling her that the dress she had on was definitely the one.

So Amriel allowed Marissa to "do her makeup" and she learned things from her that Castiel could never teach her, like the art of the selfie and how to apply mascara. She felt guilty for enjoying all of the time she was spending with this human girl, learning intricate things that went into being one of them, but she also knew that Castiel had no idea how women functioned and it wasn't his fault for that.

"My device has vibrated, does that mean I have a message?" Amriel asked Marissa nearly twenty minutes after she sent a picture of herself to Cas.

"Oh yeah, just open your phone and check the inbox like I showed you," Marissa had been surprisingly patient with her, figuring that she was from a sheltered home that was probably extremely religious. She wouldn't have been surprised if Amy was an ex-Amish, really, with how she reacted to technology.

Amriel navigated to the messages and saw a response from Castiel. He was the only contact in the phone and she hadn't figured out how to put his name in, so for now it was merely a bunch of numbers and his message.  
  
 **I received your picture. You look very lovely, judging by what you sent. I attached a selfie of my own. I will see you when my shift is over.**

Pressing the little button to open the picture, Amriel heard a sound escape her mouth that surprised her. Was that  _laughter_  she heard? Was she laughing?

The photo was of Castiel just as she had seen him earlier, in his blue vest and behind the counter. His head was tilted and a confused look was on his face and she could see his arms outstretched to try and fit his entire body into the picture.

"Let me see!" Marissa peeked over Amriel's shoulder and she gasped. "That's the guy that works at the gas station! He's like 35, Amy!"

"What? He is a coworker and a friend," she said quickly, realizing that she sounded defensive and tried to soften her tone by finishing with, "He's very kind."

"To each her own. Get that hot older dude if that's what you're into, girl. Some girls need a daddy, I guess," Marissa winked and Amriel's eyes widened.

"What does my Father have to do with this?"

"I'll tell you next time. Now, take your new clothes and get out of here! Put on that dress and pay Steve a visit," she laughed, handing Amriel the bag with her new clothes inside, and the former angel nodded, only because she had no idea what the girl had meant.

"Okay, I'll do that. Thank you again for today, Marissa. You are far too generous. I will see you soon," Amriel told her and Marissa shrugged, saying that it was nothing.


	6. You're Dead

Amriel walked into the abandoned house as the sun was beginning to set and she knew she had a few hours before Castiel would be back.

Whenever he would work later than her, he would bring back something to eat and she was sure tonight was no exception, so Amriel didn't trouble herself to eat anything just yet. She turned on the small lanterns that they used for light, just so Cas wouldn't have to come back to complete darkness.

She had a different craving all together, and there was only one way to satisfy it. Castiel had taken all of her pills, but she knew where he kept them hidden. For some reason he didn't throw them away- Amriel believed it had something to do with him possibly needing them in the future if he was injured.

Cas had them hidden away in one of the cabinets in the dilapidated kitchen, so Amriel went through them to find the bag residing on the top shelf of a cabinet.

The former angel had been taking pills when her shift differed from Castiel's. She would come straight back from work, leading him to believe she was out exploring the area, and she would swallow a dozen or more of the small tablets and be out of it until about an hour before he got back.

Of course, she was worried that he would find out and reprimand her or even make her leave, but she risked it anyways.

Counting out about 35 pills, Amriel briefly thought to herself that she shouldn't be doing this. Castiel had asked her to stop and she had made no effort to. All she had done was be more secretive about it to keep him from suspecting something.

Amriel still felt lonely without the constant buzz of her fellow angels in the back of her mind. She disliked feeling so isolated, despite having Castiel right beside her most of the time. He helped her greatly, and she knew that, but Amriel couldn't tolerate feeling so many emotions all of the time.

She had been on Earth for a couple of months now and even though she was adjusting little by little, it was still difficult for her to cope.

Once she swallowed all of the pills with the help of the bottle of water she had brought from the gas station, Amriel moved into the bedroom and laid down on the mattress, kicking off her shoes and sprawling out on the sleeping bag. She closed her eyes and felt her muscles relax as she began to drift off, into sleep or something else she wasn't sure, but she was numb all the same.

Even though she knew that Cas would be upset with her if he found out and she knew she was betraying his trust, it didn't matter when she couldn't feel anything. His feelings would have to come behind her temporary escape from being practically human.

* * *

_Amriel was in the middle of a forest when she heard her name being called from somewhere in the distance, but she paid it no mind and continued wandering through the woods. She wasn't sure for what, but she kept walking. Something was calling to her, so she walked for what felt like hours until she came upon a clearing._

_Standing in the clearing was a disheveled looking man, his dark hair was unruly and his jaw was covered in stubble, like he hadn't shaved in a few weeks. Amriel noticed that they were nearly the same height as she approached him, and she saw that he was wearing jeans and a suit jacket with a t-shirt underneath. His features were angled and he seemed familiar yet strange at the same time._

_"Amriel," he spoke, a smile on his face as she came closer. "It's good to finally see you again."_

_"I don't believe we've met," she answered, looking him up and down as she felt for her blade. Of course since this was some sort of dream, she didn't have it. "Who are you?"_

_"Actually we have," the man told her as he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, something she recognized as a thing people did when they were nervous. "It was a very long time ago, when you were very young. Some people know me as Chuck now, but you know me by another name."_

_The more she stared at him the more she realized that she did know who he was, and when she went to open her mouth and address him by name, he held up his hand to silence her._

_"I know, Amriel. It's been a while, huh?"_

_She nodded and remained silent, watching him and wondering why he had come to her._

_"I wanted to talk to you about Castiel," he finally said and she frowned. "He's human now, because of what Metatron has done."_

_"Yes- Metatron deceived him and now he is being hunted by our siblings," Amriel said bitterly. "I am doing my best to protect him, and he is helping me adjust to humanity."_

_Chuck shook his head slightly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighed and said that she wasn't adjusting very well._

_"What do you mean? I have employment and I have formed a relationship with a girl around my vessel's age… I would say that I have been successful so far." Amriel was growing nervous- she didn't want to displease him, but it was evident that he was not happy._

_"This pill thing needs to stop," Chuck said suddenly, taking a straightforward route with her. "You might think that they're helping, but they're destroying you. Amriel, you may still have your grace but you aren't indestructible. It was weakened when you fell and it needs time to heal."_

_"Wait- is she dead? Please, I have to know."_

_Chuck looked at Amriel with sad eyes and he shook his head._

_"Amy is no longer with you. Taking twenty Vicodin on a regular basis is a lot for a human to handle, so she couldn't survive much longer. This body is yours now." He gestured to Amriel, who glanced down at herself and frowned._

_"I didn't mean to harm her. I never wanted her to die," she said quietly, thinking about how careless she had been._

_"Well maybe you can make the best of a bad thing. Amy is at peace now and is no longer trapped inside herself. Just because Heaven is off limits to angels doesn't mean souls can't find their paradise. Your home will be restored in time, I'm sure of that. Now, there's something I need you to do."_

_"Anything, Chuck," she said immediately, her posture straightening as she prepared to receive orders._

_"Woah there," he held up his hands, "I'm not gonna order you around or whatever. Look, I really just want you to watch out for Cas. If he wants to stop Metatron, help him as best you can. If he wants to live a quiet human life, be there as long as he needs you. But you gotta stop with the drugs."_

_"I will do my best with Castiel. He has been nothing but kind and supportive to me. I have tried to stop on my own, but I can't. I feel lost and alone…"_

_Chuck stepped closer to the former angel and set his hand on her shoulder in an effort to comfort her. Amriel looked up at him and he gave her a sad smile._

_"You might not be in Heaven, but you are never alone," he said and then shrugged. "You have the freedom to choose your own path, so once you accept that, things will get easier. There's a reason you found Cas out of every other angel, Amriel. You both had doubts and disobeyed orders and you both want what's best, even if it means going against Heaven. I might've created you at different times, but you're definitely two peas in a pod."_

_Amriel was confused by the phrase, but she thanked Chuck for coming to her in her dream anyways, and the smile dropped off of his face instantly._

_"I- I don't really know how to tell you this," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "You're kinda dead and that's how I could find you to have this little meeting, but don't worry! You'll be just as you were before I came to you."_

_Chuck gave her a tight hug and she was instantly overwhelmed with warmth, love, and light, and she heard her name being called somewhere in the distance._

_"How are we supposed to open the gates to Heaven? What do we do?" She didn't want to go back without answers, but instead he shook his head and smiled knowingly._

_"Answers will come with time, don't worry about that. Just remember what I told you. Goodbye, Amriel," he said before pressing two fingers against her forehead, and then her vision was filled with a bright, white light._

Amriel's eyes opened and she inhaled sharply, her gaze focusing on the figure that was hovering above her. She recognized it as Castiel, and she felt a little better as she locked eyes with him and said one word. Chuck.

* * *

Cas left the Gas-N-Sip after he locked the doors for the night, a grocery bag full of snacks and sandwiches for himself and Amriel to eat tonight and tomorrow. He was excited to be able to sleep for a bit longer, since he didn't have to work tomorrow. It seemed like he couldn't get enough rest after being on the run and never really getting a good night of sleep.

He walked into the house and locked the door behind him, laying a salt line once more. Cas wasn't about to take any chances when it came to safety. He felt protected in this abandoned house and he wondered why the previous tenants had left as he set the bag of food on the wobbly table. Realizing that it was oddly quiet, he glanced around for Amriel.

Calling out her name, he was suddenly hit with the memory of finding her in the closet, so he took off for the bedroom. Cas froze when he saw her lying lifelessly on the mattress in the glow of the lantern, and his stomach dropped. He was at her side in a split second, moving faster than he ever had as a human and he checked for any signs that she was alive, only to find none.

He didn't know what to do. She wasn't breathing and he couldn't feel a pulse, so he grabbed his phone from his pocket and called Dean.

_"This is Dean's other, other phone. You know what to do."_

It was his voicemail. Of course when he needed Dean the most, he wouldn't be there. How typical. So Cas hung up and tossed the phone to the side, sitting beside Amriel's body and praying that she would be wake up. He couldn't help but feel the irony of praying to a higher being, with Heaven's entire host walking on Earth and trying to kill him.

Half an hour passed before Castiel considered calling Dean again, or maybe even Sam. He turned to look down at Amriel once more, taking in her vessel's soft features and smiling sadly. She had truly chosen a vessel that adequately represented only a fraction of her actual beauty, and he only wanted to see her smile at him one more time.

Amriel's fingers twitched and Cas jumped, leaning over her to see if she was breathing when she opened her eyes and gasped. Castiel flinched, her sudden movement scaring him and he heard her say the name  _Chuck_.

It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and Cas moved a few pieces of hair out of Amriel's face so he could make better eye contact with her.

"What happened?" he asked, realizing that he sounded angry when in fact he was more relieved than anything.

She stared up at him blankly for a few seconds, trying to steady her breathing before her gaze seemed to focus in and realize where she was and whom she was with.

"I was dead," she said as she tried to sit up. He was quick to act and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to sit upright and lean against him as she spoke. "I took too many pills and I  _died_."

"How do you know that?" he asked, feeling her take shaky breaths as she buried her face in his neck. "What did you see when you were dead?"

Pulling back a bit so she could see his face, Amriel shook her head and tried to process everything she had been told.

"He said his name was Chuck."

"Chuck? As in the  _prophet_?" Cas was confused. Neither he nor the Winchesters had heard anything from Chuck since Lucifer and Michael were put in the cage, and since Kevin Tran was a prophet, he assumed that meant the man was dead.

"He isn't a prophet, Cas. He didn't say outright, but I knew who he really was."

"Amriel, if it wasn't Chuck, who was it?" Castiel asked, sending her a look that said he wanted answers and he wanted them immediately.

"It was Chuck as you know him, but said he goes by other names," Amriel said and Cas stared at her with wide eyes, like he had just figured it out. "I spoke with God, Castiel."

His mouth dropped and he backed away, getting off of the bed and standing in the center of the room. He stared up at the ceiling, like he would see God if he looked hard enough, and he let out a loud sigh of frustration.

Amriel had no idea what to do in this situation, so she quietly watched as his neck began to turn a dark shade of red and he glared at the roof.

"You son of a bitch! I  **died**  protecting you from archangels and you couldn't even tell me that you were God? I looked everywhere-" he stopped himself suddenly and murmured a quiet, " _fuck it_."

Her eyes widened at the swear, and she saw that even Cas was surprised by the words that had come out of his mouth.

"He had so many opportunities to reveal himself to me, but he didn't," Castiel said quietly, sitting on the edge of the mattress and letting his head hang between his knees. Amriel remained silent and hesitated before finally setting her hand on his back, gently rubbing circles in an attempt to comfort him. "I don't understand."

"Cas, he told me to look out for you no matter what you choose to do as a human," she told him, thinking that he would calm down. "He also asked that I seek your help for my dependence on oxycodone."

"Yeah, we need to discuss that," he said, turning to face Amriel with a serious look. "I'm going to dispose of those pills. I don't care if I may need them if something happens to me- I don't want the temptation here for you."

Amriel nodded in understanding. She knew that she was out of control and after speaking with her Father, she knew that it had to stop.

"Amy is gone, Castiel." Her tone was soft and she seemed emotional, which was probably the first time he had heard that from her. "She couldn't handle the frequency and amount of pills I was ingesting and my grace wasn't enough to keep us both alive. Chuck said that she is in Heaven now."

Cas was confused- how were souls reaching Heaven when angels were locked out? She went on to explain what Chuck had told her, and he was glad that the souls were being allowed in rather than having to stick around on Earth and become vengeful spirits.

"I feel awful for being the reason she died. I promised that I would return her home to her family once Heaven was opened again and I promised that she would be safe." Amriel noticed that she was having difficulty speaking, but she continued anyways, ignoring the way her voice cracked. "I failed her, and now an innocent human is dead and I'm in her body."

Without saying a word, Castiel stood up and took her hand, pulling her off of the mattress and out into the kitchen. He motioned for her sit on the counter and she did without asking any questions.

"Where are the pills?" he asked, watching Amriel as she straightened her posture and nodded towards the cabinet he had hidden them in.

Castiel grabbed the bag and dumped them in the sink, running the water so they ran down the drain, and he tossed the baggie aside once it was empty.

"There. Now you cannot harm Amy's memory by ruining her body with drugs."

Amriel thanked him, smiling slightly and realizing that she felt different now that Amy wasn't inside the vessel with her.

"I'm going to have to figure out everything on my own now, aren't I?" she asked. "I can't refer to her memories when I come across strange human inventions or need to know how to interact with someone."

Cas shook his head, saying he had gone through the same thing when Jimmy Novak passed away. If Castiel could handle being inside of an empty vessel, Amriel knew that she could too, especially since she had him there with her to assure her that things would be all right.

"Everything will be okay, Amriel, I promise," he told her, a resolute look on his face and she nodded, hoping that he was right.

 


	7. Acting Different

Nearly a month had gone by and Amriel was humming some song she had heard on the radio as she stocked the shelves of the gas station. The past few weeks had been difficult for her as she dealt with the effects of withdrawal from her oxycodone habit. Cas had been helping her deal with her insomnia, aches and pains, and even some minor anxiety, and he took it all in stride, thankful that the symptoms weren't too severe since she was still an angel.

She and Castiel were on the same shift, which happened more often than not now. It was the middle of November and the Gas-N-Sip was bustling with families passing through town on their holiday travels. Cas was behind the counter, checking out a customer, and Amriel was glancing at him every once in a while as she hung up sour gummy worms and peach rings.

Cas had been acting different around her during the past week and a half. He had trouble finding things to say to Amriel that weren't related to Heaven or their tasks at the gas station, and when they did speak he felt awkward, but of course she didn't realize that.

Whenever they would walk to work or to the park together and their fingers would accidentally brush, Castiel would flinch away and his face would turn red. Amriel wondered if something was wrong with him. Maybe he was ill and just wasn't telling her.

One thing she did know was that the night she had spoken to Chuck, Cas had tried to call Dean Winchester to ask for help, and Dean never called back. She wondered if he was angry about that.

In regards to anger, she also noticed that whenever a male customer would speak to her, Castiel would include himself if he could, or just look at the man with a stone-like gaze that made Amriel feel uneasy. She had no idea what was going on and didn't know whether she should confront him or if it was just something humans did.

Cas watched as she went back into the store room to retrieve more things to stock, mesmerized, and he found that he was unable to take his eyes off of her. She was dressed in a pair of tight jeans, a simple black shirt, and the blue Gas-N-Sip vest, and she was stunning. He briefly wondered why he was watching her, realizing that he had been doing it more often. Cas could only image what Dean would say, but he hadn't heard from the Winchester since he had left the bunker, and that didn't sit well with him.

He stared down at the counter, wondering why he was so anxious around her all of a sudden. Castiel could barely even sleep with her so close to him at night. Every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire and he didn't know how to put it out. His hands were always sweaty and he thought that he might have some sort of human illness, but it only happened around Amriel.

Cas enjoyed her company and liked being around her, and of course he found her to be one of the most attractive beings he had gazed upon in Heaven or on Earth, but when he was an angel he never thought anything of it. All angels were beautiful and none were created to be better than another.

As he was contemplating, a loud crash came from the store room that was followed by a shriek that sounded like Amriel. Cas dropped a new receipt roll he had been installing and ran, filled with some unknown adrenalin and he didn't stop until he was in the small room.

Amriel stood with her blade drawn, breathing heavily as if she had just fought off an attacker. Her gray eyes were scanning the floor where items had fallen from a shelf, and Cas was relieved to see that she wasn't harmed and that no one else was in there with her.

"What's going on?" he asked, forcing Amriel to break her concentration on the floor to look up at him.

"Some sort of  _rodent_  was in the box I opened!" she told him in a serious voice, and Castiel let out a laugh. Amriel stared at him in confusion. "Don't rodents carry diseases?"

"I don't think people are too worried about that anymore," Cas said, watching her stance go from one of defense to something more normal. "It was probably a mouse- they find their way in here every once in a while."

A scurrying sound caught Castiel's attention and he saw a blur of brown fur in the corner of his eye. He leaned down and scooped up the small creature, cupping it in his hands and looking up at Amriel with a smile.

"Here, take a look," he insisted as he closed the small distance between them, watching as she gripped her blade tightly and sent him an apprehensive glance. "It won't hurt you, I promise."

"I know it won't," Amriel snapped defensively. "Now show me before it bites your hand."

Cas opened his hands slightly so Amriel could see the tiny mouse, its brown fur and big, dark eyes staring up at them as it breathed quickly. It was such a tiny creature and Amriel stared at it in wonder, still amazed by God's creations after all this time.

"Is it okay?" she asked, her tone softening as she watched it.

"It's just frightened. Let's go release it outside," Cas told her, and the two of them walked through the store and out into the parking lot towards a grassy spot nearby. He looked around for any imminent dangers before setting the mouse down and watching it sniff around before running away.

"There, now it can go back to its home," he smiled, noticing how quiet Amriel was and he turned to face her. The blonde was staring out in the direction the mouse had run, and Castiel said her name, bringing her attention back to him.

"I think I empathize with the mouse, lost and looking for its family and friends," she said sadly before a smile crossed her lips, her eyes lighting up as she gazed at the man before her. "I'm glad that I found you, Castiel."

Amriel turned and walked back into the gas station to clean up the mess in the store room, leaving Cas standing in the small field trying to sort out his feelings.

* * *

"Can I tell you something?" Amriel asked as she stared out the window of the coffee shop they were visiting. She and Castiel were seated at a table near the windows, watching normal humans go about their day, questioning their actions and wondering why they did the things they were doing.

It had been a couple of weeks since they set the mouse free, and Amriel was still learning about the nuances of human life. She knew that she would never totally master it, but part of humanity was realizing that she wouldn't be able to do everything.

Amriel wanted to experience more human things, so she begged Castiel to do them with her, and he couldn't say no to her big eyes and bright smile, so they participated in frivolous activities like bowling, reading at the library, and taking part in their first Thanksgiving, which consisted of turkey sandwiches, apple cider, and a pumpkin pie.

"You can tell me anything," Cas said, looking at her from his seat beside her at the small, round table and noticing how  _human_  she seemed in this environment. Her posture was a little more relaxed than it had originally been and she had one leg crossed over the other, her delicate fingers wrapped around her cup of hot chocolate. She was even wearing makeup, though not as much as the first time.

"In Heaven," she began, tilting her head up and smiling briefly at the thought of her home before her lips formed a line, "I saw you being punished for disobeying orders and helping the Winchesters."

Castiel tensed up across from her, not wanting to remember that day. He had been severely beaten to the point that he was near death, and it hadn't stopped until he vowed to obey the orders given to him in Heaven.

Of course his punishment had drawn a crowd; nearly all of Heaven's host had been there. His superiors wanted them to see what could happen to them if they didn't follow orders as well.

"When I saw what happened to you for wanting to help humans, especially with stopping the Apocalypse, something changed. I was curious…  _doubtful_  even, of what we were commanded to do." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to picture that day. "After that, I spent more time watching over my charges, intervening more. I took a vessel for a few days. My superiors found out and told me to stop, but I didn't, and so I was punished. They told me that I was  _broken_ , imperfect, unworthy of my duties. I thought I was going to be cast out."

His eyes widened and his stomach dropped at the thought of her being beaten the way he was. Amriel was  _good_  and she was helping people. Castiel had been punished for helping the Winchesters, who were seen as nuisances by some in Heaven.

"You were influenced by my actions?"

Amriel glanced up at him, curious as to why he sounded so upset by that. She watched his defeated expression, and she shook her head, not understanding why he looked like that. She would have disobeyed eventually, even without his influence. Like Chuck had said, they were similar in more ways than one.

"Seeing them rip out so many of your feathers made me realize that they were fearful that others would learn of their deceit- how they were giving false orders for their own gain," she frowned, clearly remembering his magnificent black feathers falling from Zachariah's fists as he pulled them from Castiel's back, and she remembered how Cas had remained silent through everything until that. She still remembered the  _awful_  sounds he had made, and she knew she would never forget. "I'm happy that your feathers came back in to match the ones they didn't remove."

"Yeah, well, I certainly miss them now," he told her, and taking one of her hands with his. "I'm just surprised that another angel broke ranks after what happened to me."

"Cas-" Amriel leaned forward slightly, something she saw other people do often when they tried to get a point across. "You were revered by some for what you did. Others began to question orders, but none acted. When war broke out, many were eager to side with you."

"And look how that turned out," he sighed. "I'm human and being hunted down."

"Yes, but now you have a choice to make. You can either live out the rest of your days as a human and die in forty or fifty years, or you can try to reclaim your grace and open the gates of Heaven." Amriel paused and took a sip of her drink, hoping that it had cooled down. "But do know that whatever you choose to do, I promise I will be right beside you."

Castiel stopped breathing and removed his hand from her grasp. He watched her shoot him the confused look that he had grown to like, and his lips formed a line on his face as he stared at her. In all of his existence, no one had truly stood beside him through everything.

His siblings hadn't, and when he needed him the most, Dean sent him packing as a defenseless human. Now Amriel was offering, no, promising to stand with him no matter what. He could trust her, he knew that for sure, and he realized that he needed her around.

"I appreciate that greatly, Amriel." His eyes finally met hers, taking in their brilliance and wondering how bright her grace was at that moment. He glanced down at her lips and felt himself drifting towards her. "I- would it be appropriate if I kissed you?"

He watched her entire body shift so she was facing him, her knees brushed against his and their feet touched. Her head was tilted in what must've been a signature "angel that doesn't understand" pose, one that Cas knew very well.

"Kiss? I've never kissed anyone before," Amriel felt a strange churning in her stomach and she wasn't sure what was happening. She thought it was called 'being nervous' but she couldn't be positive without Amy's memories to reassure her.

"I understand if you don't want to. I've done it before, so I could guide you…"

Castiel was certain this wasn't how it was supposed to go. He probably should've just done it instead of asking.  _"It's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission,"_ he had heard somewhere before.

"I've seen it in movies, and I've seen people do it at the gas station and in town. Could you explain the steps?"

"Um.. First, you close your eyes, then you have your lips like this," he showed her without realizing how foolish he looked. He was trying to think of the steps he had gone through when kissing Meg and the reaper. How sad- he had only ever kissed monsters. "Then you lean in and press your lips against the other person's, and go from there. It's a lot of-"

Before he could finish, Amriel leaned in and pressed her lips to his, quickly pulling away and opening her eyes.

"Like that?" she asked with a grin when she saw Castiel's face turn bright red.

"That's one way," he smiled before tangling his fingers in the hair at the back of her neck and pulling her close, kissing her the way he had seen the pizza man kiss the babysitter. It took a few seconds for Amriel to respond to what he was doing, and she began to move her lips with his, one of her hands moving to rest on top of his thigh while the other grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, keeping him from backing away.

Cas had to let up for air, and he finally parted from Amriel to see that her lips were dark pink and swollen. She smiled at him, dazed by what had just happened. He had done this to her, and he felt proud of himself.  _He_  made her smile like that, and Cas knew that he was probably wearing a similar expression. At that moment he was grateful that the coffee shop was practically empty, otherwise they would have been chastised for such public displays.

"I would like to take you on a date," he finally said after what felt like forever, and Amriel tilted her head curiously again.

"What exactly is a date?" Amriel asked, and Castiel explained that dates were activities done by two people who were interested in each other.

"To my understanding, a date can be many things. Humans go to dinner together or they see a movie or something else that is just between the two of them," he really was doing his best to describe a phenomenon he had only ever witnessed and never participated in.

"But we go to dinner and do things together all the time. Were those dates too?" She was confused, that much was obvious, and Cas shook his head and looked out the window and into the restaurant across the street.

"See the man and woman sitting at the table with the bottle of wine?" he pointed out a couple, watching as Amriel scanned the windows until her eyes locked onto them and she nodded. "They're probably on a date, I think. Actually I'm not sure. I have no idea how to do this."

Amriel looked from the couple to Castiel, noticing a defeated look on his face and she felt bad for him. He was doing his best with the knowledge he had and he looked disappointed with himself for not being able to describe the intricacies of a human ritual. Ever since Amy had died, Amriel experienced more emotions and she could process them better than she had before. It was strange, but the girl was having a much easier time feeling things like empathy.

"It's all right, Cas. Am I to understand that you are interested in dating me?" Amriel asked, watching his cheeks turn red for a reason she still didn't grasp.

"I- yes. While I value our friendship, I think that I'm attracted to you romantically. I don't know what to say to you or how to act and it's hard to concentrate on anything when you're around," Cas admitted and avoided all eye contact with Amriel as he spoke. "It took me a while to figure out- I'm new to this being human thing."

She looked at Castiel carefully as he faced forward and gazed out at the street before them. Amriel took in his profile and dark hair, knowing that he was attractive. She tried to remember Amy's memories of her relationships, because she had watched her entire life while on bus rides from town to town. Amy had several long-term boyfriends during her time, and Amriel vaguely remembered how Amy felt during those relationships. She realized that was probably how Cas felt around her.

"Let's go on a date then," she smiled, standing up from the table and pulling him with her, watching his face and neck turn red again. "Why does your face change colors whenever I touch you?"

"I'm not sure," Cas said as they began to walk towards the exit and out onto the town's Main Street, where most of the dining and shopping was. "I'll let you know when I figure it out though."


	8. Self Defense

The two sat across from one another and looked over the Mexican restaurant's menu as the waitress brought them their drinks. They had both ordered frozen margaritas, Amriel choosing a mango flavored one and Cas picking one that was mixed berry.

"I drank the contents of an entire liquor store once," Castiel told her as they waited for their beverages. He wanted to be the one that Amriel had her first alcoholic drink with, and the memory popped into his head.

"Seriously? How are you still alive?" she asked, her eyes wide. Amriel had been inside of a liquor store once to buy snacks, thinking it had been a convenience store. It was filled with thousands of bottles of alcohol. How had he managed to drink all of it?

"I was an angel at the time- searching for God had taken a toll on me and when I couldn't find him, I found the nearest liquor store and drank everything in sight. I got pretty drunk," Cas laughed, realizing that it had been stupid of him to drink so much.

When the waitress returned with the drinks, Amriel ordered something called enchiladas, which seemed interesting enough, while Cas chose flautas. He had never tried Mexican food before, and he had no idea what to expect when his order arrived. Cas had only ever had burgers when he went places with Sam and Dean, and he figured it was time to branch out.

"So this is an alcoholic drink?" Amriel stared down at her glass, inspecting the orange slush with a curious gaze.

"It has alcohol in it. Tequila, I believe. You can either drink alcohol alone or mixed with something else to make it taste better. It really doesn't have the greatest flavor by itself," he mused before taking a sip of his drink and enjoying the way it tasted.

Amriel mimicked his action and sipped through her straw, her eyes widening at the texture of her margarita. It was freezing cold and tasted sweet, and as she continued to drink she felt a sharp pain in her head. She groaned and pulled away from the glass, frowning at it as she rubbed her forehead.

"I think they call that  _brain freeze_ ," Castiel told her, a smile on his face as he watched her glare at him. "Don't worry, it's totally normal."

"Is the drink defending itself?" she asked, and Cas burst out laughing, unable to stop himself s his face turned bright red.

"Am- Amriel," he let out between gasps for air, trying to catch his breath. "Inanimate objects don't act in self defense."

Crossing her arms over her chest Amriel felt uncomfortable with Castiel laughing at her, even though she liked the way it sounded. She knew that she didn't understand everything that came with being human, but she knew she didn't like being laughed at. Amriel sent him a nasty look and he suddenly straightened up, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

"I'm sorry for laughing at you- it was incredibly rude of me." He nervously glanced down at his own drink and played with the napkin in his lap, totally unaware that he was participating in a completely human motion.

"It's okay, Cas. Let's talk about something else," Amriel smiled and she asked, "So do I get to kiss you at the end of this date?"

Caught off guard, Castiel choked as he tried to swallow his drink. She wasn't angry at him? Normally whenever Dean was upset he brooded for days or weeks. He wasn't used to such a quick turnaround, but he was pleased.

"You can kiss me whenever you want," he said with a smile on his face, unaware that he was beaming at her. "I definitely won't stop you."

Amriel shook her head as she picked at the things called tortilla chips that sat in a basket on the table, saying that they might have to practice later.

They spent the rest of their time at the restaurant eating their strange meals, deciding that they in fact did like Mexican food. Cas paid the bill, tossing his crumpled cash into the checkbook along with a few extra dollars for a tip. He remembered the Winchesters doing so on several occasions, and the two left just as the sun started to set.

"Is there a liquor store nearby?" Amriel asked, wrapping her scarf around her neck as they walked side by side. It had snowed earlier, and the ground was covered in slushy white powder. "I think I'd like to try different kinds of alcohol."

Cas thought about it for a few seconds, realizing that he hadn't seen one in all the time he had been in Rexford. He  _did_  know that they sold liquor at a convenience store a few blocks away. They sold it at the Gas-N-Sip as well, but he didn't want to buy it at his place of work.

"There's a mini mart down the street," he finally responded. "Are you sure about this?"

"I want to experience everything there is when it comes to being human, inebriation included," Amriel looked up at him as she leaned into his shoulder. "It seems fun, from what I've seen on television."

Castiel suddenly stopped and turned to face her, his bright eyes filled with a look she couldn't figure out and before she could open her mouth to ask what was going on, Cas leaned in and kissed her. When he went to pull away, Amriel grabbed the collar of his jacket and deepened their kiss, unaware that it wasn't completely acceptable to make out in the middle of a sidewalk.

An older woman that was passing by broke the pair apart with a loud cough. She sent a glare at Castiel, whom she had assumed was old enough to be her father. Cas stood up straight and took Amriel's hand, leading her down the street after sending a polite nod to the gray-haired woman.

He realized that yes, he actually was older than Amriel as an angel, but Jimmy Novak was 34 when Castiel had taken him as a vessel. Amriel had mentioned that Amy was 24 and could pass as a teenager, but as an angel she wouldn't age. Cas was going to grow older, and that both excited and frightened him.

On their way to the convenience store, Cas pulled Amriel down a narrow alley in order to cut through the block, and he thought nothing of his decision until he heard a pair of footsteps crunching through the snow, following them. Castiel stopped and Amriel ran into his back, not watching where she was going.

_"Give me your cash and no one gets hurt,"_  a rough voice came from behind them, and Amriel whipped around to see a man wearing a stained, tattered coat, jeans, and scuffed up boots wielding a knife. His dark, brown eyes were staring at the purse she had resting against her hip- it was a cross-body bag, according to Marissa, and Amriel felt that this man meant them harm.

"Get behind me," Cas whispered to her, moving to stand between Amriel and the man. "We don't want any trouble."

"Then give me the money! It'd be a shame if I had to cut up you or your little girlfriend," he sent a yellow-toothed grin towards Amriel, who was trying to hold in all of her rage towards this insignificant human being.

Cas pushed up his sleeves and dug through his pockets, fumbling to pull out the few single bills he had and he handed them over to the man, who quickly counted them.

"Eight dollars? Are you kidding me?" He glared at Castiel before looking over his shoulder to make eye contact with Amriel. "It's your turn, sweetie. Hand it over."

"She will do no such thing," Cas growled, moving towards the man to stop him from getting closer to the blonde. The man reacted quickly, slashing at Castiel's forearm with his small knife and eliciting a groan from the fallen angel.

The man pushed the stunned Cas aside easily now, and closed the small space between Amriel and himself, unaware that she had one of her hands behind her back.

"Now are you gonna give me whatever you got in your purse or are you gonna make me take it from you?" he asked, and she could smell the liquor on his breath as he stared down at her, his lifeless eyes unnerving her. He wasn't a demon, but he might as well have been.

"Neither," she hissed, revealing her angel blade and thrusting it up into his stomach, careful to miss any major organs. Amriel didn't want to kill him, after all, and she watched him fall to the ground, clutching his stomach in pain as he cried out, "You  _bitch!_ "

"Come on, let's go," Amriel took Castiel's hand, leading him out of the alley and down a few blocks as fast as they could go without drawing attention to themselves.

Once she felt like there was a safe distance between them and their attacker, Amriel pulled Cas into the back parking lot of a small motel not far from where they had eaten dinner. She pushed him against the wall gently and took his right arm, inspecting his wound with a frown. It was deep and trailed the length of his forearm. The cut was gushing blood at an alarming rate, Amriel could see that the color was draining from his face and his breath was coming out in quick puffs, creating small white mists of air, and she knew that she had to act.

"It's nothing, Amriel. We just have to stop the bleeding- it'll heal with time," he told her sadly, wishing he could just heal himself like he had always done.

"That human had ill intentions- he would've done much worse if he had the chance. Who knows what diseases that knife carried."

Amriel set her palm against his arm, as close to the wound as she could get without actually touching it, and she focused her grace and healed him. When she saw that his skin was smooth and perfect once more, Amriel smiled and she wavered, her head falling forward as she sagged against Castiel.

He could tell that she was unconscious, but that didn't stop Cas from calling her name and trying to wake her up. Healing him had drained her- why did she do that when the injury he sustained wasn't that serious?

Cas had no idea what to do besides wrap his arms around the unconscious Amriel and hold her against him. They were at a motel, so he could rent a room there- he had enough money on him. Of course he hadn't given that mugger all of the money he had, he learned from Dean to keep his cash in a safer place, like his sock. Castiel knew he couldn't carry her back to the abandoned house in this weather, so he decided that the motel would be the best choice at the moment.

Carrying Amriel in his arms like she was a sleeping child worked to his advantage. He cradled her against his chest as he walked into the motel lobby, making up an excuse of her being entirely too drunk to drive, and the woman at the front desk sped up the check-in process. The price per night was inexpensive, so Castiel paid for a few nights in advance and took the key, signing  _Steve Moscone_  in the ledger.

Once he opened the door to room 6, he flipped the light on and staggered inside, using his foot to shut the door with a loud thud. The room had one queen sized bed, an old, box set television, and a couch, among other typical motel furniture. He gently laid Amriel on the bed and sat down beside her after shedding his coat and tossing it on the couch. Cas pushed a few strands of hair out of her face, frowning deeply as he realized that this was the first time he had ever been healed by an angel.

"You shouldn't have done that," he mumbled bitterly, even though he knew he would have done the same thing in a heartbeat if she had been the one injured. Cas didn't know what to do with himself until she woke up, so he turned on the small TV and flipped through channels until he found something that seemed interesting enough.

Castiel positioned himself so he was sitting up against the pillows and headboard, wanting to stay awake until he was certain Amriel was okay. His eyes moved from the television to the blonde beside him, her hair fanned out across the pillow he had set underneath her head to keep her comfortable, and he noticed how serene she looked. There wasn't a trace of sadness or loneliness on her face and he never wanted her to feel that way again, especially since she had done so much for him.

Before Amriel showed up, Cas felt exactly how she did. Lost, alone, and hopeless. Maybe it was the presence of another fallen angel, or just Amriel herself, but he didn't feel that emptiness anymore. He was more inclined to think that it was Amriel's doing, because when he had come across Hael he felt nervous and on edge, and she ended up trying to steal his vessel. No, he knew it was definitely because of Amriel.

In Heaven she had been known throughout the angels as kind and generous. Amriel would fulfill other's duties when they could not, and she never asked anything in return. She watched over her charges as well as those born in late April or early June that were on the cusp of Asmodel and Muriel's guard.

He had heard whispers of her small rebellion but he was still surprised when she had told him. Castiel suddenly gasped, realizing that they were unprotected in this motel room and he jumped up, looking around for something to write with. He found a ball point pen, but that wouldn't be sufficient for what he needed, so he took a look at Amriel and when he was certain she wouldn't wake while he was gone, he slipped out the door and into the cold, heading to the convenience store to buy salt and chalk.


	9. Cold

Amriel woke up with a start, realizing that she was in a strange place on a bed that wasn't the one she had been sleeping on for the past two months. The room is dim and she can hear the low murmur of voices along with something she couldn't place. She sat up and glanced around, first spotting a TV that was playing some show where women were yelling at each other, and then she saw Castiel in the corner of the room, facing the wall as he drew Enochian sigils with some white writing utensil.

"Cas?" she called out, watching him whirl around and a seeing look of relief cross his face. He set down the chalk and made his way over to the bed, where he sat on the edge of the mattress and looked her over. He set one of his hands on the side of her face, his thumb tracing her cheek gently as he smiled down at her, glad she was finally awake.

"You were unconscious for three hours, Amriel. I couldn't carry you back to the house, so I checked us into this motel," he explained, unable to take his eyes off of hers. "You didn't have to use your powers to heal me- I would've been fine."

The blonde looked almost offended at the thought of just letting him heal on his own when she had the power to fix him. Amriel took the hand that was on her face and held it between both of hers, feeling how warm and rough it was as she shook her head.

"I couldn't let you suffer any pain, no matter how trivial you think it is. As long as I have the ability to heal you, I will," she told him in a firm voice, and he knew it was no use arguing with her.

"Then thank you. I wasn't sure of what powers the fallen angels could use." He reluctantly moved out of her grasp and went back to drawing sigils. "I'll have to keep it in mind if we come across any of our siblings."

"I try not to use them unless I need to," Amriel said as she looked around the motel room more carefully now. "I haven't done it in so long that I guess I over exerted myself. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Just don't do it again," he said with a laugh, letting her know that he was joking with her, but also serious at the same time. "While you were asleep, I thought about something that I'd like to discuss with you. I believe it's time for us to leave that abandoned house. It's far too cold outside for us to stay much longer. The electricity doesn't work and I have no idea when the water will be shut off- truthfully, it's been on for far too long. Would you like to stay here indefinitely? I think we have enough money, and it's pretty inexpensive."

Amriel looked around the room and noticed the couch, small desk and chair, and the kitchenette with a refrigerator, stove, and oven. Maybe she and Castiel could figure out how to cook something other than what they made in the microwave at the gas station. She assumed that combined they would have enough money to stay here, and so she decided that it would be a good idea.

"Let's do that then. Can we return to the house and get our things, though?" She watched Cas glance at the alarm clock beside the bed and furrow his eyebrows before he nodded.

"Yes, we can get them tonight. The snow has stopped for now, are you well enough to go?"

Once Amriel nodded, Castiel said that they would leave as soon as he finished a few more sigils. While he did that, the blonde looked over the ones he had already completed and was pleased to see some she had used at the house that he had complimented.

"Okay, let's get going then," Cas said when he finished, grabbing the motel key and his cell phone. Amriel followed him out of the room and they went to the lobby, where Castiel talked to the woman behind the desk and told her that they would be checking in indefinitely.

Amriel liked living in this motel. It had been two weeks and at first she had found it strange and confining, much like her vessel, but she liked having working heat, electricity, and even a television so she could learn more about humans through their media.

She and Cas would cook things on the stove and so far they had only set off the fire alarm once, and they watched game shows like Jeopardy! whenever they weren't working the night shift. Amriel found that they were quite good at the history questions, but they did horribly at any category pertaining to culture. She liked having the television on all the time- the constant sounds and chattering reminded her of Heaven, and it was comforting.

Cas was currently asleep in bed and Amriel had showered and gotten ready for her morning shift as quietly as she could so she wouldn't wake him. He had been lethargic lately and he seemed to be coughing a lot for the past two days. Amriel was worried about him, but of course Cas waved it off like it was nothing.

He had walked back from the gas station in a snow storm, having forgotten to bring gloves or a hat with him, and after that he had been less than healthy and Amriel didn't know what to do about it. Maybe she would ask Nora about illnesses when she was at work.

Slipping on her shoes and picking up her phone, Amriel sat on the edge of the bed beside Castiel and shook his shoulder gently.

"Cas," she said softly, watching as he began to stir. He rolled onto his back and rubbed his face, but his eyes were still closed. Amriel frowned and said in a firm voice, "Castiel."

"Hm?" he asked, blinking a few times until she came into focus. Cas stared up at her, wondering if he was still dreaming. She was wearing a dark purple shirt that complimented her hair and the blue gas station vest, and she looked absolutely ethereal.

"Are you okay?" Amriel looked at him curiously and pressed her hand against his forehead like she had seen on medical shows. He seemed warmer than he normally was, and his face was flushed as he yawned.

"I'm fine, Elle, just tired…" his groggy voice trailed off and Amriel's breath caught in her throat. What did he just call her? Was this a nickname, like how she called him Cas?

"You are ill- I'll see if I can get you medicine before I leave work. Text me if you need anything and I will return as soon as I can."

Amriel pressed a kiss to his forehead and she saw a brief smile cross his lips before his eyes closed again and she knew it was time to leave.

"Hello Nora," the angel smiled four hours into her shift, when her manager walked in through the front doors appearing for the first time that day. Amriel had been refilling the ice in the soda machine, so she had a good vantage point over the store from the top of a step stool.

"Hi Amy. You haven't heard from Steve today have you? I tried calling him but he didn't pick up," Nora said as she walked over to her employee, taking the empty bucket from her hands so she could get down safely.

"Oh, yeah actually. He told me that he's sick, so I offered to take his shift tonight and tomorrow. I told him I'd bring over some cold medicine during my break since he shouldn't be leaving his house."

Nora didn't know that her employees were actually staying together, but she was glad to hear that he had a place of his own. She had been worried about him for a while, and once Amy showed up it seemed like he was doing better. Nora could tell that there was something going on between Steve and Amy, though. She saw the way he looked at her, entranced by every move she made, though she wasn't sure if Amy felt the same way. Nora shook her head- she was thinking into it way too much.

"Why don't you go now? I'm sure you could use a break anyways," Nora moved down the aisle containing medicine and grabbed a box of strong cold meds, then she took a few of those microwaveable soup cups too and put them in a bag for Amy. "Take these for him and tell Steve I said to feel better."

Amriel took the bag and thanked Nora for letting her go, and the older woman said it was nothing. Nora watched the girl grab her coat and shrug it on over her vest, wrapping her scarf around her neck a few times and zipping her jacket so she was bundled up.

"Come back in like an hour. Have some lunch while you're gone. I'll watch the store."

The former angel nodded and left the gas station, trudging through the slush for about ten minutes until she got to the motel. She walked into the room and closed the door behind her gently, looking up to see that Cas wasn't in bed where she had left him.

"Castiel?" she called out, her gray eyes frantically searching the small room for any trace of him. She noticed that light poured out from underneath the closed bathroom door and the water was running from the shower, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

Tossing the bag onto the bed and kicking off her shoes, Amriel knocked on the bathroom door and cracked it open just barely, making sure she didn't invade his privacy, something they had talked about extensively after she walked in while he was showering once before.

"Cas, are you okay in there?"

The man peeked out from behind the blue shower curtain, his hair soaked and skin red from the hot water, and he stared at Amriel for a split second before nodding.

"I'm fine," he rasped, his throat aching as he spoke. "Give me a minute?"

Amriel did just that and shut the door, deciding that she was going to heat up the soup Nora had given her. Reading directions seemed easy enough, so Amriel followed the instructions and removed the plastic film underneath the lid, replaced the lid, and stuck it in the microwave for a designated amount of time. She figured that it would be ready to eat by the time Castiel got out of the shower and dressed, so she looked around for the plastic spoon she made sure to bring for him.

The microwave dinged and Amriel knew better than to grab something immediately after it finished in the device. She had burned her fingers several times in the past two weeks and she wasn't going to again.

When Cas finally appeared from the steamy bathroom, he emerged wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants and nothing else. Amriel glanced up to look at him and her eyes widened slightly at the sight of his exposed upper body- she noticed there was an Enochian protection sigil on his lower stomach in black ink and squinted at it briefly, realizing that was why she hadn't been able to locate him when they had been separated in a grocery store once.

She quickly looked down at the floor, feeling a warmth spread through her for some reason. Cas walked over to the dresser that the TV sat on, which was right in front of where Amriel was sitting, and went into his designated drawer, grabbing a shirt and pulling it on.

"How are you feeling?" Amriel asked, busying herself with the box of medicine and reading the instructions on that as well, trying to get the image of his damp skin and toned body out of her mind.

"Like I'm in a fog. I can't breathe and my throat hurts, but the shower helped a bit," he shrugged, turning and leaning against the dresser. "What's that?"

"Cold medicine. Nora sent me here to make sure you take some and get better soon, which reminds me…" Amriel got up and opened the microwave, hesitantly touching the side of the container before picking it up. "She told me that you need to eat soup. Apparently it's comforting?"

Once she took the lid off she handed him the cup along with a spoon, then she went about opening the package of medicine and popping two pills out of the foil.

"You need to take two every four hours," she told him in a firm voice as she handed him the capsules. Amriel made sure he took them, watching carefully as he swallowed the pills with a swig of water.

"Amriel, you didn't have to do this," Cas said tiredly, taking his first spoonful of soup and bringing it to his lips, sipping at it carefully. The blonde rolled her eyes, knowing it was something she had seen both Castiel and characters on television doing constantly.

"I want to help you, especially after everything you've done for me. Just eat your soup and go back to sleep. I told Nora that I have taken your shift today and tomorrow."

Cas opened his mouth to argue, but once he realized that it would only make his throat ache even more, he nodded. The room was silent save for the sounds of what was called a "soap opera" playing on the TV, and Amriel watched Castiel carefully as he ate, making sure he was going to be okay. She wondered if she could heal him of something like a common cold, but she was sure he wouldn't let her after what happened the last time.

"Maybe if you're better by the weekend, we can go buy liquor and see how much it takes to get me drunk," Amriel offered as an incentive, wondering if it would encourage him to take the medicine and get rest.

They hadn't had any alcohol since their first date, despite having been on two more since then. She enjoyed these dates, especially since they made her feel closer to Castiel for some reason. Was that the point of them? She wasn't exactly sure, but it seemed like that was their purpose.

Castiel made an "mm" sound, agreeing with her as he continued to wolf down the soup. He had no idea chicken and noodles in salty broth could taste so amazing, and it made his throat feel much better than it had before. He wondered how food could make his entire body feel warm from the inside out, and he filed that question away for the next time he saw Dean. If he ever did see Dean again, that was.

They sat together until Amriel had to leave, and as she tied the laces of her shoes, she realized that she really didn't want to go and leave Cas here all by himself. She knew that he would probably just sleep the entire time, but she wanted to watch over him in case he needed her.

"I'll be back late tonight. I'm closing the store," she told him once he was back in bed, "Please let me know if you need anything."

He nodded in response and Amriel kissed his forehead before pressing a quick kiss to his lips and smiling when his eyes widened and a small grin spread across his face.

"Bye, Cas," she whispered softly, brushing his damp hair out of his face and returning to her full height, grabbing her things and walking out the door.


	10. Gifts

The next time Castiel woke up, it was because he heard his cell phone ringing from somewhere nearby. He sat up and blinked, his eyes adjusting to the fact that the sun had set hours ago, and he looked for his phone. Cas finally found it and saw that Dean was calling. His eyes widened as he wondered what he should do. If he answered it, he would have to talk for a lengthy period of time and it would hurt his already aching throat, but what would happen if he didn't?

Cas decided to let it ring until it went to voicemail, and he took another dose of medicine before getting back into bed and finding a TV show that could hold his attention while he waited for Amriel to return from work.

His phone beeped, letting him know that he had a message, so he held the phone up to his ear and frowned as Dean's voice filtered through the tiny speaker.

_"Hey Cas, it's me. I know that you called a while ago and I probably shoulda called back as soon as I could, but I was busy. Anyways, I wanted to check up on ya- see how things are going with you being all human and crap. Don't make me come find you."_

Shaking his head, Cas hung up the phone and tossed it onto the bedside table. Typical Dean. Apologizing and threatening him in the matter of two sentences. He was in no condition to be dealing with the Winchester, so Castiel pushed the message to the back of his mind as he focused on the show he was watching.

He didn't want to think about what would happen if Dean suddenly showed up. Of course, the Winchester would probably only come if he needed help, and that would most likely entail Castiel leaving town and going on the road. He didn't want to leave, though. Cas liked it here- he liked the people he met while working at the gas station, he liked his menial job and that he had a roof over his head.

Most of all, Cas liked the fact that he spent all of his time with Amriel. Dean wouldn't take kindly to her, Cas knew that much. After everything the Winchesters had gone through when it came to angels, Dean would try to kill her before he even got a chance to explain that he cared for her and that she was not to be harmed.

Not like Dean would respect his wishes- not after what had happened with opening Purgatory and everything after that. Dean might have told him that he was over it and that he forgave him for his lies and treachery, but Cas knew that deep down Dean would never let it go, no matter how he tried to fix it and make things better.

Castiel sighed, finding that he could breathe a bit easier thanks to the pills he had been taking- modern medicine truly was a wonderful thing. He glanced to the door and the salt line he had laid hours ago, wondering when Amriel would return from the gas station.

* * *

Two days later, Castiel woke up feeling much better. He had slept most of the time, only waking to take medicine and eat soup, when he felt like it or if Amriel pushed it on him. She was rather persistent and believed that it would really help, so Cas indulged her.

Amriel had taken over his shifts at the Gas-n-Sip and he was more than thankful for that. He didn't know how she did it- he had worked all day and night before and it left him exhausted. But he could tell that she had been a little worn down when she left that morning. Her motions were less fluid and she had dropped her hairbrush in the bathroom, which woke Castiel up and prompted him to take another dose of medicine.

It was bright out, so he figured it was late morning or early afternoon. The sound of a key scraping in the lock and the door opening meant that she was back, and Castiel felt excitement building up in his chest. He thought she was going to be working late today.

"You're awake," she mused, laying a fresh line of salt before setting the motel key on the desk and taking off her coat. "I figured you'd be out for at least a few more days."

Cas shrugged, staring up at her from his position laying in bed, tucked beneath the covers. "I've been known to exceed expectations."

Amriel laughed and told him that Nora had sent her home for the day.

"I think she felt  _guilty_  that I had been working from open to close for the past three days," she said as she pulled off her blue vest, putting it in her dresser drawer. "That's the word, right? Guilty?"

Once he confirmed her word choice, she continued. "Anyways, Nora told me to take the next two days off. We both have to be back on Monday though."

"That's nice of her," Cas muttered as he sat up, watching Amriel run her fingers through her long hair. Suddenly everything he had been thinking about vanished and all he could see was her reflection in the mirror that sat on the wall above the desk she was standing in front of.

She said something, though he didn't quite catch it. He was too busy admiring his view, as she was wearing a pair of dark gray leggings and a black, form fitting top that revealed a little more of her chest than he was used to seeing. He felt embarrassed by his appearance, knowing that he must've looked like such a mess. Was he feeling unworthy? He had no idea, but Amriel had turned around and was staring at him expectantly.

"Uh, what?" he asked, blinking a few times and she rolled her eyes.

"I asked if you were feeling better. I guess not, though, judging by how distant you seem."

"No, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something else. I feel much better," he sent her a smile and she crossed the room in a few long strides, pressing her hand against his forehead.

"You are no longer above normal temperature, so I think that's good," Amriel flashed him a pleased look, telling him that he appeared much better physically as well. "Marissa came by the gas station and asked if I'd go see her once I was off work. Would you like to come?"

Castiel knew that this Marissa girl worked at a store called  _The Grove_ , and he had seen her when she would frequent the gas station looking for Amriel. The girl seemed nice enough and he didn't think she had any ulterior motives, so he nodded, saying that it'd be good to get out of the stuffy motel room and out into the frigid air.

"Good! I'm sure you want to shower and change, so take your medicine and get to it. She's quite impatient," Amriel laughed as she sat on the bed, laying against her pillows and closing her eyes. "I'll be here, resting my eyes."

She seemed to like colloquial phrases, and was constantly trying them out when she spoke with Castiel, who could only laugh and shake his head when she used them incorrectly. Not that he was much better, but he still enjoyed seeing her cheeks flush a soft pink when he corrected her.

When Cas was done in the shower and dressed for their outing, Amriel was still in the same spot she had been when he left the room. He gently shook her shoulder and her eyes shot open, glancing around for any sign of trouble. Amriel got up and grabbed her scarf off of the table before digging into her purse and holding something behind her back, out of Castiel's sight.

"So I got you a present today," she told him, unable to keep a smile off of her face.

"You did?" Castiel had never been given a present before. Actually, no one had ever given him anything without a reason. Bobby Singer gave him a shotgun when he was powerless, and that was so he wouldn't be completely useless.

"Yeah! Now, I believe you're supposed to close your eyes and hold out your hands in order to receive said gift." Amriel watched him and once she was certain his eyes were closed, she set the small item in his outstretched palms. "It's not much, but I thought it could be useful to you. You may open your eyes."

Castiel peeked down to see that she had given him a pair of sunglasses that weren't all that different from the ones she had bought for herself from the gas station. They were wire framed and the lenses were practically mirrors- he could see himself staring down at them and he looked enthused.

"I remember you said that people wear them to protect their eyes from the sun. Snow is highly reflective and I worry about you," she said, watching him try them on and Amriel was pleased. "They look good!"

She moved out of the way so he could see himself in the mirror, and he actually didn't mind his appearance. Not that he really cared how he looked, but if Amriel was happy, so was he. He hadn't seen many people wearing sunglasses out around town, just a few at the gas station, so he figured he wouldn't be too out of place if he wore them.

"Thank you for being so thoughtful," Cas said, taking them off and hanging them from the collar of his t-shirt before he put on his sweatshirt and jacket. Amriel smiled, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, feeling the slight stubble that resided there. He hadn't shaved in a few days, but she certainly didn't mind.

"C'mon, let's go before Marissa sends me a dozen texts." Amriel grabbed his hand and slung her purse over her shoulder, pulling him out of their motel room and locking the door behind them.

* * *

Amriel and Cas walked into the warm store and found Marissa sitting at the register, filing her long nails and chewing a piece of gum, snapping it loudly. The redhead looked up as the pair entered and her jaw dropped, the gum nearly falling out of her mouth at the sight of the blonde girl holding hands with the older man. But Marissa couldn't lie, Steve was hot. Like, if she was into older guys she would hit him up in a heartbeat. But alas, she had a thing for bad boys.

"Amy, you brought your boyfriend! It's nice to finally see you two together," Marissa laughed, taking in his blue jacket with a zipped up red hoodie underneath, jeans, and boots, wondering why men lacked a sense of style. "Hi Steve."

"Hello Marissa," he nodded, looking around the store and taking in the vast amount of clothing that filled the small space.

"So, you asked me to come here once I got off work. Steve has been sick for the past few days, so I thought he could use some fresh air. I hope it's okay that he came with me…"

Marissa shrugged and said it was fine with her. "A lot of dudes think shopping is boring, so more power to you if you found one that likes tagging along. Anyways- we got this dress in today for spring and it has your name all over it."

Amriel watched as the girl grabbed a hanger from a nearby rack and held up a coral colored dress that looked way too small to be a dress for her frame.

"That? Are you sure?" she took the hanger and inspected it closely, not noticing that Castiel had disappeared from her side to look through the racks of men's clothes the store had available.

"Positive. I'm sure Steve will love it on you just as much as he'll love taking it off," Marissa winked, and Amriel realized that she was suggesting something sexual.

"Oh, no- Marissa- We haven't-  _I_  haven't-" Amriel was stuttering and she felt her entire body heat up. She felt what she realized was embarrassment, and she was almost certain that her face was bright red.

Marissa's eyes widened and she grinned. "Oh my God! You've never had sex?"

Amriel covered her face with her free hand, unhappy with how this conversation was going.

"Amy, don't be embarrassed! C'mon. Let's get you into this dress and have some girl talk." Marissa took Amriel's hand and dragged her back to the dressing rooms, all but pushing her in and closing the curtain behind her.

The fallen angel carefully pulled on the dress, unsure if she would rip the fabric. When it didn't tear and she thought that it was in place, Amriel looked in the mirror and shook her head. She wasn't going to wear this  _anywhere_.

It was far too tight and didn't even reach her fingertips when her hands were at her sides, something Marissa had told her to be aware of. Instead of having sleeves it had finger-width straps that showed too much of her shoulders. It was made of a fabric that was soft and flexible, and it formed to her body well. The neckline was also something Amriel took offense to- it was a u-shape that revealed more than she would like, and she had told Marissa this before.

"Are you done in there? I have a pair of shoes that I think will go with it," Marissa's voice came from right outside, startling Amriel, who pulled back the curtain and frowned.

"This isn't appropriate whatsoever!" Amriel hissed, setting her hands on her hips to convey her annoyance, much like she had seen characters on TV do.

"You look  _hot_ , Amy! Here, put these on. Turquoise stilettos aren't something we get in the store very often," the human handed her a pair of shoes that had a heel that looked like a weapon. Amriel took them with a look of distaste, but put them on regardless.

The shoes added almost four inches to Amriel's height, and now the girl realized that she had a higher vantage point.  _This might not be too bad_ , she thought to herself before she took a step and nearly fell over, but Marissa quickly reacted and set both hands on her shoulders, steadying her.

"It takes a little practice, but you get used to it," she laughed. "I knew anything body con would look great on you… It's way sexier than that black dress you have."

"This isn't something I should be wearing! It's immodest," Amriel whined moving a couple more steps and getting a feel for the shoes. "Can I please change back into my clothes now?"

"No!" Marissa snapped. "C'mon, this dress looks great on you, and in a second you can go see how Steve likes it. But first, I wanna ask you something."

Amriel eyed her curiously, taking in her serious tone and realizing that she was trying to be a good friend.

"So, you've never had sex. But you like Steve, don't you?"

The blonde nodded, "Yeah. I like him a lot-."

"He seems like a good guy, Amy, but he also seems clueless and way too nice. If you wanna take things to the next level, wear this and you'll have him doing whatever you want, like a siren luring men to their deaths at sea."

"I- I'm not a siren. They haven't existed for centuries," Amriel said, making Marissa laugh, her green eyes lighting up with mirth.

"You definitely are when it comes to him, I can tell. Now, go on out there and ask what he thinks."

Amriel shrugged and slowly walked out into the store, seeing that Castiel was turned away from her, looking through a rack of dress shirts.

"Hey Steve," she called out, aware that her voice sounded unsure and cautious.

Cas turned around immediately, finding Amriel standing fifteen feet away, wearing a pinkish-red dress that looked absolutely amazing on her. She appeared to be a little taller, and a glance down to her feet confirmed that she was wearing shoes with a higher heel. He put the shirt he had been holding back on the rack and approached her, unaware that Marissa was watching the entire time.

"You look stunning," he told her, unable to take his eyes off of the dress and how it complimented every part of her it touched. "How can a simple piece of fabric make you look more beautiful than you already are?"

"I always thought clothes were meant to keep people covered and decent," Amriel mumbled, smoothing out a non-existent wrinkle. She was almost Castiel's height now, but she was still just a bit shorter and she wondered if there were shoes that were higher than the ones she was wearing now.

"Are you going to purchase it?" Cas asked and she shook her head.

"It's too provocative. Marissa thinks it's a good fit but I don't think it's appropriate."

At this point, Marissa interrupted and asked, "Steve, did you see anything you liked?"

She smirked when she saw his blue eyes dart to her friend before replying that he didn't find anything for himself.

"I'd like to buy the dress and shoes for Amy, though. She's taken care of me while I've been sick, and what better way to is there show my appreciation than to buy her a gift."

Marissa smiled at his sentiment, kinda angry that she thought he was only after a younger girl for the sake of being able to say he had a younger girlfriend. Steve wasn't your average guy, she could tell.

"Cool! I'll ring you up while Amy changes, how does that sound?"

Amriel suppressed a groan as she trudged back into the fitting room and slipped out of the dress and shoes, pulling on her leggings and various layers of clothes. She zipped up her boots and exited the small room to find Marissa staring Castiel down with a hard look.

"Don't mess things up with Amy," she threatened the man. "And make sure you use protection! She's a good girl and doesn't need to be  _tainted_  by someone that doesn't appreciate her."

Cas handed Marissa the cash for the purchase, slightly confused, and said, "I appreciate her more than anyone could ever understand."

"Good," she nodded before looking over his shoulder to Amriel. "I'll see you in a few days. Pedicures?"

"Pedicures," Amriel repeated, a hint of uncertainty in her voice but she agreed regardless.

The pair left the store and Amriel shot him a glare as she put on her sunglasses, telling him that she didn't want him to buy the dress for her. He saw that her cheeks were flushed and he knew it wasn't because of the cold- she was angry with him.

"Humans wear clothing like that even if they don't look good in it- you've seen those fashion shows. But it looks magnificent on you, Amriel, so why not buy it? Take pride in yourself," he said, not realizing that he was telling an angel to be prideful of her appearance, something that was frowned upon in Heaven.

"Just shut up, Castiel," she snapped, tossing the bag to him and walking down the street towards the small convenience store she had been wanting to visit.

"What are we doing in here?" Cas asked as they walked up and down aisles, Amriel's gray eyes scanning the shelves, looking for something. "Are you trying to buy alcohol?"

"Yeah. I thought that if you were feeling better tomorrow, we could see how much it takes for me to become intoxicated. I've been wanting to for a while, but you got sick…" She found it hard to be upset with him when he was standing so close to her and looking at her the way he was.

Cas sighed and led her toward the back of the store, where an entire wall was stocked with different types of liquor.

"What do you suggest?" Amriel looked over her shoulder to Castiel, who was busy taking in the contents of the shelves. He stepped forward and picked up a large, clear bottle with a blue label that read  _Nikolai_ , and he showed it to her.

"This. Sam once told me this is the vodka college students drink and while it's strong, it apparently tastes like rubbing alcohol." He spotted a bottle of whiskey and picked that up as well. "This is what Sam and Dean drink. It's very potent. We should buy these."

Amriel nodded, still glancing over the shelves until she saw a bottle that caught her eye. She picked up some Bacardi 151 and read over its label as well as the Nikolai, realizing that it was actually stronger.

"We'll get the three of these. You mentioned that you can mix these with other drinks?"

Cas nodded, but he knew that she would probably end up just drinking it straight. He, on the other hand, would need something to dilute it, so they grabbed a carton of orange juice and a six-pack of beer, just in case he didn't want to drink liquor, before heading to the checkout counter.

He realized that at the gas station, he was supposed to ask young looking people for identification to confirm their age when buying alcohol or cigarettes, and he wondered if they would ask here. As Amriel purchased the liquor, the woman running the register looked from her to Castiel and nodded, accepting her money and giving her the shopping bags.

Relieved because he would have felt inappropriate using Jimmy Novak's driver's license, Cas followed Amriel out of the store and back to the motel, where she hung up the dress in the closet and put the shoes on the floor beneath them, beside Castiel's sneakers.

"Sorry for how I acted after you bought me these things," she said quietly, avoiding his gaze and sitting on the small sofa. Amriel hadn't meant to snap, but she did, and now she felt bad. "I was being irrational and I apologize."

"It's fine, everyone does it. It's a part of being human," he shrugged, sitting beside her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "But, when we drink tomorrow, you should wear the dress and what were they called? Eels? You can practice for when the weather is warmer and you can wear them out to dinner."

"High  _heels_ , Cas," Amriel laughed, leaning into him and moving her legs so they rested on top of his. "I think that's a fair trade."

"Good. Now, what would you like to do now? We've been on our grand adventure today, so I imagine you'd want to stay here."

Cas knew Amriel all too well. She did love to explore their surroundings, but she either liked to go out for long periods of time or not go out at all. She didn't see the point of leaving for a few minutes, returning to the motel, and then leaving again, especially with how cold it had been outside. Amriel hated removing her coat constantly, and Cas couldn't blame her. It  _was_  tedious to deal with winter clothing. Spring was almost here, though, and then they wouldn't have to worry about it.

"Oh, I don't know… I think I want to sit here kissing you. I could use the practice," she flashed him a smile he identified as coy, and Castiel stifled a laugh.

"That's something I can spend hours doing," he barely had time to finish his sentence before he felt Amriel's soft lips on his, and then their conversation was put on hold.


	11. Together

"Okay, so, I just keep drinking until I feel something?" Amriel asked, now wearing her new dress and the high heels that put her at a closer height to Castiel's lips, so it was easier for her to kiss him.

"Yeah," he said, pulling out a couple of small glasses that the motel supplied and the cold orange juice for himself, watching her open the bottle of 151. "We'll keep track on a pad of paper."

Amriel was excited to say the very least. She had wanted to do this since Cas told her he drank an entire liquor store. But that was when he had been a full angel. She wasn't nearly as powerful, so she didn't think it would take anywhere that much.

Cas opened a cold beer and took a swig- they had just eaten dinner, so he knew that he wouldn't become inebriated as quickly as he would on an empty stomach. Amriel, on the other hand, poured herself a generous glass of the rum and held her drink out in a toast, like she had seen in movies.

"Cheers?" she asked, unsure if that was the proper term, and Castiel nodded, tapping his beer against her cup. "Cheers."

Cas sipped at his drink slowly, watching Amriel as she practically chugged hers, setting the glass down when it was empty and letting out a quiet hiss.

"That certainly… burns?" She glanced up to him as she rubbed her chest to try and make the feeling stop. She wondered if she was explaining it correctly and when Cas shrugged and refilled her glass, she figured she was.

"It certainly has a distinct taste. That's one," Cas marked down a tally on the tiny pad of motel paper using the pen that came with it as well. He had written her name at the top of it in messy handwriting, realizing it was one of the first things he had penned in English in a very long time.

Half of the bottle of 151 was now gone, and Amriel was still speaking coherently. While Castiel had only consumed two beers before he started to feel dizzy, Amriel was busy pouring her seventh drink and quickly downing it.

"I don't think this is working. Maybe I need to try drinking more at a faster rate…" She downed another two drinks quickly, and Cas marked down another two tallies.

"Alcohol takes some time to hit you, Elle, maybe you should slow down," Cas mumbled, watching her take a long swig straight out of the bottle. Should he count that in his total?

"There it is again," she said as she set the bottle down. "You've been calling me Elle. Is that a nickname?"

"Yeah," he nodded, watching as she emptied the bottle into her glass. "It suits you better than Amy. Do you not like it?"

She furrowed her brows in thought and Castiel suddenly found himself worried. What if he had been calling her that and she didn't want him to?

"I like it more than Amy," she told him with a smile. Amriel honestly preferred it when Cas called her by her actual name, but for some reason she liked that he made up a moniker for her. It was meant for her and her alone, which was something she had never experienced in Heaven.

Amriel had finished off the bottle of rum and opened up the plastic Nikolai bottle. She took a sip and coughed, her eyes screwing shut and a burning sensation worse than the rum spread through her chest.

"This is absolutely  _foul_. Where's that orange juice?" She got up from her seat on the couch, setting the bottle back on the table and heading towards the refrigerator, swaying slightly as she walked.

"Are you sure you don't feel anything yet? You seem to be walking differently." Castiel watched as she leaned over and peered into the fridge- he found himself staring at her small figure and he wanted nothing more than to feel her body against his. That dress hugged her form, leaving little to the imagination and her legs were long and lean, and he wondered what it'd be like to have them entangled with his. Cas had only had sex once, but he had been imagining it with Amriel more and more lately and he wasn't sure why.

"I think it's these shoes- they're not very stable on carpet," Amriel said as she pulled out of the fridge with the carton of juice. "I should probably just take them off."

Amriel lifted one foot while trying to balance on the other, and with the juice in her left hand she tried to take off one of her shoes. Stumbling, she clattered to the floor and Cas was up and at her side in a matter of seconds.

"I think you're a little drunk," Cas said with a laugh, picking up the orange juice and setting it on top of the fridge before leaning down and helping Amriel up off of the ground. He picked her up and deposited her on the small kitchen counter, removing both of her shoes and letting them fall to the floor with a thud.

"Maybe just a little," she nodded, noticing that she was now eye level with him as she sat on the counter. "Come here, Castiel."

Cas had been busy returning the orange juice to the fridge when she called for him, and he was quickly in front of her, admiring the way her hair fell over her shoulders and nearly touched her elbows. He reached out and picked up a strand, wondering how it was so soft. He mumbled to himself in Enochian without even realizing it, but Amriel heard him loud and clear.  _"How are you so awe-inspiring?"_

Amriel shook her head and smiled before grabbing a handful of his shirt and pulling him close enough to press a kiss to his soft lips. Cas groaned in response and moved so that he was standing in between her legs, her dress riding up her thighs. One of his hands went to rest on her hip while the other tangled itself in her hair, and he deepened their kiss. Amriel was running on instinct and what she had seen in movies, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, moving to kiss the corner of his mouth before leaning her forehead against his.

"Cas, do you want to-" she couldn't even form the question, knowing that she shouldn't have to ask something like that. She wasn't even sure what to say.

He knew what she was asking, and a quiet  _yes_  flew out of his mouth before he could even think about it. He wanted nothing more than to be as close as humanly possible to her- in fact, he had dreamt about it more than he'd like to admit. Cas pulled back, holding her at arm's length and asking if she was sure.

"I want to experience all facets of being human, and I want to experience them with you," Amriel answered as she reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it behind him somewhere near the bed.

Cas lifted her off of the counter and Amriel wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms tightening around his neck until he laid her on the bed, keeling over her and pressing wet kisses all over her neck and collarbone, feeling his heart skip a beat when she let out a quiet moan.

"You're wearing too much," he told her, his voice somehow a little deeper than it normally was, and he had her lift her hips so he could get the tight dress off of her body. It took a little work since he didn't know there was a zipper, but Cas was determined and once Amriel was rid of the garment he sat back and stared down at her exposed skin, realizing he had never seen her in her underwear before.

Amriel ran her fingers over his chest and neck, amazed by how soft his skin was. Textures were fascinating now that she was in a human body, and she could have spent an eternity touching Cas.

Arching her back, Amriel reached beneath herself and undid her bra, tossing it to the side. She had no knowledge of what she was supposed to do other than what she had seen on television, so she let her fingers follow the lines of his body, all the way down to the hem of his checkered boxers.

Cas bit his lip as he felt her hand slip into his underwear and he let out a quiet groan when her fingers grazed over his manhood, igniting a fire in the pit of his stomach that he had never felt before. Amriel wrapped her hand around him and Cas gasped, startling the girl and making her fumble and withdraw her hand.

"I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you?" She asked and Castiel shook his head, wanting nothing more than for her to do it again.

"No, quite the opposite, actually." He murmured as he ground his hips against hers, watching her eyes widen as she felt his hard member against her.

"Oh... I think I understand now," she nodded and then she asked, "Can I do it again?"

Cas shook his head, telling her that he had something else in mind. Pressing a searing kiss to her lips, Castiel sent her a smile before he started to kiss down her neck and chest until he found her soft, pink nipple and swirled his tongue around it, making her elicit a moan that made his chest tighten. While he busied his mouth, his right hand ran up along her stomach and found her other nipple, and he rolled the hard nub between his fingers.

"Th- that feels wonderful, Castiel," she moaned, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pulling him closer to her, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Suddenly Cas lifted his head and stared straight at Amriel, "Say my name again."

" _Castiel,_ " she rasped, "I want you to make love to me."

She saw him pause for a moment and she wondered if she had done something wrong. A girl had said that in a movie she saw, so she thought it was appropriate... But she didn't have much time to dwell on it when Cas sat up and tugged off her panties as well as his boxers before tossing them aside and settling above her, their chests barely grazing as their breaths mingled together between them.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and trailing his thumb along the soft skin underneath her breast.

"I want nothing more," Amriel nodded, and with that confirmation, Cas slid one finger, then two into her opening and heard her let out a small sigh. She was tight and warm, which only turned him on more than he thought possible. He could only imagine what it would feel like once he was actually inside of her, but he wouldn't have to wait long for that.

Once he felt her grip on his fingers relax after a few moments, Cas withdrew his fingers and Amriel groaned in annoyance, making him laugh.

"Patience is a virtue, Elle," he smiled, lining himself with her opening, teasing her slick outer lips with the tip of his member before gently sinking into her inch by inch, giving her time to adjust.

The air was thick with their arousal and Castiel could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he gazed down at the girl beneath him, her eyes closed for a moment until she opened them suddenly, gray meeting blue as she nodded, giving him a sweet smile that he took as a sign to continue.

Cas began to withdraw himself from her and slowly but surely he found his rhythm, but what surprised him the most was when Amriel threw one of her arms around his neck, digging her fingers into his skin and meeting him thrust for thrust.

There was no space between them now, his face was buried in her neck, his lips brushing against her skin as he listened to her soft gasps and moans, and Cas knew he couldn't hold out much longer.

Amriel was overwhelmed by everything that was happening. From Castiel's hand gripping her hip to the way his hot breath fell across her neck paired with the way he was rolling his hips in time with hers- she had never experienced anything like this in her entire existence.

"Cas, I-" she cut herself off, her vision filled with nothing but white light as her body suddenly tensed and she felt like she was falling from Heaven all over again.

When Castiel heard her call out his name, he was momentarily worried before he felt her muscles pulsing around his member, and he too fell into his own abyss of pleasure, his vision fading in and out as he thrust into her a few more times before letting out the breath he had been holding and lying his head against her shoulder, exhausted.

* * *

As they laid together, both completely worn out from their exploration of each other, Castiel realized that this was something completely different than the sex he had with that reaper. It was fueled by something greater than lust, and he was trying to figure out exactly what it was. He didn't notice that he had been staring her until she spoke up.

"What?" Amriel asked, sending him a confused look as she laid against her pillow. "Is there something wrong?"

Castiel shook his head and opened his mouth to say something but he found that it was dry. Clearing his throat with a small cough, he answered, "No, you're just the most beautiful thing I've seen in all of creation."

He watched her flush, the pink spreading from her cheeks down to her neck and chest and she took his hands with hers, lacing their fingers together.

"You're referring to my vessel, aren't you?" Amriel wondered if Cas would still feel that way if she was in a different body, but he assured her that he was attracted to her as a being, not her vessel.

"It's hard to explain in human terms," he said, leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. "I knew you to be beautiful in Heaven and that beauty has manifested here on Earth in everything that you do."

Amriel realized that she felt similarly, and she smiled up at him as she said, "I feel the same way. I think I love you, Cas."

That was it. He was feeling an exorbitant amount of love, but he couldn't put his finger on it until now. Castiel smiled, his blue eyes lighting up as he felt a warmth spread through his chest.

"And I love you too," he answered, running his fingers along her cheek and admiring how soft her skin was. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table and frowned. "Did you unplug the clock?"

"No, why?" Amriel asked, yawning as she spoke. She looked over her shoulder and saw that the clock was flashing, its red numbers reading 12:00 every time and she shrugged. "I'll figure out how to set it later."

There was a full moon out, so the small gap in between the curtains was all they needed to see in the motel room. Amriel could clearly see the stubble on Castiel's face and remembered how good it felt against her skin when they kissed. They laid in bed talking, their conversations shifting between English and Enochian, when the topic was about a memory of Heaven or a joke another angel had told.

"And they didn't get it?" Amriel asked, completely baffled by Castiel's recounting of their run-in with the Whore of Babylon.

"No," he shook his head, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "They assumed it was an exorcism. Sam and Dean aren't exactly the brightest."

"Well of course not. Then again, they don't speak Enochian so they wouldn't know." Amriel felt like she had to defend Sam for some reason, but she left it at that. "You said that's at the same time you drank the liquor store?"

"Yeah- a poor choice on my part, but it seemed like a good idea at the time." Cas shrugged and she nodded in understanding. It had been after he received word from Joshua that God wanted him to back off, of course he was going to be upset.

"I'm sure you had a terrible- um, what's it called? Hangedover?" Amriel tried to think of the word, but Cas corrected her gently, knowing that these distinctly human phrases weren't the easiest to understand.

"A  _hangover_ , and yes. I had a terrible headache that lasted for what felt like years. Speaking of that, how are you feeling?"

It had been hours since either of them drank any alcohol, and Cas was completely sober, so he wondered if Amriel was as well. She blinked a few times and bit her lip, like she was waiting for a sign or something.

"I think I'm fine. I'm not dizzy or feeling ill, so I don't think I'll have a hangover," she beamed, "I don't ever wish to have one of those."

"Trust me, if you kept drinking that vodka you would've been in for a bad one in the morning. What would you like to do tomorrow?" Cas rolled so he was on his back, and Amriel sat up and grabbed his t-shirt from off the ground, slipping it on and enjoying how soft it felt. She found the remote for the television on the bedside table and turned it on, finding a channel that was playing a late night talk show.

"I think Marissa wants to get something called a pedicure in the morning. Maybe after that we could go to the park if it's nice out?" She glanced to her right to see Cas nod slightly, his eyes barely open as he began to drift off to sleep. Amriel lay back down and moved closer to him, smiling when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and had her rest her head against his chest. She liked being able to hear his heart beating. With a yawn, Amriel told him goodnight, receiving a " _g'night_ " in return.

* * *

Leaving Cas to sleep in, Amriel met up with Marissa at a nail salon, a place the former angel had never been before. The girls chose nail polish and soaked their feet, while Amriel thumbed through a gossip magazine that she had seen on a rack at the gas station. Marissa was busy checking gossip news on her phone, showing Amriel photos of dresses and outfits on celebrities that she liked.

"Who exactly is Miley Cyrus and why does she have her tongue out all the time?" Amriel asked, holding up the magazine for Marissa to see, and the redhead's eyes widened as she set down her phone.

"You don't know who Miley Cyrus is? Amy, do you live under a rock?"

Amriel frowned, laying the magazine down in her lap and blinking a few times, unsure of how to respond. She felt strange, like she had been insulted, and she quickly shrugged and said that she didn't get out much.

"I don't pay close enough attention to popular culture, I guess," she answered quietly, turning to watch the man that was scrubbing her feet and massaging them. She thought she had been doing a good job when it came to watching television and movies, but apparently it wasn't enough.

A few quiet moments passed before Marissa said, "I'm sorry, it was just a joke.. You seem different, though. Happier, almost like you-" Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened before her pale pink lips formed a wide smile on her face. "You and Steve finally hooked up."

"Uh- yes, several times last night," she nodded, "It was much different than movies depict."

Marissa laughed and nodded, glad that her friend had a good first time. Hers on the other hand had taken place at a frat party and she barely remembered it the morning after. Plus she had classes with the guy and it was pretty awkward. Instead of thinking about past mistakes though, Marissa asked more about Steve. She had only interacted with the guy a few times and he had been stiff and awkward, kinda like Amy was when she first met her.

"What's Steve like outside of the good old Gas-N-Sip? Does he like.. do puzzles and watch the news all the time?" Marissa didn't know what 35-year-old men did in their spare time, so she threw out something that sounded like it made sense.

"No, not puzzles. He likes card games, actually," Amriel thought about how he taught her how to play poker and  _Go Fish_. "Steve is really… family oriented. He'd do anything for them, and I'm the same way. He's been through a lot in the past few years, but he's stronger because of it."

Marissa noticed the look in her friend's eyes and clearly identified it as a girl that was clearly in love. To each her own, she guessed, smiling at the blonde before looking down to see that her toes were nearly done being painted a navy blue.

"So that's why he's working at the gas station? He's doing some soul searching?"

"You could say that, I guess," Amriel nodded. "I'm um, in a similar situation. My Father left, and my siblings and I were kicked out of our home after a fight. We don't get along very well, and so we went our separate ways. This has been the longest I've stayed in a town since I left home, and Steve has really helped me. You have, too, Marissa."

They moved from the massage chairs to sit with their feet beneath a bright, UV light, and Marissa thought about how something that seemed as easy and simple as a friendship could help someone in ways she didn't even realize. She knew that Amy was a little strange, but Marissa thought it was endearing and she liked teaching her about fashion and makeup.

"You're like a sister to me, Amy. I hope you know that. What are you doing after this? We should grab a smoothie or something," she suggested, watching the blonde's smile fall.

"I'm going out with Steve, otherwise I would. But we can go together and I can get a smoothie for him too before I have to meet him," Amriel offered, not wanting to disappoint her only friend. It was the first nice day the town was experiencing in months- the sun was shining and a heavy coat wasn't necessary, which was a welcomed reprieve for Amriel, who was sick of winter.

Marissa nodded before checking their toes and saying they were ready to head out. The girls paid- well, Marissa insisted on paying for the both of them, much to Amriel's annoyance. On their way to the smoothie shop, Amriel decided that she was going to buy Marissa's drink- it was the least she could do.

* * *

Cas was brushing his teeth when he heard Amriel come in the door to the motel room. He heard the clatter of the key hitting the desk, along with her footsteps as she approached the bathroom he was standing in. Glancing in the mirror, Cas saw that she was carrying two styrofoam cups with bright orange straws, and she was wearing an excited look on her face.

"I brought you a smoothie!" she announced, setting it on the bathroom counter and returning to the main room. "It's peach mango. Mine is passion fruit, if you want to taste it when you're done. Oh, and there was a note on the door from the hotel management apologizing for a power outage last night… Did I do that to you?"

Amriel saw that his bare back was covered in red, thin lines and she looked down at her nails with a frown. He turned around and checked in the mirror, shrugging as he finished brushing his teeth.

Once he pulled on a shirt, he glanced over his appearance in the mirror once more, determining that he looked presentable before picking up his drink and walking out into the room as well.

"You didn't have to get me one, I appreciate it," he said, taking a sip from the straw. "And the scratches aren't a big deal. I didn't even notice until you said something. Now, you wanted to go to the park?"

Amriel nodded, saying that lots of people would be out because it was a Sunday and the weather was finally good enough to spend the day outside. She loved people watching, and she knew Cas did too. There was something calming about sitting and watching everything around them, trying to understand human nuances and figuring out what they meant.

"Let's go then," Cas held out his hand and pulled Amriel from the bed so she was standing beside him. He pressed a quick kiss to the corner of her mouth, watching her smile up at him before she drank some of her smoothie and dragged him out the door, leaving him just enough time to grab his sunglasses off of the table before they were off to the park.

* * *

Seated on their usual bench, the pair of celestial beings, well, one former celestial being and an angel locked out of Heaven, watched mothers doting on children, kids playing games, and a family taking their dog for a walk.

"Do you think they realize that we're different?" Amriel asked suddenly. They had been sitting in silence for about ten minutes, observing and drinking their beverages. " _We_ know that we're out of place, but do humans?"

Castiel thought about her question, wondering if it was true. Sure, people must have thought they were strange, not understanding jokes or cultural references. He was what humans considered awkward at times, and he knew that Amriel was the same way.

"I honestly don't know. I doubt that they think we- you're an angel, or that I was at one time. Humans are ignorant to that sort of thing. They probably think we don't get out very often."

"Marissa asked me if I  _live under a rock_  today," Amriel sighed, setting her cup beside her. "It hurt a little- I try my best to fit in."

She didn't want to sound as upset as she was, but Amriel really was trying, and Cas knew it. He saw the way she sat glued to the TV, watching how characters interacted and how they spoke to each other. She was the same way at the park, too, and she took what she saw and practiced, much like he did around the Winchesters. It was like deja vu seeing Amriel adjusting to her life on Earth. He could see it in the way she carried herself- no longer stiff like an angel within a vessel.

"You're doing a good job, Elle," he told her. "Much better than our siblings, I'm sure."

Amriel laughed at his understatement. The last time she had seen her brothers and sisters they were trying to fight each other while still figuring out what they could and couldn't do in their vessels. While they had been busy arguing, Amriel saw it as her chance to disappear without a struggle, and she had taken off. She had no desire to deal with their pettiness or their bickering.

All Amriel had wanted to do was restore Heaven and return home. Now that she had spent time with Cas, she wasn't so sure of what she wanted anymore.

"That's comforting," Amriel mumbled, leaning back against the bench and squinting. Even though she was wearing sunglasses, it was still extremely bright outside. "Spring is here, Cas. I can't wait to do away with all of these confining clothes and wear  _shorts_. I think I recall that Amy greatly preferred those over pants."

"I'm aware. It will be nice to finally be able to go somewhere without being drenched in snow. We'll get to spend more time outside without worrying about freezing." Cas realized that in two weeks, it would be six months since he had become human. Six months since the angels fell, and about five months since Amriel had arrived. Time passed so quickly now that he was human, and he knew that he didn't want to waste any of it.

"Let's go sit on those swings," he said suddenly, standing up and taking Amriel's hand as a confused look crossed her face. She looked from Cas to the open swing set and stood, following him across the park where they sat side by side on the hanging seats.

"I don't know how to do this, Cas," her voice wavered as she swayed, thinking that she was going to fall at any second.

"Neither do I, but it seems like everyone else enjoys it. I want to start doing more than just working all the time."

Amriel could see that he was enjoying this new experience, so she nodded, "Okay. Let's start now."


	12. Visit

Dean walked into the Rexford, Idaho Gas-N-Sip about ten minutes before closing. He had tapped into Cas' GPS on his phone and tracked him down to this spot, so he knew he was gonna find his friend here. What he didn't expect to find, though, was a blonde little number standing behind the counter in a pair of denim shorts, a white Beatles shirt, and a hideous blue vest that had a name tag pinned to it.

Upon glancing around the store, he realized that they were the only two people in the gas station, and he squinted, wondering where Cas was. The blonde girl greeted him, her sweet voice ringing out,  _"Good evening, can I help you find anything?"_

"Not yet, thanks," was Dean's reply as he scanned the aisles for any trace of Castiel. His gun was a mere inches away from his fingertips, just in case, but so far he hadn't seen anything suspicious except for the fact that a hot girl was working at this dump.

Dean grabbed a slice of blueberry pie and a cup of coffee before heading to the counter, his eyes flashing up to the girl's name tag before scanning her gray eyes and wondering if she had a number he could call once she got off work.

"Hey, Amy," Dean started casually as she rang up his items and grabbed him a plastic fork. "You wouldn't be able to tell me if you've seen someone around here, would you?"

"I see a lot of people come through, so possibly. Who are you looking for?" the girl asked, and Dean figured she couldn't have been over 25. Something about her seemed off, though. Her movements seemed a bit awkward and not as fluid as he would expect of a girl as pretty as she was. She was small enough, Dean could probably snap her tiny frame like a twig, but there was something about her that he couldn't put his finger on.

"Just a friend. I haven't seen him in a while and I thought I'd try and find him," he shrugged. "He's about my height, dark hair, blue eyes, usually has 5 o'clock shadow.  _Really_ awkward- doesn't get a lot of jokes."

The girl looked like she was thinking about it and she read off his total. Dean handed her a bill and she quickly made change, bagging his items and tossing the receipt inside, along with a few napkins.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I've seen anyone matching that description. I could take down your name and number and call you if I do, though?"

Dean shook his head, trying to hide his annoyance. The GPS said that Cas was  _here_ , at this shitty gas station,  _right now_ , and either this girl was lying or he was wrong, and he was rarely ever wrong.

"That's okay, sweetheart. I'll just take my pie and be on my way," Dean leaned forward to take the bag from Amy and caught a glimpse of something familiar beside the register.

Drawing his gun, Dean knew he was probably on security cameras, but he didn't care at this point. Amy stared at the weapon, confused almost, but there was no fear on her face as she glanced from the gun to him.

"Where'd you get that phone from?" he asked, pointing the gun down towards the cash register. That was Cas' phone, he knew it.

"Excuse me?" she replied, unsure of what he meant. "I accidentally took my boyfriend's phone instead of my own. I'm using it until I'm done with my shift."

"Yeah, sure. Save it, Blondie. Where's my friend?"

Dean watched her eyes widen slightly and she hesitated to say, "I don't know who you're talking about."

"You know damn well who I'm talking about!" Dean shouted, but she didn't flinch. "Where's Castiel?"

He saw something in her eyes change- her gaze narrowed and her stance shifted so she wasn't just standing there passively. This  _Amy_  girl looked like she was getting ready to fight him.

"Castiel isn't here," was her reply, and Dean almost laughed. "Now, you should probably leave before I call the authorities."

Dean raised an eyebrow- he knew that tone. He recognized that speech pattern and associated it with those dickbag angels he had been dealing with for what seemed like forever. He saw her eyeing the gun with an unimpressed look, so he returned it to its spot in the waistband of his jeans, tucked beneath his jacket, and his mind began racing.  _He didn't have an angel blade with him._

"Which one are you? Sneezy, Sleepy, Sexy?" Dean asked with a sneer, referring to the angel's vessel, insulting and complimenting her at the same time. He vaguely remembered asking Gabriel a similar question.

"I don't understand your question," she answered, shaking her head and her long, golden hair flowed all the way down her back, making Dean pause for a second as he stared at her.

"What's your God-given name?" he clarified, and  _Amy_  rolled her eyes, surprising Dean. Since when did angels besides Cas do that?

"My name is Amriel," she said with a small smile on her pale face, raising her chin slightly. "I am the angel of May. Now, who are you to come into this store and point a weapon at me?"

"I'm the guy that's gonna kill you if you don't tell me where Cas is."

The front door opened and Dean wanted to keep his eyes on this Amriel girl, but he had to see if this was a civilian and if he had to act normal. He quickly averted his gaze and saw his friend standing in the doorway, his eyes wide and his mouth stuck open in some bad attempt to say something.

"Cas?" Dean asked, watching his friend shoot him a glance before looking over to the blonde.

"Amriel, are you all right?"

Those were the first words of of Castiel's mouth, and Dean deflated. He  _knew_  her? Judging by the way Cas gawked at her, Dean could tell that he knew her pretty fucking well.

"I'm fine," she said softly and Cas walked past Dean and behind the counter, standing beside Amriel and looking her over to make sure she was telling the truth.

"What the hell is going on here, Cas?" Dean asked, trying to get his friend's attention, and once he did, he could finally get a good look at him.

Cas looked good, to say the very least. He looked healthy and like he had been eating- probably had a decent sleep schedule, too, judging by the lack of bags under his eyes. He was just so  _human_ , and it still caught Dean off guard. Cas was wearing a pair of jeans, a dark jacket over a green t-shirt, and boots, and Dean suddenly wondered where his trench coat was.

"Why don't you wait outside until Amriel and I have talked. We still have to close the store and then we can catch up," Cas told him rather than asked, and Dean grumbled something about going out to eat his pie in the car before walking out of the gas station with a huff.

* * *

" _That_  was Dean Winchester? I didn't even recognize him," Amriel said quietly, leaning her back against the counter, glad that Cas had shown up when he did. "He pointed his gun at me… But once he realized what I am, he knew that he couldn't do anything with it. Did you tell him where you were?"

Castiel nodded, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. It was early April now and though it was warm during the day, it was still chilly at night.

"I did a few days ago. I told him about the people that spontaneously combusted… That there could be a case here. But I didn't give him this address. He must've located me using my phone, which you took with you this afternoon."

"What are we going to do?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"We'll see what he has to say. I'll do what I can to help solve this case, but if he needs me to go with him after… I don't think I'll go," Cas gazed out the windows to see Dean eating his pie with a scowl. "I won't be useful as a hunter."

Amriel could see the disappointment all over his face. In the past weeks, they had been making an effort to do more  _human_  things, but nothing that would ever have to do with hunting, and she knew that Castiel liked their life as it was.

"It'll be fine, Cas. We'll talk to him and see what happens. You don't have to do anything you don't want to," she said, hoping that she could reassure him.

Cas shifted his weight from one foot to another, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck and letting out a sigh. Shooting him a confused look, Amriel asked him what was wrong, and he frowned.

"Nora asked me to come over to her house tomorrow night. She said that I was a nice guy, and at first I thought it was a date," he saw Amriel tense up and glance to her feet, aware that she was displaying signs of jealousy. "But she told me to invite you as well. Would you like to go?"

"Certainly. I wonder what she wants us to go to her house for…" Amriel mused, a weight lifted from her chest that she had been unaware of. "Should we close up here and go talk to Dean?"

The two quickly went through their regular closing routine and Amriel grabbed her sweatshirt and slipped it on before they left the building and she locked the front doors, following Castiel towards the Impala before realizing that Dean wasn't there.

"Dean?" Cas called out, looking around and peering into the car, wondering where he had gone. He heard a few quick footsteps, and Amriel gasped suddenly, calling out, " _Castiel._ "

He turned around to see that Dean had one arm around Amriel's shoulders, holding her arms against her body, and the other held her own angel blade to her throat. Castiel tensed and held up his hands, "Dean, what are you doing?"

"Who is this, Cas? What the  _hell_  is an angel doing here with you?" Dean hissed, pressing the blade against the girl's neck. He could feel the power swimming beneath her skin and he knew that she could kick his ass into next week if she wanted. But he was disgusted that she had played dumb in the gas station, so he kept his grip tight. "Did you know she had this on her?"

"Of course I knew. I insisted that she keep it with her at all times." Castiel's eyes flickered from Dean's to Amriel's, and he could clearly see the fear in her stormy eyes. "Let Amriel go, Dean. I called you about those people, not for you to hurt her."

The hunter sighed and dropped his arms, handing the blade back to the small girl, who quickly took it and tucked it back in its place before practically sprinting to Cas, who opened his arms and embraced her warmly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Dean raised an eyebrow, wondering what Cas had been up to since he had left the bunker.

"Now that you've successfully threatened my girlfriend, would you like to come back to where we've been staying and discuss the deaths I told you about?"

_Girlfriend?_  Dean was floored. The Cas he knew was a straight up weirdo. How did he land a- oh, that's right. The chick's an angel. She's just as strange as Cas. He watched the way they gravitated towards each other- the blonde's shoulder brushing against Cas' arm, and he immediately noticed the contact and took her hand. Dean raised an eyebrow; a lot had changed in the last six months, hadn't it?

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll drive," Dean pulled himself from his stupor and grabbed his keys from his front pocket. He saw Cas glance down to Amriel, who looked worried for some reason. "What, never been in a car before?"

Cas shot him a glare, but the blonde shook her head, biting her lip. "No, I actually haven't."

"Well…" Dean wanted to say something snarky, but he knew that it wouldn't be smart to piss off an angel that had been homeless for the last six months. So instead, he flashed her a smile as he opened the back door for her. "It'll be fine, I promise."


	13. Confrontation

While Dean checked in to a room a few doors down, Cas sat on the bed with his hands in his lap as he watched Amriel pacing the space in front of the couch. She had shed her blue vest, and now she was chewing on her bottom lip and glancing at each sigil that was within her line of sight.

"What are you doing, Elle?" Cas asked, drawing her out of her thoughts. She turned to face him, fear clearly written all over her face and he was worried about her. Dean had held her own blade against her throat- of course she would be on edge.

"Is this truly what you want?" she asked in response. "Do you want to help Dean? He's used you to meet his own ends in the past and never thought to help you when you needed it. He turned you away when you lost your grace! I don't think this is wise."

Castiel understood what she was saying, and he had never seen Amriel so impassioned about her opinion before, except when she had tried eating tuna and vowed to never touch the foul food ever again. But he knew that he had to help the oldest Winchester, no matter what. Sure, it had hurt every time Sam and Dean ignored his wishes or refused to stand by him, but he knew that to be a true friend, he had to help however he could.

"I have caused complete chaos over the past few years. I ruined our home. I have to do whatever it takes to atone for my misdeeds, and if that means helping Dean on this case or anything else he needs, I'll do it."

Nodding, Amriel took a few steps until she was standing in front of Castiel. She stared down at him, admiring just how  _blue_  his eyes were, and she smiled briefly as she moved his hair out of his face. Cas took her hand and she squeezed his fingers, breathing in deeply before she made up her mind.

"Just remember- whatever you choose to do, I'll be right beside you."

Before she could react, Cas wrapped both of his arms around her waist and pulled her down so she was sitting in his lap. He pressed a heated kiss to her lips, wanting to thank her for believing in him in more ways than one. Cas knew that he didn't deserve her love or her devotion, but she gave it to him without expecting anything in return except to be loved too, and he did.  _God_ , did he love her.

The sound of Dean knocking on the door interrupted them before things could get too far, and Cas waited for Amriel to stand before getting up to let him in. While he answered the door, Amriel smoothed out her hair and checked her sigils one more time.

The hunter walked into the room and his eyes widened immediately, scanning all of the sigils that lined the walls. Amriel couldn't really tell, but it looked like he was impressed.

"So this is where you've been staying this whole time, huh Cas?" he asked, taking a seat on the couch and refusing to meet Amriel's eyes.

"No- I've stayed at homeless encampments, the store room at the Gas-N-Sip, and Amriel and I stayed in an abandoned house before we came here," Castiel told him like he was stating the weather, and Dean gaped at him.

"Are you joking? No, of course you're not." Dean's gaze suddenly moved from Cas to Amriel, "How could you let him stay in a shitty abandoned house? Not like this place is much better…"

Amriel was stunned.  _She_  was at fault? Well, she had suggested the abandoned house, but it had been a better choice than separating and leaving Cas in the gas station while she slept on the street.

"Dean, you can't blame her for our circumstances. It isn't like we have the means to live in a house or an apartment right now. With time, yes, but not at the moment," Castiel tried to move his attention away from the blonde and onto himself, and it seemed to be working.

"Why didn't you call me? I would've dropped everything if you needed money or anything."

While she knew that was a lie, Amriel decided to figuratively bite her tongue and withhold any comments she could be making at that moment. After learning that it hurt to actually do it, Amriel figured out that some phrases are better when just spoken instead of acted out.

"That isn't true, Dean, and you know it," Cas sighed. "I did call you once, when Amriel first arrived. She was  _dead_ , and I didn't know what to do so I called and you didn't answer."

Dean looked visibly shaken, and his glare melted away as soon as his eyes hit the angel sitting on the corner of the bed. Did he feel sorry for her? Or was he still trying to figure out a way to kill her. She couldn't tell.

"You died?" he asked, almost tasting the word on his lips. "How did you come back?"

"I spoke with God, and he had plans for me here on Earth, so I was sent back," Amriel said simply, knowing that she wasn't supposed to reveal their Father's current identity to anyone, angel or otherwise.

"It was that easy? Cas here searched high and low for the guy and couldn't find squat. How did you get a meeting with the big guy?" Dean asked and Castiel fought the urge to roll his eyes. This wasn't the time to be discussing anything other than the issue at hand.

"He found me- I have no idea what to tell you other than that. No one speaks to God unless He wills it. He wishes for Heaven to be restored and for the angels to return home before we cause any more damage on Earth."

"Yeah well we have bigger things to worry about," Dean snapped, and Amriel leapt to her feet, approaching the hunter with a fire in her eyes.

"There is  _nothing_  more important than my family and my home, and it's broken. I was not created to fight, but I killed my brothers and sisters when we were in a civil war. We  _all_  fell to Earth and since then, I've been hiding from them because I'm done seeing my siblings die." She was toe to toe with him now, staring up at him, totally unafraid of his imposing posture or the way his fingers hovered over his hunting knife. He couldn't do anything to her, and they both knew it.

Castiel didn't realize that he was now standing, watching Amriel tell Dean off for trivializing her discussion with God. He didn't want to intervene, but he would if he had to. Cas saw that Amriel was shaking with rage, and he held his breath. The lights flickered in the motel room and Castiel knew that if her wings hadn't been damaged in the fall, he would've seen their shadow in that moment.

"You're pathetic, Dean Winchester. What kind of man are you to ignore your friend when he calls and expect everything in return? Who are  _you_  to ignore the word of God? You're deplorable," she hissed, taking a step back and looking him up and down with critical eyes, assessing him as something that wasn't a threat. "Castiel speaks so highly of you- he defended you whenever I questioned your actions. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. But now that I've met you, I see that my questions were merited. I don't care about you, but I do care for Cas-"

"And why is that, Blondie?" Dean cut her off, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring down at the tiny girl. He knew she could kill him in a flash, but he wouldn't hesitate to retaliate if she made a move. "Last I checked, Cas had angels gunning for him left and right. Why aren't you?"

That thought had never even crossed Amriel's mind. She was disgusted that other angels held so much hatred towards one of their own. Castiel might not have a grace, but he was still one of them. He had existed for eons just as they all had, but the others all seemed to forget that, which was why she took her vessel and ran as soon as she could- to get away from all of the fighting and those that were plotting to seek out revenge on Cas. She wanted nothing to do with it.

"We're very similar," Amriel finally said as she glanced to Cas quickly before returning her gaze to Dean. "God said so himself. His defiance of Heaven's orders sparked my own rebellion. I did what I could and fought for Cas against Raphael because I believed in his cause. I believe in free will, and I will help you with whatever you need. But in return, you have to stop looking at me like you want to rip me apart."

Dean wasn't sure what to say. Every bone in his body was screaming to gank her, but he couldn't do it. He didn't know if it was the way he saw Cas looking at her, or the way he had held her after Dean had nearly slit her throat. Cas trusted her, and Dean knew that he should probably do the same. It'd be good to have an angel on their side besides Ezekiel, who was only useful if Sam was pushed inside his own mind.

"Fine," he muttered, his hard gaze melting into something less intense, and he turned to face Cas, who looked surprised and relieved at the same time.

"I'm going to go get a soda from the machine.. Do either of you want anything?" Amriel asked, feeling like she should get out of the room for a few moments to let the air clear. She was still shaking as she rifled through her purse, pulling out a handful of quarters and counting them silently.

"No, thank you though," Cas said, and Dean shook his head in refusal before Amriel nodded and left the room, leaving the door open a crack so she would be able to get back in.

* * *

As soon as she was gone, Dean turned to Cas and motioned for him to sit on the couch. The hunter pulled up the desk chair, turning it backwards and sitting, leaning against the back and raising an eyebrow.

"So are you screwing her or what?" His voice was so casual and judgmental at the same time. Castiel had no idea how someone could do that with their tone. "Isn't that like, incest or something?"

"Do you mean to ask if we're having sex?" Cas asked, his head tilted to the side slightly and Dean nodded. "Then yes, we partake in the act on a regular basis."

"Aren't you brother and sister? Being angels and all that?" Dean wasn't getting his answers fast enough- the girl could be back at any second.

"It doesn't work like that in Heaven. Angels cannot reproduce in their true form. So no, it is nothing humans would consider incestuous. Regardless, I am no longer an angel. If Amriel were to conceive now with the state her grace is in, the child would most likely be a nephilim."

Dean rolled his eyes at his friend's answer, and asked how he had been holding up. "It looks like you got a pretty sweet setup here. Running water, TV, the works."

"It's a whole lot more than I had when I started," Cas replied, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Amriel's presence has been a great help. I don't want you to disrespect her, Dean. After how you acted at the gas station, holding her own blade against her? I'm surprised she didn't kill you on the spot."

"And why didn't she?" Dean glanced to the door, narrowing his eyes and listening for any sign that she was coming back.

"Because you're my friend. I told you about these deaths because I think there's a case here. Let's discuss that."

Nodding, Dean decided to hold his questions about Amriel until another time, and he leaned forward, picking up the newspaper that sat on the coffee table. He told Cas that he had gone to the first two crime scenes and that the only thing the victims had in common was the fact that they were sad.

"Look, I'm sure this is the last thing you want, but I need you to help me out with this," Dean said after they went over the details, and Cas' attention shifted back to the hunter after staring at the door for a few seconds.

"I'm not fit for your life, Dean. I don't know how to handle a weapon, I get hurt. I'm  _human_ , and I can't help you." He went back to looking at the door, standing and heading towards it, mumbling, "She isn't back yet. Something's wrong."

Dean followed as Castiel walked out of the motel room and out into the fluorescent lighting, switching into gear and double checking to make sure his gun was still in his waistband. Cas looked around, assessing the empty parking lot before heading towards the vending machine around the corner. When they didn't see Amriel, Cas called her name and Dean could see the panic clearly in his his blue eyes. The hunter surveyed the area, trying to find any trace of the angel, but it seemed too quiet.

"Dude, did she disappear into thin air or something?"

"Don't be stupid- when the angels fell their wings were compromised in the process. She had to go somewhere on foot," Cas said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, but Dean didn't hear the second half of his sentence. Instead, he had zeroed in on a pair of footprints that started in the dirt once the parking lot stopped and ending when the hit the pavement that led towards the street.

Dean pointed them out and Cas took off, following them to the sidewalk. The motel was located on a street that was populated by shops, restaurants, and bars, and Castiel would go into every one of those establishments until he found Amriel. He stood under a streetlamp, squinting down the street until he felt Dean's hand grip his shoulder. He turned, looking at the man to see him nod in the opposite direction, where he saw a tiny figure sitting on a bench a few hundred yards away.

When Cas approached the bench, Dean stayed back a good ten feet, watching the situation unfold before him. Castiel stood in front of the girl, whose sweatshirt hood was pulled up, hiding the majority of her hair, save for a few strands that fell out near her chin. She looked up at him, her gray eyes shining and her face stained with tears, and Castiel felt something inside him ache.

"Amriel, what are you doing here?" he asked softly, sitting beside her and taking her hand. "I thought you were going to the vending machine?"

"I- I did, but I saw something- someone, I don't know, but I followed. The person was in a vehicle, I couldn't continue further." Amriel sighed, wiping at her damp cheeks with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "I swear I saw an angel, Cas."

An  _angel_? Castiel went rigid and Amriel looked over to him, wondering what was going through his mind at that moment, so she kept talking.

"I couldn't get a good look- it's a little foggy out, but I'm almost positive it was one of our siblings. After I lost sight of the vehicle, I sat here and I don't know, I just felt so  _sad_. I miss the host."

"I know, and I do too, Elle," he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and saw a small smile reach her lips. "Come on, I think it's time to go to bed."

Cas stood up and Amriel followed suit, letting him walk her back to the motel room, Dean not far behind. Once they had returned, Amriel sent Dean a nod before disappearing into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Dean's mind was racing, trying to sort through everything he had seen so far tonight.

"You love her, don't you?" he finally decided on a question, and knew at soon as he saw the look on Castiel's face.

"I do, Dean," the man nodded, looking over his shoulder to make sure he could hear the shower running before he turned back to face his friend. "If she saw an angel, we need to find what's causing these deaths."


	14. Ephraim

Cas and Amriel had opened the store the next morning, and Dean came in around mid-afternoon. Amriel was busy restocking sodas in the refrigerators against the back wall, and she chose to stay here when she saw the Winchester walk through the front doors. Dean approached Cas at the counter, asking for beef jerky and a pack of menthols.

"I mean, I knew you had to lay low from the angel threat, but, uh... Wow. This is some cover," he said, taking in his friend's blue vest and nametag. "Steve?"

"My grace is gone. What did you expect? Do you have any idea how hard it was? When I fell to earth, I didn't just lose my powers. I- I had nothing," Cas told him before a flash of pride crossed his face. "Now, I'm a sales associate."

Dean raised an eyebrow, "A sales associate?"

A man dropping off a delivery approached the register and smiled at Castiel, "Hey, Steve. Can you sign here?"

"I'm responsible for inventory, sales, customer service. I keep this place - thank you - clean and presentable, and Amy does the same. And when our manager's busy, I even prepare the food." Cas was busy signing the papers on the clipboard as he spoke, and Dean was amazed.

"So, you went from fighting heavenly battles to nuking taquitos."

Cas nodded, a proud smile on his face, "Nachos too."

"Look,  _Steve_ , I need you to come with me. There's been another death," he said the last part of his sentence quietly, glancing around to make sure that no one else could hear him. "At a school."

"My shift will be over in a minute or two. Amy will stay here until we return, okay? I don't want to involve her in this unless I have to," Cas told him clearly, glancing towards the back to see her finishing the task she was working on.

"You should probably tell her that we're heading out soon," Dean said, paying for a coffee and heading out to fill up the Impala.

Castiel shook his head slightly, still amazed that Dean was actually here. He walked over to Amriel, feeling his mood lighten when she turned around to face him, a smile on her face at their close proximity. Usually they did their own duties at the gas station and didn't interact much because they didn't want to give off how familiar they really were with one another.

"Dean needs me to go to a crime scene now. Someone else has died," Cas told her in a hushed tone, watching the smile fall right off of her face. "It shouldn't take long, but when we're done there, we'll come back and get you- I asked Dean to take us to Nora's."

"Oh, okay," she nodded, wondering why she couldn't go with them. "I guess I'll just wait here then."

"Good. Like I said, we shouldn't be long. I'll text you if anything comes up or when we're on our way back."

Cas wanted nothing more than to pull her against him and kiss her, but there were a few customers in the store and he knew that he needed to act appropriately at work. They would have time later, he would make sure of it. Instead, he offered a reassuring smile before he said a quick goodbye and walked through the gas station and out the front door. He spotted Dean in the Impala, and as soon as Cas was in the car, they were off.

* * *

The duo arrived at the scene and it didn't take Castiel long to recognize the pink residue that the victims had been reduced to. He knew exactly what was going on, and he was worried. He explained to Dean that they were dealing with a Rit Zein, or a "Hands of Mercy" angel. They were healer-types who would painlessly smite angels on the battlefield when they were in too much pain to be saved. This one must have been confused by human emotions and was taking their small pains far too seriously.

"Amriel was right when she thought she saw an angel last night," Cas said as they drove back to the gas station. "We have to be careful. Any small pain might draw the angel out. Now we have to figure out where he is."

Dean pulled into the parking lot of the gas station and turned off the engine, resting his hands against the steering wheel and glancing to Cas before taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.

"Look, about Blondie. How do you know that she's not gonna deliver you to one of the douchebags that are trying to find you?" He knew that she seemed nice enough, but he also knew that angels were a bunch of liars. Castiel almost looked offended at the question, but Dean had to know.

"Why would she spend five months here if she was just going to hand me over to someone? I don't think you comprehend how difficult it is to adjust to being human, or in Amriel's case, almost human. When she walked into the gas station for the first time, I knew I had to help her," Cas tried to explain to Dean, but he didn't think he was doing a very good job. "She was so broken, Dean, and she was taking large amounts of prescription pills so she wouldn't feel anything. Emotions are  _hard_  to deal with if you've spent your entire existence without them."

Castiel shot Dean a look that begged him to understand. To realize that he, along with the other fallen angels, had never dealt with this before and that it wasn't easy to suddenly walk on Earth after being in Heaven for thousands of years.

"I know you don't understand it, but Amriel does love me to the best of her ability. Actually, she's like a sponge when it comes to media and culture. Our relationship might not be conventional, but it's still love. Please, don't treat her like some monster."

Dean didn't like it, but he would listen for the sake of his friend. But if the girl did anything to make him distrust her or hurt Cas, he wouldn't hesitate when he ended her. In the meantime, Dean would let Cas continue to live in this somewhat normal life he had built for himself with his little angel girlfriend.

"Are you being safe? Remember what I told you after you had sex with that reaper?" The last thing Dean wanted to do was have another sex talk with Castiel. It had been awful and embarrassing enough the first time- he didn't need a repeat.

"I do remember, Dean. And yes, aside from the very first time we had intercourse, I have been using the prophylactics you provided for me. Though I don't know what difference it makes- she's still an angel."

"We don't need any mini-Cas' running around right now, okay?" Dean asked, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. "Just- whatever, don't call it  _intercourse._  Jesus… I'm not talking about this anymore. Let's go get her."

"I'll go," Castiel blurted out quickly. "I think you make her anxious."

He was out of the Impala before Dean could even say anything, closing the door and heading into the Gas-N-Sip to find Amriel behind the register helping a customer. Cas took the time to watch her interact with the woman, her eyes were lit up with a smile and her hair was falling into her face as she said something to the customer, who he now realized was Christine. He watched the way her soft, pink lips moved and wondered what she was saying.

Amriel scanned the diet Coke and turkey sandwich, her slender fingers were manicured- something Marissa had turned into a frequent ritual, and Cas realized that he liked the color of the turquoise polish. He didn't even notice that she had spotted him, he was so busy staring. Cas saw Christine turn around, a knowing smirk all over her face as she waved at him.

"Hi there Steve, Amy was just telling me that you have a friend visiting," Christine said as he walked towards them, awkwardly standing beside the woman and sending a glance to Amriel.

"Yes, he's working on a job. He's a Federal agent," Cas said, biting back a smile, and Christine asked if he was cute.

"He's handsome, I guess," Amriel said with a shrug, earning a dumbfounded look from Castiel.

"You better keep an eye on your friend, Steve," Christine winked, obviously joking as she swiped her card and entered her pin number.

Before Castiel could even say anything, Amriel laughed and replied, "He's not my type. I think you'd like him a lot, Christine."

The older woman shook her head, saying that she didn't have time for a new man. "You've got a good girl here," she said, turning to look at Castiel. "I'll see you two next time!"

Once Christine was gone, the pair quickly closed the store and Amriel followed Cas to the Impala and got in the back seat, still feeling confined in the small space of the vehicle. She didn't like being in the back by herself, but it was certainly better than when she was rode the bus she took to get here. It felt like so long ago, when really five months were nothing in Heaven. Loud music filled the car and Amriel tried to tune it out, not liking the way it sounded. Cas had told her that Dean enjoyed what modern humans called "classic rock" or something like that.

"Do you guys know why your boss wants you over there tonight?" Dean asked after a few minutes of silence, and he glanced into the rearview mirror to see Amriel shake her head. He wondered for a split second if her vessel had been a model or something before invasion of the body snatchers happened.

"At first I believed it was to be a date," Cas answered, "But Nora invited Amriel too.. Maybe she knows that we're together and wants to reprimand us?"

"Hey, maybe it's gonna be a three-way," the hunter laughed, and both passengers tilted their heads to the side in confusion. Heaving a sigh, Dean muttered out, "Never mind."

* * *

"Thank you both so much for coming. I really didn't know who else to ask to do this, since my usual sitter, so I thought you and Amy could," Nora said, a smile on her face. "You two are really great employees, and since I trust you with my store, I think I can trust you with Tanya."

" _Tanya?_ " Amriel sent Cas a confused look as Nora nodded enthusiastically.

"I'm going on a date tonight. I figured this could be like a dry run for you two, seeing as you're so close," Nora winked, and Cas quickly tried to come up with an excuse, his mouth opening and closing a few times before the woman laughed. "Relax, it's fine. You're pretty professional about it at the store."

Nora told them that she really just needed them to be there in case Tanya woke up crying.

"My little angel never cries, I promise," The woman assured them, then she was gone, leaving two completely clueless angels to take care of her child.

As soon as Nora had closed the front door behind her, loud cries came from somewhere in the house, and Cas went to find the child and calm her down.

Amriel stared at the baby, who was now cradled in Castiel's arms, red faced and screaming.

"Please don't," Cas mumbled, rocking her slightly as he tried to figure out what he was supposed to do. He looked from the baby to Amriel and asked, "What do I do?"

Amriel was just as clueless as he was, and she shrugged. How did humans soothe a crying baby? She had never even seen a new human up close like this, and she certainly didn't know what to do when it came to handling one that was acting abnormally.

"Does she need to eat? Or perhaps she's tired? Why can't she just tell us what she wants?"

"Well she hasn't developed enough to speak yet. How 'bout a lullaby? Um… Okay, shh!" Castiel said before he began to sing something Amriel didn't recognize as he held the baby against his chest. "She feels unusually warm."

Amriel felt the baby's forehead, like she had with Cas when he was sick, and she realized that she was in fact hot. "What do we do? I could heal her, but I've never done it to a baby… What if I end up doing more harm than good?"

"You hold Tanya. I'm going to call Nora," Cas gently laid the baby in Amriel's arms, watching her carefully to make sure she had her before pulling his phone out of his pocket and finding his boss' number in his phone. When he reached her voicemail, he left a message. "Nora, she's hot. Really hot. Just please call me… Call- call me back. If I don't hear back, we're taking her to the hospital."

While Cas rifled through the bathroom and kitchen for some sort of medicine, Amriel stared down at the tiny being in her arms and wondered which angel had been tasked to watch over her. She knew the girl wasn't under her care- the name of every child of May was seared into her's mind, but she didn't know if it'd continue happening now that she was on Earth. It saddened her, actually, to think that these children were all missing their protectors due to Metatron's actions.

Tanya was still crying, and Amriel held the baby stiffly, not quite knowing what to do or how to act. Castiel returned to the living room and told her that once the baby calmed down, they should put her back in her crib. Tanya didn't settle down though; instead, she screamed as if her life depended on it and Amriel felt her forehead again.

"She's still exceptionally hot, Castiel. We may have to seek medical attention."

Nodding, Cas quickly pulled out his phone to see if their boss had responded. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket and looked at the fussing baby with a frown on his face, "Okay, Tanya, we're taking a little walk."

Castiel opened the door, ready to walk as far as it took to get to the hospital, when he saw someone standing outside.

"Hello, Castiel," the man said, walking into the house, and Amriel froze at the sight of the same angel she had seen the night before. "Squalid little dump. No wonder she cries," the angel said.

"It's a fever, it'll pass," Amriel said in a firm voice.

"What are you doing here, Ephraim?" Cas asked as Amriel put Tanya in her crib, willing the baby to be silent for the time being.

"I'm surprised you remember my name. I was just a nobody when we met, but you? You were a legend. You've been here before. This is my first time and it's… Intense." Ephraim turned his attention to Amriel, a smile briefly crossing his lips at the sight of her. "Ah, Amriel. How have you adjusted to life on Earth?"

"Much better than you have, apparently," she sneered, glancing from Castiel to the Rit Zein with cautious eyes.

"When Amriel found me, she was just as new to humanity as you were, Ephraim, and she's doing fine now. If you would just stop-"

"Stop? I won't stop. These humans feel so much pain, and I relieve them of their suffering," the angel said as if it was clearly obvious, and he turned to look at Cas. "And imagine who I would find. The  _almighty_  Castiel is now a human. You know, I admired you so much, brother. And you too, Amriel. Both of you rebelled- made your own choices. Only now, your choices will only end with your deaths. Castiel, you are so full of pain and sorrow. How do you deal with it? Sister, why are you in pain too? I know it's difficult now that you aren't in Heaven, but please be still and I will end it all for the both of you."

Tanya became fussy again and Ephraim stepped towards the crib, surprised when Cas moved in front of him. Amriel just watched, her fingers brushing against the handle of her blade that was tucked into the back of her shorts, ready if anything happened.

"Don't touch her," Castiel said in a firm voice, glaring at Ephraim, who merely laughed.

"You think I came for her? No, Castiel. I came for you."

Ephraim pressed two fingers to Tanya's forehead and silenced the baby, and Amriel breathed a sigh of relief. At least now she wouldn't have to worry about her fussing.

They moved back into the living room, Amriel staying near Castiel and a safe distance from Ephraim.

"Being human is full of pain and suffering," Cas tried to explain, and Ephraim cut him off.

"But I can feel the pain radiating off both of you!" Ephraim sighed, "There's so much pain and despair, so many voices begging out for relief."

"How'd you find us?" Castiel asked, grabbing a pair of scissors and running his finger over the sharp edge, watching Ephraim look around the house.

"Because you're warded?  _She_  isn't. But I really just followed the sound of your pain," Ephraim shrugged. "You have no idea how loud it is… I could hear it for miles."

"Amriel, please check on the baby," Cas said, a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite make out, but she did what he asked and disappeared into Tanya's room.

The former angel turned to look at Ephraim and asked, "Do you really think you're doing Heaven's work down here?"

"I know I am," Ephraim answered firmly.

"Well you're wrong. Earth can be a hard place, yes. But these humans- they can get better. They're all just doing the best they can."

"Is that what you're doing, Castiel? The best you can? I'm sorry, but if this is the best that the  _famed_  Castiel can do, you're a more urgent case than I thought. I used to admire you," he reiterated, "You failed more than you succeeded. But at least you played big. Amriel was merely following your example when she strayed from her path."

It was then he realized that Castiel was drawing a sigil on the door in blood, the pair of open scissors discarded on the table beside him. Ephraim lashed out and grabbed his hand before it could be completed, bending his wrist until it snapped, and Cas yelled in pain. Amriel ran back into the living room and watched Ephraim shove him away from the door, forcing him to his knees. The angel threw out his hand towards Amriel, forcing her back and against the wall, not even sparing her a glance when she fell to the floor and groaned in pain.

"Now what are you doing? Burying your head in the sand, right when your kind needs you the most," Ephraim twisted Castiel's wrist, making him gasp. "Shh, it'll be over soon. I'll take your pain away."

"I want to live," Cas said firmly, his eyes meeting Amriel's making a silent promise that they would get out of this.

"But as what, Castiel? As an angel, or a man?"

That was when Amriel finally found her voice, rolling over and hoisting herself off of the ground as she spoke.

"Enough!" she told him, "Let him go, Ephraim. He's a  _human_! If you're gonna fight someone, you'll fight me."

Ephraim released Castiel from his grip, ignoring him as he cradled his wrist against his chest and looked over to the blonde, who wore a look of disgust on her face.

"You have no right ending the lives of innocent humans. Your  _job_  is to heal those in Heaven. Since you won't comply, it's my duty to end you."

The Rit Zein laughed. "You? Little Amriel, the guardian of May. Over eager and zealous. Overlooked by your fellow guardians, unless they needed something from you. I'll take away your pain too, sister. All in due time."

Shaking her head, Amriel pulled her blade out and gave him one final warning, "I won't tell you again.  _Leave_ , and don't come back."

When it became clear that Ephraim wasn't going to comply, Amriel lunged for the angel, catching him off guard and punching him in the face. He quickly retaliated and slammed her head against the wall, catching the back of her thigh with his blade, drawing blood and making her hiss.

"You need to be put out of your misery, Amriel."

"Brother, please," Amriel, now dazed, tried to reason with him one final time. "Part of being human, or in a vessel, is experiencing a multitude of emotions- pain, happiness, and love. I have felt all of these things and more!"

Ephraim shoved Amriel into the wall again and watched her fall to the floor, breathing heavily as she tried to get up. He turned his attention to Castiel and stood over the man, prepared to end him then and there. He grabbed Cas by the collar of his shirt and shoved him so he was sitting on his knees before him.

"I am doing you a favor, Castiel."

It was then that Dean came running through the front door and he saw Cas about to be blown up by this Rit Zein, and he heard Amriel call out his name. He turned to see her on her hands and knees, her blade in one hand, and she tossed it across the room, and she watched Dean as he shoved it into Ephraim's back, and finally a white light filled the room as the angel died.

* * *

The three sat on the couch after Dean had dealt with the body, promising he would bury it later, and they tried to get a handle on what had just happened. Amriel had her blade back- Dean had given it to her without hesitating like he had in the parking lot of the gas station. He trusted her now, seeing as she had so willingly given up her weapon without a second thought. Dean told the two that he was going to be out in the car, ready to give them a ride to the motel whenever their boss got back.

Nora arrived a few minutes later, telling the two that her date was a total bust.

"I got your message, Steve. I'll give her some medicine and hopefully the fever will go down," she smiled at her employee. "You're both really great people, I hope you know that. I'm sure you want to spend some quiet time together instead of watching my fussy baby, so go on, get out of here!"

"Have a good night, Nora. And don't worry about your date- there are plenty of better guys out there," Amriel told her boss with a smile, taking Castiel's hand and walking out of the house and to the mailbox before turning and facing him, unaware that Dean was watching them from behind the steering wheel of the Impala.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't stop Ephraim from almost killing you, Cas," she apologized quietly, "He was surprisingly strong for a Rit Zein."

Castiel sent her a small smile, telling her not to worry. "I saw him cut you- are you all right?" He looked down at her leg to see dried blood, but there was no open wound or anything to signify that she had been hurt at all.

"I'm fine," she promised before glancing his hand and eyeing the way he held it against him protectively, trying to hide the pain. She reached out and touched him gently, "You, however, aren't."

He knew what she was going to do and tried to pull his hand away, but she healed him before he could do it. Cas felt the familiar warmth of her grace reaching out and touching him, and a smile crossed his lips. Amriel swayed for a second before shaking her head and grinning up at him in return, her fingers tracing his smooth skin.

"There, much better. And, I didn't lose consciousness, so that's good too." Castiel saw her eyes light up as she laughed and he felt just as warm as he had when she had healed him. Suddenly he realized that's what love felt like- being touched by a grace. It was soothing and made you feel safe and good all at the same time. It was overwhelming, actually.

Amriel was looking up at him, clearly waiting for him to respond to what she thought was a joke, but instead he curled one of his hands around the back of her head and pulled her into him as he kissed her with everything he could. It took a second or two before her soft lips began to move against his, and he felt he small hands move up his abdomen to rest at his sides, her fingertips pressing into him gently. Cas pulled away only to breathe out a quick, "I love you" before kissing her once more, probing her mouth with his tongue and feeling excitement pool in his lower stomach.

"Hey! Knock it off!" Dean's voice cut through the crisp air, and Cas jumped, pulling Amriel flush against his chest and resting his head on top of hers. Casting a glare in the Impala's general direction, he heard Amriel laughing into the fabric of his jacket, her warm breath tickling his neck and he shivered. She pulled out of his arms and took his hand once more, telling him that she loved him too before they walked over to the car.

* * *

"You two were like teenagers back there, you know that right?" Dean told Castiel as they sat in the motel room, taking a swig of beer and glancing to Amriel. "Hey, do you mind if me and Blondie here talk alone for a minute, Cas?"

"Only if Elle is okay with it," he replied, turning his gaze to the blonde who had perched herself on the desk with a beer of her own. When she nodded, Cas stood and excused himself, but not before pressing a quick kiss to Amriel's forehead as he left the room and went to walk around the parking lot.

"He calls you Elle?" Dean asked, testing the nickname out and wondering if he liked it better than  _Blondie_. "It's not too bad for his first attempt at a nickname. I've heard him come up with worse. Like  _assbutt_."

"What do you want to talk about?" Amriel didn't know where this was going, but she knew that she could most likely hold him off if he attacked her while Cas was outside.

Dean saw the skeptical look on her face and wondered if she even knew what skepticism was. He sighed and took a long swig of beer, setting the bottle down on the worn coffee table- he had to say something or else she'd keep staring at him with those stormy eyes of hers.

"You really helped me out back there, giving me your blade and everything. I shouldn't have done what I did yesterday. I don't do this often, but I'm sorry," Dean spit out the words even though he really didn't want to. She was an angel, for fuck's sake. "Just, take care of Cas, okay? I can't stick around to keep him outta trouble, so it's up to you."

"I know it is," she told him with a nod. "My Father gave me a very similar task. Even if he hadn't, I would still do whatever it takes to keep him safe. I'm not like Zachariah or Uriel, you know. I don't have ulterior motives and I have nothing to gain from hurting Castiel. I wouldn't know what to do if something happened to him…"

Amriel found herself frowning at the thought, and realized that something could have happened tonight at Nora's house. She was thankful that Dean had arrived when he did, otherwise she wasn't sure they would've been able to handle Ephraim. The blonde noticed the way Dean had watched her like a predator up until now- he had a look of understanding on his face. Did that mean he no longer saw her as a threat?

"Yeah, well I know that now," Dean nodded, unable to keep his eyes off of her small figure and the way she gripped her beer at the neck of the bottle, like she had seen him doing earlier. She really was a sponge, just like Cas had said. "Here, give me your phone. I'll put my number in it and if you  _ever_  need me, if something happens to you or Cas, call me and leave a message if I don't pick up. I'll be there as soon as I can."

His offer surprised Amriel, who found herself nodding and standing from the desk she had been sitting on. She handed him her phone and watched everything he did as he added himself to her contacts. Dean felt weird having her staring down over his shoulder, and when he handed it back to her, she merely smiled and said, "So  _that's_  how you do it… Thanks, Dean."

There were a few seconds of silence before Dean asked how Cas was doing. He wanted to know how his friend was holding up, and he knew that he wasn't gonna get a straight answer from him, so he decided to go to the person spending all of her time with him.

"Castiel is… doing as best he can," Amriel said, searching for the right words to use, and saw how Dean was watching her and listening intently. Little did she know that he actually preferred hearing the angel's full name out of her mouth, rather than just Cas. "He still has nightmares sometimes, but I think he's faring as well as the situation allows."

"That's not surprising, after everything Naomi did to him and what's happened in the past few years. Hell, I'm amazed he's done as much as he has and landed a  _girlfriend_  in the process. I didn't even know he could have a stable relationship- he sure as hell doesn't have one with me and Sam."

Dean said that last sentence more to himself than to Amriel, but she still heard him and frowned, wondering about the depth of their friendship. Instead of asking about it, she steered the topic away from Castiel as he knocked twice and walked back into the motel room.

"How is Sam? I'm one of his guardians in a way, seeing as I watch after all humans born in May." Amriel stood from the coffee table she had been sitting on when she watched Dean enter his information in her phone, and moved over to Cas and took his hand. The blonde pulled him to the bed and they sat down, facing Dean and waiting for him to reply.

"Sam is.. good. He's dealing with stuff at the bunker, so he couldn't come, but I'm sure he'd love to meet you at some point, Amriel," he told her, addressing the girl by her given name for the first time. "But listen, Cas… Speaking of the bunker. I, uh… Sorry I told you to go. I know it's been hard on you to be on your own. Well, you're adapting, and you've got  _Elle_  here. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Dean," Cas said with a small smile before he sighed. "But there's something Ephraim said. The angels— they need help. Can I really sit this out? Shouldn't I be searching for a way to get them home?"

"You two have a lot going for you here. Sam and I will figure out how to deal with these angels, so you guys just keep doing what you're doing. I'm gonna hit the road, though. People to save, things to kill, you know the drill."

Dean stood and hugged Cas before looking down at Amriel and pulled her into a tight hug too, now considering her a trusted member of their small group. He felt her hesitate for a second before wrapping her arms around him in return, and when he pulled away, Dean nodded to the two before finishing his beer and taking off.

Once Dean was gone, Cas switched on the TV as Amriel busied herself with getting ready for bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress and watched the news anchor in a gray suit speaking.

_"It's been months since the massive meteor storm, yet Idaho Falls astronomers still have unanswered questions. NASA and Washington are both continuing to study the phenomenon."_

Castiel grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, glancing to the right and catching Amriel's gaze in the bathroom mirror. He sent her a small smile and received a bright grin in return, and he knew he was right where he was supposed to be.


	15. Perception

It had been a few weeks since Dean had left, and Amriel couldn't get what he had said about Naomi out of her head. It was all she could think about when she wasn't busy with work or doing things with Marissa.

The human had taken Amriel to a bar and they didn't have to pay for a single drink thanks to the generosity of a few men that had taken interest in them. When Cas showed up after his shift, however, the men shifted their focus onto a game of pool, unhappy with the presence of  _competition_ , as Marissa had explained to her.

But nothing she did could change the fact that Naomi had done something to Castiel. Amriel had heard whispers about the angel that was a part of Intelligence in Heaven, and how she had been tampering with the minds of several angels. Naomi was supposedly debriefing them after traumatic missions or something along those lines, but she should have known better.

Now Amriel was laying wide-awake at 3 a.m., staring up at the ceiling with a sleeping Cas to her left. She really didn't want to ask him about it, but she had to know. His nightmares had been happening more often since Dean had been there, and Amriel did what she could to calm him down either in the dream or once he woke up.

She heard him mumble something and the girl turned her head to see that his face was pinched and he had started to sweat- a sign that he was deep within his own subconscious, she recognized. Amriel rolled onto her side and set a cool hand against his cheek, wondering how restless he would get.

Castiel let out a low groan and moved so he was on his back, one of his feet kicking out from underneath the blankets as he shook the entire bed. If Amriel didn't wake him up, he was only going to continue thrashing for the rest of the night. She sat up and yawned before crossing her legs beneath herself and turning so she could face Cas as she gently shook his shoulder.

"Hey," she said in a soft voice, watching him roll over and move closer to her. "Cas, wake up." She shook him again and his eyes flew open, frantically looking around until they settled on Amriel. A relieved look flooded his features and he relaxed, taking a deep breath and rubbing his face.

"Was I having another nightmare?" He was exhausted still- whatever had been going on in his dream had been wearing him down and keeping him from having a restful sleep. When she nodded, he asked, "Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was already awake. I'm having trouble falling asleep," Amriel shrugged before deciding she was going to confront him with what had been keeping her up. "What did Naomi do to you?"

Cas froze and he felt like his heart was in his throat- that's what his nightmare had been about. How did she know? In his dream he had been strapped to the chair in her bright, white office and the brunette angel was standing above her, berating him for corrupting Amriel and drilling into his head as she spoke. He had tried his hardest to free himself when Naomi told him that she would be working on Amriel once she was done with him, and panic had filled him completely when he woke up.

"Wh-why do you ask?" he stammered, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. Squinting at the alarm clock that sat beside the TV, he saw that it was nearly 3:30 in the morning and he was suddenly thankful they didn't have to work until the afternoon.

"Dean said that she did something to you, but he didn't explain. I just- I heard rumors of what she had been doing to others. Did she tamper with your mind?"

Amriel watched a flash of fear cross his face and she knew he was going to say yes. She had been learning to read body language and she liked to think that she could read Castiel's pretty well- he looked like he was going to be sick, so she set her hand on one of his, offering whatever comfort she could.

"Naomi went through my memories- she changed things, took moments from me, and twisted my thoughts so I would do what she wanted. I hurt people- I hurt Dean in the process, and turned to Metatron thinking I could make up for my mistakes," he said, avoiding eye contact as he took a deep, shaky breath. "I dreamt I was back in her office, being drilled into. I know that she's dead, but Naomi was telling me that I ruined you, and that she was going to have to  _fix_  you once she was done with me."

When he finally looked at her, Amriel could see that his eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and she did what she had seen in countless movies- she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly, saying that it was only a dream. Cas rested his face in the crook of her neck, taking deep breaths as he tried to calm down.

He heard Amriel's steady heartbeat and it soothed him more than he realized something as simple as that could. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Cas pulled Amriel closer and squeezed her tightly, worried she would disappear if he let go.

"Please don't leave me, Amriel-" all he could hear was Naomi's voice in his head,  _"You've ruined her, Castiel! She's been tainted by humanity and some sick version of love. Such a shame, little Amriel has such a bright grace… Just as bright as yours was."_

It seemed like a memory, his dream had been so vivid. What if it had been real? What if Naomi was still alive and messing with him? Castiel let out a low groan, feeling his head begin to ache, and then he heard Amriel's voice. He hadn't even heard her mumbling things to him as he remembered his dream.

"Cas, I promise I'm not going anywhere. God himself couldn't take me from you," she told him firmly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, smiling at the feel of his soft hair and the way his shampoo smelled. "Now, would you like to go back to sleep?"

He loosened his grip a bit and sat up straight, staring down at Amriel with a look she had come to recognize as lust. Castiel brushed his lips against hers softly before kissing her cheek and breathing against her neck, sending chills down her spine. He spoke in a low voice, deeper than his usual tone, "I think there's something I'd rather do."

* * *

Amriel stared at the television, carefully watching the commercial that was promoting something called a Summer Fair, that would be held that evening and through the rest of the weekend. Cas was in the shower, so she would have to wait to tell him about it once he emerged from the bathroom.

The advertisement had shown families eating strange looking foods, many covered in a white powder, throwing balls at targets, and being strapped into seats and riding something that the voice had called a  _roller coaster_. As the commercial ended and one selling a skincare regimen began, Amriel knew she had to go to this event. It seemed like such an important part of being human and fitting in. The people in the ad looked so happy and Amriel wanted to feel that way, too.

When Cas finally came out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, Amriel immediately turned to look at him, a smile crossing her lips as she saw that his hair was still wet. She was struck by how blue his eyes were, brought out by the dark hue of his shirt. They still amazed her and Amriel wondered if she would ever grow tired of looking at him.

"Cas, I saw a commercial for something called a fair. It starts tonight, and I thought we could go. It has food, games, and rides. I'm curious about the tilt-a-whirl," she said excitedly and Castiel could clearly see the anticipation in her eyes. He asked if she had gotten the address and she nodded, holding up the motel-provided pad of paper.

Sitting beside her, Cas took the pad and looked down at the writing, noticing how neat her print was. It always fascinated him that humans' handwriting could vary so much- no two were the same, despite the fact that the majority of languages use the same letters. His writing was sketchy and seemed rushed, but Amriel's looked like it had been done by an artist. Perhaps it was her vessel rubbing off on her- she said that the girl had been an art student

"I don't think it's too far away, so we shouldn't have a problem getting there. I've heard that fairs are fun," Cas said and Amriel nodded, telling him that many movies and tv shows portrayed them as such. "We'll go tonight."

The two spent the rest of the afternoon playing card games and watching television, before leaving the motel and arrived at the fairgrounds as the sun began to set.

Amriel was instantly enthralled with all of the bright lights and noises. She was overwhelmed by the music and laughter coming from every direction, and she grabbed Castiel's hand before they made their way into the crowd to see everything that the fair had to offer.

"This is amazing," Amriel mumbled through a mouth full of funnel cake, and Cas laughed at her powder-covered face. Of course the first thing she had wanted to do was eat. He watched the glow of the carnival lights reflecting in her eyes and he was entranced, having never seen them lit that way before. The blonde was holding out her plastic fork, a piece of the sugary dessert waving in front of him as she said, "Want a piece?"

Castiel tentatively took the bite, realizing how intimate feeding another person was in this culture. He didn't say anything though, knowing that Amriel most likely wasn't aware of it. The food was interesting, but he was content with the bag of popcorn he had in his hand. Cas found that he liked saltier foods and the funnel cake was way too sweet for him. He watched Amriel's attention turn to something behind him and her eyes widened, so he turned to see the tilt-a-whirl she had been talking about earlier.

"Want to ride it once we're done with our food?" he asked and she nodded, finishing off the rest of her funnel cake quickly and shooting him an expectant look. Cas merely laughed and ate a handful of popcorn, offering some to her as they made their way to the tilt-a-whirl.

They stood in a long line for the ride, behind a family of three and in front of a group of teenagers, so they were well entertained. Castiel was watching the way couples around them were interacting, wondering if that's how people saw Amriel and himself, while she was busy watching the faces of the people getting off of the ride.

Some looked exhilarated, while others appeared worn and pale. She was pulled back to her surroundings by a tug on her fingers, and she looked to see a little girl with dark blonde pigtails standing before her. She belonged to the woman ahead of them in line, and Amriel glanced to Castiel before looking back down at the girl.

"You're really pretty," the girl said, and Amriel opened her mouth to thank her but the girl kept going, "Your light is beautiful… But what happened to your wings?"

Amriel froze and she felt Cas tense up beside her, and she stared at the child before crouching down and offering her a sad smile.

"I fell to Earth and they were hurt in the process," Amriel told her before asking her name. The girl, whose eyes were a brilliant maple color, said that her name was Paige Summers.

"Paige? Your birthday is May 14th. It was my job to watch over everyone born during that month."

"Are you my guardian angel?" Paige asked, her wide eyes flitting over to Castiel and narrowing slightly. "Are you an angel too?'

"I'm one of your guardians, yes," Amriel nodded and she looked up to Cas, seeking his nod of approval before telling Paige, "He was, until recently-"

"Paige, leave this young woman alone," her mother interrupted, catching her daughter's attention before looking to Amriel. "I'm so sorry if she bothered you."

"Don't worry, she's fine," Amriel smiled at the woman, realizing that she needed to be pleasant. "You have a lovely daughter."

The line continued to move and once Paige and her family got to the front, the girl allowing people onto the ride stopped them, saying that the little blonde wasn't tall enough. The boy, obviously Paige's older brother, stomped his foot and said he wasn't going to miss going on the ride because Paige couldn't go. Their mother looked conflicted, not wanting to disappoint either child, so Amriel tapped her shoulder and offered to wait with Paige while she and her son went on the ride. She and Cas would be the first ones on once this run ended, so it wouldn't be a problem.

"Oh, thank you so much," the woman said gratefully, letting her son drag her away and onto the ride. Paige stared up at the two, a huge smile on her tiny face and Amriel couldn't help but grin too.

"You really  _are_  an angel," Paige gaped up at her, tugging on Amriel's fingers until she was kneeling in front of her again. "Will you answer my prayers when you get the time? Davey's sick and mom can't make him feel better…"

"I'm always listening. My name is Amriel, and this is Castiel. Whenever you want to pray to me, say my name and I'll hear you wherever I am. That's all you need to do," Amriel said quietly, making sure that no one else could hear them over the loud noises of the fair.

Cas watched as Amriel continued talking with Paige, noticing how kind and attentive she was with the girl. He knew that she went above and beyond when it came to her duties in Heaven and he wasn't surprised to see that she was still fulfilling them on Earth. What was even more surprising was the fact that this child could perceive Amriel's grace. Not many people could, and even if they did many never actually saw an angel in their lifetime.

They talked until the ride was over and Paige's mother and brother came towards them. The woman thanked Amriel once more and the angel briefly set her hand on the boy she now knew was Davey's shoulder, identifying the problem and healing him quickly and Paige's eyes widened as she watched a bright light pass from the blonde to her brother. Amriel flashed the girl a smile before telling the family to enjoy the rest of their night, and she took Castiel's hand, leading him onto the ride.

"You healed that boy earlier, didn't you?" Cas asked as they walked around the fairgrounds, stopping at booths to play games they thought looked interesting.

"He had a tumor… I felt it as soon as I touched him. The next time he goes to the doctor he'll be given a clean bill of health and Paige will be happy. That's my job- making their lives better."

It shouldn't have surprised Castiel to hear that she just wanted to help the people she had been tasked to look after. But after dealing with so many other angels that had nothing but ulterior motives and a thirst for power, Cas welcomed the change. He heard her saying that she didn't even feel drained from healing the boy and he shot her a smile.

Castiel wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled the girl closer, pressing a kiss to her temple, enjoying the time he was spending with Amriel. He liked this small town and he liked waking up beside the blonde angel he loved like he never had before.

It was such a change from constantly being told what to do by superiors or worrying about fighting a war or dealing with Sam and Dean's requests. It was a simple life but he wouldn't want it any other way. Amriel glanced up at him and grinned, pressing a quick kiss to his lips and asking if he wanted to go on another ride.

* * *

While Amriel was working her shift at the gas station, Cas used the opportunity to go see Marissa at The Grove. He walked into the store with an uncertain look on his face, finding the redhead seated behind the register like she usually was. The girl looked up for a second before returning to her magazine, but then she seemed to realize just who had walked in and she immediately focused her attention on him.

"Hey Steve-o, what're you doing here all by yourself?" Marissa smiled as she snapped her gum, setting her magazine down and giving him an expectant look.

"Uh… I was wondering if you sold suits or knew where I could get one."

Now that wasn't what she had been expecting him to say. Marissa raised an expertly shaped brow at him and wanted to know what was going on. Why would he suddenly need a suit?

"Are you and Amy planning on eloping or something?" she asked curiously, biting back a laugh when his eyes went wide and his cheeks flushed a deep pink. He fumbled through his words, muttering something that sounded like he wasn't intending to and he didn't know that eloping required a suit.

Before he could work himself into a nervous mess, Marissa told him she was only teasing. "We have a few suits I guess… C'mon, let's see if any are your size."

Marissa took his measurements and was surprised to find that she had a black suit and a white button-up that fit him nicely. She watched as he slowly knotted a tie around his neck, noticing that it was a little off, but it seemed to work on him for some reason. Smiling, the girl nodded and asked what he needed it for.

"I want to take Amy somewhere nice, but I don't have any appropriate clothing." Castiel was only partially lying. He had been following some leads and found out about some crimes that may have been angel-related, and he figured he would need a suit if he wanted to question people at some point, like Sam and Dean did. He did want to take Amriel somewhere nicer than a diner, too, especially with that coral dress she had.

"That's actually really sweet," Marissa nodded, admiring how thoughtful he was. Steve was a really good guy, she had realized over the past few months, and she was glad Amy had someone like him in her life.

They were a good pair- both of them were similarly odd and didn't always get her jokes, but that's what made them endearing. She had noticed that they were way too into each other to really see how people around town watched them.

Marissa had gone out to bars with the couple a few times and Amy didn't even notice the horde of guys trying to get her attention. Their relationship kinda made her sick, to be honest, but that's because she was more used to the 'hit it and quit it' method when it came to guys.

"I just want to make her happy," he said with a shrug. "Do you think this is acceptable?"

The girl smiled at him, saying that Amy was gonna freak when she saw him in his new suit. He shot her a curious look, his head tilted to the side and asked, "Is that a good thing?"

"Oh yeah, it's definitely a good thing," she winked. "I'm sure you'll be getting some if you take her to a nice dinner wearing that. Maybe comb your hair though. You get changed and I'll ring up the suit. Friends and family discount and all that good shit."

Castiel would never understand Marissa Davis or the things she said, but she was extremely helpful and for that he was thankful. He changed back into his t-shirt and jeans, tying his shoes and taking the clothes to the register, where Marissa was waiting with a garment bag.

"So where you gonna take her?" Marissa provided the conversation, knowing that Steve wasn't one to start it up himself.

"Um, I actually hadn't thought about it. Do you have anywhere you could recommend?" He watched her eyes light up and she immediately began naming a few places off the top of her head.

"My favorite is this place like two stores down from here. It's French, and it opened almost a year ago. Good wine, great food. Le Sirene, it's called. I'm sure Amy will love it."

She handed him the suit, now hanging and protected in a garment bag, telling him good luck and that he should probably stop in to make a reservation before they filled up, which would probably happen if he didn't get a move on.

"Okay, I will. And thank you, Marissa… I really appreciate your help. You've been a great friend to Amy and you have helped make her feel at home in an unfamiliar place." Before the girl could reply with a sarcastic comment to cover the warm feeling spreading through her chest, Castiel left the store and made his way to the restaurant to make a reservation.


	16. Making Plans

Castiel had been dreading this moment. A week after his nice date with Amriel, he was working and overheard about a mass murder that had taken place in Caribou, Wyoming. A glee club had gotten off their bus at a bar, gone in and killed a group of bikers, then left.

He  _knew_  that it was angel on angel violence, but he couldn't believe it. Cas knew that he had to do something. That's why he was waiting for Amriel outside of the gas station for her to get off of her shift, just like he did every night she closed the store. He hated the idea of her walking alone at night, even though he knew she could protect herself better than he could.

Peering through the window, he watched as she counted the money from the register, her pink lips moving along in sync with her hands. She paused, pushing her curtain of golden hair out of her face and laying it all over her right shoulder, exposing her neck as she went back to counting. His heart swelled at the thought that she was  _his_. She loved him, despite everything he had done and stuck by him and been there when he needed her the most.

Castiel knew that he didn't deserve it, though. He didn't deserve her gentle touch or her soothing words after he woke up from nightmares that were just memories of his recent past. The way she looked at him with utter adoration that made him weak in the knees, something he had never felt as an angel. Maybe he shouldn't investigate the murders. He should just stay here with Amriel and let the other angels fight each other.

When he finally came out of his thoughts, he realized that Amriel had spotted him and was motioning for him to come inside. He walked into the gas station and stood on the customer's side of the counter, asking how her night had gone.

"It was fine, Cas," she said with a small smile, leaning against the counter as she spoke. "What did you do today?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. But it can wait until we leave here- it's something better discussed in private." He didn't want to alarm her, but he could already see the worried look working its way onto her face as she bit her lip anxiously. Cas couldn't help but notice how  _human_  she came off as. He supposed that with more time watching television shows and observing people here she would fit in seamlessly.

Amriel paper clipped the money together before she put it in the designated bag and zipped it up, going through the standard procedures when it came to closing for the night. She liked mundane tasks like these. Count the money, store it in the safe.

She had already restocked the shelves, and now all she had to do was turn off the lights and lock the doors. Castiel enjoyed these tasks too, she could tell. It was much easier than any of their duties in Heaven. Things here were simple. But she had a feeling that whatever Cas was going to tell her would disrupt their happiness in this small town.

It had started raining by the time everything was done and the doors to the gas station were locked. Neither of them had an umbrella or any sort of cover, but they didn't care. The pair walked back to the motel in the pouring rain hand in hand, Amriel telling Cas about a little boy that had spilled his slushy all over the floor and cried for a solid ten minutes before she could talk him down.

"Children are the most frightening creatures sometimes," Amriel told him. "His face turned bright red and let out this high pitched scream… It was terrible! Cas, his parents didn't even know what to do. I gave him a larger drink and that's when he finally calmed down."

Castiel smiled down at her, knowing that he had seen many kids throw tantrums at the gas station and it had taken him a while to figure out what it took to pacify them. He wasn't surprised that it took Amriel one try. When they were under the overhang of the motel, they stopped outside of their room and looked out into the rain.

"It doesn't feel the same in Heaven," she said from beside him, leaning against the wall and smiling. "The rain, I mean."

Turning to stand in front of her, Cas nodded in agreement. "Many things feel different here, Elle. But not the way I feel about you. In Heaven or on Earth, I will love you with my entire being."

"What did you want to tell me earlier?" She didn't notice the way he was staring at her, taking in her drenched figure and smiling at the way her hair had begun to curl at the ends. Castiel reached out and tucked a strand behind her ear, leaving his palm against her cheek and he said, "It can wait."

He pressed his body against hers and kissed her roughly, feeling her hands reach up to tangle her fingers in his wet hair, and he groaned when she pulled at the dark strands. His hands had a firm grip on her waist as he deepened their kiss, needing more of her than he could have outside against the side of the motel.

Amriel took one of her hands from Castiel's hair and dug into the back pocket of her jeans, feeling for her room key and only breaking their kiss so she could turn her head to look down and unlock the door.

She pulled Cas inside and shut the door behind them, laying a line of salt while his warm fingers roamed under the hem of her shirt. When the line was finished, Amriel turned around and flashed Castiel a bright smile before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him again.

The next thing she knew, her shirt was gone and Cas was kissing her neck, his warm lips making her skin tingle. She ran her fingers through his hair before moving her hands down to the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head in one quick motion and tossing it aside.

She unbuttoned his jeans and while he stepped out of them, Amriel discarded the rest of her clothing and moved further into the room, pulling Cas along with her. With a small smile on her lips, the girl jumped up and wrapped her legs around Castiel's waist, her hands gripping his shoulders as he caught his balance and his hands went to her rear to support her.

When Amriel rolled her hips, Cas closed his eyes tightly and groaned, and a rush of excitement ran through her. When she did it a second time, he moved until they were in the small kitchenette and he sat her on the countertop, his hands moving to her waist as he pressed a sloppy kiss to her lips.

Amriel's fingers raked through his soft, dark hair as Cas moved from her lips to her neck, trailing open kisses along her skin before she pulled him back up to kiss him again. She felt his fingers trail up her thighs and between her legs, and she drew in a sharp breath when he slipped a digit into her slick folds.

"Don't tease me, Castiel," she groaned, leaning her forehead against his shoulder and trying to catch her breath.

As he slid another finger into her and continued working her with a steady rhythm, Amriel wrapped her legs around Cas, pulling him as close as she possibly could. She kissed his neck and shoulder, smiling to herself when she scraped her teeth against his skin and he moaned. After all of their sexual exploration, Amriel found that she loved the noises he made, so she tried to get him to make as much as possible.

Amriel felt a familiar tension building up inside of her, and she knew she wasn't far from her release. But Cas seemed to be taking his time, which annoyed her to no end.

"Faster, please- I'm almost there," she was panting now, tangling her fingers in his hair and kissing him roughly.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Cas froze completely before he withdrew his fingers from Amriel, making her frown in annoyance. She leaned her head back against the cabinets, watching him scramble to pull on his pants so he could answer the door.

"Yes?" His voice was thick, and Amriel heard him clear his throat before continuing, "Can I help you?"

_"I- I'm sorry to come by so late, but a young lady stopped by earlier and asked if I would drop off more towels…"_  A nervous voice filled the room and Amriel was suddenly glad there was a divider between the kitchenette and the door to the room.

"Oh, well, thank you," Cas said awkwardly, and soon enough the door was closed and he came into view with a stack of white towels in his arms. "You asked for these earlier?"

"I totally forgot…" she sighed, "Sorry."

Amriel jumped off of the counter and went to find her underwear, slipping them on along with her shirt that had landed not too far from the bed.

When she turned to face Cas, she jumped when she saw that he was right in front of her, a confused look on his face.

"Are you no longer, um,  _in the mood?_ " he asked carefully as she pulled her hair out of the collar of her shirt.

"I think I'm just gonna get ready for bed," she shrugged, and with that, Amriel fled to the bathroom and shut the door behind her, leaving Cas alone.

He had no idea what he had done to earn that kind of reaction from her, but he frowned anyways and ran a hand through his hair before getting ready for bed too.

When Amriel emerged from the bathroom, Cas was already in bed and watching a cooking competition show on TV. She climbed into bed and turned off the light on her night stand, laying on her side and looking at Castiel as he focused his attention on the television.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she finally said. "We've never been interrupted like that and the thought of getting caught scared me. I didn't know what to do…"

Cas finally looked over at her as she trailed off, an understanding gleam in his eyes and he patted the space on the mattress next to him, inviting Amriel to come closer.

Now that she was curled up against Castiel's side, her head resting on his chest and one of her arms was draped across his stomach, and as he started to play with her hair, she realized that this was what it was like to be human. She heard him sigh quietly and she looked up, asking what he was thinking about.

"I need to tell you something," he said in a serious tone, and Amriel shifted so she could see him as he spoke. "I need to go to Caribou, Wyoming. There was a mass murder of angels, done by another group of angels. I have to find out more information… Why it happened, who these angels were-"

"I'm going with you, Cas," she cut him off, lacing her fingers with his and squeezing his hand. "I don't want you handling angels by yourself."

Castiel shook his head, telling her that he was fully capable of doing it on his own.

"It will be fine. I'll only be questioning witnesses and see if I can find a lead, much like Sam and Dean do when they go on hunts."

"This isn't a hunt for demons or ghost," she reminded him. "These are  _angels_. You know what they're capable of, and you can't go alone."

"You're not going to let me go alone, are you?" Cas asked and she frowned, saying she wouldn't know what to do if something happened to him.

"How could I when you're the only thing that makes living on Earth bearable?"

Cas knew that she wasn't going to change her mind, so he took it and said that they would have to leave soon. He mentally went over what they would need: bus tickets, clothes, their weapons. It seemed simple enough. While stuck in his thoughts, he hadn't heard Amriel mulling over how they would quit their jobs or what she would tell Marissa until she asked what he thought.

"I- uh, I hadn't thought of that. We don't have to quit at the Gas-N-Sip, and we don't have to tell Marissa that we're leaving. People take vacations. We can go on one of those."

"I've never been on a  _vacation_. Aren't they supposed to be fun?" Amriel was pretty sure every depiction she had seen of a vacation had been enjoyable.

"It's a business vacation? I'm not sure, I've never been on one of these either. We can call Nora from the road tomorrow and tell her that we had a family emergency, and you can text Marissa if she asks where you went. I don't believe this will take longer than a few days."

"Then it's settled. Tomorrow we'll go to the bus station and get to Wyoming to investigate these killings." She confirmed their plan. "When we come back, maybe we can go on a real vacation."

"I'd like that, Elle. Where would you want to go?" Cas asked, glancing down at her to find that she was staring up at him with a small smile.

"I'm not really sure… Maybe somewhere with a beach. I'd love to see the ocean through the eyes of a human."

Castiel realized that he really had taken his time on Earth for granted. As an angel, he had been so concerned with his cause that he didn't stop to take in the true beauty of the planet he watched over.

"The beach it is, then," he reaffirmed their plans, "Is there anything else you'd like to do? I'm not sure how long it'll take to open Heaven, so it could be years before you can go back."

He knew that he probably wasn't going to get his grace back, so there was no use in hoping he would ever be able to return to the place he had existed in for eons.

Amriel was quiet for a few moments, her brows furrowed in thought before her face lit up and she rolled over to her nightstand, where her phone was plugged into its charger. She retrieved the phone and sat up, navigating through the device's menu until she found her photos. Cas watched in awe at the way she went through it with such ease- like she had been using it for years, not a few months.

"One day, I really want to get a dog. I've seen them at the park, playing with their owners and running around without a care in the world. I… I did some research online, and I've read articles and watched videos, and I want a golden retriever."

She handed him her phone, a photo of dog she had found online sitting next to a sofa on the screen.

"I'd love to take her for walks, play fetch, and give her baths… She would be very well taken care of," Amriel beamed as Cas looked through the photos she had saved to her phone, and he could imagine her doing all of those things with one of them.

"You'd be a very good owner, Elle. But I don't think the motel is pet friendly…"

Amriel sighed, saying that she knew. "That's why we'd have to get a place of our own. Once we have that,  _then_  we could get a dog."

"You have certainly thought things through, haven't you?" Cas said with a smile, and he saw her cheeks flush in what he assumed was embarrassment.

"Yeah, I guess I got carried away," she shrugged, tucking her hair behind her ear. "When the gas station is empty, I don't have much to keep me busy, so I think about our future."

Cas had never really thought about the future. Honestly, he tried not to. It had been so uncertain since he became human, but a future with Amriel would definitely be one worth thinking about.

"What other things do you envision for our future?"

With that simple question, Amriel began to tell him about all of the things she had thought of, from the small things like what they were going to do for their next date, to the kind of home they would eventually live in when they had the money.

As she talked, Cas found himself starting to think about what he wanted, too, and they stayed up late into the early morning planning their future several times over.


	17. Sam

Once they were checked in at a small motel in Caribou, Castiel changed into his suit and made sure he had his fake FBI badge that Dean had given him long ago. Amriel sat on the bed, watching as he did his tie and admiring the way he looked in the suit.

"You look quite handsome, Cas. Very official. I'd believe you were a federal agent if I didn't know any better," she told him honestly, and he sent her a smile.

"Elle, you probably  _wouldn't_  know any better," he laughed, "But then again, neither would I. If Sam and Dean can get away with it all the time, I can do it too."

"What should I do while you're at the scene? I've already warded the room," she gestured to the sigils on the walls as she yawned.

"Perhaps you should rest. You were awake the whole ride here," Cas said, a hint of concern in his voice. He couldn't help but remember how fidgety and nervous she had been the entire time they were on the bus.

"I suppose," Amriel nodded, trying not to think about how anxious the confined space of the bus had made her feel. "I'll look online and watch the news for information about the murders, too."

"As long as you get some sleep," he told her in a gentle tone now, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking her hand in his, lacing their fingers together. "I worry about you, Elle. How's your grace? You haven't spoken of it much…"

His question had caught her off guard completely. Since Paige had seen her true form, Amriel had been paying close attention to her grace and how it had healed over the months. It was much brighter than it had been when she fell, and her wings… She flashed Cas a bright smile before she started to tell him.

"Oh, I wish you could see. It's far brighter than what it was when I found you. It doesn't dim when I'm tired, and I really think I could move objects or people like Ephraim did. My wings— the feathers have been coming in slowly. That's why Paige was so concerned, I think. There's a lot of new growth, but it's patchy," she shrugged, an idea suddenly popping into her head as she grinned. "I want to try something. Stand up, please."

Amriel hopped off of the bed and told Cas to stay where he was. She walked a few feet away so they were standing across from each other, and she looked him straight in the eyes, telling him to stick with her.

Holding up her hand, Amriel spread her fingers before pulling them back and towards herself, like she was trying to grab something out of thin air. She tried this a few times before taking a deep breath and nodding. This time, Castiel flew the few feet and collided into her, toppling them to the ground, a shriek of laughter escaping Amriel as she fell into a fit of giggles. Her laughter was infectious, and Cas found himself chuckling too, holding himself so he wasn't crushing her against the carpet.

"Well, now we know that I can move people," Amriel grinned up at him, a light in her eyes that Cas hadn't seen since she first healed him without incident.

* * *

"Hello officer, I'm Agent Steve Moscone, FBI," Castiel flashed his fake badge and glanced around the scene of the crime with critical eyes. "I've been sent to assist in the investigation. Tell me what happened here."

Cas followed the officer through the bar, going through what had happened until he saw Sam and Dean come in through the front door.

"Ah, my colleagues," he said to the cop, excusing himself.

Approaching the hunters, Cas sent them a small smile as Sam slapped him on the arm.

"Agent," Sam greeted.

"Agent," Castiel answered in a faux official voice, and Dean cut their fun short.

"Cas. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Um, I still have that badge you gave me."

"Oh yeah? So, what the hell are you doing here?" Dean asked again.

"The murders were all over the news… I thought I might be of help."

"Yeah, but Cas, you know this is an angel situation, right?" Sam asked, "I mean, you left that night because angels were on your ass."

An uncomfortable look crossed Dean's face and he interrupted, "Yeah, and you were living the life, you know? Early retirement, working your way up the Gas-n-Sip ladder. Where's your girlfriend at?"

" _Girlfriend?_ " Sam echoed, but neither his brother nor Cas explained.

"If angels are slaughtering one another, I have to do what I can to help. It's a risk we should be willing, don't you think?" He looked to Sam, who shrugged in agreement, and he continued, "Hey. Cas is back in town."

"Seriously? Did you-" Dean looked at Sam, amazed, "Did he just say that?"

"These angels— they were butchered. Much more violence than was required." Castiel glanced over his shoulder back at the scene and frowned. It must've been horrific.

"Definitely took more than one or two killers to pull this off," Sam nodded.

"Hit squad? Bartholomew's people?" Dean thought aloud, and Sam continued his train of thought. "Well, Bartholomew has a faction we know about, but this could be somebody else entirely… We don't know."

"Well, whoever it is, we'll find him," Cas said, his voice filled with determination that Sam hadn't heard in a long time.

" _We'll_  find him. That's great," Dean groaned as Cas walked off to continue looking around.

"What did you mean when you asked Cas about his girlfriend? Does he seriously have one?" Sam asked with an eyebrow raised, his gaze moving from his brother to the former angel in a familiar suit as he assessed the scene.

"It's a long story," Dean sighed. "Let's just focus on the job."

* * *

"She should be here shortly," Cas said after checking his phone for probably the fifteenth time in the past ten minutes. It was driving Dean nuts. "I gave her the address, and this bar isn't far from the motel…"

"I'm sure she won't be much longer. We just got here, Cas," Sam smiled, not realizing how much he had actually missed his friend until earlier today. "So, how did you meet this girl?"

Cas was going to answer, but the door of the bar opened and Amriel walked in, her golden hair falling in waves around her shoulders and her gray eyes searching the crowd until she saw who she was looking for, a bright smile lighting up her face. She made her way over to the bar to get a beer before joining them, and Cas noticed that she was underdressed compared to the three men in suits, wearing a pair of denim shorts, a white v-neck and an unbuttoned plaid with the sleeves rolled up. Sam followed Castiel's gaze, and he was floored when he saw a small, blonde girl coming towards them. The younger Winchester shot his brother a look, clearly asking what was up with this, but Dean merely shrugged.

"There she is! Took ya long enough." Dean smiled at Amriel as she approached the table, pulling her in for a small hug before looking back at his brother and gesturing to the girl. "Hey Sammy, here's someone that you'll be very interested in meeting." He nodded to her, indicating that she should introduce herself.

Staring up at the enormous man with long, dark hair and kind eyes, she felt extremely nervous for some reason. She glanced to Castiel, who nodded before taking a sip of his beer. When she looked back to Sam, she saw that he was full of curiosity and even apprehension as he watched her play with the ends of her over shirt.

"I'm Amriel. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sam Winchester. I've been waiting a long time for this, actually," she said, her voice trailing off quietly and she saw his eyes narrow before they widened in realization.

" _You're_  the angel of May? You're beautiful…"

"Isn't she?" Castiel interrupted, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and kissing her temple in a display of affection that was strange to the Winchesters. He was clearly drunk- they all knew it, and Amriel gave Sam a soft smile.

"Thank you, but this is just a vessel. I'm one of your guardians. I watched when I could, but we were told to take a more hands-off approach. I bent the rules when I thought it was necessary, though," she told him, and a grateful look passed over his face. "When you were twelve and that abnormally large child was chasing you after school…"

"You're the reason he tripped?" His jaw had dropped, as had Castiel's, and Amriel saw a look of pride in his bright blue eyes.

"It's hard to do much when you're merely a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent," she shrugged unknowingly echoing words Cas had said once before, "But I did what I could to ensure you weren't harmed."

"Well, thank you. I really didn't want to get the crap beaten out of me by  _Jason Thompson_ ," Sam smiled, holding out his hand. His small grin widened once her tiny hand slipped into his giant one, and he tugged her from Castiel's grasp and into a hug of his own, saying to her quietly, "If Dean hugged you, then I know you're one of the good ones."

In his embrace, Amriel felt something familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. It was warm and comforting, and when she pulled away she squinted and saw the glow of a grace that she didn't recognize.

_"Sam must not know he's being possessed by an angel. But who is it?"_  She thought to herself. Once Amriel was in her own chair, Dean picked up the conversation.

"Hey Cas, are you sure you're ready jump back into all this? I mean, it seemed to me like you'd actually found some peace," Dean shot him a look and glanced not so subtly to Amriel.

"You once told me that you don't choose what you do. It chooses you," Castiel answered, and Dean stared at him in confusion.

"Huh?"

"I'm part of this," Cas continued, clinking his bottle against Dean's, "Like it or not. Amriel is, too. Right, Elle?"

"That's right," she nodded, taking a swig of her beer and finding that she didn't like the taste as much as other beers she'd tried.

"All right, well, then, in that case, we have to figure out, uh, who we're up against, what they want, and how do we stop them," Sam stuttered out, drawing a glare from Dean.

"Well, Bartholomew wants to reverse Metatron's spell. Presumably to take Heaven for himself once his following is large enough. That's according to April."

Amriel's eyes widened at the mention of April, remembering that Cas mentioned her once before.

"The reaper you banged," Dean clarified, and Amriel stiffened, staring down at her beer with a sudden interest.

"Yeah, and you stabbed," Castiel shot back.

"Yeah…" Dean muttered. "She was hot."

" _So_  hot. And very nice," Cas nodded and Dean hummed in agreement as his friend continued. "Up until the point she started torturing me."

"Well, not every hookup's perfect." The hunter patted his friend's arm.

Sam couldn't believe the exchange that was going on before him, especially with Amriel sitting right there with them.

"Really?" Sam finally spoke up, "You're gonna talk about some reaper Cas banged right in front of his  _girlfriend_?"

Castiel paled, turning to face an obviously uncomfortable Amriel, and Sam offered to get another round of beers.

"Nah, I'll get it. C'mon, Elle," Cas hopped off of his bar stool and held his hand out to Amriel, who took it without hesitating and together they walked over to the bar, where they ordered four more beers.

"Sorry about that. I wasn't aware that it's forbidden to discuss prior relationships, well, it wasn't even a relationship," Castiel fumbled over his words, and Amriel shook her head, telling him not to worry about it.

"I'm so glad I finally got to meet Sam. But there's something you should know. I think there's an angel residing in him.. I could barely see a grace-"

"Yes, an angel helped him heal after the trials. I'm sure there's some residual grace running through Sam," Cas explained away her concerns. "I doubt it's anything to worry about."

The couple took the beers back to the table, and Cas smiled, "Here we go, four brewskis."

Sam cleared his throat and excused himself, saying that he needed something out of the car. "It was really great to meet you, Amriel."

They watched him walk out of the bar, before Dean turned to face the two lovebirds in front of him. Cas was clearly wasted after only a couple of beers, his focus on nothing but Amriel for the time being. It was nice seeing him like this- as relaxed as an ex-angel could be, staring at his girlfriend with bedroom eyes. Dean was surprised he wasn't trying to grope her right now.

Castiel cleared his throat and looked at Dean, finding the courage to say what had been on his mind all night.

"I, um, I noticed you look kind of… uncomfortable whenever Sam mentions my leaving. Doesn't he know that you told me to leave?"

"Here's the deal," Dean answered, "When Sam was doing the trials to seal up Hell, it messed him up, okay? The third one nearly killed him, and if I'd let him finish, it would have. He's still messed up, bad."

Amriel looked alarmed at this point. Why hadn't she known that Sam had been doing the trials?

"You said the angel, Ezekiel, helped heal him," Cas said, his head tilting to the side and Dean looked down, avoiding his gaze.

"Look, I gotta do everything I can to get him back. Now, if that means we keep our distance from you for a little while, then… Then I don't have a choice. I don't feel good about it, but I don't have a choice. It's great to have your help, Cas, and yous too, Amriel. Okay, but we just can't work together."

"Well, that's just fine then," Amriel spoke up, sending the hunter a harsh glare. "Send away the  _angel_  and former angel who could offer a lot of help in solving this case. We'll be going now."

She really wanted to discuss more with Dean, but it appeared that he wanted nothing to do with Cas, and that hurt her.

"Don't maul her until you're back at the motel, Cas," Dean smirked, trying to save face, and he took a long swig of beer.

"Call us if you need anything. I'm sure you will at some point," she shot, unsure of why she was being so short with the Winchester. Something about the way he had acted towards Castiel really left a bad taste in her mouth, and she was trying to dish it back to him. A taste of his own medicine, she thought it was called.

"Sure thing, Elle," the Winchester winked and watched as she took Castiel's hand, telling him to  _c'mon_ , and she led him out of the bar. Dean watched them leave, thinking to himself that they could actually be mistaken for a real, human couple.

He couldn't help but notice how in-tune they were with each other, communicating with looks, occupying almost the same personal space, but not looking like they were all over one another. He had also noticed how most of the guys in the bar had stared at the blonde girl, but she hadn't noticed anyone other than his former angel of a friend. It was weird to Dean that Cas was the one that had found happiness with a girl. Things with Lisa hadn't worked, and neither did the situation between Sam and that Amelia chick.

Dean had noticed that Amriel seemed like she was doing a lot better in terms of blending in and not coming off all angel-y. It was a major change from when he had seen her mimicking him after they had taken down that Rit Zein. He decided that he was happy for Cas, and he really hoped that he and Amriel returned to that tiny town and settled down for good.


	18. Lost

Cas and Amriel returned to their motel without much incident. The blonde had driven, since Castiel was drunk, and she was surprised she had been able to drive without crashing. They had rented a car when they got to town and Cas had let her drive around the parking lot once to let her get the hang of things, and so she had little trouble driving the few blocks from the bar to where they were staying.

"See! I told you that you could do it," he grinned, throwing his arm around her shoulders as they walked to their room. "You're the best, Elle."

"Shut up, Cas-" she started, but his laughter cut her off.

"That's the most human thing you've said to me! Congrats."

"You're drunk. I think it's time we went to bed." Amriel slipped off her shoes and set them underneath the desk, a habit she had formed since they first started living in the motel in Idaho. "I'm going to brush my teeth and change. Are you going to do the same?"

Castiel had already collapsed on the bed and was shaking his head at the ceiling, making Amriel laugh as she grabbed some of her things from her bag.

"I won't be long, then. At least take your shoes and pants off before you fall asleep," she told him, remembering when he had once come back to the motel room drunk and tracked mud all through the room and ultimately into their bed.

She heard Cas mumble something in response, but she wasn't quite sure what he had said. So she shook her head and slipped into the bathroom with a plain white shirt and pajama shorts to change into.

When she was finished in the bathroom, she emerged with her hair piled on top of her head in a bun and she noticed that Cas hadn't moved an inch since she left, and she heaved a sigh, moving to stand in front of him.

"Cas, come on," she chided him, leaning down and grabbing one of his feet, pulling off the shiny black shoe and setting it down before taking off the other one. "You're acting like a child."

"And how do you know that this is how a child acts?" he asked, wondering how she knew all of these things.

"I watched a show called  _Supernanny_ , about children who were unable to behave and a 'nanny' who taught them how to act properly through punishments and rewards. This is one of the ways they acted." She started down at him and an idea suddenly hit her. "If you don't get ready for bed, there will be repercussions, Castiel."

Cas opened his eyes and leaned up against his elbows, watching her curiously as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"If you're going to act like a child, you will be treated as such. Go get ready for bed, or else you'll be sleeping on the sofa."

She had his full attention now, and Castiel groaned as he sat up fully, rubbing his face tiredly and nodding in defeat. Amriel smiled, a triumphant feeling spreading through her as she watched him get up and head into the bathroom, shrugging off his suit jacket as he went and hanging it up in the closet. She was surprised her idea had worked; she'd have to use it again in the future.

By the time Cas was done getting ready for bed, Amriel was already under the covers and the TV was turned on to some late-night movie that was absolutely awful. There was a glass of water and two ibuprofen on the nightstand on Castiel's side of the bed, and she nodded to it when he came into the room.

"You had a lot to drink tonight," she mused. "I don't want you to have a hangover in the morning."

Cas took the pills and swallowed them quickly before settling into bed beside Amriel and asked what his reward was going to be.

"What?" she replied, rolling onto her side to face him fully.

"Earlier you said that children are either punished or rewarded. I did as you asked, so I should be rewarded, correct?"

"Oh… Well, I suppose you're right. What would you like?"

Cas wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him, pressing a kiss to her forehead and smiling.

"This is all I need," he said quietly and Amriel beamed at him, pecking his lips quickly and saying that she loved him.

"I love you too, Elle. Let's get some sleep. We have much to do in the coming days."

* * *

Amriel was in the shower the next morning. Cas had already gotten ready for the day, dressed in the same suit he had worn the previous night. He was milling around the motel room, feeling restless for some reason as he did so.

Something just wasn't sitting right with him, and when Amriel emerged from the bathroom dressed in a pair of shorts and a black t-shirt he noticed that the feeling in his stomach didn't go away, and he began to worry. Normally her presence put him at ease.

"I was thinking that I could go around town and do some research. I've been reading the local newspaper and thought I could pose as a journalist from the neighboring town…" She noticed that he hadn't really been paying attention, staring off out the window as he sat on the couch. "Cas? Are you alright?"

He shrugged, saying that he wasn't sure. "You should go research if you'd like. I think I'll stay here, though. I'm not feeling too well."

Amriel stared at him for a moment, trying to assess him for any sort of injury or ailment before asking if he wanted her to bring anything back for him.

"No, thank you. I'll be fine. Let me know if you discover anything that could be of use, though."

Nodding, Amriel finished getting ready and grabbed her purse. She pressed a kiss to the top of Castiel's head and mumbled, "I love you," before leaving the motel and heading out to see if she could find anything more that could be of use to them.

Cas watched her leave, and once Amriel was out of sight he took a deep breath and shrugged off his trench coat before sitting on the bed.

He sat for a while, thinking about everything that had happened to him over the past few months. While he was living a somewhat quiet, human life, Sam and Dean were still hunting monsters. While he was struggling to figure out how to be a human, the Winchesters were risking their lives and dealing with the aftermath of the fall.

Should he have been doing more to help this entire time? Should he have fought Dean when he told him to leave the bunker? Cas shook his head- no. Dean wanted him gone for a reason, but he wondered why. The hunter wasn't always open with him, but Cas had hoped for some sort of explanation, only to be disappointed when Dean didn't give one.

Castiel had done  _everything_  for the Winchesters, but Dean couldn't give him a simple explanation, and now he was saying that they couldn't work together to figure out why this group of angels murdered another group.

It was infuriating, and probably the only thing keeping Cas from going off on Dean was the fact that Amriel was there and he didn't want her to get involved, even though she had gone off in her own way.

No one had ever really stood up for him before, honestly, so it had surprised him when she basically told Dean off for denying their help, but now that he thought about it, Amriel was an angel who cared deeply and didn't like seeing others being put down.

Being human was stressful, and Cas had no idea how seven billion people managed to do it on a daily basis. He needed answers- to what, he wasn't sure, but he knew what he needed to do to hopefully get them.

Cas got up and kneeled beside the bed, then he closed his eyes and folded his hands, and let out a deep exhale.

"I'm… unfamiliar with this end of the process. Of course, no one may be listening, but um, I- I do need assistance."

Cas waited a few moments before opening his eyes and looking around. When he realized that nothing had happened, he frowned and sat on the bed with his legs folded, arms extended and his thumb and forefinger touching. He knew this as something called  _lotus position_ \- he had seen it in one of the yoga videos Amriel had watched online.

"I have questions, and there seem to be no answers."

He changed positions again, kneeling on the floor now.

"I wouldn't presume to ask for help if I weren't desperate, but I need help."

Castiel was standing now, his eyes closed and his arms extended with his palms facing upwards.

"I'm  _lost_."

* * *

Amriel left the motel and decided to leave the car in case Cas wanted to go somewhere, so she walked all the way to the bar. She was surprised to find that it was open despite the mass murder that had happened there not too long ago. Posing as a student journalist, Amriel asked the bartender and a few of the patrons questions about the bikers, whether they were regulars or new to the area.

It turned out that the bikers had in fact been part of a group that frequented the bar, but it had been a while since they last stopped in. The woman behind the bar, Paula, had explained that she hadn't seen them since the  _"crazy meteor shower"_ , and the night of the murders, they had stopped in on their way across the country.

"They seemed a little off. Howie didn't get his normal bourbon- he ordered a damn lemonade," Pam had told Amriel, who wrote it all down on the small hotel pad of paper she had brought with her. "Didn't want to play pool, didn't talk about their ride in. Then that  _church group_  or whatever came in and everything went to hell."

She had stuck around for another few hours, talking to other patrons and trying to get more details about that night. When she felt like she had learned all that she could, she thanked Paula and left the bar, pulling her phone out of her pocket and frowning when she saw that she didn't have any messages from Cas.

When she got closer to the motel, Amriel stopped a mini mart and browsed the aisles, looking for something for Castiel to help him feel better.

He had seemed off when she left the motel. Something about the way he was gazing out the window, a far away look in his eyes worried her, so she had found a few of his favorite foods and candies to purchase for him.

She was putting her change in her wallet when she heard a familiar voice in the back of her mind.

_"I'm_  lost _… I need your guidance. Please, hear my prayer…"_  Castiel's voice filled her head.

Filled with a sudden dread, Amriel grabbed the bag from the counter and rushed out of the store, taking off into a sprint towards the motel. Why had he done that? Cas had to know how dangerous it was to pray to angels… Anyone could find them now.

When she got to their motel room, Amriel slid her key into the lock and fumbled for a moment before opening the door and stumbling inside, slamming the door behind her, her eyes widening at the scene before her.

Castiel was now staring at her, awestruck for some reason, and a woman wearing a park ranger uniform stood closer to the couch, and turned to face Amriel with a confused look.

"Amriel? What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you the same thing,  _Muriel_. I have been traveling with Castiel for months. I heard your prayer, Cas. What were you doing?"

Cas didn't have an answer for her. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, unsure of what to say or even do. So he just shrugged, and Amriel sent him a glare before turning to Muriel and asked why she was there.

"I heard a prayer. I thought it was just a normal human, and it turned out to be Castiel. I tried to leave, but he had questions, so I answered the best I could."

"What's that supposed to mean? You sought out another angel for answers?"

Amriel didn't want to show her disappointment and how hurt she was, so she masked her pain with anger and annoyance.

"Muriel has information about Bartholomew, who we already knew about, and Malachi, the anarchist, and how each side wants to crush the other."

"He's become equals with Bartholomew. In some ways, worse," Muriel interrupted.

"But there's still those like you who want to stay out of it… Like us," Cas said, nodding to Amriel, who was still eyeing the other angel wearily.

"Fewer and fewer. Each side is rounding up those who try and stay neutral," Muriel explained. "Angels are being tortured and killed if they don't pledge loyalty."

Castiel heaved a sigh, "It's worse than I thought, then."

"Each side wants to crush the other, overthrow Metatron, and rule Heaven… and Heaven under either of them would be…"

"Hell," Cas finished Muriel's thought, and the three stood there in silence, unsure of what to do or really say next when the door was kicked in.

Amriel jumped, turning to watch as an angel she knew as Theo, Urim, and another angel burst in. The three stared in horror, not knowing what to do now that they were under attack.

Finally realizing what she had to do, Amriel went to pull her blade from the back of her shorts when one of the angels grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head into the desk, disorienting her and making her vision go fuzzy. She vaguely saw them disarm Muriel and render Cas unconscious, and she heard herself shouting his name before her head came into contact with the desk again she was knocked out.


	19. Captive

Amriel had been alone for the past few hours. Urim, who had been had been torturing her, had grown tired of her screaming and the lack of information he was getting from her, so he decided to take a break. Before he left he had promised that he would be back, expecting her to think long and hard about telling him what he wanted to know.

She was too busy looking for a way to escape. A weakness in her bonds, a loose leg of the chair- anything, but Amriel couldn't find a way out. If she was stronger, maybe, but she had been in this same dark, tiny room for hours on end enduring the abuse from someone who was supposed to be a being of Heaven.

Angels weren't supposed to do this to each other, and the more Amriel thought about this, the angrier she became. Where was God in all of this? Where was  _Chuck_? She wanted to shout at him- to ask how he could let the angels go this far? It was disgusting how far they had fallen.

Urim kept asking about Metatron's plans. He thought she and Castiel were helping him with whatever he was doing on Earth, and no matter how many times she told him otherwise, Urim didn't believe it.

Her injuries were healing slowly, if at all. She was bruised and torn apart, her skin stung and she was having trouble breathing. Had he broken her ribs? That would explain the searing pain she felt with every inhale and subsequent exhale. Urim had been slow and meticulous at first, tearing strips of flesh from her thighs and back and laying them out like meat. Once he got bored of that, he became more careless, cutting jagged lines across her chest with his blade, laughing when her grace shined through the deeper cuts.

_"You're going to wish you had told me when you had the chance,"_  he had told her before he left, and that's when Amriel had started to cry. She knew that crying was seen as a sign of weakness and refused to do it in front of him.

That had been hours ago, though. She strained to hear what was going on in the other room, where she knew Castiel was being held. And what had they done to Muriel? They were dealing with a similar treatment, she knew that much. Amriel wondered how Cas was holding up. Being human certainly meant that he wasn't healing immediately afterwards. She had  _promised_  to protect him and she had failed. Amriel heard footsteps from outside and the doorknob turned, signaling that Urim was back.

She took a deep breath and held her head up high, staring down the angel she would end as soon as she got the chance. He sent her a sneer, asking if she was ready to talk. When she didn't respond, Urim loosened his tie and picked up the blade every angel carried with them.

"Tell us what his plans are! Where is Metatron?" Urim hissed, his face a mere inch and a half away from Amriel's. Her eyes were shut tightly as she tried to recoil, but she was stuck where she was.

He picked up one of the many tools he had been using and dragged the sharp knife over her tear stained cheek and down her neck before jabbing it into her chest, twisting as he pulled it out slowly. Amriel was groaning, her voice long gone after hours of screaming.

All she could think about were the nights she spent with Cas, watching television or being intimate. She couldn't handle much more of Urim's torture, so her mind conjured a safe haven to try and dull the pain. It had been working so far, so Amriel focused on more specific memories to occupy her thoughts.

She remembered how they spent their first Christmas, and Marissa had forced them to kiss under mistletoe at the bar the three frequented. She thought of how they watched holiday movies and listened to Jingle Bells and the Twelve Days of Christmas, and when they exchanged gifts on Christmas morning. She had given him a watch, since he never knew the time or date, and he had gotten her a beautiful piece of jewelry— eight tiny, raw emeralds strung together on a thin silver chain that she had promised to never take off.

In the back of her mind she could hear Castiel's voice- he was praying to her, letting her know that they would be okay.

_"Amriel, I'm not sure if you can hear me, but I'm going to try this anyways. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get us out of here. Please hold on for a little bit longer… I love you,"_  his voice cut off and she realized that he must have been interrupted.

A sob escaped her and Urim laughed, "Come on, you've been so much fun. Tell me, what is Castiel planning with the Scribe? He  _is_  your lover, isn't he? None of us are surprised that rebellious little Amriel would turn out to be the traitor's whore. Do you know how  _bright_  your graces glowed when you were within twenty miles of one another in Heaven? Too bad the almighty Castiel is a human now- you two were destined to do great things together."

"Please, stop," she breathed, shaking as she felt her grace working overtime to heal all of the damage Urim had been doing to her. She had no idea how long she had been here for, but she  _had_  heard Castiel shouting in pain earlier. She pushed what he had revealed to her in the back of her mind and glared at him. "What are you doing to him? He isn't planning anything!"

"How could you choose  _him_  over everyone else? Over Heaven?" he was yelling now, screaming in her face as he thrust the blade into her stomach, and she realized that she would probably be dead by now if he had used his angel sword. "You're disgusting. Tainted. There will be no place for you in Malachi's kingdom."

Suddenly Urim's name was called from someone in the other room and he slowly backed away, turning to face the door as he set the knife down. "I'll be back for you later. We're nowhere near finished."

"I won't tell you anything," she told him, her eyes hard as she stared him down. "I love him, and nothing on Heaven or Earth will stop that."

Tensing, he took three, long steps across the small room and stood right in front of Amriel, taking a hold of her face and squeezing her cheeks roughly, making sure to leave bruises beneath the dirt and blood that covered her skin. "I remember when you were punished for rebelling. If you thought that was painful, you haven't seen anything yet."

* * *

"This is a bonus, Castiel. We were tracking Muriel, cowardly holdout that she is," Malachi motioned to Muriel, who was tied to a chair, and her face was just as bloody and bruised as Castiel's, "and wonder of wonders, she led us to you."

"Not knowingly," Muriel shot in defense, and Malachi rolled his eyes.

"I stand corrected. Not knowingly.  _Stupidly._  And I was pleasantly surprised to find Amriel with you as well. We had been looking for her…"

"I've explained in detail," Castiel sighed. "I don't know how Metatron's spell worked. Therefore, I can't assist in reversing it. I was an unwitting accomplice."

Malachi let out a chuckle, "Ohhh, a dupe! The great Castiel.  _Valued_  and  _trusted_  Castiel!" He walked over to a tray of metal devices that sat near his hostage. "Top-of-the-Christmas-tree Castiel! No more than a dupe… Well, dupe or mastermind, you were inside the circle. You know where Metatron's weakness lies."

"No, I don't," Cas shook his head adamantly, trying to keep himself together despite being beaten not too long ago.

Sighing, Malachi called for Theo, who advanced on Castiel with an angel blade. Theo grabbed the former angel's hair and pulled his head back, earning a groan of protest as he dragged the blade down Castiel's chest.

"You'd suffer, even die, for your beliefs. I get it," Malachi said as he watched Theo work. "But is Metatron, whose poll numbers have totally tanked, worth your life? More importantly, is Metatron worth  _Muriel's_  life?"

"No, no. She's innocent! You leave her alone," Cas rasped before taking a deep breath and trying to will away the pain he felt.

Malachi hummed, saying that he had no intention of touching her. He looked to Theo, who nodded.

"Virtue is it's own punishment," Malachi told Castiel, who could only beg for them to stop.

Theo stabbed Muriel in the chest with the angel blade, and Castiel shut his eyes tightly to keep the bright, white light from burning them. In that quiet moment, Cas took the time to offer a silent prayer to Amriel, and he hoped that she could hear him despite what was being done to her.

"Amriel is next if you continue to lie to me, Castiel. I can tell you've become fond of her, and I know Urim is having fun with her right now."

"Leave Amriel out of this," Cas wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to her. "She has nothing to do with Metatron. Angels butchering angels. Is this what we've become?"

"Just following your example, Castiel. How many did you kill in Heaven? How many in the Fall?" Malachi saw a confused look cross his bruised face. "Oh, you didn't know? A  _host_  of angels died when they fell— Azrael, Sophia, Ezekiel… 'Died' doesn't even begin to describe it. Devastation. Wings shredded, unspeakable agony at  _your_  hands. So, I think you would want to provide any information you have, considering.."

When Castiel didn't reply, he shrugged. "All right. I leave you in the hands of an artist."

Malachi turned to Theo and said, "I don't care what's left" before calling for Urim. When the angel finally appeared from behind the closed door, the two disappeared, but not before Castiel could see that Urim was covered in blood that clearly wasn't his own.

Cas hoped that Amriel had heard his prayers to her. It was all he could do to let her know that he was alive and that he hadn't given up.

Theo stood in front of Cas and grabbed a drill from the tray, turning it on to make sure it worked.

"I'll give you one last chance for this to end," Theo told him, and Cas shook his head, closing his eyes and tilting his face up.

"Give me a quick death," was all he said, and then he waited for his life to end. He would never see Amriel again. He would never hear her laughter, or feel her skin against his. His life was going to end, and then Malachi would most likely kill her too-

"I need you to speak to Metatron. Everyone knows you have influence."

Castiel's eyes shot open and he stared up at Theo, amazed by his statement. This could be his chance to escape- to get Amriel and run.

"He'll listen to you. Ask him to raise me to Heaven. You can do this, Castiel. I'll be a soldier for Metatron, do anything he wants." Theo seemed convinced that this was the right decision for Cas to make, when really it was probably the worst thing imaginable.

"You- you serve Malachi," Cas tried to understand why he had defected.

"I thought he was the answer, but he's crazy."

Castiel stared at his brother, someone he had fought beside in countless battles over the centuries, wondering where everything had gone wrong. "You're just noticing this now? You were more than willing to do his dirty work."

"I did what I had to do," Theo told him, and Cas shook his head sadly and said, "When you were sure he would beat Bartholomew."

"But no one will survive this war. Perhaps if you ask Metatron, he will restore your grace."

Those words hit him harder than any punch he had received while being tortured. He knew exactly what he had to do in order to protect himself and Amriel, and he only hoped he could get through to Theo and get out of this place.

"Okay, it's true. I still have a working relationship with Metatron, and he could use a skilled soldier like yourself. Oh, but I don't know…"

"I-I'm a team player, Castiel," Theo offered eagerly, and Cas sent him a fake smile.

"All right. Well?" He gestured to his handcuffs, and Theo undid them quickly. "We have to get Amriel. I won't go anywhere without her."

"Of course. And then what?"

"I'll need a moment to make contact with Metatron, and you have something that I'll need."

Theo nodded as he walked towards the door where Amriel was being held, "Anything, brother."

Cas grabbed a scalpel off of the tray that held all of the weapons they had been using on him, and he latched onto the back of his jacket and swung him around, holding the blade to his throat.

"I'm sorry, brother, but I have to do this." Castiel sliced into his throat and breathed in the grace that flowed out of the wound. Once the grace had transferred, Cas pressed his hand against Theo's forehead and watched as bright light flooded from his eyes and Theo fell to the floor, dead.


	20. Overwhelmed

Castiel, now more alert and hyper-aware of his surroundings thanks to his newly acquired grace, headed through the door he had heard Amriel's screams emanating from not too long ago. He wasn't sure what he was going to find once he walked into the room, so he took a deep breath and entered quickly, keeping his eyes on the floor until the door had closed behind him.

His heart stopped and he felt the strange sensation of bile rising in his throat. Was he going to vomit for the first time in his existence?

Amriel was tied to a chair in the center of the room, a metallic tray wheeled up to the side of it and he saw that many of the tools were covered with blood. Her long hair was no longer the blonde it usually was- instead, it was matted with dark blood and she was covered in it too. Her clothes were torn and her entire body was slack against her bonds- she was unconscious. Castiel could clearly hear her screams resonating in his mind and he shuddered, fighting the anger that was quickly consuming his entire being.

Her outward appearance wasn't what horrified him the most, though. Cas could see her grace for the first time since the angels fell, and instead of the bright, glowing, lively light he remembered it as in Heaven, the grace was dull and reminded him nothing of Amriel.

Every time he had seen her in Heaven flashed through his mind and he knew it must've taken a lot to get her to this state. He could only imagine what they had done to her and while he knew that he could heal her injuries, he hoped that he could do something to restore her grace to its original state with what little power he had now. With time and rest, it would heal and regenerate, but Cas knew that with everything that was going on Amriel wouldn't sit back while he went after Metatron.

The girl began to stir, her face tightening in pain before her eyes fluttered open and she let out a low hiss, trying to sit up only to find that she was still bound. Castiel watched her eyes widen as a choked sob escaped from the back of her throat and his heart broke as he saw her panic, so he quickly moved forward and began to untie her.

"Please- no more. I can't help you! I don't know  _anything_ " she yelped, her eyes unfocused and unaware that it was Cas that had come to her aid. All she could see was the bright light of a strange grace and that was all she needed to know she was going to be hurt again.

"Hey, it's me. I'm here now, and we're going to get out of here, I promise," Cas told her, remembering his words to her only a few days ago when they had first been brought to this place. When she didn't say anything, Cas stepped back once she was totally freed from the chains and saw that she was staring up at him with her mouth hanging open, so he asked if she was all right.

"Th-that's not your grace," she managed to sputter, her voice dry and hoarse from all the screaming she had done. Amriel was horrified and relieved at the same time and she had no idea how that was possible.

He had a grace that wasn't his- she could see it clearly, pulsing and glowing and full of heavenly intent, but it didn't give off the same light he once did. Castiel had  _stolen_  a grace, something that had never been done before, and she needed to know why he had done it.

Cas heaved a sigh and nodded, "I know. I only took it because I had to. I needed to get to you before they came back and I wouldn't have been able to if I was human. I didn't want to, Amriel, I swear. Do you think you can stand? I don't know how many there are guarding the exit."

The girl attempted to rise from the chair, only to stumble forward into Castiel's waiting arms. He hugged her tightly before pressing a kiss to her chapped lips, wondering how long it had been since he had last kissed her. Cas kept one of his hands on her waist and moved the other to her cheek, focusing his new grace and healing whatever he could and he felt Amriel flinch under his touch.

As soon as he was done, she backed away and stared up at him, pushing her hair out of her face and frowning. Castiel tilted his head to the side, confused by her sudden distance and he opened his mouth to ask for an explanation, but she cut him off.

"I- in the words of Marissa, I'm  _freaking out_  right now, Cas. I'm not sure what to feel- whose was it?" she asked quietly, moving back when he tried to take a step towards her. "Don't! Whose grace did you steal?"

"It was Theo's," he answered gently as he carefully approached Amriel, who was now backed against the wall. "I'm going to get my grace back, Elle. But we have to leave this place now. Can you walk?"

Amriel couldn't handle this. She looked at Cas and all she could see was Theo's bright grace staring back at her. It looked angry, almost. Upset by its current host. How was she supposed to look at him now? She shook her head, trying to get rid of the thoughts that were racing through her mind and the disgust that she felt towards the grace that resided inside Castiel.

He was still just Cas and that's what mattered. She just had to push aside everything her weak grace was doing to get her to run away from him. When he wrapped an arm around her waist she felt her grace surge just barely, almost like it was trying to fight him off. Amriel repressed the feeling and returned the gesture, leaning against his side and letting him support her weight.

They walked out the door and Amriel gasped when she saw Theo and Muriel's bodies on the floor. Cas tightened his grip on her momentarily before letting go, "Others are coming. Please, stay back."

Amriel watched as three angels, including Urim, entered the room, and all she could do was stare in horror as Castiel killed them all. Urim had been last, and Cas had made sure it was a painful death. He had deserved nothing less for what he had done to Amriel, and Cas enjoyed watching the white light disappear from Urim's host.

"Come, Elle. We have to leave now," Cas said in a rushed tone, like he hadn't just killed three of their own. He took her hand and led her out of the building they had been held captive in.

"I have to call Dean and tell him that Ezekiel isn't the angel possessing Sam. He was killed in the Fall," Cas said as they walked through the parking lot. "We'll steal one of these cars and drive until we're a few towns away, then figure out what to do from there."

Where did this confident Castiel come from? He spoke with such an authority that Amriel wondered if she even really knew him.

"I'm sorry I didn't know it wasn't him," she apologized quietly. "I'd never met Ezekiel, so I wouldn't recognize him either way."

"It isn't your fault, Elle. We just need to figure out who's inside Sam and why he lied about his name."

* * *

Once they were on the road, Cas drove until they found a gas station with a payphone.

"Please stay here while I call Dean. Will you be all right alone for a few minutes?"

Amriel nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest and leaning her head against them. She watched Cas walk away, wondering if she truly was okay.

Cas dug through his pockets and found enough change to place a call, and he dialed Dean's number before holding the phone up to his ear. Once he picked up, the angel immediately spoke, "Dean, I don't have a lot of time, so listen. The leader of the opposition is an angel called Malachi."

_"How do you know that?"_  Dean asked, an impressed tone coloring his voice.

"He had us. Amriel and I were tortured, but we got away."

_"How?"_ There was that word again. How?

"I… I did what I had to do. I became what they've become- A barbarian."

_"Is Amriel okay? Is she with you? Where are you?"_

Castiel glanced through the open door of the phone booth and saw the blonde staring into space blankly, and he felt a wave of concern wash over him.

"Yes. She'll be okay. It's better if we stay away, though. They're gonna want me even more now. But we'll be all right. I… I got my grace back. Well, not mine per se, but it'll do," he rambled on, before realizing that he only had a limited amount of time on the phone.

_"Wait, you're— you're_ back?  _You got your mojo?"_

"I'm not sure. But I am an angel." Cas couldn't get the look in Amriel's eyes when she first saw him with a grace out of his head. She had been afraid of him, he knew it…

_"And you're okay with that?"_

"If we're going to war, I need to be ready."

The Winchester paused for a split second before heaving a sigh,  _"Cas…"_

"Dean, there's something else."

_"What?"_  Dean asked impatiently and Castiel almost rolled his eyes.

"Didn't you say Sam was healed by an angel named Ezekiel?"

_"Uh, yeah. Why?"_

"Ezekiel is dead."

_"What?"_

"He died when the angels fell…"

Dean said a quick thanks and hung up after telling Cas to be safe.

Cas placed the phone on the receiver and walked back to the car, and the two angels continued their drive in silence until Amriel turned on the radio and fiddled with the dial.

The sounds of the Top 40 hits floated through the speakers of the gold Lincoln Continental they had taken, and Cas focused on the open road ahead of him while the blonde played with the hem of her torn shirt.

"I want to go home, Castiel," she said quietly, unable to take her eyes off of his hands as they grasped the steering wheel. He turned and looked her over, taking in her small demeanor and frowning at the sight of her grace. He ached knowing that it was  _his_  fault and all he wanted to do was fix her.

"I know… We'll find Metatron and reverse the spell so we can unlock Heaven, I promise you that." He saw that she was shaking her head and he raised a dark eyebrow, confused by her reaction.

"Not Heaven. The motel.  _Our_  motel, where we've been safe from all of this. If  _that_  is how angels act now, I want nothing to do with it. Heaven will never be the same after what's happened."

Cas understood what she meant, and he felt a similar way. If Heaven was restored, would he even be welcomed back? Would he even  _want_  to go? Now that she mentioned it, though, Amriel's idea seemed like a good one. It'd be easy to just drop everything and return to Idaho- to the Gas-N-Sip and Marissa. But he had to do whatever he could to deal with Metatron first. Then he would figure out what to do after that.

"We shouldn't have left in the first place. If I had known we would be abducted and they would torture you-" his usually deep voice cracked, unable to look at her knowing he'd have to see her dull grace and the blank look on her face. She was more upset than she was letting on, and he could tell. "I should've gotten to you sooner."

He heard Amriel gasp and that's when he spared her the smallest glance. She was staring at him with an open mouth, her eyes wide with confusion as she shook her head.

"I'm the one that was supposed to protect you. It's my  _duty_ \- God himself told me to watch you and I let Malachi torture you." Amriel was starting to fall apart. Her heart was racing and her breath was coming in short, shallow rasps. Her stomach was churning and she felt bile rising in her throat.

She had  _failed_ , and that's not something angels did.

Theo's grace was overwhelming her, the thought of Castiel taking what wasn't his.

"Pull over, please. I ca-can't breathe."

Amriel was out the door as soon as the car had pulled to a stop, then she hurtled towards the grass where she landed on her hands and knees before she threw up, choking and gasping as she dry heaved. She didn't even realize that Cas had followed her until she felt him moving her hair out of her face and rubbing her back soothingly. It felt better to be out in the open air, especially after being trapped for days and the confinement of the car. When she finally sat back on her shins, she saw that he was kneeling beside her, a look of concern written all over his face and he asked, "Are you okay?"

Was she okay? She had no idea. All she knew was that she had failed and as a result Castiel had stolen another angel's grace. So many things were running through her mind and she still felt a little sick, but she nodded anyways.

"I think I'm the first angel to ever vomit," she said, managing the send him a small smile and it only widened when she saw the way his eyes lit up as he rose from the ground. Amriel made an attempt to stand, but she faltered and Cas was quick to catch her. He held her tightly against his chest and pressed a kiss to the top of her head like he always did. Standing there on the side of the highway, Amriel could hear his heart beating in his chest and she closed her eyes to block out the grace emanating from him. Maybe that was contributing to her upset stomach, but she wasn't positive. They stood like that, wrapped in each other's arms for a few minutes before Cas squeezed her shoulders and held her at arm's length, asking if she was ready to go.

"I'm ready," she said with a nod, letting him take her hand and walk her back to the car. Cas made sure she was comfortably seated and buckled before he shut the door and getting in the driver's side. They were back on the road, heading for the bunker Castiel had mentioned earlier when they were searching for a car to steal. He knew that's where Sam and Dean would be, and Cas felt like he had to go and see if he could offer any help to the Winchesters, but they had to pick up a few things first.

* * *

They returned to the motel they had been abducted from and retrieved their belongings before driving to a different one a few hours away, just to put some distance between them and Malachi. Cas wanted to keep driving through the night, but Amriel was growing restless in the car and he didn't want her to get sick again. So here they were, a small room with a king sized bed and a fuzzy tv, but it was all they needed.

Castiel wasn't tired whatsoever, and he found himself missing the sensation. It surprised him because Amriel was exhausted. He figured that it was just her grace trying to regenerate, but that didn't explain the past months they had been together. He felt no hunger or fatigue, but she slept and ate on a somewhat regular basis. Perhaps it was because she was a different level of angel, or the fact that her grace had been so damaged during the fall, or maybe she just wanted to fit in and appear human- he couldn't be totally sure though.

Regardless of the fact that he didn't need to shower, he all but dragged Amriel into the bathroom and turned the water on, watching the steam fill the small room as he helped the sluggish girl undress before he disrobed as well. Ushering her into the shower, Cas had her stand under the stream of hot water as he poured shampoo into his palm.

"Turn around, please," his voice was soft and she did what he asked. Once her back was facing him, Castiel began to wash her long hair with more care than he had ever shown before as an angel. He watched the tiny bubbles begin to foam and he massaged her scalp, trying to ignore the dullness of her grace. Cas couldn't believe what Urim had done to her, and all he wanted to do now was take care of her. How could somebody hurt  _his_  Amriel? He was glad he had killed him, and would do it again in a heartbeat.

"Cas?"

He noticed that she sounded tired, but he heard a quiet moan escape from the back of her throat so he knew he was doing something right.

"Yes, Elle?" he replied, turning her around and tilting her head back into the stream to rinse her hair. She stared at him, but Castiel could tell that she wasn't really looking at  _him_. "It's this grace, isn't it?"

Amriel was silent, her gray eyes searching his as she tried to figure out what to say. Was she supposed to be honest with him or should she lie? She thought about all of the movies she had seen where someone lies about what they're feeling, and how the lie is always found out in the end and the person that was lied to gets hurt. She didn't want to hurt Cas, so she knew she had to tell the truth.

"Yeah," she nodded, keeping her eyes on his the entire time she spoke. "I don't know how to see past it. Every time I look at you I see  _Theo's_  grace and I just don't know what to do because I can see it trying to reach out to mine or something. I have to keep it away because it isn't  _yours!_ " Her outburst caught Castiel off guard. That wasn't what he was expecting to hear whatsoever… He had no idea that the grace had been seeking hers out. Cas would have to keep himself in line from now on.

When angels' graces touched, it was powerful. Something that could destroy mountains. When it was an intimate touch, amazing things could happen. It was told that thousands of years ago two angels that loved each other more than God himself took vessels and met on Earth in South America. When their graces melded together momentarily during the throes of passion, the Amazon rainforest was created. One of the angels was killed during a battle and the other fled to Earth to be in solitude for the rest of eternity. They both knew this story well; it had served as a lesson against love during their formative years.

"Are you insinuating that if it were my own grace, you wouldn't mind?" He didn't want to read too much into it, but he knew the stories of angels being in love. They were taught that it never ended well, but he had never seen it for himself.

"I wouldn't mind at all," she shook her head and set both of her hands on his biceps. "I love you, Castiel. I want to be as close to you as possible, but only you. Not you with some other angel's grace. When we get it back, maybe we can re-plant the Amazon. But for now, I'll just settle for  _human_  intimacy." Amriel leaned forward and began trailing kisses along his neck and collarbone, eventually making her way up to his lips.


	21. The Bunker

As they laid together the next morning, a tangle of limbs and bed sheets, Amriel trailed her fingers up and down Castiel's chest, admiring his smooth skin.

"Urim told me something interesting while he was torturing me," she said softly, glancing up at him briefly, gray meeting blue. "Whenever we were within a relatively close distance- twenty miles he said, in Heaven, our graces became brighter. He might've been lying, but I thought it was something worth looking into. Chuck told me that we're kindred spirits of a sort… There might be a connection."

"Are you sure that's what he said?" When she nodded, his mind began to race and his eyes narrowed as he thought about it. It truly was interesting, as Amriel had stated. If it was true, then her arrival at the gas station made sense. "Why did you keep moving from town to town after the fall? What kept you running?"

Amriel shrugged, "I didn't feel safe. But as soon as I got to Rexford I felt such a relief, like I could stop running." She wasn't sure if she was explaining it as well as she should, but Cas seemed to get what she meant and he smiled. He felt safe with her too, but he had put her in danger and couldn't forgive himself for it. He couldn't forget the sounds of her screams or the way she looked when he found her, covered in her own blood and limp like a rag doll. The night before, he had a nightmare that he had found her just like that, only she was dead, her grace no longer illuminating the space she filled. In his nightmare, Naomi had appeared behind her body, a twisted smirk plastered all over her face.

_"You did this to her, Castiel. Her infinite life, snuffed out because you involved her in all of this! This never should have happened. She trusted you and this is what happened. This is what always happens when people trust you."_  Naomi had said this and more demoralizing, hurtful things in his dream and he had woken up in the middle of the night. Once he realized that he had been sleeping, Cas decided that he wouldn't be doing that anymore. At least he didn't have to sleep now that he was an angel again.

"Cas, do I have to go back to Heaven if we open the gates?" Amriel brought him out of his thoughts and he stared down at her. "I don't want to if it isn't necessary."

"What do you mean, you don't want to return to Heaven?" Cas asked, shooting her a confused look. That's all any angel wanted- that was all he had wanted when he was trying to prevent the Apocalypse with the Winchesters. But he wasn't sure if that's what he wanted now.

"It's going to be a mess. I don't want to be a part of their petty fighting, so I won't go back. It's not like I can, anyways," she frowned. Amriel knew her wings weren't in any state to be used. Every time she looked in a mirror she could see that her feathers had slowly started to grow back, but she had no idea if she could ever actually be able to use her wings again. Castiel must've known that she was thinking about them, because his fingers brushed along her soft feathers and she shivered at his gentle touch.

"They're still beautiful, Elle," he said softly and the blonde froze. She knew they  _weren't_  beautiful. He must just be saying that- like the men on TV. Amriel had learned in her months on Earth that humans lied  _constantly_  and usually over the most trivial things. Even Castiel lied to her every once in a while, but only about how he wasn't tired when he was really exhausted. She saw the way he looked at her, affection clear in his bright blue eyes and she knew he was being honest. How did he find them beautiful while she was disgusted by the very sight of her wings?

"They're offensive," she huffed, trying to ignore the way his fingers trailed along her newly grown feathers. "I had to pull some of them out myself after I took my vessel… It was awful."

Castiel was hit with visions of a frightened Amriel, huddled up somewhere pulling out emerald feathers that would do more harm than good if they remained attached to their host.

"I guess I'm lucky, though. Many angels suffered much worse than I did in the Fall."

He had seen it all from Earth, but he didn't know the extent of the damage until he heard that Ezekiel had actually died. Cas wondered just how weakened Amriel's grace had been when she fell and how long it took for it to heal- then he thought about how all of that recovery had been wiped away by Urim. Without a connection to the Heavenly host, it could take months, even years to regenerate properly. The idea of her being in pain for so long made him sick - metaphorically, though, since he no longer felt any human illness or pains. He had expected his emotions would be affected as well, but he glanced down at Amriel and felt a surge of love and complete devotion rush through him.

Castiel's phone began to ring, and with a groan he answered, listening to Dean's short command to get to the bunker  _now._  He hung up and placed his phone back on the night stand before rolling over to face Amriel, who was watching him with a confused look on her face.

"Is there anything you'd like to do before we go to the bunker? Dean needs us."

Amriel nodded, saying she wanted to have breakfast. Keeping her vessel nourished would make things easier on her grace, but it would still be a long process.

They went to a diner and once Amriel had gorged herself with pancakes and bacon, they paid the bill and left the diner. Cas had sipped on a cup of coffee while she ate, wanting to blend in at the busy restaurant, but he found that it wasn't as satisfying as it had been when he was human. They left the diner and Castiel helped the blonde into the car before getting into the driver's seat and they were off.

They had been on the road for nearly an hour, listening to the radio and chatting idly in Enochian and English, before Cas decided to bring up their destination.

"You should be rather comfortable at the bunker. It's a truly interesting place."

"I just don't want to be a burden to them… or to you," Amriel mumbled, looking over and taking in his profile. He was wearing a dark suit with a white shirt and a loosely done blue tie and a tan trench coat over that, and she remembered that was what he had worn when he first took the vessel of Jimmy Novak. Everyone knew how strong the Novak man was and Cas had told her that Hael had wanted to take the body because Jimmy was no longer there to give consent. She liked these clothes on him- they seemed to suit him. Wait, did she just make a pun?

"You're not a burden, trust me. Dean likes you a lot and Sam seemed enthralled. They don't trust people easily, that's for certain. You've earned Dean's after what happened with Ephraim, so believe me when I say that there will be no problems when we arrive at the bunker."

* * *

When they got to the bunker they found the door unlocked and Castiel didn't take that as a good sign. He knew that it was always secured.

Amriel looked around the bunker in shock- this wasn't what she had expected at all. The enormous, almost regal space was a disaster. Chairs were upturned, a broken lamp and papers littered the floor, and it was eerily quiet.

"What happened here?" she asked, and Cas shook his head, unable to come up with an explanation.

The blonde knelt down and began picking up the papers, noticing that many of them were about angels- Metatron, to be more specific. She was straightening them out to put on the large table in the center of the room when she spotted her name at the top of one of the sheets.

Setting the rest down, Amriel glanced at the page with her name written on it and she saw an artist's painting of a blonde angel, dressed in a billowing white gown with bright emerald wings that faded into a pastel and then to white, ascending into Heaven with her arms outstretched towards another angel with sandy hair and blue eyes. She noticed that both figures were glowing brightly that all of the other angels in the background lacked, and she squinted at the caption.

_"Amriel's ascent is received by her eternal partner."_

Why hadn't she seen this painting before? She knew of every piece of art that dealt with Heavenly beings. This painting was done by the High Renaissance artist Raphael, so it wasn't like it was an obscure piece. She noticed that someone had annotated the page, drawing circles around  _eternal partner_  and had written  _Cas?_  next to it. Amriel frowned. She would know if she had an eternal partner, whatever that was, wouldn't she?

The page went on to talk about her duties and how she was well liked in Heaven.

"Well that's an exaggeration," she thought out loud. Few angels knew of her or even acknowledged her before she had been punished for disobeying direct orders. "They researched me."

She handed the paper over to Castiel, who didn't look surprised whatsoever.

"It was most likely Sam. Dean isn't too fond of doing research," he told her, eyeing the picture curiously. "I've never seen that before. It must've been discovered somewhat recently- in the last ten years, I'd say."

"Where was this painter getting his information from? Why haven't I seen this before?"

Amriel was cut off when Dean entered the main room and dropped a bag full of weapons on the table.

"Dean," Cas greeted, glad to see his friend, but concerned at the same time.

"Cas. Now, look at you, all suited up and back in the game. Hey Blondie," he nodded to Amriel, who nodded back.

"I, um, we came as soon as you called. What happened here? What's wrong?"

Dean stopped rearranging the weapons in the bag and he stared up at Cas, telling him that they should sit down.

"Is there somewhere I can rest?" Amriel asked Dean suddenly, realizing that this was probably a conversation she should let them have alone. Cas turned to look at her, concern written all over, from his posture to his furrowed brows.

At first all he could see was her grace, the dim light trying to heal itself while keeping her vessel going. Then he looked with his human vision and saw that she was exhausted, and if he could see that then Dean could too.

"I'll take her to the room I used the last time I was here," Cas answered for the hunter, taking Amriel's hand and leading her down a long hallway to the third door on the left.

"Will you be okay here while I talk to Dean?" he asked once she had removed her shoes and laid down on the bed.

"Yes, Castiel, I'll be fine," she said, giving him a small, reassuring nod that didn't do much to calm his nerves.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, promising that he would be back in no time, and then he left the room, closing the door behind him. Cas returned to the main room to find Dean looking over the papers Amriel had been holding and he cleared his throat.

"There's some stuff I gotta tell you, Cas… Kevin is dead."

And then it went from there. Dean told Castiel everything. How he had let 'Ezekiel' possess Sam, and how it had ultimately gotten Kevin Tran killed.

"Sammy was dying. What was I supposed to do?" Dean asked, running a hand over his face and trying to hold himself together.

"You let an angel possess him?"

"He said it was the only way, and I believed him. Now Sam's gone. Kevin's…"

"Dean, I'm sorry." Cas wasn't sure what else to say. There was nothing  _to_  say.

"Yeah, well… Sorry don't pay the bills, does it? It sure as hell ain't gonna bring Kevin back. We gotta find that son of a bitch."

"If the angel possessing Sam isn't Ezekiel, then who is it?"

"A dead man walking," Dean said with a determined voice. He was going to do whatever it took to get Sam back.

"What, you're gonna destroy him?"

"Damn right." Dean's answer didn't surprise Cas, but he still shook his head and sighed.

"You kill an angel, its vessel dies, too. Amriel won't let you kill Sam, you know. He was apparently doing some research on her. Do you have any idea what it means?"

"Not a clue. You'll have to ask Sammy when we find him. We gotta find him, Cas. But I'm sure you wanna get some sleep or something first, huh?"

"I'm an angel again," he said, watching the Winchester's eyebrows raise. "I did something I'm not proud of, but I did it to save Amriel and myself. You couldn't imagine the things they did to the both of us, especially her- I can still hear her screams."

"Is she gonna be okay?" Dean asked, looking from Cas to the hallway that led to the room Amriel was in, worry written all over his face.

"Her grace couldn't keep up with everything Urim did to her… I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to extinguish it all together. It'll take time for her to recover," Castiel sighed. "Amriel told me her feathers had been growing back, but handfuls have been pulled out. I wish I could've made him feel what she must have felt before I ended him."

Dean could tell Cas was getting worked up, so he held up a hand and told him to calm down. He asked if there was anything they could do to speed up her healing process. They would need another angel in their corner if they wanted to find Sam.

"She would have to touch a soul, but even then I'm not sure how much help it would be." The angel shook his head and sighed, "Truthfully, the only way she could heal quickly and completely is if Amriel was in contact with the Heavenly host."

"What's up with all the angel on angel violence though? She has nothing to do with Malachi, Bartholomew, or Metatron."

"She was with  _me_ , that's why. They thought we had information about Metatron's whereabouts, and they were ready to do whatever it took to get that information. I did what I had to do to protect Amriel."

Dean nodded, knowing he would've done the same thing if Sam's life was on the line.

"We need to come up with a plan to deal with this angel. Any ideas?"

Castiel heard footsteps coming from down the hall and he looked up and felt a familiar warmth spread through his chest.

Amriel's hair was mussed, so he figured she had been tossing and turning as she slept. Her grace seemed a little brighter than it had been before, but it could've just been him hoping she was healing.

"Hey, Blondie, what do you think we should do to get this angel out of Sam? Could we stab him with that blade of yours?" Dean nodded for her to take a seat and she stared at him for a few seconds before realizing what he wanted her to do.

Pulling out the chair beside Castiel, she sat down and shook her head in response, saying that it was a terrible idea.

"If you try to kill the angel, you would kill Sam too. He's one of my charges- I can't let you do anything to harm him." Amriel rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms, trying to figure out how to get an angel out of a host without harming the human.

"Listen, Sam is strong. If he knew an angel was possessing him, he could fight. He could cast the angel out." Cas suggested and Dean thought about it for a second and nodded.

Cas took Amriel's hand and Dean saw her flinched in a tiny, almost unnoticeable way and he raised an eyebrow. Was he missing something?

"What's up with you, Amriel?" Dean asked, looking from her to Cas, then back to the blonde and trying to figure out what was off.

"I'm just drained," she answered, keeping her gaze on the table and yawning.

Dean shook his head, saying that it was something else.

"Does Sam know that there's an angel possessing him?" Amriel tried to change the subject, but the Winchester wasn't having it.

"As far as I know, he's in the dark. I don't know how we're supposed to clue him in. But answer my question. You look like you're gonna hurl," Dean turned to Cas, "Is she gonna hurl?"

"She did after we escaped Malachi's imprisonment, so I'm not sure. Her grace is reacting adversely to the one that I took. I'm going to figure out a way to get mine back. But we need to deal with Sam first. Do you remember Alfie?"

"The kid angel? Yeah. Why?" Dean tried to figure out why  _Alfie_  was relevant to this situation, but he couldn't.

"Before he died, he told me the demons were able to dig into his mind— access his coding. We might be able to do that here, to bypass the angel and talk directly to Sam."

"And you think that would work?" Dean looked from Cas to Amriel, and the latter shrugged.

"I don't know, but I think we should try," Castiel answered for the both of them, and Dean nodded.

"Why don't we go pay Crowley a visit then," Dean said, pushing his chair back and standing up. "We've got him locked up in the storage room."

Cas stood too, glancing down at Amriel and taking in the tired look on her face. He knew that he should feel more empathy like he had before, and he almost could. Her skin was pale and all he wanted to do was make her feel better, but there wasn't much he could do right now.

"Would you like to join us?" Cas asked, holding out his hand and feeling a familiar warmth when she took it.


	22. The King of Hell

Amriel glanced around the large room as Dean pushed some shelves out of the way, revealing an enormous devil's trap painted on the floor. A chair was in the center of the trap, and in that chair was a man dressed in a black suit, his arms and legs shackled and a dark cloth bag draped over his head.

Dean removed the cloth and stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest as the former King of Hell cleared his throat and looked around the room.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? Hello boys…" His brown eyes finally settled on Amriel and he perked up. "And just who might you be, love?"

The blonde didn't respond- instead, she moved closer to Castiel, trying to shrink behind his trench coat covered frame.

Crowley squinted before his eyes widened, "You're Amriel. I almost couldn't tell with how dim that grace of yours is! I've heard  _so_  much about you over the years. But let me introduce myself, I'm Crowley, King of Hell."

"Ex-King," Dean scoffed and Crowley shot him a dirty scowl.

"Well, I'm sure you didn't come in here to introduce me to the shiny, new member of your little gang," Crowley heaved a dramatic sigh. "So, what is it that you want from me?"

"Here's the deal. You're gonna tell us how to hack an angel, and I'm gonna give you some of the good stuff," Dean held up a syringe of blood, "Human blood, fresh from the tap. Word is you're jonesing for it."

"Please. I'll pass," Crowley said with a dramatic roll of his eyes.

"What do you want, then?" Cas asked, trying to ignore Amriel's closeness and focus on the task at hand.

"Well, for starters… A massage. Between the sitting and the shackles, a body gets a little stiff."

"Yeah… I ain't rubbing you," Dean shot back and Crowley's eyes widened.

"God, no. Get Kevin. His tiny fists can really work wonder-"

"Kevin is dead," Cas interrupted, and Crowley gave is condolences. "Don't pretend you care. You tried to kill him."

"I told him this was gonna happen. I was the only person who tried to warn him- I told him to run."

"From what?" Dean snapped, and Amriel could almost feel the tension in the air.

"You, of course. How many times am I gonna have to say this? People in your general vicinity don't have much in the way of a life-span," Crowley told him. "Now, I can't teach you how to crack open an angel. It's more.. art, than science. But I  _can_  do it for you. All I ask in return is a little field trip. I'm dying for some fresh air. Chains on, naturally."

Dean's immediate response was a firm  _no_ , and Cas nodded in agreement.

"No? Of course not. Because if I'm plan 'A' I'm sure you have a much better plan 'B.'"

Castiel pulled Dean aside and Amriel stood in her place, watching Crowley with a curious gaze as the two spoke.

"What are you looking at, girlie?" Crowley snapped, and Amriel shrugged in response.

"You're not really what I expected the  _King of Hell_  to look like, is all."

"I'm far more handsome, right?" he laughed, earning a small smile from Amriel. "I didn't expect the angel of May to be as adorable as you. Now I see why you and my old pal Cas were made for each other."

Before Amriel had the chance to press him to explain what he meant, Dean and Cas came back towards the center of the room where the demon was seated.

"So boys, it looks like we need a tiebreaker. But I already know who Angel Barbie is going to side with. Go get Moose, Squirrel."

Guilt crossed Dean's face and Crowley's eyes lit up with mirth.

"Unless, of course, you can't. That's why you're here, isn't it? The poor giant baby's in trouble again, isn't he?"

"Are you done?" Dean asked with a groan, rubbing his temple.

"Depends. Do we have a deal?"

Dean said yes, and Crowley asked when they were going to leave.

"As soon as I can scrounge up a ride," Dean sighed, turning to look at Cas and Amriel, who had already sent each other a quick glance.

"Well, we have a vehicle. It stopped a few miles from here, inexplicably," Cas offered, pulling a set of keys out of his coat pocket.

"I bet you're out of gas. C'mon, let's go."

* * *

The four walked the two miles to the car, Crowley between Dean and Cas, his hands shackled in the demon cuffs and his jacket carefully folded over his hands to conceal them. Amriel stayed close to Cas, keeping a careful eye on the demon as they approached the car.

"Really? What are you, a pimp?" Crowley asked Cas with a raised eyebrow, and Cas shrugged, saying that he liked it.

Dean was busy trying to start the car, and when he saw the "E" on the dashboard, he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, it's out of gas," he got out of the driver's seat, mumbling something about angels working at a gas station but not knowing when a car needed gas, and he went to fill the tank with the gas can he had brought.

"Riddle me this, boy wonder and girlfriend. Why do you need the wheels?" Crowley asked, looking from one angel to the other, wondering which would answer first. Amriel looked at the demon and frowned, surprised when Castiel spoke from beside her, and what came out of his mouth surprised her.

"When you betray us, I'll be the one to carve out your heart.

Crowley chuckled, "Oh Cas, such a flirt."

"All right, you two. Knock it off. Let's go," Dean cut them off, twirling the keys on his finger as he addressed them.

"Shotgun!" Crowley called, and Dean frowned.

"Uh, wrong. You're in the back," he pointed to the door behind the driver's, and Cas smirked, stepping over to the other front seat. "Hey, you too. Keep an eye on him. Ladies sit shotgun."

Crowley shot Cas a smirk and got in the back, and Amriel watched Cas roll his eyes and get in too. She quickly followed suit, listening to the two bicker in the back as she buckled her seat belt.

"Hey, hey hey! Stop it back there! I  _will_  turn this car around!" Dean had finally had enough of their arguing and put an end to it.

"Fine," Crowley huffed, turning his attention to the blonde in the front seat. "So, Barbie. Tell me. Just how good is our Cas here in bed?"

Amriel's head turned so fast Dean thought she gave herself whiplash. She stared at Crowley, a hard gaze in her gray eyes, and he just looked back at her expectantly, ignoring the anger radiating off of the angel sitting beside him.

"I don't see how it's any of your business. But, If you  _must_  know, he's a sexual deviant. Castiel does things to me that would make even you blush." She watched Crowley's jaw drop slightly and a small smirk crossed her lips, pleased that he believed her lie. Perhaps that would shut him up for a little while.

They stopped at an office building that Crowley had contacts at, and the next thing they knew they were on their way to Somerset, Pennsylvania, the last known location of the Impala, and where they would find the angel that was inside of Sam.

It took a few hours to drive to Somerset, where they tracked Dean's beloved car to a house in a quiet neighborhood. Dean got out of the Lincoln first, walking over to the Impala and running his hands over the car, making Amriel raise an eyebrow and turn to look at Cas with a confused look.

"He loves that car more than himself," he answered, and Crowley made a noise of agreement.

They watched Dean go into the house and Cas got out of the car, leaning down and telling Amriel to watch Crowley while he went in as backup. Before she could argue, Castiel was gone and she was left alone with the former King of Hell.

"And then there were two," Crowley said smugly. "But it's nice to have some alone time with a woman for a change. I've been held captive by Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass for who knows how long."

"I'm an angel, and you are beneath me," Amriel responded, staring him down as she spoke. "But, you are of use to us. Sam is one of my charges and I will do anything it takes to keep him safe."

"Ah yes, ever the dutiful one. I've heard about you, Amriel. Don't think you've flown under the radar for all these years."

Before she could ask what he was talking about, Dean and Cas came out of the house with an unconscious Sam, and Amriel jumped out of the car to help carry the giant man. They got Sam into the back seat of the Impala and Dean told Cas to take the Lincoln and follow him closely.

"Amriel, go with Cas. Make sure Crowley behaves himself."

She wasn't used to being ordered around by Dean, but she nodded and headed over to the car, getting in the back seat with Crowley while Cas started the car and waited for Dean to start driving.

"Why hello there, darling. Couldn't stay away, I see," Crowley smirked and Amriel inched closer to the door. "Don't be shy, I don't bite much."

"Don't talk to her, Crowley," Cas growled from behind the steering wheel, making the demon raise an eyebrow.

"Touched a nerve, did I? A bit possessive, if you ask me. Not very angel-like," he chided, and Amriel watched Cas tense up. She leaned forward and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently before returning to her previous position against the door.

Amriel turned so she could look at Crowley, taking in his vessel and understanding how he could have been the King of Hell. He may have been small in stature, but he made up for it in grandiose.

"What was it like being human, Castiel? I myself haven't been one for centuries." Crowley continued to prod at Cas, and Amriel was losing patience with him quickly.

"You will not speak to him for the duration of the ride, Crowley. Instead, you and I will have a civil conversation. No snide remarks or rude comments," she finally told him, catching Castiel's eye in the rear view mirror and nodding when he shot her a thankful look.

"How does a demon like yourself know so much about me? I'm a mere watcher. I'm of little importance in Heaven." She wasn't sure how long they would be driving for, so she figured she could try and get some answers out of him.

"That's where you're wrong, Barbie. You're not just some angel that sits on the mantle and watches over every insignificant human that happens to be born in May. You're meant for much greater things, but trench coat here ruined that when he let his grace get stolen." Amriel could practically hear Cas rolling his eyes at this point. "But as the King of Hell, it's my job to know these things. To know about those who are destined for more. However, what I know is just that. For me to know and for you to find out, darling."

The car pulled to a stop outside of an abandoned warehouse, and Castiel stepped out and opened Crowley's door, grabbing his arm and pulling him out roughly, shooting him a look.

"No tricks, Crowley," he said as Amriel got out of the car and shut her door, and she went over to help Dean get Sam out of the Impala.

"No tricks, Cas."

* * *

Sam was tied to a chair and warded handcuffs were secured around his wrists, his head and chin restrained. Amriel sat on a chair nearby, holding onto his hand to assess the damage and letting go only when he began to stir.

"Welcome to the party, pal. Amriel, how we lookin'?" Dean asked as he stood nearby.

"Most of Sam's internal burns are healed. I should be able to fix the rest." She turned from Dean to look back at Sam, not seeing the frown that crossed Castiel's face.

"What's your name?" Cas asked, "I thought I knew every angel in Heaven, but I've never seen you."

"Why would I tell you anything?" the angel snapped.

"Well, I don't give a damn who you are. You just need to get out.  _Now_ ," Dean answered, his voice reaching a dangerous tone that Amriel had never heard before.

"And if I don't?"

Crowley moved away from the wall he had been leaning against, "Then you and I will have a lovely little playdate."

The unknown angel rolled his eyes, "Even bound, I can rip this body apart. Tell them, Castiel."

"You do, you die," Dean answered before Cas could confirm the angel's threat.

"You want this to end? Go ahead, put a blade through your brother's heart. If it makes you feel better, I have Sam locked away in a dream. As far as he knows, the two of you are working a case right now — something with ghouls and cheerleaders."

"Why are you doing this, huh?" Dean asked. "We fought together, and I trusted you. I thought you were one of the good guys!"

"I'm doing what I have to do," the angel said firmly.

"Well, so am I." Dean nodded to Crowley, who picked up a large, thick needle from the tray and moving towards the angel.

"So am I," Crowley echoed the other two and he stuck the needle into the angel's temple and moved it around. The angel screamed, and Amriel looked away, unable to watch her charge being tortured like this.

Crowley continued to push needles into the angel's forehead and other temple, and Amriel was leaning against her knees now, holding her head in her hands and trying to tune out his screams. She felt a hand on her back and she looked up to see Cas giving her a small smile. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her hair, whispering in her ear, "He's going to come out of this, I promise."

Nodding, Amriel looked past Cas and saw that Dean was having a harder time dealing with this than she was. She pointed to Dean, grabbing Castiel's lapel and pulling him close so she could speak to him.

"Take him outside. I'll keep watch here, okay?"

"Are you sure?" Castiel didn't want to leave her alone if he could help it, but Dean suddenly moved towards the door and he had no choice but to follow.

Amriel watched the two leave before turning her attention back to Crowley and his work. She ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath, trying not to listen in as Dean and Cas spoke outside.

* * *

Castiel caught up to Dean and saw that his friend was barely holding back tears, and he felt something pulling at his heart just a tiny bit.

"Hey," he said lamely, unsure of what else he  _could_  say to the Winchester.

"I can't watch that anymore."

"I understand," Cas agreed. "It's not Sam, but— It's still Sam."

"Pretty much, yeah," Dean's voice cracked, but he kept going. "How are you doing?"

"You want to talk about me now?" He was surprised. Dean never asked how he was doing.

"I want to talk about anything that's not a demon sticking needles into my brother's brain," Dean looked out the window in an attempt to get himself under control, but the tears still pooled in his eyes. "So yeah, humor me, man. How you doing?"

"Uh.. I'm okay, I suppose." Cas stuffed his hands into his coat pockets, thinking about how he had left Elle alone in there.

"Good. Good. That's, uh… So, what, you just change out the batteries, power back up? It's that easy?"

"It wasn't easy, but I didn't have a choice. I had to protect Amriel," he answered, knowing he had made the right decision.

"Yeah. Well, that's usually how it goes," Dean paused for a split second, "Cas, I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Kickin' you out of the bunker. That's uh, you know, not telling you about Sam."

Castiel could see that Dean was having a hard time apologizing. The Winchester was never quite good at it, but neither was he.

"You thought his life was at stake," he shrugged, knowing that if he had stayed at the bunker he probably wouldn't have found Amriel.

"Yeah, I got played," Dean said with a humorless laugh.

"I thought I was saving Heaven. I got played, too."

Dean gave a weak smile, the first Cas had seen in a long time.

"So you're sayin' we're both a couple of dumbasses?"

"I prefer the word  _trusting_ ," Cas said with a small smile as well. "Less dumb, less ass."

"Laverne! Shirley! Get in here," Crowley's voice rang out from the other room, and the two quickly made their way back into the room.

"Pinhead's out cold, but watch this," Crowley said as he moved two of the needles, and the angel began to speak in Enochian.

"Zir noco iad Gadreel. Zir noco iad Gadreel," he repeated, and Amriel's eyes widened.

"What's he saying?"

"His name," both Cas and Amriel said at the same time, and Castiel continued. "Gadreel."

"Does that mean something to either of you?" Dean asked, looking between the angels, who were staring at each other with confused looks.

"Well, it's why I've never seen him. He's been imprisoned since the dawn of time. Gadreel was the sentry who allowed Lucifer into the garden," Cas explained.

"My, my," Crowley mused, "A celebrity."

"Wait, the garden? Like  _Eden_? Adam and Eve? Fig-leaves garden?" Dean wasn't sure whether to be impressed or horrified.

"It's his fault— all of it. The corruption of man, demons, hell." Cas was beginning to get worked up, Amriel could tell, so she quickly rose from her seat as he kept talking. "God left because of him. The archangels— the apocalypse. If he hadn't been so weak, none of it would have happened."

Castiel swiftly approached Gadreel and began to shake the unconscious angel.

"You ruined the universe, you damn son of a bitch!"

Amriel grabbed Cas by the back of his coat and swung him around to face her.

"Elle, you know what he did! He-"

"I know. But you need to calm down," she told him softly, taking his hand and pulling him away from Gadreel so Crowley could continue his work.

"What's taking so long?" Dean asked after what felt like ages.

"Other than the fact that I'm trying to unravel a living, multidimensional knot of pure energy, not much," Crowley snapped at the squirrel for ruining his concentration.

Gadreel gasped and opened his eyes, and Dean looked up in hopes of Sam, only to be disappointed.

"It won't work. You will never find your brother, so go ahead. Poke and prod. I can sit in this chair for years and watch you fail. I've endured  _much_  worse than this, Dean, and I have all the time in the world."

"Shut up! All right. Okay," Dean began to pace. "Plan 'B.' Cas, you gotta possess him."

"What?" Cas and Amriel asked at the same time, and Dean briefly wondered how they did that.

"Do it now! Get in there, tell Sam what's going on, and help him kick that lying son of a bitch out."

"It might work, but I can't possess a vessel without permission, and neither can Amriel."

Crowley cleared his throat, raising his hand as a volunteer, and Dean shook his head, "No. Not happening."

"Don't be daft. Demons can take what they want. I can burrow into that rat's nest of a head. I can wake Sam up. Just call me plan 'C.'"

"You can't! I won't allow it-" Amriel started to fight, and Dean cut her off, asking if she had a better idea.

"What about the angel?" Dean asked Crowley, who said that he'd work fast, and that he would run if he was found.

"Of course, if I do this, you're gonna have to…"

"Take off the leash. Yeah, I know," Dean sighed.

"And it stays off. I save Sam, I leave a free man. Do we have a deal?"

Dean turned to Cas, telling him to burn off Sam's anti-possession tattoo.

"Dean-" Castiel wasn't sure about this. Amriel had a worried look in her eyes that was making him uneasy too.

"Just do it, Cas!" Dean didn't want to hear it anymore. He had to do anything he could to get this angel out of his brother.

Nodding, Cas walked over to Gadreel and pulled down the collar of his shirt to reveal his tattoo, quickly removing it with a flash of light.

"If you mess with Sam, if you try anything—" Dean began is threat, and Crowley nodded like he knew the drill.

"I keep my bargains. Besides, I don't want to be inside your brother longer than I have to. I'm not one for sloppy seconds."

"When you find him, say 'Poughkeepsie.' It's our go word," Dean explained quickly, "It means drop everything and run."

"Fine. While I'm gone, hands off the suit. Well, maybe not you, Barbie," Crowley winked at Amriel, who felt her stomach churn with disgust.

"I will destroy you," Gadreel said as he glared up at Crowley, who smirked and answered, "Eat me."

A cloud of red smoke shot out of Crowley's mouth and flooded into Gadreel's. He was in Sam.

* * *

All they could do was wait. Dean paced the room while Cas stood behind Amriel, his hands on her shoulders as she watched Sam from her seat.

"Hopefully I'm strong enough to repair the rest of the damage he obtained going through the trials," she muttered to herself, wiping at her face with the sleeve of her hoodie and frowning. Amriel was angry that she was so weak- she had been doing so much better, and Urim had to go and ruin all of her recovery. There was no use dwelling on what was already done, though, she thought.

She felt Castiel's hands leave her shoulders, and the next thing she knew he was kneeling in front of her, a resolute look on his face that made her feel a little better.

"We will take care of Sam, no matter what it takes," he told her firmly, making sure she knew he meant it.

"It's been a while since Crowley went into him… Do you think he's found Sam yet?"

Cas could only imagine what was going on inside Sam's mind right now, especially with three beings in there at once.

"I hope so," he said quietly, not wanting Dean to overhear their uncertainty.

Red smoke began to pour out of Sam's mouth and back into Crowley's abandoned body, followed by a bright, white light that Dean had to shield his eye from, and Sam gasped as he regained consciousness. Amriel was out of her chair and had crossed the few feet to her charge in the blink of an eye, looking him over to make sure he was okay.

"Sam!" Dean was right behind Amriel, and Cas wasn't far behind either.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Crowley grumbled, going unnoticed by the three that were focused on the younger Winchester.

"Sam, are you okay?" Cas asked as Amriel worked on removing the needles from Sam's head.

The man was staring up at the blonde angel with wide eyes, wincing as she pulled the last needle from his temple. She released his head from the restraint and watched him roll his neck, hearing a pop that made her wince.

"Thanks, Amriel," he breathed out a sigh, and headlights flashed in the window of the warehouse.

Cas checked it out as Dean un-cuffed Sam, and Amriel helped the man stand up, letting him lean against her as he got his bearings.

"It's Abbadon," Castiel called out, and Crowley told them to go.

"Get out of here. The back door. I'll handle this," the King of Hell told them, straightening out his cuffs and smoothing the front of his jacked.

"Oh, 'cause you're such a good guy?" Dean snapped, making Amriel bite back a groan. They needed to get out of here now.

"Right now, I'm the goodest guy you got," Crowley shot back.

"This don't make us square. I see you again—"

"I'm dead. Yes, I know. I love you too," Crowley blew Dean a kiss, "Pleasure doing business with you, as always."

Dean and Castiel grabbed Sam's arms and helped him out the back door, Amriel following behind quickly, shooting Crowley one last glance and seeing him sit down in the chair Sam had previously occupied, readying himself for Abbadon's arrival.

They drove until Dean noticed Sam beginning to show signs of pain, and he had called the angels in the other car to tell them he was stopping. They were at a lake with a long dock, and it was pouring rain, but they were all standing on the old dock that probably hadn't been used in years.

Amriel was standing in front of Sam on her tip toes, slowly moving her hand over his forehead and healing some of the wounds the needles had left behind. Sam started to sway, and Amriel put both of her hands on his shoulders to steady him. Cas stepped in as well, thinking the Winchester would topple over and take Elle down with him.

"You feel better?" he asked Sam, who shrugged.

"A little, yeah."

"It'll take time to fully heal you. We'll have to do it in stages, and Elle and I will have to take turns," Cas told him, shooting Amriel a pointed look and she rolled her eyes.

Sam nodded, but he wasn't focused on the angels in front of him. Instead, he kept glancing at his brother, who finally approached the three at the end of the dock.

Cas, realizing this was going to be a private conversation, took Amriel's hand and led her back to the cars for a conversation of their own that he felt they needed to have.

"You don't have to take care of Sam all on your own, you know," he told her, watching an annoyed look cross her face. He found it hard to take her serious with the hood of her jacket pulled up and her wet hair sticking to her face and neck. All he wanted to do was return to the bunker and ravish her.

"It's my  _duty_ , Cas! He's one of my charges, and the only one I can help right now. I need to do this…"

"You need to let me help you. If you try this on your own, you'll drain yourself and you won't be able to recover from what Urim-" Castiel stopped, seeing Amriel tense up, and he knew he couldn't bring up those memories. "Just let me help, okay? You always helped others in Heaven. Let me help you here."

Amriel knew he just wanted to make things easier on her, but she was having a hard time letting go of her responsibilities as an angel. It was what she was created to do, and if she couldn't do it, there was no point in her existence, right? But she could see that Cas was sincere, and she knew that all she had to do was say yes and he would do whatever he could. So, with that in mind, she nodded in acceptance.

"Okay. We'll heal Sam together," Amriel gave in, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders as she smiled up at Cas. She took her hands out of her jacket pockets and tugged on the lapels of his trench coat, bringing him closer to her so she could press a quick kiss to his lips, burying her face in his neck and taking a deep breath. "Thank you, Cas."

"Anything for you, Elle," he told her quietly, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly. "All you have to do is ask."

Amriel heard footsteps coming towards them, so she pulled back from Castiel's embrace and watched Dean walking to the Impala, Sam not far behind. Dean got into the car slowly and slammed the door, the engine roared, and then there were only two angels and a single Winchester standing in the rain.


	23. Extraction

Amriel stood in the kitchen of the bunker, making herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich after having already given Cas his. They were chatting idly, their conversation moving from the things they saw on their ride back to what they were going to do about healing Sam, when the younger Winchester appeared from the other room.

"Hello, Sam," Amriel shot him a glance over her shoulder, "Want a sandwich?"

"No, thanks though. Hey, Cas."

Castiel, who had a mouth full of sandwich, mumbled out a "mm" in response. When he swallowed, he set the sandwich down on his plate and frowned.

"It tastes like molecules."

"What?" Sam asked, continuing before he could repeat himself. "What are you talking about?"

"I had to eat constantly when I was human, you know. It was kind of annoying," Cas continued to frown, and Amriel sat beside him.

"Yeah, a lot of human things are pretty annoying," Sam agreed, amazed that he was having this conversation with the angel.

"I enjoyed the taste of food, though. Particularly peanut butter and grape jelly. Not jam. Jam I found unsettling." Cas looked down at his sandwich thoughtfully, and Amriel smiled.

"He was really picky as a human. You don't know how many times he sent something back at a restaurant because he didn't like it."

"I seem to recall someone crying after she ate wasabi when we had sushi for the first time," Castiel reminded her, and Amriel felt heat spread over her cheeks.

"It was the first thing I had ever eaten that was spicy! I wasn't prepared—" Realizing that she was only making it worse for herself, Amriel fell silent and took a bite of her sandwich.

"So what, now you can't taste PB and J?" Sam asked, sitting across from them at the table and looking between them. "Can you taste it, Amriel?"

"I taste every single molecule," Cas said sadly, "it's overwhelming. It's disgusting… I miss you, PB and J."

"I eat because it keeps my vessel going and it helps me fit in with other humans. When I fell, I could taste food like a human would. As I grew stronger, it was just molecules. But if you focus hard enough, you can piece everything together. Castiel just isn't trying as hard as he could," she smiled, nudging Cas with her knee. "Are you sure you don't want anything, Sam?"

"I'm fine, really. Can I ask you two something… personal?"

Amriel looked from Cas to her charge and nodded, "You can ask me anything. I can't promise an answer, though."

"You got together when Cas was human, but now he's an angel again. How does that work if you're both angels?"

"It's just as it was before," the blonde answered for the both of them. "We're just feeling things out as we go. Romantic relations were frowned upon in Heaven and angels who defied the rules were punished or cast out."

"Just because I'm an angel again doesn't mean I can't feel emotions," Cas snapped suddenly, standing up from the table, surprising Amriel in the process. "We need to continue your healing. We're almost done."

Amriel watched him move around the table to stand in front of Sam, wondering where his outburst had come from. She continued to eat her sandwich, mostly out of habit now, while she watched Cas lay two fingers on Sam's forehead and start to heal him. A concerned look crossed his face and Amriel raised an eyebrow, noticing that Sam saw the look too.

"What?" Sam asked, looking to Amriel, who shrugged.

"N-nothing," Cas tried to be nonchalant, but Sam slapped his hand away.

"You're a terrible liar."

"That's not true, Sam. I once deceived and betrayed both you  _and_  your brother."

Amriel held back a laugh, knowing that it wasn't supposed to be funny. He had lied and opened Purgatory, absorbing all of its souls and unleashing the Leviathan upon the world.

"Okay, that's not the point. Cas, just tell me. What's wrong?" Sam stared up at the angel, something that he rarely ever had to do since he was so tall.

"I noticed something. It's um, it's resonating inside you."

"What?" Sam asked, and Amriel narrowed her gaze, wondering if it was what she thought it was.

"Something angelic," Cas clarified, shooting a glance to Amriel and motioning for her to come over.

Rising from her seat, Amriel stood in front of Sam now too, touching his forehead briefly and nodding in agreement.

"It's definitely angelic."

"Okay, so, what the hell does that mean?" Sam was starting to freak out, and Amriel didn't like that at all. She needed Sam to preserve his energy, and he was wasting it by worrying.

"Maybe we should call Dean…" Cas offered, and Sam got up from his chair, towering above the two angels.

"No. He wanted to go, and he's gone. We'll handle this ourselves."

And with that, Sam left the kitchen and Amriel sighed. She wanted to follow him, and somehow Cas knew that.

"Go and talk to him, Elle. I'll start doing some research," he told her with a small smile. "I want you to know that I'm glad you're here."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," she answered without a second thought, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. "Text Dean, though. I'm not sure we should be dealing with Sam alone."

Cas nodded before he leaned in and kissed Amriel once, twice, then a third time, savoring the way her soft lips felt against his. Before things could get too heated, though, he pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Go, before we get carried away and end up doing something here in the kitchen," Cas said with a grin that Amriel hadn't seen in days, and she smiled too, letting go of his hand and leaving the room to find Sam.

* * *

Amriel found the younger Winchester in the "war room" of the bunker, staring down at a book with a look of concentration on his face. She cleared her throat, announcing her presence, but he still jumped when he looked up and saw her.

"May I sit?" she asked, standing in front of the chair across from him, and he nodded. "Sam… I know what it's like to be  _on the outs_  with your sibling. I mean, Urim tortured me relentlessly for information I didn't have. Angels killed each other in civil wars."

"Yeah, but-"

"I know. It's nothing compared to the relationship you and Dean have. Cas has told me all about it, and I've gotten to see it for myself. The bond you share is strong, Sam. Give him time, and he'll come around. In the meantime, we'll figure out what's going on with this angelic presence in you."

Sam ran a hand through his shaggy hair, asking how she knew exactly what he needed to hear, and she shrugged.

"I've existed for eons. It comes with age," Amriel said thoughtfully before shaking her head, "But really, I've watched a lot of TV movies in the past few months. They're fascinating, really."

"TV movies?" Sam asked incredulously, amazed by the angel sitting across from him. Cas walked in with a stack of books and files in his arms, piled up to his nose, but Sam saw the way his eyes lit up when he saw Amriel, and it filled him with hope. If Cas was happy, then maybe one day he could be too.

"Okay, are we ready to get to work? I went through the library and found as much as I could on angels. I don't want to interrupt—"

"It's fine, Castiel," the girl smiled, grabbing a book and thumbing through the first few pages before putting it aside and grabbing another. "That book was about archangels, and of no use to us seeing as two of them are locked away in a cage and the others are dead."

Sam couldn't help but notice the way Amriel addressed Cas, whether by his full name or not, her voice always held the same loving tone to it, even if she was annoyed with him. He felt a small smile forming on his lips, and he shook his head, telling Cas to take a seat so they could get to work.

While they read, the angels talked back and forth in Enochian, and Sam was fascinated. Cas would read a phrase from the book he was going through, Amriel would work it out in English, and then they would come up with the translation. It was amazing that they knew as many languages as they did, but Sam knew it was to be expected of angels. He was a little jealous, but he was starting to pick up on some of the words the two were throwing around.

He watched them sitting next to each other, reading through their own books, and every once in a while Cas would look at Amriel and smile slightly before going back to reading. Sam felt like he was intruding on them, and he was just about to excuse himself to grab a cup of coffee when Cas raised his eyebrows and looked up at him.

"I've found something. It's a detail about when angels leave their vessels, I think," Cas furrowed his brow, "It's Enochian, which can be a bit flowery, you know.  _And the departed shall remain, and the remains shall be the departed_."

"Yes, it's not the most straightforward language," Amriel shook her head, glancing down at what Cas had just read and looking it over too.

"Okay, so, when an angel leaves a vessel, they leave behind a piece of themselves? Like… an angelic fingerprint?" Sam worked out what the passage was saying, and Cas nodded.

"Whatever you want to call it, this piece of the departed contains grace."

Amriel saw a look of worry come over Sam, who asked if Cas meant there was angelic grace inside of him.

"Yes, but it's fading each time we heal you," Amriel told him, trying to calm him down.

"Okay. Is that good or bad?" Sam asked, and Cas shrugged and said it was harmless.

"The grace itself might be helpful, though," Castiel said as he picked up a file that was labeled  _On the Inner Workings of Angels_. "According to this, we might be able to use the grace that remains inside you to track Gadreel, if we can extract it. However, it looks like it will be quite painful."

Cas held up a photo of a syringe with a 4-inch long needle, and Sam cringed.

"The Men of Letters believed that you could perform a tracking spell with extracted grace, but they were never able to test their theory," Cas continued, setting the photo down.

"Well they didn't have a guinea pig, but we do," Sam said, his eyes still on the picture of the giant needle.

"You have a guinea pig?" Amriel asked excitedly, "Where? Oh, I've seen pictures, but I've never seen one in real life. They look so soft and kind—"

"Me, Amriel. I'm the guinea pig. It's a figure of speech," Sam told her, trying not to disappoint her too much, but her excitement was squashed and she frowned and said, " _Oh._ "

"Any idea where that syringe is?" Castiel asked, and Sam shrugged, saying that it was probably somewhere in storage.

"I'll go find it. I'm pretty sure I know where it's at," the Winchester was up from the table before either angel could argue, and he was gone before they could say anything else.

Amriel heaved a sigh, "I really thought there was a guinea pig here."

"The Winchesters are full of metaphors and phrases that confuse me as well. You get used to it," Cas shrugged before he turned more serious. "Are you going to be okay with me extracting the grace from Sam? It will probably be extremely painful."

"If it's what Sam wants, I suppose I  _have_  to be okay with it. Just promise me that you'll stop before it gets too far. I won't let him die on my watch."

The angels fell silent and Amriel excused herself so she could return her plate to the kitchen. Castiel was going over the file one more time when Sam came back into the room with a box in his hands, and Cas asked the Winchester if he could ask him a question.

"You just did, Cas," he laughed, and the angel asked if he could ask another question. "Well, technically you just- you know what? Yeah, go ahead. What's up?"

"Sam, you chose not to go through with the trials for a reason, didn't you? You chose to live rather to sacrifice yourself. You and Dean… you chose each other."

"Yeah, I did. We did," Sam grumbled, not wanting to talk about this, especially not with Cas. "And then Dean made a choice for me."

Sam made his way towards the medical room and Cas followed quickly, glancing over his shoulder to the kitchen and wishing he could let Amriel know where they would be. She would probably find them, though.

"What Dean did-"

"It doesn't matter what Dean did. Look, I have to put a stop to all of this, Cas. I could've closed the gates of Hell."

"Oh, Sam," Castiel sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. He felt for the young man, knowing just how much he had put himself through over the years.

"Dean's gone, okay? This is on me now, and if I can find Gadreel… I can fix this." Sam set the box he had found on a table next to the gurney. He was busy taking off his plaid shirt when Amriel walked in, and his gaze shot up to meet her gray eyes. "Being a human means settling your debts."

He handed the box to Cas and took a seat on the gurney, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. "Let's start balancing the books."

Cas opened the small box to find the needle he had seen in the file, and he felt something in him sink at the thought of what he was about to do to the Winchester. He heard Amriel gasp, and he turned to see that her eyes were focused on the needle.

"It's much larger than the photo depicted… Are you sure you want to do this, Sam? If at any point you want to stop…" Amriel's voice was full of uncertainty, and the man on the gurney shook his head.

"I have to do this, Amriel. Thanks for your concern though. I know it's your job and all-"

"Yes, it's my job. I should be the one to perform the extraction." Her gaze moved from Sam to Cas, who was still holding the box containing the needle. "He's my charge, Castiel. Let me do it."

Cas frowned, knowing she wouldn't be able to do what needed to be done, especially after seeing how she reacted to Crowley digging around in Sam's brain when Gadreel was in control.

"No, Elle. I'll do it," he said with a firm tone, making Sam look at him curiously. He hadn't heard Cas talk to her like that before, but he hadn't been around them that much so he wasn't sure if this was a regular occurrence.

Amriel stared at him, her mouth open but nothing was coming out. She had no idea what to say… He had never said no to her before, so she moved towards Sam and pulled a rolling chair over to the gurney.

"Fine. I'll be here the entire time, just in case you want to stop, Sam. It'll be best if you lay down," she said gently, ignoring Cas as he walked up to the gurney and set the box on the tray.

When Sam was ready, Castiel inserted the needle into Sam's neck, just below his left ear, making the man gasp. Amriel was immediately out of her seat, standing on the opposite side of the gurney from Cas, looking down at Sam and making sure he was all right.

"Now comes the part that will actually hurt," Cas said apologetically, "I'm gonna begin the extraction, okay?"

Amriel watched him slowly pull the plunger and the syringe barrel filled with a minute amount of a shimmering grace. So what they had read in Enochian had been correct.

"Is it working?" Sam gasped, his chest heaving with every breath he took and a thin layer of sweat covered his face and chest.

"Yeah…" Castiel nodded, his brow furrowing in thought and Sam asked, "But?"

"I need to push the needle in deeper," he explained. "We need more grace to cast the spell."

Amriel was ready to put a stop to this all, concerned that it was going too far, but Sam gave the go ahead to continue.

"Sam, if I get too close to-"

"Damn it, Cas!" Sam snapped, "Just do it!"

Slowly, Castiel pushed the needle deeper and started to pull back on the plunger again. Sam's body lurched and Amriel jumped up, holding him down so he wouldn't hurt himself as Cas pulled out the needle.

"What the hell was that?" Sam panted, staring up at Amriel, who was still holding him down against the gurney.

"Your body is regressing to the state it was in before Gadreel possessed you," Cas explained, and he saw Amriel shoot him a concerned look.

"Do we have enough grace for the spell?"

"Sam…" Amriel said carefully, but the Winchester ignored her and looked up at Castiel.

"Do we or not, Cas?" he asked, and Cas shook his head.

"Then keep going," Sam told him before he finally looked at Amriel. "I need you to leave."

"What? No," she shook her head and looked from Sam to Castiel. "I'm not going anywhere."

"If you won't leave, you gotta promise to stay like ten feet away from me, or I swear I'll do whatever it takes to make being my guardian angel a living hell."

Amriel didn't appreciate Sam's threat, but she knew he was being serious. She looked at Cas and nodded.

"Fine, I promise. Have it your way, Samuel," she hissed, moving to the other side of the room and leaning against the wall near a filing cabinet. "By all means, continue."

Cas didn't like the way Amriel was acting, but he couldn't address it at the moment. Instead, he heaved a sigh and inserted the needle back into Sam's neck, trying to ignore the look of pain that flashed across his face.

He didn't know how long it had been, but Castiel hadn't been able to extract much more grace. Sam had screamed himself horse, and he was nearly unconscious by now. Amriel had held true to her word and remained in her spot, but by now, she was sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest and her face buried in her hands.

"Sam?" Castiel asked for what seemed like the hundredth time as he made sure he was still conscious. When he didn't reply, Cas asked again, "Sam?!"

"Keep going," was the man's weak reply, and Cas swore he heard a sob come from Amriel's side of the room. His head shot up and he saw her small form shaking, but as much as he wanted to, he couldn't comfort her at the moment.

"Why? Why should I continue?" he asked Sam, who tried to roll his eyes.

"We — we have to find Gadreel."

"No," Cas said as he started to slide the needle out of Sam's neck. "Why must you Winchesters run towards death?"

Sam's hand shot up, grasping the syringe that Castiel had been holding and stopped him from taking it out, "Don't! Don't stop."

Cas sighed, looking from Sam to Amriel and then back to Sam with a soft look in his eyes.

"Sam, when I was human, I died. And during the first few weeks Amriel was with me, she died. That showed me that life is precious, and it must be protected at all costs… Even a life as pig-headed as a Winchester's."

"My life's not worth any more than anyone else's. Not yours or Dean's, or Amriel's… or Kevin's. Please, help me do one thing right, Cas. Keep going." Sam's voice was so quiet that Castiel wouldn't have been able to hear him without his angelic hearing, and what had come out of his mouth had been enough to make Cas hesitate.

But this was what the hunter wanted, so Cas pushed the needle in further, trying to block out the sounds of Sam's screams.

Amriel couldn't handle watching Sam writhing in pain anymore, so she had slid down the wall to sit on the floor not long after Cas had started. When he had started to scream, she fought every single one of her instincts that told her to stop the extraction, but she had to adhere to Sam's wishes.

She thought of every time she had failed a charge in her existence, which had been few and far between, but some of those failures had been monumental and resulted in severe punishments. She hadn't even realized she had been crying until she felt the small droplets making their way down her cheeks.

Covering her tear stained face with her hands, Amriel tried to ignore what Sam and Cas were talking about, but it was hard to tune out Sam's hoarse voice telling Cas to basically send him to his death. He wouldn't last much longer, and Amriel wasn't sure if she would be able to keep her promise to Sam. She would gladly put up with his attempts to make her job difficult as long as it meant he was alive.

Amriel felt like she was being watched, so she looked up to see Cas gazing at her with an expression she couldn't quite read. She merely stared back, wiping away her tears and trying to ignore the smell of blood that filled the air.

She saw Cas shake his head and begin to withdraw the needle from Sam's neck, and he said, "Hold on. This may pinch."

"What the hell, Cas!" Sam tried to fight as Castiel pressed his finger's to his forehead. "Cas. What the hell was that?"

"I've healed your wounds completely," he answered, his eyes locked on Amriel the entire time he spoke, and she knew that he had done just that.

"And the grace?" Sam asked, sitting up and grabbing his plaid shirt, ignoring Amriel as she got up and returned to the chair next to the gurney.

"Well, whatever grace was inside you is gone now. What's left of Gadreel is in here," he held up the syringe and shrugged. "We'll just have to try the spell with what we have."

Amriel heard the Winchester quietly mutter  _damn it_ , and Cas shook his head.

"Sam, I want Gadreel to pay as much as you do, but nothing is worth losing you. You know, being human didn't just change my view of food. It changed my view of you. I mean, I can relate to how you feel." Cas avoided Sam's gaze as well as Amriel's, choosing to stare down at his shoes instead.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, confused by the angel's admission.

"The only person who has screwed things up more consistently than you, is me. And I know what that guilt feels like. And I know what it," Cas stopped himself for a moment, taking a deep breath and locking eyes with Sam. "I know what it means to feel sorry, Sam. I'm sorry."

"I know," Sam nodded, "We're all sorry."

"You know, old me, I would've just kept going. I would've jammed that needle in deeper until you died because the end justifies the means. I wouldn't care what Amriel would do to me after I killed you, because it would all be part of a larger cause. But what I went through, well. I learned that angels can change, so who knows? Maybe Winchesters can too."

Without a word, Sam got up and left the medical room, leaving the two angels alone once again.

Amriel refused to look at Cas, even though he had just kept Sam from sacrificing himself.

"Elle," he started, but she shook her head.

"No. I don't want to hear it," she crossed her ams over her chest. "It shouldn't have gotten this far. Taking that grace did something to you, and I'm not sure I like it."

"You didn't know me very well as an angel, Amriel. Not long ago I would've had no issues with letting Sam die. Being human changed me. Being with  _you_  changed me. I'm still the same Cas you found at the Gas 'n' Sip."

Castiel helped her out of the chair, his hand resting on her cheek and he wiped away a stray tear with his thumb, noticing how she leaned into his touch like she always did.

"I know it hurt you to have Sam going through that, and that's one of the many things I love about you, Elle. You're far too empathetic for your own good, even when we were in Heaven."

Amriel wasn't sure if he was complimenting her or what, but she wasn't going to stick around to find out.

"I'm going to go for a walk," she said as she took a step, backing away from him. "I'm feeling a little confined down here."

"Let me come with you. I'm sure Sam will wait to attempt the spell," Cas offered, but she shook her head and told him that she'd like to be alone.

She watched a look of hurt flash over his face but he quickly masked it with indifference and waved her off.

"The door to the bunker will remain unlocked for when you wish to return, then."

Amriel nodded and quickly made her exit, brushing past Sam without saying a word on her way out.


	24. Unwind

"What's up with her?" Sam asked once the door to the bunker had closed and Amriel was gone, looking to Cas with an expectant gaze. What had he done to tick her off?

"I'm not sure," Castiel frowned. "Amriel seems to think that I've changed, but I still love her just as much as I did when I was human. I told her that, and she said she needed to go for a walk."

Sam's brow furrowed and Cas took that as a bad sign. He must've messed up somehow, but he just didn't know.

"Sometimes you need to do more than just  _saying_  it, you know? But she's probably just overwhelmed. I wasn't exactly the nicest towards her just now, telling her to ignore her job and let me suffer. Just give her some time, man," Sam set his hand on the angel's shoulder and squeezed supportively. "Text her if she doesn't come back in a couple of hours. In the meantime, do you wanna see if we can track down Gadreel?"

The two stood over a bowl that Cas was busy pouring different items into, and once he added the bits of grace he had extracted from Sam not long ago, they watched the mixture boil and then fade until nothing was there. Castiel looked away in disappointment, knowing it hadn't worked.

"Was that it?" Sam asked, unsure of what had just happened.

"I'm afraid there wasn't enough grace. We'll have to find Gadreel another way… I'm sorry, Sam."

"It's all right, Cas. You— you were right. About everything." The younger Winchester suddenly pulled Cas into a tight hug, fighting back a laugh as the angel just stood there awkwardly, and so Sam said, "Now's the part where you hug back."

"Oh, right," Castiel hugged Sam back, "Uh, sorry."

"There you go," Sam laughed, letting go of the angel and shoving his hands into his pockets.

"As far as I'm concerned, Metatron is the key to fixing everything that's wrong. I'm gonna find him," Cas said, a familiar voice of certainty and confidence that Sam hadn't heard in a long time from him. "You know, Sam, we could use all the help we could get to find Gadreel and Metatron…"

"Don't worry, man. We got this. Now, let's have a drink while we wait for Amriel to come back."

"Are you sure we shouldn't try and find her?" Castiel looked from Sam to the door of the bunker, and the Winchester felt sorry for his friend.

"She'll be fine, Cas. Amriel can take care of herself, you know."

"Yes, but you don't see her grace," Castiel said, a hint of concern in his voice that set off something in Sam that worried him too. "I told Dean this when we first arrived here. Urim tortured her when Malachi had us captive. She's weak and I'm— I'm worried about her, Sam."

"Let her have some time alone, okay?" Sam grabbed a bottle of bourbon and two glasses, pouring one for each of them. "Here, take a load off. We've had a long day."

Castiel took the glass Sam was holding out to him and sat down at the table. He downed the drink quickly and Sam poured him another, and the two drank together, trying to forget what had happened earlier that afternoon.

* * *

Amriel was at a small cafe in town a few miles from the bunker, picking at a plate of french fries as she stared out the window. This tiny town reminded her of Rexford, and she suddenly missed Marissa and her fiery personality that matched her hair.

It had been an hour or so since she left Cas and Sam, and she wondered if they had attempted the spell to track Gadreel. She was worried that there wasn't enough grace, but there was no way Castiel could have gotten more without killing Sam in the process.

Sighing, Amriel thought about Sam and how determined he was to make things right. He tried to shoulder all of the burden on his own, when he really needed to share it with Dean, Cas, and herself. But from what she understood, Winchesters were hard headed and had trouble letting people help them.

The angel was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't realize that her phone had been ringing. She quickly picked it up on the third ring and held the phone to her ear and asked, "Hello?"

_"Amy, finally! I've been trying to call you for days. Where have you been?"_

Amriel felt her stomach drop at the sound of Marissa's voice. She had been avoiding her calls, and now she had no idea what to say.

"I… I've been out of town-"

_"Yeah, I get that! But where are you? Are you with Steve? Neither of you said anything to Nora and she thought you two went missing or something…"_

"We've been busy. Some stuff came up and I haven't been able to get in touch with anyone-" Amriel stumbled over her words, unsure of what to tell her friend. She definitely couldn't tell her that they had been abducted and tortured by angels.

_"Well it's nice to know you're not dead. When are you coming back? Nora hired some high school kids to fill in while you're gone."_

"I'm not sure. We're helping out a friend who's going through a hard time with his brother-"

_"Is that true or did you and Steve run off and get married? Amy, I'll be so pissed if you get married and I'm not there!"_

Amriel laughed, telling Marissa that she wasn't married, "I'm not lying. I just don't know when we're going to be able to come back."

_"Well, do you have some time to talk? I want to fill you in on what's been going on!"_

So Amriel listened as Marissa told her about everything that was happening in Rexford, from the people that came into the store, to the Mayor's affair with a college student, to Marissa's own drama with her ex.

_"I dunno, Caleb just shows up in my life at the worst times. I'm waiting to hear back on Fall admission to design school in New York, and then he just comes back into my life, wanting to keep me here with all of these promises."_

Amriel could tell that Marissa sounded conflicted, but after spending almost a year with her, the angel knew what she really wanted to hear.

"Marissa, don't listen to him. You've told me that he's done this before, and nothing good comes from it. Go to New York. It'll be much better for you than Caleb will ever be," Amriel told her, taking a sip of her soda and glancing out the window at the people passing by. "You're not suited for a small town."

_"You know me all too well, Amy,"_  The angel could practically hear the smile on the redhead's face as she spoke.  _"I miss you, you know. Deal with your shit and come back to Rexford, okay?"_

"I miss you too. We'll try to come back when we can. If you move to New York before then, let me know and we'll visit you."

_"Promise?"_  Marissa asked, and Amriel noticed a worried tone to the girl's voice. Was she concerned that she wasn't going to see her again?

"I promise, Marissa. You're my best friend," Amriel assured her. "I would never forget about you."

_"Good. You'd better not! Now, send me a picture of you and Steve wherever you're staying, so I know you're still disgustingly cute together wherever you are."_

Amriel said that she would before telling Marissa that she had to go. They had been on the phone for a while, and she was starting to feel better after her outburst at Cas. The friends said their goodbyes, and Amriel hung up, seeing that they had spoken for nearly an hour.

Shaking her head, Amriel paid for her food and left the cafe. She walked down the street and took in the shops that lined the sidewalk, spotting a nail salon and quickly ducking inside, where she asked the receptionist if they took walk-ins.

Now she was seated across from the nail technician, watching as the older woman worked on her fingers, scraping dirt and what looked like rope fibers out and dunking them into a bowl of warm water. Amriel frowned— she thought she had rid herself of everything that would remind her of her torture, but she had apparently been wrong.

Amriel let herself relax and let the woman work, painting her nails a navy blue. She was out of the salon within an hour, and she felt much better than she had earlier that day. After listening to Sam's screams all afternoon, it was nice to be outside and away from the bunker.

She was starting to walk back toward the bunker as the sun was beginning to set when her phone began to ring. Pulling it out of her pocket, she saw Castiel's name on the phone so she answered it quickly.

"Hey Cas," she said, continuing on her walk.

_"Elle, where are you? Are you okay?"_

He sounded flustered for some reason, and Amriel narrowed her gaze even though he couldn't see her.

"I'm fine… I'm on my way back. Are  _you_  okay?"

_"Actually, I was wondering if you could do us a favor,"_  Amriel could hear Sam's voice in the background, telling Cas to hurry up.  _"Could you stop by the liquor store before you come back?"_

"The liquor store? Are you and Sam drinking?"

She could hear the Winchester's voice in the background, telling Castiel to ask her to get more bourbon.

_"Yes, and he's far more intoxicated than I am. Would you please bring back bourbon and whatever else you can find? We tried the tracking spell and it didn't work."_

Oh. That was why they were drinking heavily. Nodding her head and looking around the block she was on, Amriel spotted a liquor store across the street.

"I suppose I could make a quick stop."

* * *

Amriel returned to the bunker with two bottles of bourbon for Sam and eight bottles of the strongest liquor she could find, which happened to be the Bacardi 151 she had first tried months ago. The clerk at the store had been a little weary to sell her ten bottles, but she had the money and a valid drivers license, so he triple bagged the bottles and sent her on her way.

"You're the best, Amriel," Sam greeted her when she arrived, taking the bags from her and planting a sloppy kiss on her right cheek before making his way to the kitchen. She saw Cas standing there, watching her with a strange look on his face before he took off for the kitchen too.

"Cas- wait," she called out, stopping him in his tracks. Amriel approached him carefully, unsure of what to say to him now that they were face to face. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I was- I was just upset with what had happened to Sam, and I took it out on you."

"It's okay, Elle-" he started, but the girl shook her head, telling him that it wasn't.

"I shouldn't have done it, and I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Cas nodded, knowing that he couldn't talk her out of it if he tried. "Now c'mon. Sam already has a few drinks on me and we have to get in there if we want to catch up."

The entered the kitchen and found Sam lining up shot glasses, filling them to the brim with bourbon before he turned to face the pair of angels that had joined him.

"I've had a  _really_  hard day, so we're gonna get drunk, okay?" the Winchester told them, holding out two shot glasses and smiling when the angels took them from him.

"Sam, are you sure-?" Amriel asked, looking from the amber liquid to her charge, a curious look on her face as he shook his head.

"No guardian angel stuff tonight, you've done enough of that today." Sam clinked his shot glass against hers before throwing his back and shaking his head, turning to pour himself another.

Grabbing a bottle for himself, Sam disappeared into the main room of the bunker, and Amriel heard the sounds of rock music coming into the kitchen. She looked over to Cas, who shrugged and quickly drank his shot, motioning for Amriel to do the same.

A few shots later, the angels grabbed their own bottles and joined Sam. Amriel took a seat at the long table, watching Castiel take off his trench coat and jacket before sitting down in the chair next to her.

Amriel took a swig from her bottle and let her hand rest on Cas' thigh, a motion that didn't go unnoticed by her charge.

"You're awfully touchy for an angel," Sam mused, watching the blonde with a small smile on his face.

"Well I've spent nearly a year on Earth. I've learned a lot since I've been here," she told him, glancing to Cas and watching him roll up the sleeves of his dress shirt. "I understand that you were researching me?"

Amriel set her bottle on the table and crossed her arms over her chest, staring up at the Winchester with an expectant look on her face. She watched him shift in his seat uncomfortably and he did another shot before getting up and grabbing a file off of a nearby shelf.

"I wanted to know as much about you as I could after we met, so I did some research and this is what I found," he set the file in front of her, gesturing for her to look through it as he sat and took another drink.

The blonde opened the folder and glanced through the pages, seeing the painting by Raphael that she saw when she had first come to the bunker. There were other pieces of information about her duties and lore, but she kept going back to that painting. Amriel felt Cas staring at the pages too- they were both drawn to it.

"I know all about the lore humans have about me, but what is it about this painting? How did you find it?" She sat back and poured herself and Cas another drink.

"It was a painting Raphael finished in 1506 as part of a series, but the Vatican had it in storage until 2008, from what I've read. Pope Julius II thought it was blasphemous, as the series tells of two angels who oversee Heaven and maintain order in God's absence."

"Why have I never heard of this?" Cas finally spoke, looking from the painting to Sam, his eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "I think I would know if angels were supposed to preside over Heaven."

"Well God disappeared a long time ago, and you've said before that he didn't leave any instructions. What if these paintings are it?"

"That's ridiculous. I can't oversee Heaven or any other angels- I'm just a watcher," Amriel closed the folder and pushed it back towards Sam. "I don't need to see any more of your  _research_ , and I certainly don't need to see any more of Raphael's work."

"Amriel, don't you see? Once Heaven is re-opened, you could help restore order. You  _both_  could restore order," Sam looked between the two angels. "I'm pretty sure that painting depicts the two of you, whether you like it or not."

Rolling her eyes, the blonde leaned forward and said, "I don't even think I want to go back to Heaven, Sam. Now, I'd like to stop talking about things that don't matter. Heaven is closed to angels, and I don't really care if it stays that way."

Castiel felt his jaw drop and he saw a look of surprise Sam's face. He turned and looked at Amriel, wondering if it was the bottle of Bacardi talking.

"Elle, I think you should slow down on the liquor…" Cas reached over to take the empty bottle, only to have his hand pushed away.

Amriel got up from the table and excused herself to the kitchen, where Cas knew she was probably going to get another bottle of rum. He looked to Sam and shook his head, unsure of what he should say.

"Cas, even though I haven't seen anything in my research, I know that painting depicts you too. She doesn't want to believe it, but together you could set things right up there, once we get the door open-" Sam stopped when Castiel held up his hand, signaling for him to stop.

"Let's save this discussion for another time. We're supposed to be relaxing after a strenuous day, not making things more stressful for each other." Cas watched Sam nod, and the two continued to drink until Amriel returned, a bottle in one hand as the other ran through her long hair.

She made her way to the table, sitting back down in her seat and glancing up at Sam, but not really acknowledging him before she turned and sent Castiel a small smile.

"How about we play a drinking game?" Sam suggested, getting up and looking through a few drawers until he found a deck of cards. "Have either of you heard of Bullshit?"

"I believe that's an expletive, not a game," Cas corrected, and Sam's eyes lit up at the angel in front of him as he began to shuffle the cards.

* * *

"Bullshit!" Amriel yelped, her eyes narrowed at Cas, who had just set down three cards and claimed that they were all tens. She knew for a fact that she had two tens in her hand, and according to the rules she had to call him out on his lie.

With a sheepish look on his face, Castiel took the pile of cards that sat in the center of the table and took a swig of rum from his third bottle, finally able to taste it now that he had taken Amriel's advice and put the molecules together himself. Amriel took her turn, setting two cards face down, saying that they were twos, and the game continued.

Sam was quickly learning that the angels were competitive.  _Really_  competitive. Aside from the first round, he hadn't won a single game.

"I'm gonna go grab something to eat, maybe bread to soak up the booze. Want anything?" Sam asked, running a hand through his hair and blinking slowly, realizing that he was pretty drunk.

The pair shook their heads, so he carefully got up and made his way to the kitchen.

"This has been fun," Amriel smiled, playing with her phone and noticing a text from Marissa.

_**Where's that pic you promised, girl?!** _

"Oh! Cas, I talked to Marissa on the phone today! She called and was kinda mad that I haven't let her know where we were. She thinks we ran off and got married, and she wants a picture of us so she knows were alive…"

"But you spoke with her earlier, so that would mean you're alive," Castiel reasoned, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, making the girl laugh.

"I think she just misses us. Let's indulge her, though." The blonde opened up the camera app on her phone and held it up, trying to fit both Cas and herself in the frame, but couldn't quite get it to work.

"Here, sit on me, that way we can both be in it," Cas suggested, spreading his arms and wrapping them tightly around Amriel, pulling her back against his chest and breathing in the scent of her shampoo. They used the same one, but it always smelled better on her.

Amriel held her phone out in front of them and lit up when she saw both of them on the screen. She told Cas to smile, and she took a few pictures before choosing one to send to Marissa.

_**See, we're alive and well.** _

Tossing her phone on the table, Amriel leaned further back into Cas and heaved a sigh. She grabbed the half empty bottle of rum, probably their sixth or seventh, and took a long swig from it. She only stopped drinking when Cas reached up and set his hand on top of hers, lowering the bottle and taking it out of her grasp and drinking from it himself.

"Are you drunk?" Amriel asked, turning herself so she was sitting sideways and wrapping an arm around his neck to keep herself steady.

"I'm not sure. I don't think I'm  _drunk_ , but I'm certainly not sober," he answered. "Why? Are you?"

"Kinda. But that's okay, we both deserve to relax after today-" she stopped herself, suddenly mesmerized by the brightness of Castiel's eyes. "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

"Elle, you know they're not really mine," Cas looked down, but she set both of her hands on his cheeks and tilted his head so he was looking up at her again.

"I know, Cas. But I also know how magnificent you are as an angel, and I can't wait for you to get your grace back." She pressed a firm kiss to his lips, then his cheek, before leaning closer and breathing against his neck, "But just so you know, I certainly do enjoy the things you do to me with that vessel of yours."

"Oh? And what would those things be?" Castiel had never considered himself to be confident or even skilled when it came to the art of flirting, or really most human interactions in general, but the way Amriel was looking at him filled him with confidence and possibly pride that he had never felt before.

"I think it'd be better if I had you show me," her voice was just above a whisper, and Cas could hardly contain himself. He felt a tightness in his slacks, and all he wanted to do right now was ravish the girl sitting in his lap.

Cas stood suddenly, taking Amriel with him and sitting her on the table, smiling to himself when she let out a quiet gasp. He quickly leaned in and kissed her hungrily, setting one of his hands on her side underneath the fabric of her shirt, cupping her breast over her bra, while the other tangled itself in her long hair, and he felt a small rush of excitement run through him when she wrapped her legs around him and took hold of his tie, pulling him closer and deepening their kiss.

"C'mon, let's go to bed," she said in between breaths, while Cas was placing searing kisses to her jaw.

"What about Sam?" Cas asked, wondering where the Winchester had gone, but trying not to put too much thought into it.

"What about me?" came Sam's voice, followed by the sound of glass shattering.

Cas went rigid and he stared down at Amriel, who had let go of his tie and was now sitting up straight, her entire face bright pink with embarrassment. He quickly removed his hand from beneath her shirt, pulling it down to cover the skin he had exposed.

"Sam-" Castiel started as he turned around to see the Winchester staring at them with wide eyes, pretzels and the fragments of what looked like a bowl scattered at his feet.

"I've seen  _so_  much stuff in my lifetime… But I have never-" Sam ran a hand through his hair before taking a deep breath and releasing it. "You know what. I'm too drunk for this. I'm gonna go to bed and deal with this in the morning."

Amriel wasn't sure whether he meant the glass shards or the situation he had walked in on, but either way, she was fine with it.

"Goodnight, Sam," Cas said awkwardly, and Amriel buried her face in his shirt to avoid watching the Winchester shake his head at them before leaving the room.

"He did  _not_  just walk in on us making out," she grumbled, "How weird."

Castiel laughed, rubbing her back and shoulders before pushing her back a little so he could make eye contact with her, "Trust me, you don't know weird. I've visited the Winchesters during stranger situations. Plus I'm sure Sam has seen worse."

"Can we go outside?" Amriel asked suddenly, staring up at Cas with a small smile, "I want to look at the stars with you."

"We probably shouldn't leave the bunker… But okay. Just for a little while."

Cas backed up and Amriel jumped off the table and headed towards the stairs that led to the door of the bunker.

She heard Castiel's footsteps as she opened the door, and she glanced over her shoulder to see that he wasn't far behind, his coat now on and the key to the bunker in his hand.

Stepping out into the cool night air, Amriel took a deep breath and looked up at the sky, admiring the way the stars shimmered. She felt arms wrap around her waist and she leaned back, looking up and smiling at Cas.

"I love being able to see the stars from Earth. Heaven was nice and all, but the view looking down is nowhere near as beautiful as the view looking up."

They were quiet for a while, staring up at the sky and listening to the crickets chirping nearby. There was a slight breeze, but Amriel was warm thanks to Cas, and she was glad that he radiated body heat. She had been a bit drunk earlier, but the fresh air had helped a lot and she felt a lot better now.

Cas cleared his throat and Amriel turned to face him, only to see a nervous look on his handsome features. His eyebrows were knitted together, causing lines to form on his forehead, and his hands were stuffed in his pockets, something she recognized as an anxious habit of his.

"What's up, Cas?" she asked, wondering if he was going to tell her. That was one of the hardest things to grasp when interacting with humans. You could never truly tell what someone was thinking, or if they were being truthful when they told you.

"I keep thinking about how Marissa seems certain that we've run off and gotten married. Is that what people do?"

Amriel could hear the confusion in his voice, and it was similar to how she felt, too. She shrugged, asking why he was thinking about it, "Marissa likes to tease. I try to ignore her when she says things like that."

"Yes, but what if we  _do_  go and get married? Would.. Would that be something you'd like to do?"

"From my understanding, marriage is something people do when they truly love each other and want to share the rest of their lives together. Are you saying that's how you feel about me?" Amriel had seen enough movies to know the gist of weddings and married life, but she had never pictured it for herself since she wasn't really human.

"Of course. I'm just saying that maybe we should consider it. I love you, Elle, and I plan to spend eternity with you once I get my grace back," Cas had taken his hands out of his pockets and grabbed both of hers, lacing their fingers together and squeezing gently as he spoke. "I want to commit myself to you in every way possible."

"How about this. We'll get married once you have your grace. Then when Marissa asks, you can tell her yes, and watch her freak out."

"I would like nothing else," he smiled, letting go of her hands and digging through his pockets, fumbling as he pulled out some loose change, a receipt, and a red twist tie from a loaf of bread. He held out the twist tie, "Here. This is all I have, so it'll have to do."

Amriel offered him her hand, watching quietly as Cas wound it around her left ring finger and twisted it so it was secure. When he was done, he smiled softly and pressed a kiss to her palm.

"Thank you, Castiel," she smiled in response, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "I love you  _so_  much. I'm so glad I found you."

Cas buried his face in her hair, taking a deep breath and exhaling, "I love you too. Don't forget that. I don't know what it's going to take to recover my grace, or what state it'll be in when I do, but we'll figure out what those paintings mean and what Crowley was talking about us being destined for more."

The girl laughed, leaning back and kissing his cheek, telling him that they'd take it one day at a time.

"C'mon, let's go to bed. I know you don't sleep anymore, but I could use the rest." Amriel took his hand and pulled him back towards the bunker, turning to look at him when he resisted at first.

She pulled again, but he remained in place, and Amriel raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're beautiful in the moonlight. Let me look at you a little longer," he said quietly, and Amriel stopped pulling, staring up at him with a smile.

" _Cas_ , you see me every day, and it's cold out here."

"Allow me to help you with that," Cas shrugged off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders, shooting her a look that made Amriel's cheeks turn pink.

The blonde stuck her tongue out and crossed her eyes when she felt that he had been staring at her long enough, and Cas merely laughed at her antics. He wrapped his arm around her and led her inside, making sure he locked the bunker door behind them.


	25. Bartholomew

Sam had gone to Wisconsin to check up on a fellow hunter named Garth, leaving the two angels to fend for themselves in the bunker. Of course, he had laid out a few ground rules before he left.

"No parties, no driving any of the cars in the garage, and for the love of God, please don't have sex in any of the common areas," Sam said as he zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"Why do I feel like a teenager on some sort of sitcom?" Amriel asked, looking from Cas to Sam, wondering if they felt that way too.

Neither of them answered, though, and Sam merely shook his head at her and sighed.

"Just… Just don't do anything that will draw attention. No one in town knows about this bunker, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"We'll behave, Sam, as long as you promise to keep us informed of your whereabouts. We have no problem coming to help if you need it."

Sam said that wouldn't be necessary, and as he slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder, Amriel jumped out of her seat and pulled him into a quick hug.

"Be careful, please," she said, feeling Castiel's eyes on her back the entire time.

"I will, I promise."

Amriel had spent an entire day reading through files the Men of Letters had kept on Heaven and angels, but found very little that she didn't already know herself. While she had settled in the library, Cas was restless. He would pace the halls of the bunker and stare into space thoughtfully, and Amriel was starting to worry about him.

"What's wrong, Cas?" she finally asked, shutting the book she had just finished and getting up to set it back on the shelf.

She made her way over to him and reached up, running her fingers through his soft hair, smiling at the feeling. His lips twitched up into a slight smile, but she could tell something was bothering him.

"Don't you feel like we should be doing something to find Metatron? To find a way to open Heaven's gates?"

Amriel frowned, pulling back and crossing her arms over her chest. She shook her head, knowing that she couldn't care less about returning to Heaven- not after what Urim had done to her.

"Not really. I have no desire to track down the scribe and listen to him speak in riddles, and I don't really care about going back to Heaven. I'd rather explore the country- the world, even! Cas, we have the chance to experience so much…"

"How about we compromise?" Cas suggested, tracing her jaw with his thumb before running it over her soft lips. "We can travel the country to anywhere your heart desires, but we can also look for leads to find Metatron. Does that sound acceptable to you?"

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?" Amriel watched Cas shake his head, so she sighed. "Okay. Let's do some research and the first lead we get will be the beginning of our journey."

* * *

The angels had left the bunker two weeks ago. Amriel had insisted on texting Sam before they left, telling her charge that they were going on the road for a bit and to call or pray if he needed anything, no matter how small or insignificant.

Castiel had found a lead that took them to Michigan first, but it had been a total bust. The angel they had been tracking had abandoned his vessel a few days before they arrived- the man's body was unable to contain the angel for very long, apparently.

The couple visited the World's Largest Tire in Allen Park, as well as the Dinosaur Gardens Prehistoric Zoo in Ossineke. Amriel thoroughly enjoyed the dinosaurs, remembering when they roamed the Earth millions of years ago.

Now they were in South Carolina, following a lead about an angel named Rebecca. They had stopped at a motel on the way through the state, on their way Virginia, where she had last been spotted.

"I'm not sure  _why_  someone thought it was necessary to build a seven-story-tall basket, but it was rather impressive," Amriel smiled as she slipped off her shoes, tucking them under the desk out of habit. She watched Cas shrug off his trench coat and jacket, noticing how he loosened his tie and heaved a tired sigh. He had been driving for hours on end and refused to admit that it was getting old.

When he didn't answer, Amriel walked over to him and had him sit on the edge of the bed. She looked down into his bright, blue eyes and saw that he was frustrated. It was amazing how much someone's eyes could tell you, and Amriel liked to think she could read him pretty well now.

"Castiel," she said softly, setting her hands on his shoulders and squeezing in an attempt to ease his tension. "I know things haven't been going as well as you'd like."

He raised an eyebrow, his forehead creasing as he mumbled, "That's certainly an understatement."

"But, try to see this in a positive light. We've been to ten states!" Amriel wrapped her arms around his neck and moved closer to him, now standing between his legs. "We've seen the Everglades, the Atlantic Ocean, and a giant ball of twine. I know you want answers about Metatron, but they will come with time. You have to be patient."

"How are you so enthusiastic all the time?" he asked, and Amriel tried to ignore his hands on her hips, the way his warm fingers were brushing against her skin was distracting her.

"If I don't remain positive, I experience the emotions that drove me to take pills so I wouldn't feel anymore. I don't want to do that to myself or to you, so I look for the good side of everything when I can."

It felt good to finally tell Cas that yes, she had thought about acquiring and taking pills again, but she hadn't gone through with it.

"Elle, why didn't you tell me?" He looked up at her, noticing how she avoided his gaze. "You don't have to keep anything from me, you know."

She nodded, saying that she did know, but she didn't want him to worry.

"It isn't a big deal, Cas," she shrugged. "Sometimes I'm sad, but it's okay. It's part of life. Now. What do you want to see when we get to Virginia?"

Cas knew she was changing the subject because she was uncomfortable talking about herself, so he went along with it and said that he wanted to visit Washington, D.C.

"Ooh, yes! The capitol! We could go to the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument. And then there are all of those museums," Amriel grinned, remembering all of the things she had read about the city online. "I'll make a list of things we can do."

Amriel squeezed his shoulders and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before backing out of his grasp and grabbing the pen and pad of paper on the desk. She curled up on the sofa, tucking her feet beneath herself and wrote down the places she had just mentioned, then looked over to Cas when she realized he hadn't moved.

"Is something wrong, Castiel?" she asked, watching him shake his head and send her a small smile.

"No, nothing's wrong. I'm just still amazed by how different you are now compared to when you first arrived…"

"Well I have you to thank for that," Amriel flashed him a bright grin and sent a playful wink. "You and basic cable, I guess."

Cas laughed, and Amriel saw that he was less tense than he had been when they first got to the motel. He had been on edge ever since they discovered their last lead was a bust, and it was good to see him smile.

"Get back to your planning, Elle. I'm going to shower… It's been a long day."

Amriel watched him disappear into the bathroom and close the door behind himself, heaving a sigh once she heard the water turn on. He was right, it had been a long day. She glanced down at her note pad and saw that she had more than enough listed for them to do when they got to Washington, D.C.

The angel grabbed the remote off of the coffee table and turned on the television, flipping through until she found one of her favorite shows. She recognized the episode, but didn't mind that it was a repeat so she stretched out and yawned, trying to keep her eyes open so she could pay attention to the blond chef with a British accent trying to help people save their failing restaurants.

When Castiel emerged from the shower in a clean pair of boxers and a white t-shirt, he was still toweling his hair dry.

"What time do you want to get going tomorr-" Cas started, but quickly cut himself off when he saw the blonde fast asleep. He smiled, noticing how innocent and peaceful she looked, sprawled out on the couch, her note pad on the floor, pen uncapped on the coffee table.

Cas quickly hung up his towel and pulled back the covers on the bed before walking back over to the couch and slipping one arm under her knees and the other behind her back, careful not to wake her. It was only a few steps to the bed, where he laid her down gently and tucked her in, brushing her long hair out of her face.

"I suppose we can just sleep in," he said quietly to himself, sliding into bed and turning down the volume on the TV. Cas laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling and listened to Amriel's slow, steady breathing.

He wasn't sure how long he had been like that, but after what felt like hours, he heard Amriel shift and he quickly glanced towards her. The blonde was still asleep, but her eyebrows were furrowed and she seemed distressed. Cas was ready to wake her up, thinking she was having a nightmare, but he was quickly put at ease when she reached out and her hand made contact with his chest.

Amriel seemed to relax at the contact, and Cas felt his heart skip a beat. She had been worried that he wasn't next to her, even in her sleep. Just the thought of her missing him subconsciously made him feel like he could do anything. With a smile on his lips, Castiel rolled onto his side and pulled her into him, breathing in the smell of her shampoo as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

When Amriel woke up the next morning, she found herself alone in the motel room. A folded piece of paper sat on the bedside table, her name written on it in Castiel's messy script, so she grabbed it quickly.

_Elle-_  
Got a lead about Rebecca a few towns over. I'll call when I can, and I'll be back tonight.  
Cas

The blonde frowned, glancing at the alarm clock to see that it was nearly noon. Why hadn't he woken her up? She would have gladly gone with him. He had taken the car, so it wasn't like she could go very far from the motel now. Amriel would have to spend the day watching television instead of going to the country's capitol like she had planned.

Sighing, Amriel got up and showered, changed into clean shorts and one of Cas's t-shirts he had worn often as a human. Now that he was an angel again, he stuck to his suit and trench coat, and Amriel didn't mind it, but he certainly missed seeing him in jeans and a sweatshirt.

She combed her hair and decided to forgo the blowdryer since she couldn't find it. Amriel sat on the couch and picked up the laptop Sam had loaned her, opening it up and turning it on.

For the next few hours, the angel looked for signs of Metatron's presence. She really wasn't sure what exactly she should be looking for, but nothing in the news really struck her as something he would do.

Amriel had heard stories about Metatron— how he was awkward and rude at the same time, his ego over inflated as he referred to himself as the Scribe of God on an almost constant basis. He was insufferable, according to other angels. Cas had told her of how he convinced him to help him restore Heaven to its former glory, but his trust in the scribe had ultimately cost him his grace and caused the Fall. Metatron was crafty, and finding him would be difficult, but if anyone could do it, Castiel could, and she would help him any way she could.

Her phone vibrated twice on the table, and Amriel quickly picked up the device, seeing that she had a message from Cas. It contained an address, telling her to meet him there as soon as she could.

With a groan, Amriel rose from the couch and stretched, trying to figure out how she would get to the location in the message. She quickly searched it online, glad to see it was only a few hours away via public transit.

She threw on a light jacket and grabbed her shoes before sitting on the coffee table and putting them on. If she wanted to catch the next bus, she'd have to leave in the next five minutes. Amriel tucked her blade in the back of her shorts, picked up her purse and left the room, heading down a block and a half to the bus stop right as the one she needed pulled up and she hopped on, paying the fare and taking a seat.

* * *

Cas walked through a forest until he came upon a cemetery, where he saw a priest talking to a small group of people. One of the mourners had left, coming towards Castiel, who was waiting quietly for his chance to strike.

When he had caught wind of this lead it had been 4 a.m. and he didn't want to wake her up and drag her out of bed in case it didn't pan out. But it looked like he was onto something here, and as soon as the angel was close enough, Cas grabbed him and shoved him into the closest tree.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel asked, gripping the man's collar tightly.

"Please, she was my friend!"

Cas didn't let up, and asked, "Who? The dead human or the angel who was killed while possessing her?"

When he confirmed that he was friends with Rebecca, Castiel's grip loosened slightly.

"Rebecca had a lot of friends. Friends like Metatron. Where is he?!"

"You're looking in the wrong place. Rebecca and Metatron were friends, but that was a long time ago. They had no contact since the Fall. Naomi, Metatron, heavenly battles and politics, she gave it all up. Rebecca taught us the angels have lost touch with our true mission," the angel explained and Cas fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"What do you mean by us?"

The angel explained that Rebecca had a small group of followers that didn't want to fuel the angel war.

"We live humbly among these humans… Or we did. He killed all the others, and he killed her," the angel said sadly, and Cas tilted his head curiously, surprised that other angels had been living peacefully on Earth.

"Who did?"

"Who else?" The angel said like it was obvious, "The monster. Bartholomew."

They spoke for a few more minutes before Castiel decided to let the angel go. He could feel the presence of other angels as he left the cemetery, and he felt his blade in his sleeve, reassuring himself that he could handle the two armed angels that were approaching him if he needed to.

"Where did your friend go in such a hurry?" the angel on the left asked, looking to his partner with a smirk.

"You're too late. He's gone," Cas answered simply, and the first angel raised an eyebrow.

"Castiel?" he asked, and the other angel finally spoke, "Our boss has been looking for you."

"Is your boss Bartholomew?"

Cas watched them both nod, and he told them that he would go with them peacefully.

The three angels were now seated in a waiting room of an office building not far from the cemetery. It had been a while, and Castiel was starting to get impatient. He hadn't heard from Amriel all day, and now he was wondering if he should text her.

"How much longer?" he finally asked, deciding to forego texting the blonde angel that was probably still sleeping peacefully in their motel room.

"You have someplace to be?"

Before Cas could tell him that yes, he did have somewhere he had to be, the door swung open and Bartholomew walked in.

"His blade."

Bartholomew's words weren't a statement. They were a command, and one of the angels handed Castiel's blade over to his boss.

"Standard security protocol. Can't be too careful these days," Bartholomew explained. "Your phone, too. Can't have those pesky Winchesters tracking you here."

Cas frowned slightly, but he gave him his phone and watched as he gave it to one of the angels, leaning in and telling him something that Cas couldn't quite hear.

When the two angels disappeared, Cas finally looked at the leader of this violent faction and said, "Hello, Bartholomew."

"Castiel," he grinned, and the two hugged. "It has been too long. Please, sit. We have much to discuss."

* * *

The two angels sat in the waiting room, talking about their previous battles during the Civil War. Cas wasn't really sure where this conversation was going, but he went along with it anyways.

"Madness, wasn't it? A puny force of 20 behind enemy lines, launching an incursion against Raphael and his loyalists…"

"It was a calculated risk," Castiel shrugged.

"I thought you'd gone insane, and I questioned your leadership, second-guessed every step of the campaign," Bartholomew confessed. "But you were my commander, so I held my tongue and I followed orders. Raphael fled, most of his loyalists dead or captured. Your gambit paid off… You won."

" _We_  won," Cas corrected, him, and the angel nodded.

"Word of your victory spread and you got called back to the garrison. You became the great Castiel, while I stayed behind, just a grunt."

"Yes, but you gained a reputation for yourself as well. The captives I left in your care, you tortured and killed them."

Cas frowned, remembering when he had gotten the news that nearly a dozen angels had been murdered at the hands of Bartholomew after he had given explicit instructions to leave captives unharmed.

"I was  _ordered_  to kill those captives. You've been flying solo for so long, you've forgotten that's what angels do. We follow orders."

"Not you though, not anymore," Castiel mused as he glanced around the waiting room before looking at the bemused smirk on Bartholomew's face.

"That's right. I give them." Bartholomew suddenly stood, motioning for Cas to join him. "Come, why don't I give you a tour of the building."

They walked around the facility, still talking as they went down hallways and through the offices.

"Realizing they were more trouble than they were worth, we purged our human allies then commandeered Boyle Ministries, Inc. for our own use," Bartholomew explained, making Cas frown again.

"Buddy Boyle. So, you killed him."

"No. We made him and his colleagues vessels. At least those who didn't go  _pop_." Bartholomew stopped suddenly, turning to face the angel in a trench coat and raising an eyebrow. "You nervous, Castiel?"

"Your followers want me dead. I'm not entirely certain you don't, too."

"If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead," Bartholomew said casually, and Cas was still trying to figure out where this was all going.

"So, we're friends here?" he asked and Bartholomew nodded, saying yes. "And I'm free to go?"

"Of course. Though, I don't know why you would. What's out there for you, Castiel? What do you expect to accomplish on your own? You'll never find Metatron that way."

Cas was relieved that he hadn't brought up Amriel. Maybe he didn't know about their relationship. He'd have to be careful and avoid mentioning her at all costs.

"How'd you know about Metatron?" He decided to change the subject to keep Bartholomew's thoughts occupied.

"I figured that's why you were pursuing Rebecca and engaging with her follower. We have different methods, Cas, but we want the same thing — to find Metatron and restore our kind to Heaven."

"Then why kill Rebecca and her followers? They're no threat to you."

Bartholomew went on the explain that it was better to nip a fledgling faction in the bud then let it grow into a larger threat in the future, but Castiel didn't see things that way, and he voiced his disagreement.

"I'm not asking you to agree. I will outrace Malachi in the hunt for Metatron, and I'll certainly outrace you on your own. But if you can set aside your qualms about methods for one second, there's no reason the two of us can't take him down, together."

They entered a conference room with a large map on the wall with dots on it. Cas stared at the wall, squinting at the marks and wondering what they meant.

"What are these locations?" he finally asked.

"Sightings of Metatron," Bartholomew replied, and Castiel's eyes widened.

"He's been on Earth?"

"Three times we know of so far. That's the benefit of a massive ground operation. Eyes and ears everywhere. It's only a matter of time before we get an active location."

"Why wait then? With this kind of information, I'd lure him out…" Cas wanted nothing more than to find Metatron as soon as possible. Why was Bartholomew sitting on this?

"I knew you'd be an asset. No one's as motivated as you to take him down. I've had my hands so full with the factions, it's distracted me from the main goal. But with you by my side, the new boss and the ultimate rebel working together, think of the message that would send to would-be dissidents," Bartholomew mused. "They'd finally understand that resistance is futile. Think of the bloodshed we could avert… What a united angelkind could accomplish in Heaven… Elsewhere."

Before Cas could reply, the doors open and the two angels that had brought him in entered with the angel from the funeral. Bartholomew knelt and held an angel blade to his throat.

"Bart, what are you doing?" Cas asked, staring in confusion at the scene before him.

"What needs to be done. I'm gonna torture this rebel, then kill him. And you, Castiel, are going to help." Bartholomew told the two angels to tie their captive up, and once he was, the torturing began.

Castiel could only watch as Bartholomew punched, stabbed, and sliced the angel, asking him where the others were. Time and time again, he replied that he was the last, but Bartholomew didn't take that as an answer. Closing his eyes, Cas couldn't help but remember when he and Amriel were held against their will and tortured.

"Can't you see he's telling the truth?" Cas finally interrupted, having had enough of this. "He's done."

"Yes, I believe he is," Bartholomew said, handing the blade out to Castiel. "Now, finish him off."

"Bartholomew, it doesn't need to be like this."

There was no way Cas was going to kill this angel. Amriel would never forgive him for it, and he wouldn't be able to forgive himself, either.

"Castiel, get your head out of the sand. Do you know why they brought you back from the battlefield? The truth?"

"Yes, I know the truth," Cas answered, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke.

"Our leaders wanted those captives killed, and they knew you'd stand in the way of their orders. Said you didn't have it in you. That you couldn't do what needed to be done. But I know different. I know you've changed…"

"I'm  _not_  a murderer," Castiel snapped, feeling anger bubbling up inside of him. How dare Bartholomew…

"You weren't. Not then. But since then, you've slaughtered  _thousands_  of angels. You killed Malachi's man for his Grace."

"Who I was, what I did, that's not who I am," he tried to explain, but the words just weren't coming out right.

"No? Then who are you? I want to work with you, Castiel, but I need proof. They need proof that they were wrong. That you can do what has to be done, and  _this_  has to be done."

"I was never free to leave, was I? My only choice was to obey or be killed. Well, I choose."

Castiel handed the blade back to Bartholomew, maintaining eye contact the entire time to make sure he knew that he was being serious.

"I am truly sorry to hear that," Bartholomew said before swinging around and stabbing the angel in the heart, watching the bright light flash before disappearing forever.

Bartholomew turned back to Cas, a deep frown on his face as he straightened out the sleeves of his suit jacket.

"As your refusal makes it perfectly clear, you always thought you were better than me. Shall we put your superiority to the test once and for all?"

He punched Castiel in the mouth twice, rolling his eyes when he didn't retaliate.

"No. Angels fighting angels has to stop somewhere. Might as well stop with me," Cas said, wiping his mouth with his fingers to see that he was bleeding.

Bartholomew picked up up a blade and tilted his head from side to side, cracking his neck as he said, "Fine."

Cas watched as Bartholomew lunged towards him, and thankfully he was able to grab his arm to stop him. He saw the two angels step forward to help, but Bartholomew told them to stand down.

"This is between me and the rebel," he shouted, his distraction giving Castiel the perfect opportunity to strike, moving suddenly and trapping Bartholomew in a headlock with his blade against his throat.

"To the victor," Bartholomew hissed. "Do it."

Castiel let him go, stepping back as he said that he wasn't going to kill him.

"What are you now? A penitent?" Bartholomew asked, trying to figure out what the angel was getting at.

"I'm nothing," Cas answered, and Bartholomew scoffed.

"You never did understand, Castiel. There can be no peace without bloodshed."

He moved to strike, but the door suddenly burst open for the second time that afternoon, and all four angels in the room turned to see Amriel standing there, her eyes blazing with a rage Cas had never seen before.

"What is going on here?" she asked, her voice low, but firm. Her eyes went from the two angels to Bartholomew and finally to Cas, and she frowned at the sight of blood on his lips. "It was unwise to bring me here under false pretenses, Bartholomew. Did you have one of your lackeys send me a text from Castiel's phone?"

"I was wondering when you'd arrive, Amriel. I've been waiting for you," Bartholomew smiled. "I seem to be having difficulties getting the great Castiel to side with me, so I thought it would be wise to bring you here to persuade him."

"Persuade him to side with  _you_? You're no better than Malachi," she hissed, angry that he thought he could use her to get to Cas. "You know, I could hear you from the waiting room, telling Cas that he was never going to get anything done on his own. I couldn't help but laugh, because he most certainly  _isn't_  alone in his hunt for Metatron and you know that."

"Yes, I admit that I did lie, but I assumed that once Castiel sided with me, you would fall into line as well. After all, you are his little shadow, aren't you? He rebels, you rebel, and so on."

Amriel clenched her fists, growing tired of listening to Bartholomew's obnoxious voice. She shook her head and sent him a fake smile, "You always thought you were all that, huh?"

Bartholomew stared at the blonde angel, taken aback by the way she spoke to him. She was an insolent creature, that was for certain.

"I'm sick of angels thinking they're above everyone else. This pissing match between you and Malachi is over," Amriel said firmly, drawing her blade and shooting Cas a glance, letting him know that she would be fine handling this on her own.

" _You're_  going to stop me? You're a pathetic excuse for an angel, Amriel. You're weak, unfocused," Bartholomew laughed, turning to Castiel and motioning towards the blonde. "Is she serious, Cas?"

"I wouldn't want to get on her bad side," he answered, not taking his eyes off Amriel as he spoke to Bartholomew.

"Well then, I won't go easy on her."

Bartholomew drew a blade and lunged towards Amriel, who had been anticipating his attack. She easily blocked his attempts to stab her and knocked him to the ground, letting out a groan when he grabbed onto her hair and pulled her down with him.

They wrestled on the ground for a few moments until Amriel got the upper hand and plunged her blade deep into his chest, watching his eyes widen as the bright light left his vessel and he died.

Amriel, breathing heavily, sat up and pushed her hair out of her face before she noticed that Cas was now standing in front of her, holding out his hand to help her up off of the ground. Once she was standing, she looked down at Bartholomew's dead vessel and heaved a sigh, wishing she could've let the human live.

"Are you okay?" Cas asked, his fingers gently grasping her chin as he tilted her face to look for any sign of injury or trauma.

"I'm fine. Let's get out of here."

She took his hand and pulled him towards the door, where the two angels still stood, staring at Amriel in absolute awe.

"Let us pass," she said, shooting them each a glare that only left her face when they stepped aside and let them leave the room.

* * *

The pair of angels stood in the cemetery the next morning, looking down at the grave of Darlene Foster, the vessel Rebecca had occupied.

"I'm sorry I created this chaos, and I'm sorry I couldn't do more to fix it," Cas spoke to the headstone. "You may have lost the war, Rebecca, but you tried a new way. You have my respect for that."

Amriel nodded in agreement but decided not to say anything. She heard footsteps approaching and turned to see that it was one of the angels that had been under Bartholomew's command. Nudging Cas, he turned as well and sighed.

"We don't want to fight, but we will if we have to," he said, trying not to sound as exhausted as he was.

"I didn't come to fight," the angel said. "When I fell, I thought I had no choice, but yesterday, you've showed me that there is a choice, and I choose you. Both of you."

"I'm sorry, I'm no leader," Cas shook his head, glancing to Amriel and seeing that she was shaking hers as well.

"Yes, you are. If you will have me, Castiel, I will follow you, and Amriel too. And I am not the only one."

More angels entered the cemetery, and Amriel looked to see dozens of angels walking towards them with confident looks on their faces.

"What is this?" she asked the angel, gesturing to the group that had formed around them.

"After Bartholomew gave me this device to contact you under the guise of it being Castiel, I used it to contact other angels that I knew would follow you," he answered, pulling a cell phone out of his pocket and handing it to Cas. "I am sorry I had to lure you to him, Amriel. Please, forgive me."

Amriel tilted her head in confusion. Why was he apologizing to her? Was he afraid that she would punish him for what he had done?

"It isn't your fault. You were following orders," she said, letting him know that she wasn't angry.

"Look, I understand that you're all looking for someone to lead you but I'm not that person. I'm going to do everything I can to find Metatron, and so will Amriel. But I won't be leading any faction," Castiel explained to the crowd that had formed. "I'll give you all our contact information in case you see him or come across any leads."

Once each angel had received both Cas and Amriel's cell phone numbers, the pair left and returned to the motel room, exhausted from the day's events.


	26. Separated

"I don't see why I have to stay here, Cas," Amriel complained as they stood on opposite sides of a long conference table in the office of the command center they had taken over in the recent weeks.

The angels had insisted that Castiel lead them, and he wouldn't do anything without Amriel by his side as his equal. At first they had been hesitant, but the angels agreed and things just went from there.

"We discussed this earlier. You need to oversee operations here while I follow this lead," Cas walked around the table so he was standing in front of Amriel, taking her hand and squeezing gently. "I'll only be gone for a day or two."

"I guess I could go that long without seeing you," she answered, trying to maintain her composure. This would be the longest time she had been without Cas, so she wasn't sure what she'd do without him around. "As long as you call or text when you can."

"I think I can manage that." Castiel smiled down at her, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers for a gentle kiss.

At first they had been hesitant to show any sort of affection towards one another in front of the group of angels that had become their followers. It had started off as just small touches to the shoulder or back, then it moved to holding hands and kisses to the forehead or cheek. They didn't actually kiss in front of the other angels, but their relationship was recognized and even envied by some.

Amriel knew that the other angels spoke about them, wondered about their relationship and how they could be so close. She hadn't even attempted to explain it, but she knew that they had questions.

"How do you know they'll listen to my orders without you here?" She was certain that the angels only did what she tasked them with because they didn't want to upset Castiel, and she didn't want them to ignore her just because he was gone.

"They respect you, Elle. We come as a pair, and they knew that when they agreed to follow us," Cas reassured her with a smile, taking her other hand and tangling their fingers together. "You just have to be firm in your actions and they will comply."

The blonde shrugged in response, unsure if they really respected her or if they just put up with her because they admired Castiel. He was going to go track down this lead on his own whether she liked it or not, so she decided to go along with it.

"I suppose you're right," she finally nodded. "I'll make sure things run smoothly here, and you handle the lead. Do you have everything you need?"

Amriel ran through a mental list and named them off, "Money, a change of clothes, cell phone, charger…" and Cas would nod after each one. She felt a little more at ease knowing that he was prepared.

"Okay, I guess you should get going then?" Amriel didn't really want him to go yet, but he was adamant about leaving as soon as he could.

"Yes, I should…" he trailed off, staring down at her with a look she couldn't place. Before she could question him, she felt his arms wrap around her waist as he pulled her into him, resting his head on top of hers. "I'll miss you, Elle."

Amriel stood in his arms, reveling in the warmth as she breathed in. She was always curious as to why he smelled like the forest, but she liked it nonetheless. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before leaning back and kissing her gently, his chapped lips meeting hers for a long moment before he pulled away completely.

"It's time for me to go. Walk me to the car?" he asked, holding out his hand and smiling when she took it.

The pair left the conference room and walked through the headquarters, making brief eye contact and nodding to whoever they passed on their way out of the building. They stood beside the Lincoln Continental and Amriel watched Cas jingle the keys in his right hand.

"Call me when you can, okay? And if you need me, let me know and I'll get to you as soon as possible." Amriel rambled on nervously, only stopping when Cas leaned in and kissed her, effectively shutting her up.

"I will, I promise," he reassured her, setting his hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently as he smiled down at her. "You'll be fine. I love you, Amriel."

She nodded, staring up at him with the most confident look she could muster, "I love you too. Now, get out of here before I change my mind and drag you back inside."

With a laugh, Cas gave her one more kiss and got into the car, starting it up and waving as he pulled out onto the road. Amriel heaved a sigh and took a minute to compose herself. The last thing she needed was to look weak in front of the angels that had chosen to follow them.

"I can do this," she muttered to herself. "It's just a few days. Keep it together until Cas gets back."

Amriel took a deep breath and smoothed out her hair, then she headed back into the base with her head held high, walking over to a group of angels that were huddling around a map laid out on a table.

"Any signs of Metatron on Earth?" she asked, catching them off guard.

The four angels looked up at her, then to each other as if trying to figure out who should speak up.

"I asked a question, don't make me repeat myself," Amriel narrowed her eyes at the four of them, setting her hands on her hips and widening her stance like she had seen others do to command respect.

"No, we haven't heard of anything new," Daniel finally spoke up for the others. "Has Castiel left to follow the lead he found?"

"Yes, he just left a few minutes ago. I'll be the only one in charge until he returns." She looked at each one of the angels, her gaze lingering for a few moments before settling on Daniel. "Now, please return to your duties. I don't want us to waste time when we could be searching for Metatron."

Amriel walked away from them and headed into the office she and Cas shared, sitting at the desk and turning on the computer so she could get started on some research of her own.

She wanted to find Castiel's grace, but she wasn't quite sure where to start. If the Men of Letters' notes were correct, she could possibly extract remnants of it from Cas, but that might mean he'd have to expel Theo's. Shaking her head, Amriel heaved a sigh. She was in way over her head here- there's no way she could handle this group of angels on her own.

A buzzing on the desk snapped Amriel out of her thoughts, and she glanced down at her phone to see a message from Marissa.

**Guess who moved to NYC! Come visit me soon, babe. xoxo**

Attached was a selfie of the redhead in the middle of Times Square, and Amriel smiled. She was glad Marissa had made the move and didn't stay with her ex-boyfriend. Picking up the phone, she typed back a message, asking for her new address and telling her friend that she was excited for her.

Amriel longed for the days where she and Cas worked at the Gas-n-Sip, stocking shelves and speaking with customers. But most of all, she missed staying up late with Castiel, talking about their days and kissing occasionally, exploring each other's bodies without a care in the world. She wondered what would've happened if they hadn't gone to check out that massacre at the biker bar. Would Cas still be human?

With a frown, Amriel quickly dismissed the thought. It didn't matter- they had gone, and Castiel was an angel again. They were committed to finding Metatron and opening Heaven.

"Excuse me, Amriel?" a hesitant voice came from the doorway, and the blonde looked up to see Mihr standing there. He was in the vessel of a man in his late twenties, with sandy blonde hair and bright, green eyes. Mihr wore a suit that was slightly too big for him, but it seemed to work for his lanky figure.

"Yes, Mihr? Please, come in." Amriel closed the laptop and watched him enter the room, closing the door behind him before he sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the desk.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions." He seemed nervous, avoiding eye contact with her at all cost.

Amriel told him to go ahead, that he could ask anything he wanted.

"I— the others have been talking, about you and Castiel. What does it feel like to love?"

The blonde was silent, staring at Mihr and trying to figure out what to say. She wasn't really sure what love felt like, really… She just knew that she loved Castiel with all of her being.

"Um, that's a rather difficult question to answer. It's unlike anything I've ever felt in my entire existence. There are many emotions I've felt in my time on Earth, but love, and loving Cas, is the best one."

"Why Castiel?"

Mihr's question caught her off guard, and Amriel frowned, furrowing her eyebrows and, unsure of what he meant.

"What do you mean, Mihr?"

"Out of every being in Heaven and every human on Earth. Why choose Castiel?" Mihr clarified, and she shook her head.

"I didn't  _choose_  him… It doesn't work like that," Amriel frowned slightly, "I'm not even sure how it works. I just.. he makes me feel  _so_  much. Castiel frustrates me, he makes me angry, but he also makes me smile and he understands me. Love isn't just one emotion. It's all of them, I think."

When Mihr didn't reply, Amriel asked if he had any more questions. He shrugged and remained silent for a few seconds before asking if he would love someone too.

"Mihr… Everyone is capable of love. You'll know when it happens," she smiled, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Maybe once we find Metatron and open Heaven, we can have some human experiences. Have you ever been to a bar?"

"A bar? Amriel, inebriation is a sin!"

The blonde laughed, wondering if she had been the same way when Cas was explaining things to her. She shook her head and grinned, "Oh Mihr, you have so much to learn. I'm so glad you're here with us."

"I'm glad to be here. You and Castiel are good leaders. We all believe in the cause, and we'll do whatever it takes to apprehend Metatron."

Amriel was surprised by his words, but she could tell by the determined look on his face that he was telling the truth.

* * *

Cas had found Hannah in a factory a few states over from where the headquarters was located. He had discovered that angels were trying to recruit others to join Metatron, and he had healed her of her injuries. Apparently there had been sort of siren calling to angels and luring them to the warehouse where they were killed, all but Hannah, apparently.

Hannah had taken a rather plain vessel, Castiel had noticed. The woman had shoulder length, brown hair and bangs that covered her forehead. Her features were angled, and Cas couldn't help but compare her to Amriel, whose features were far more delicate.

He also found out that one of the angels working for Metatron was Gadreel, so he had called the brothers to tell them the news.

 _"Gadreel? Gadreel is working for Metatron? For how long?"_  Sam's voice came through the phone as Cas entered his motel room.

"I don't know," he answered, setting the room key down on the desk.

 _"So, Metatron made Gadreel kill Kevin?"_  It was Dean speaking on the other line now, and Cas slipped out of his shoes and tucked them under the desk out of habit.

"It would explain a lot, and there have been no new prophets, which Metatron could have fixed to his advantage."

 _"And Gadreel said that angels are returning to Heaven? How? I thought that the spell was irreversible."_  Dean seemed confused, and Sam took continued,  _"That's what Crowley said. Look, let's just find Gadreel and… beat some answers about of him."_

"Yeah, here's something to start with that. Uh, hold on, I'm uh," Cas fumbled with his phone, pressing a few buttons as he spoke, "Elle showed me how to do this. I'm sending you a photo of the symbol that drew all the angels in."

When Sam confirmed that they got the picture, Cas went on, "It's acting as some kind of angel siren. I think it's a spell. The ingredients used to create it were very odd… Griffin feathers, bones of a fairy. I've never seen it before."

 _"Yeah, me neither. All right, let me see what I can find. What did Amriel have to say about this?"_  Sam asked, and Castiel frowned slightly.

"I haven't sent it to her yet. She's back at our headquarters, keeping things in order there," he stared at the honor bar mini fridge and muttered, "Honor bar. What's so honorable about a miniature bar in a motel room?"

 _"Everything,"_  came Dean's serious response, making Cas smile.

"How are you, Dean?" he asked, moving to sit on the bed.

_"I'm fine, Cas. How 'bout you?"_

"I miss my wings," he answered wistfully, "Life on the road… smells. And I miss Amriel. She made traveling more enjoyable."

Dean chuckled and hummed before Sam cut in, saying that he got a match and that the symbol was the same as a few that were spotted at crime scenes of multiple homicides in Baker and Hill Valley, Utah.

Castiel was in Bishop Falls, Utah, and it looked like Gadreel was heading north. The next two big towns were Auburn and Ogden, so Sam and Dean would head to Ogden and Cas was going to take Auburn, and then they decided to meet in the middle.

When he hung up with the brothers, Cas briefly considered calling Amriel and telling her about his plans, but he didn't want to bother her if she was busy.

He went to bed that night with an ache in his chest that he couldn't identify the source of. His vessel was fine, he knew that much, but he wasn't sure why he felt off. Cas glanced over at his phone and picked it up, opening it up and squinting at the bright screen illuminating the dark room.

His background picture was one of Amriel and himself- he was wearing the suit he had gotten from Marissa while she was in that stunning coral dress he had grown so fond of, and they were standing with his arm draped over her shoulders while her's was around his waist, at a museum gala they had stumbled upon a month ago. As he stared at the photo, he realized the source of his pain.

He missed Amriel.

Cas frowned, something he had been doing a lot lately, and wondered if she was still awake. It was nearly 2 a.m., so he was sure she was curled up in bed, sleeping peacefully while he was restless. He contemplated sending her a text, half hoping that she would be awake and respond, just to put him somewhat at ease.

**I hope all is well at headquarters. I shouldn't be gone much longer. I miss you.**

He hit send and stared at the message for a few moments before navigating to a game on the phone and starting the next level.

* * *

Amriel had been tossing and turning for hours, unable to get comfortable.

She had gone to bed around 11:30, right when she got back from headquarters. It was strange coming back to the empty motel room, knowing she was going to be alone. Usually she would try to wait up for Cas, but tonight she wouldn't be able to.

Things had gone smoothly for the rest of the day, surprisingly. Details of her conversation with Mihr had apparently spread, and some of the other angels had been talking about emotions and what kinds of human activities they might like to try all day.

They hadn't come up with any new leads on Metatron's location, and she hadn't found out anything more about finding Cas's grace, but she was eager to get back to it in the morning.

The blonde was fed up with not being able to sleep. Throwing the covers off of herself, she got out of bed and grabbed a water bottle from the mini fridge.

Heaving a sigh, she knew there was no way she'd be able to sleep soundly without Castiel by her side. Amriel quickly found the remote and turned on the TV, flipping channels until she found a true crime show. She settled back under the covers and tried to count sheep, knowing it was something humans did when sleep evaded them.

After reaching two thousand, however, she figured it was a lost cause. Amriel ran through strategies and ways to draw out Metatron, and then she started thinking about what Heaven would be like when she finally returned— if she even returned at all.

Gone would be the camaraderie amongst the angels. Instead, there would be bitterness between those who followed Bartholomew and Malachi. Heaven was most likely in shambles, without having anyone there to keep things running. It would take a lot of work to restore it to what it once was, and Amriel wasn't really sure she wanted to deal with it unless she had Cas by her side.

How were they even going to get Metatron to reveal the entrance to Heaven? Would they torture him? Amriel didn't want to stoop down to that level, but if it was for the greater good and allowed the other angels to return, she would have to consider it.

Of course, there were a few things she wanted to do before returning to Heaven. She wanted to visit Marissa in New York, she wanted to get Castiel's grace back, and she wanted to make sure Sam would be okay without her presence. He could always pray to her, but she wanted to know he would be fine when she wasn't on Earth.

Just the thought of leaving Earth upset her. She liked experiencing all of these new things— Heaven was monotonous and boring after eons of existence. Suddenly her chest was tight and her eyes had started to water— no. She wasn't leaving just yet. She still had time to do everything on her list.

Amriel grabbed her phone, wanting to add something to the list, when she noticed it was approaching 4 a.m. She had hoped to hear from Cas, but he hadn't sent her anything to let her know where he was or how things were going. Perhaps he was busy or his phone died. He wasn't the best at keeping it charged, she thought to herself. Maybe she should try calling him.

Finding his number and pressing send, Amriel listened to the phone ring until she heard his voice filter through the speaker.

_"I don't understand why… why do you want me to say my name?"_

Next came the tone that signaled she was supposed to leave a message, so she did just that.

"Hey Cas, it's me… I just wanted to call and see how things were going on your end. Call back when you get the chance… Or at least text me so I know something hasn't happened to you. Love you… Bye."

Frowning, Amriel plugged her phone in out of habit and tossed it back on the table.

"I need to go to sleep," she mumbled to herself, pulling the comforter up over her face as she began to count sheep again.

* * *

Cas was getting ready to leave the motel to head to Auburn when the electricity started to flicker. He glanced around in confusion when the TV turned on by itself and a film called  _Casa Erotica 14_  started to play.

A woman on the screen spoke, "Sometimes, you need a break from the hustle and bustle of city life. #amiright. Sometimes, you need #casaerotica."

"That's inappropriate," Cas said to himself, but his eyes were focused on the film nonetheless.

The woman on the screen got up and answered the door, and Castiel's eyes widened when he saw Gabriel wearing an obviously fake mustache.

"Hello. Remember me, bucko?" he ripped off his mustache, "Gabriel. I'm gonna take that as a yes."

He snapped his fingers and the TV went black. Cas turned around cautiously, tensing when he saw Gabriel standing before him.

"I need your help, brother."

"I thought you were dead," Cas said, confused as to what was happening.

"Please," Gabriel scoffed. "You can't take the trick out of the Trickster."

"So, I assume you faked your own death?"

"And I assume you weren't let into Mensa while I was gone," Gabriel said with a laugh.

When Cas asked Gabriel where he had been, the Archangel shrugged.

"Ohhhh you know, hither with a side of yon. I was hiding, Captain Side Eyes, in the safest place in the universe. Heaven. But then you and the two stooges had to go and ruin Christmas, now didn't you?"

"Sorry," Cas mumbled, looking down at his shoes.

"Oh cry me a river. Look, I dropped, I hid, I finally watched Downton Abbey. But then, your BFF Metatron sent his minions out looking for me. Apparently, he thinks since I'm an Archangel I have extra juice."

"And that you're a threat?"

"Yeah, but I got hurt in the fall too. Used most of my juice to get back into porn," Gabriel paused for a split second, "That came out wrong. So did that. Uhh, the point is, I've been on the run. But then, a few weeks ago, somebody started playing my song."

"The angel siren," Castiel said, thinking back to Hannah.

"No. The horn of Gabriel. One of Dad's little party favors that I never got around to messing with. Metatron dug it up and started blowing, so I came out of hiding."

Cas asked why, and Gabriel explained that there was safety in numbers, but Metatron was using it to trap angels instead of uniting them.

"It wasn't Metatron," Cas explained. "It was his second in command, Gadreel."

" _Gadreel_? That old chestnut? Wow!"

Castiel was growing tired of this, so he asked Gabriel what he wanted.

"Your help, Columbo. I'm getting the band back together. We're going on a kill Metatron tour, and you're looking at the new front man," Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows and Cas rolled his eyes.

"Come on, let's get going."

The two angels were on the road, Cas driving and Gabriel sitting shotgun as Castiel attempted to call Dean.

 _"This is Dean's other, other cell, so you must know what to do,"_  the hunter's voicemail was followed by a loud beep, and Cas began to leave a message.

"Dean, it's me. I'm-"

He was cut off as Gabriel snatched the phone and chastised him, "Ho, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hands-free much? Both on the wheel. I'm precious cargo." Gabriel then addressed Dean via voicemail. "Hey, what's up shorties? Remember me, the guy who died for your sins? No, not the cat with the beard and the sandals… the hot one. Hey, thank you so much for the flowers and condolences. Really meant a lot to the fam. Any how, your boy toy and I are rolling our way towards your top-secret domicile. Call to discuss."

Gabriel hung up the phone and looked down at the screen, his eyes widening at the background picture.

"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. You finally hooked up with Amriel? It's about time, brother!" The Archangel grinned, noticing Castiel tense slightly at the mention of her name. "She certainly picked a fine vessel for herself. I don't know what she sees in yours though— a little too tall, dark, and handsome for my tastes."

"She likes me for me, Gabriel, not my vessel," Cas grumbled.

"I'm sure it doesn't hurt, though. I always knew you two would shack up. It was just a matter of when…"

"I've been hearing that lately. You, Crowley… Is there something I'm not aware of?"

Gabriel merely shrugged and sent him a smirk as he said, "You'll find out when the time's right, little bro."

The ride was quiet for almost ten minutes when Cas finally spoke again.

"So, you've been back for months. What have you seen out there?"

"After it was raining winged men? Well, you know… Total nigh-biblical chaos. Crowley and Aba-douche duking it out. Good times," Gabriel chuckled. "Then there's our peeps, scattered like confetti."

"There has been a lot of confusion," Cas admitted and the archangel scoffed.

"You think? Most angels aren't like us, Castiel. They can't handle this whole  _free will_  thing. They're sheep, drones. But us?" Gabriel gestured between the two of them, "We're rebels… one without a cause, one with."

Keeping his eyes on the road, Cas shook his head, "I'm just a soldier."

"Bitch, please. You've been God more often than Dad has," Gabriel shot back, making Cas let out a laugh for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Yeah. Look how that worked out…"

"Well, go ahead then. Be a soldier all you want. I'm gonna need as many as I can get."

Gabriel explained that he was sick of running. He had run from God, from his fellow angels, from the Winchesters, and he didn't want to any more. So he was going to do what he was meant to do, and that was lead.

"Well, we need a leader. And I'm happy it's gonna be you," Cas said with a small smile, somewhat relieved that he and Amriel wouldn't have to do it.

"A little low on gas, aren't we?" Gabriel asked suddenly before looking out the window and Cas glanced down at the dash to see that the indicator was in fact almost to the E, which he now knew stood for  _Empty._

Cas took the next exit and pulled into a Gas-n-Sip, and the two entered the station. Looking around, Castiel noticed just how similar they all were. He knew where every item belonged on the shelves and he suddenly missed working at the one in Idaho.

"Ooh, smell that cancer. Delicious!" Gabriel said as he looked at all of the snacks lining the aisle. His head turned when he saw a truck pull up outside and people jump out and come towards the doors. "Uh… Remember the minions of Metatron I mentioned?"

The Archangel ran towards the doors and locked them, eyeing the minions as he backed away towards Cas.

"We'll never keep these guys out of here," Gabriel groaned.

"I know. So, we fight," Cas said firmly, reaching for his blade that was tucked away in his sleeve.

"No, I fight. I lied before. I never watched Downton Abbey… I was just trying to fit in," he confessed. "Oh, and I do have some Archangel juice left. I can hold these boneheads off long enough."

"Long enough for what?"

"For you to get out of here," Gabriel said like it was obvious, and Cas shook his head, saying that he wasn't going to leave him.

The two argued back and forth, and Cas told Gabriel that they would cut him to pieces.

"I can stall them long enough for you to amscray, and you can take my place. You and your lovely Amriel."

"What are you talking about," Cas narrowed his eyes, not liking where this was going.

"The angels need a leader, or well, leaders, and it's gotta be somebody like us… somebody different."

Castiel shook his head fervently, "No."

"I know you don't want this burden, Castiel. Neither do I." Gabriel sounded like he was pleading with the lesser angel, but Cas wasn't going to buy it.

"What if I fail again?" Cas stared down at the floor, memories of his betrayal and releasing the Leviathan flooding his thoughts.

"With Amriel by your side, you won't. You can't."

Cas suddenly pulled Gabriel into a tight hug, muttering, "Thank you." The archangel hugged back, telling him to shut up.

When their hug ended, Castiel turned to leave, going to tuck his blade back into his coat when he noticed something off. His coat, which had been torn earlier when he had found Hannah, was no longer ripped. It was perfectly fine. He turned back around to face the Achangel, suspicious of what was going on.

"Haven't got all day, hotpants," Gabriel said, tapping his foot impatiently, watching Cas stare him down with an accusing look.

"Was any of this real?" he asked, and Gabriel frowned. "What the hell are you talking about? Cas, go!"

When Castiel didn't move, the Archangel tried again, "So, what, we both die here?"

Cas approached Gabriel and thrust his angel blade into him quickly, frowning as it didn't do anything, "No. You're already dead."

"Well," Gabriel huffed, snapping his fingers and the minions that were breaking through the door disappeared. "What gave it all away?"

"My coat was torn earlier today."

"Ah, crap. I really hate continuity errors," Gabriel groaned, rubbing his temples in annoyance.

"So, none of this is real, and I'm guessing I'm no longer in the motel."

How long had he been gone for? Hours, days, weeks? Was anyone looking for him?

"Here's the thing… none of it was real, but all of it was true," Gabriel tried to explain and Cas shook his head sadly.

"Whose truth? Yours or Metatron's?"

Gabriel heaved a sigh, "Just hear him out, would you? He's just trying to help you."

Metatron? Help? It wasn't possible. Cas shook his head and asked how he could possibly be trying to help.

"Sorry, didn't read the whole script, just uh, skimmed for my parts. Well, it's good to see you, old bean-" Gabriel went to snap, but Cas stopped him before he could disappear.

"Wait. Are you dead?" he asked, watching the Archangel smirk and snap his fingers.

Everything disappeared and Castiel found himself gagged and tied to a chair in an unfamiliar room. He glanced around what looked to be a study or library of some kind, and he stilled when he spotted Metatron seated at a typewriter.

Metatron looked up and took off his glasses, a smile appearing on his face as he asked, "What makes a story work?"


	27. Trade Off

"Tonight, I thought I'd tell you a little story… Let you decide. That was my plan, anyway. I guess that's where my story failed," Metatron stopped the music that was playing in the background and removed Castiel's gag. He pulled at his trench coat, inspecting the torn pocket. "Yes, this is 'The Curious Incident,' eh, Inspector Gregory?"

"Who?" Cas asked, his brows creasing in confusion.

"Inspector Gregory. Sherlock Holmes. 'Silver Blaze'?" The Scribe rolled his eyes dramatically, sighing as he spoke, "You've been around since scaly things crawled out of the muck. Would it have killed you to pick up a book, watch a movie? Here, I know it's a bit of a retcon, but it's gonna make this whole conversation a whole lot easier."

Metatron pressed his fingers to Castiel's forehead and he reeled back, gasping in pain. What had just happened to him?

Before he had time to ask, Metatron answered his question, "I just gave you every book, movie, and TV show I have consumed in the last couple of millennia. Now do you understand that 'the universe is made up of stories, not atoms'?"

"I understand that that's a— a quote by Muriel Rukeyser," he muttered, still somewhat confused by what had just happened.

"Ah! It can be taught," Metatron beamed, "Here are a few more lessons. First rule of writers club, steal from the best. Second rule? Every hero needs a villain."

Cas listened as Metatron went on to explain that he had set up the slaughter of the angels Hannah had been with. He had ordered Gadreel to kill all who wouldn't join his army, but to let one live to tell the tale. He told Castiel that he was supposed to lead the angels, to which Cas fervently shook his head and denied that he was a leader.

"So, I did my homework," Metatron said as he picked up a copy of  _Tall Tales_  by Carver Edlund. "The 'Winchester Gospels.' Pulpy stuff."

With that, he threw the book into the lit fireplace.

"It gave me an idea, though. You needed to be taught a lesson, and nobody teaches lessons better than good old Gabriel, aka the Trickster, so I started typing."

"And you did all this to make me a hero?" Cas stared up at Metatron, who merely laughed at him.

"Ah, that's priceless," he chuckled. "Um, no. You're not there hero in this mess-terpiece. You're the villain. I'm the hero."

Metatron continued to pace the room, running his fingers along the desk, humming every once in a while before he finally turned back to face Castiel.

"Do you know why I didn't kill you after I stoke your Grace? I like you, truly. Among all God's little windup toys, you were the only one with any spunk. I left you human because I was hoping you would live happily ever after, but then Amriel came along and you screwed that up too. And now… Uh, well you leave me no choice. If you want to get back on board, fine, but you're gonna have to follow my script."

"Well, based on your assessment, that doesn't sound like me." Cas didn't like that Metatron had brought Amriel into the conversation. Hopefully he didn't have her tied up somewhere…

"Lead the dumb, disenfranchised, rebellious angels against me, Castiel. The will follow you, and they'll all die. But I'm gonna save a nice, warm seat up at the top for you. Maybe even two seats- you and Amriel will be saved."

Castiel's response was a firm  _no_ , and Metatron didn't take it very well.

His eyes narrowed briefly before shrugging, "You're gonna make me do the hard pitch, aren't you? How's that stolen grace inside you working out?"

"It's fine," Cas answered, lying through his teeth and hoping he wouldn't call him out.

"No, it's not. It's burning out, and it's gonna burn  _you_  out. But I'll give you an endless supply of rechargeable batteries. Deal?"

The door opened and a woman walked in, drawing Metatron's attention from Cas.

"Sorry to interrupt your writing session, sir, but something's happened," the woman said quickly. "It's Gadreel."

Cas watched Metatron follow the woman out of the room, the door slamming shut behind them and leaving him alone, wondering what was going on with Gadreel. He had no idea how long he had been missing for, but he was sure it was enough time for Amriel to notice. She would look for him, or at least send a few angels from their headquarters to find him.

He stared up at the ceiling and sent her a silent prayer, hoping she would hear it.

* * *

Amriel groaned as she hung up her phone and set it on the desk she was currently seated at. This was the fourth time she had tried calling Cas and hadn't gotten an answer. Where was he?

Sam and Dean would be able to find him. They were probably out on the road, and they could trace his phone whereas she had no idea how to do that.

The blonde grabbed her phone again and dialed Sam, closing her eyes as it rang.

 _"Hey Amriel, what's up?"_  Sam finally answered, and the angel let out the breath she had been holding in.

"I haven't heard from Cas since he left on this lead… He won't answer my calls or texts- I was wondering if you've had any luck?"

_"We haven't, actually. Dean turned on the GPS on his phone, and he's still in the same town we talked to him last. I'm on my way out there right now."_

"Do you need me to send backup? I can have a couple of angels meet you—"

 _"That won't be necessary. I can handle it on my own. Thanks, though."_ Sam was quiet for a moment, and Amriel could hear faint sounds of the radio playing in the background.  _"How are you holding up? It's been a while since we talked."_

"I'm leading over a dozen angels in a hunt for Metatron. It's been challenging…" Amriel sighed, feeling the need to open up to her charge. "There's only so much we can do unless he surfaces."

_"I'm sure you'll find him. I can't tell you how many times we took something down on much less intel. Look, I'm almost to his motel. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you while I look around?"_

"No, that's alright. I have too much to do here, and the others will wonder what I'm up to if I don't leave my office soon. Call me if you find anything out though, okay? I'm worried about him…"

_"We all are, Amriel. I promise you'll be the first person I call once I figure something out. I'm here now, so I'm gonna go. But you'll hear from me soon."_

The blonde thanked Sam and told him to be careful before hanging up and taking a deep breath. She had to go back out and face the others without letting them know that something was wrong. The last thing she needed was for them to find out Cas was missing.

Amriel stood up and stuffed her phone into the back pocket of her shorts, closing her eyes briefly and mentally preparing herself to face them. Once she felt like she was ready, she left her office and made her way to the large conference room where several angels were hovering over a map laid out on the table.

"Have you acquired any new information?" she asked, startling the four that were so focused on the map, Mihr included.

"No, Amriel. It seems we're at a dead end. Wherever Metatron is hiding, he's warded very well," Hannah spoke up, straightening her posture as she turned to face her.

"Well then perhaps we should focus our efforts on devising a plan to make him come to us. Look for similarities at the previous places Metatron has appeared at, and let's try and recreate them so we can trap him," Amriel proposed, watching the angels look between one another.

"We'll get started right away," Mihr nodded, and the four returned to the map, pouring over the locations to look for any sort of similar geography.

Amriel left them to their work, pleased that they had listened to her command. Perhaps Cas had been right the whole time— they did respect her and her ideas.

Hannah, however, made Amriel nervous. She didn't like the way the dark haired angel watched Castiel with adoring eyes, jumped at any chance to do something for him, whether it was get coffee or organize teams to go on scouting missions.

It rubbed her the wrong way. Amriel was his equal, but Hannah only acknowledged her when Cas was around and it was expected of her. She would have to have a word about it with Cas at some point.

* * *

Sam walked up to Castiel's motel room and got in with ease. He looked around, spotting the angel's cell phone sitting on the table. Picking it up, Sam saw that there were six missed calls from Dean and eleven missed calls from Amriel along with countless texts.

He knew he shouldn't read them, but he did anyways. They had started out normally, asking how things were going. Then as the hours passed, the texts turned more frantic, and Sam felt something in him ache at her words.

_Cas, I don't know where you are but something isn't right. Sam is on his way to find you, and I hope he does soon. Please, come back in one piece…_

As he was setting the phone down, Sam heard something behind him. Turning, he drew his gun and saw Metatron standing in front of him.

"Easy there, tiger. I'm here for a trade," Metatron said, hands up in a surrendering way. "You have something of mine, and I have something of yours. Bring him here tomorrow, say.. 6ish? If not, Castiel dies. No comebacks this time."

"An even trade?" Sam asked, and Metatron nodded.

"I'm an entity of my word."

"Let me call Dean, see if he'll go for it."

The angel said he'd be outside, and Sam quickly pulled out his phone and called his brother. They decided to have Dean bring Gadreel to the meet-up, make the exchange, and trap Metatron.

When Sam confirmed that they'd make the deal, Metatron merely nodded before disappearing.

So Sam waited for Dean to arrive, putting together a trap. They stood together outside in the parking lot, close to the Impala, and caught each other up on what had been going on.

"We can't let Amriel know Cas was held hostage… She's freaked out enough as it is that he hasn't been answering her calls," Sam told his brother, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the car.

"Well we're gonna have to if Metatron doesn't show up for this exchange. He's late," Dean grumbled.

"Of course I'm gonna show," Metatron suddenly appeared, "I was just waiting for you two to finish setting up your little trap for me. Uh, am I hitting my mark? Well, come on. Let's go, I'm waiting."

Dean threw a lit lighter on the ground, igniting a holy fire circle around the angel, and the brothers watched him fake agony and laugh. Metatron blew out the flames and sent the Winchesters back into the Impala when they tried to come towards him with angel blades drawn.

"No thanks," Metatron told them as he walked towards the Impala's trunk and opened it, flicking away the angel warding. "Bye-bye."

Gadreel climbed out of the trunk as a car pulled up and Cas gets out, quickly walking over to the Winchesters.

"Well, a deal's a deal," Metatron said with a shrug.

"Why are you doing this?" Dean asked, and Metatron looked at him briefly before replying, "Because I can. Because you and your little brother and your fine, feathered friends and all those secrets you got locked away in your bunker can't stop me. But I'm gonna enjoy watching you try. It's gonna be a hell of a show. I'll see you around, Castiel. Never forget I gave you a chance."

Once Metatron was gone, Sam gave Cas his phone back, watching him look through his texts, the frown on his face getting deeper with each one he read.

"What's the matter, Cas?" Sam asked, drawing the angel's attention away from his phone.

"Oh- Amriel is worried. I need to call her and let her know I'm okay," he said in a far-off tone, like he was speaking to himself, and Sam furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

"That can wait," Dean interrupted. "Does somebody want to tell me what the hell just happened here?"

The angel nodded, saying that Metatron was trying to play God.

"Play God? Cas, he erased angel warding. He fucking blew out Holy Fire! He  _is_  God. He's powering up with the angel tablet. How are we supposed to stop him?" Sam said all in one breath, and Dean sighed.

"Okay. So, what if there is a stairway to heaven? We find it and get a drop on the guy."

"You want to sneak onto the Death Star, take out the emperor?" Sam asked his brother, and Cas furrowed his eyebrows.

"Okay I… I'm not sure what a fictional battle station in space has to do with this, but if taking out the emperor means taking out Metatron, I'm on board."

Dean looked from Cas to Sam, then back to Cas," Wait. Did you just understand a Death Star reference?"

"Yeah, I think so," the angel shrugged. "But I don't understand what that has to do with Heaven."

"It's halfway, I guess," Sam offered, and Dean asked Castiel if he was all right, patting him on the shoulder with his right hand.

"I'm fine," he replied, grabbing Dean's arm and pushing up his sleeve, revealing the Mark of Cain. Cas' eyes darkened as he stared at the Winchester, "What have you done?"

Dean yanked his arm back, saying that it was a means to an end. He pulled his sleeve back down and straightened himself out, taking a step back away from Castiel.

"Damn it, Dean," he frowned, shaking his head in disappointment. He never wanted Dean to take that mark. It wasn't going to end well for the Winchester.

"Look, you find Heaven, you drop a dime. In the meantime, I got a knight to kill," Dean snapped before stomping over to the driver's side of the Impala, leaving Cas and Sam to say their goodbyes.

"Be safe out there," Sam told him. "Get back to Amriel. She's going crazy without you."

"You be safe too… Keep an eye on him, okay?" Cas glanced from Sam to where Dean was sitting in the car, and the younger Winchester nodded, saying that he would.

* * *

Castiel returned to the motel he had been kidnapped from, immediately tearing down all the maps he had pinned up onto the wall.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed a number he had seared into his memory, listening to it ring until the other line finally picked up.

 _"Cas,"_  Amriel breathed into the receiver, and he felt his heartbeat begin to race.  _"Where are you? What happened?"_

"Metatron happened. He kidnapped me in an attempt to get me to lead angels to rebel against him… If I text you the address of the motel I'm at, will you meet me here?" Cas ran his hand through his hair as he spoke, looking around to find chalk.

_"Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can. What should I do about the angels here at headquarters?"_

"Tell them Metatron has been on Earth— have them look for where he went."

Cas started to draw a sigil, but left it incomplete. He didn't want to finish it until Amriel arrived.

 _"Okay. I'm going to leave now, so I'll see you soon,"_  she said and he could hear her rustling around and typing at a computer.  _"I love you, Castiel… I'm glad you're all right."_

When they hung up, all Cas could do was wait for her to get there.

He paced the room, ending up in the bathroom and staring at himself in the mirror. Cas raked his fingers through his unkempt hair in an attempt to tame it before straightening out his tie. It had been days since he had seen Amriel, and he was somewhat nervous and he didn't know why.

Chalking it up to anticipation, Castiel peered out the curtains and looked around, hoping she would appear any moment.

Nearly an hour and a half later, Cas heard a car pull into the motel parking lot and turn off, and as soon as the door slammed shut he knew it was Amriel. He walked out of his room and looked to see that she was across the lot, and he watched her glance around for the number he had given her.

Amriel was a complete vision, wearing a flowing tank top and denim shorts, her golden hair falling around her shoulders and down her back in waves. He could tell that she couldn't find him, so he called out her name and smiled when she pivoted on her right foot, a bright smile taking over her face as she broke into a sprint.

As soon as she was close enough, Amriel leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and locking her arms around his neck, pressing kisses to his lips, forehead, and everywhere else she could touch.

"I missed you so much," she muttered in between kisses before finally pulling back and frowning. "I am so sorry that Metatron kidnapped you and we had no idea…"

"It's okay, Elle. I know what I have to do now." Cas pulled her closer and walked into the room, closing the door behind them with his foot. "But that can wait. First, there's something I need to take care of."

He tossed her onto the bed and followed suit, hovering over her and running his hands up and down her smooth thighs, kissing her neck and reveling in the way she writhed beneath him.

"Cas, please," Amriel sighed, threading her fingers in his hair and pulling him up to meet her lips. She felt his warm fingers slide up her shirt and she arched into his touch, wanting more. His lips went back to her neck, and Amriel turned her head to give him better access when she saw the sigil painted on the wall.

"What is that?" she asked, pushing Castiel away and getting off of the bed, walking up to the wall and inspecting the sigil like they hadn't just been making out.

When he didn't answer, Amriel turned around and stared at him expectantly.

"Who are you going to summon here?" the blonde asked again, crossing her arms over her chest and narrowing her gaze.

Heaving a sigh, Cas explained everything that had happened when Metatron had him— Gabriel, Metatron's talk, and how he thought he had to gather the rest of the undecided angels so they could band together.

"Are you sure about this? We already have enough on our plate…."

"I know, but if we want to find Metatron and re-open Heaven, we're going to need all the help we can get," he told her, getting up from the bed and heading towards the wall and picking up the knife he had used earlier. "Are you still willing to help? I understand if you aren't."

Amriel frowned, wondering why he would think she would back out. Maybe he was used to it with the Winchesters not supporting him for the past few years.

"If you think it'll work, let's do it. I trust you and your judgement, Cas."

She watched him nod in appreciation and slice his palm, wincing even though she knew it didn't hurt him. Castiel completed the sigil with a few strokes and walked over to the door, opening it to find twenty or so angels standing outside.

"Please, come in," he said, motioning for them all to enter, and Amriel took a deep breath, nodding to the angels as they came into the room, welcoming them with a small smile on her face as they all gathered inside.

She had no idea what was going to come of this, but as long as they dealt with Metatron and got Castiel's grace back, that's all that mattered to her.


	28. Stability

Amriel paced the office she shared with Cas nervously, waiting for the Winchesters to arrive. A month had passed since they arrived back at their headquarters with twenty new angels on their side, and things had been quiet on the Metatron front until someone overheard an angel named Ezra speaking freely about the scribe in a bar.

She smoothed out the skirt of her dress, feeling stifled by the stiff material that had been sold to her as  _business attire_. Cas had told her that she should probably look more professional when they were at the headquarters, that way she would be taken more seriously. So she was trying it out and so far she wasn't a fan.

Castiel appeared in the doorway, a small smile finding its way onto his face when he saw her standing there in her green dress and black high heels, looking up at the map up on the wall, her back facing him. He cleared his throat, watching her jump and turn around quickly.

"Hey Cas, are they here?" she asked, walking towards him and taking his hand, squeezing gently. "And how did things go with Ezra. Did you find anything out?"

"Not yet, to both of your questions. Are you all right? You seem nervous." Castiel stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, effectively ensuring that they were alone.

"I'm fine. Just anxious for Sam and Dean to get here. This is the closest we've gotten to any information about Metatron aside from him kidnapping you… I don't want it to slip through our fingers," she shrugged, pulling him over to the conference table and sitting on top of it. "These new clothes are uncomfortable. How do you wear that suit all the time?"

"I guess I'm just used to it. You look stunning, though. This shade of green is very becoming, if I do say so myself."

Cas was standing in front of her now, staring down at her as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Amriel smiled, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close, breathing in deeply.

"You're my favorite being in all of creation, Castiel. Don't ever forget that," she mumbled into his chest, frowning slightly when he put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back a little bit.

"And you're mine. Now, I'm going to ask Dean to do something that I'm not sure you'll be comfortable with. Will you be able to spend time with Sam while I supervise the interrogation?"

She knew that interrogation meant torture, but Cas was just phrasing it differently to make her feel better. She hated the idea of torturing a fellow angel after what Urim had done to her, but she knew that it was for the greater good.

Amriel was going to reply, but someone knocked on the door to the office and Cas turned around quickly. Before he could go to answer it, she grabbed his coat and stopped him.

"I'll keep Sam occupied while you and Dean do what you need to do."

Cas nodded, pressing a quick kiss to her lips before going and opening the door to find Benjamin standing there, a nervous look on his face as he glanced between the two angels.

"Sir, and Ma'am. The Winchesters are here."

Castiel hugged the brothers one at a time as soon as he saw them, followed by Amriel, who squeezed Sam tightly, feeling at ease with one of her charges nearby.

"Um… dismissed," Cas told Benjamin, who nodded and took his leave. He turned back to Sam and Dean, "He can be a little stuffy."

"So… He referred to you two as the Commanders when we got here," Dean gestured between Cas and Amriel, who looked at one another.

The blonde rolled her eyes and Cas explained, "Yeah.. Not our idea. They had no leader, and insisted on following me, but I wouldn't do it without Amriel as my equal."

"Yeah. No, we get it. You guys are rock stars," Dean said and the angels couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"Bartholomew is dead," Castiel told him. "Malachi was murdered by Gadreel, and with Metatron as powerful as he is now, we needed to do something."

Sam asked if the war between angels was really going to happen, looking to Amriel, who gestured for Cas to answer.

"Not if we can find a diplomatic option for getting rid of Metatron," he said, and Dean rolled his eyes, mumbling  _"Good luck with that."_

"This angel-on-angel violence has to end. Someone has to say 'enough,'" Cas told the pair, a look of determination on his face that Amriel was really familiar with.

"Is that someone you?" Sam asked, glancing between the two angels again, and Amriel decided to bring them to the task at hand.

"That's why you're here," she cut in. "We have an angel from Metatron's inner circle, and we need to know what they're planning. According to Cas, he's revealed nothing so far."

"So, you're done with the rough stuff, and you want us to be your goons?" Dean asked, and Amriel narrowed her eyes.

"You've had success at these situations before," Castiel said in a matter-of-fact tone. "If you don't want to do it, I understand."

Amriel had seen this tactic on TV before, getting someone to do what you want by insinuating that they wouldn't want to do it. It worked on the shows she watched, and it worked now too.

"Who says I don't want to do it?" Dean shot back, and Cas looked to Amriel, nodding.

"Come with me then. Sam, would you like to stay here with Amriel? She can show you around—"

"No, I'd like to join you if you don't mind," Sam interjected, and Amriel raised her eyebrows at her charge.

Nodding, Castiel led them to the makeshift interrogation room, walking in with purpose, his trench coat billowing behind him as he moved around the tied up angel, motioning to him so the Winchesters could see for themselves.

"You're wasting your time," Ezra said. "I have nothing to say."

"We disagree," Dean smirked, reaching into his jacket and pulling out an angel blade.

Amriel's eyes widened and she took that as their cue to leave. She motioned to Cas, nodding towards the door. He picked up on it and as he made his way over, Amriel turned to Sam. She touched his arm, smiling when he looked down at her, a curious look on his face as she stood on her tip toes to speak to him.

"Cas and I are going to leave you guys to it. Please, don't let him kill Ezra," Amriel whispered, "We can't lose him. He's our only lead."

Sam placed a hand on her shoulder, his fingers squeezing gently in a reassuring manner.

"I promise, Amriel, I won't let anything happen. We'll get him to talk," he said quietly, aware that Cas was watching them with narrowed eyes. Sam let go of the blonde and took a step back, coughing awkwardly and looking to Cas and nodding.

"Let us know if you need anything. We'll be in the office you were brought to when you got here," Cas told Sam before taking Amriel's hand and escorting her out of the room.

When the pair got to their office, Castiel closed the door behind them before turning to look at the blonde with a look on his face that she saw as concern.

"I heard what you asked of Sam," he finally said. "I'm worried about Dean as well… The mark of Cain is changing him, and it's not for the better."

"Whatever is going on with Dean, I don't want it to affect Sam. I'll do what I need to in order to keep him safe, even if that means splitting them up." Amriel said, pulling at her dress again, trying not to make it obvious that she hated the garment she was wearing.

Cas looked at her curiously, watching her fidget and tug on the emerald dress. She looked uncomfortable, standing there in her tall heels with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I just want to change into something less  _itchy_ ," she mumbled, looking up as he moved across the room so he was standing in front of her.

He leaned in close, his lips a mere millimeter away from her ear, his hot breath hitting her neck as he spoke in a low tone, "I'll be glad to take it off you when we get home tonight."

Amriel felt chills run through her entire body and her eyes fluttered shut, groaning quietly when Cas ran his hands down her sides, coming to rest on her butt. He squeezed, making her gasp in surprise.

"If you keep this up, my dress is gonna come off right here," Amriel told him, pressing a kiss to his jaw and running her fingers through his hair, smiling as she watched a look cross over his face that she knew all too well. He wanted her, just as much as she wanted him, but she knew now wasn't the time.

So, she pulled out of his grasp, kissing him one more time before straightening his tie and fixing his hair.

"Come on, let's go see if we can listen in on their interrogation."

The pair stood outside of the room the Winchesters were currently in, leaning against the wall, Amriel's shoulder pressed against Cas's arm as they listened intently to what was going on behind that door.

 _"Buddy, the gates are sealed. No one can get in,"_  Sam said.

 _"Who said anything about gates?"_  Ezra answered.  _"You don't need gates when you have a private portal."_

 _"Right. If there was a doorway on Earth, the angels would've sensed it,"_  Sam explained like it was obvious, and Amriel narrowed her eyes— she definitely would've known if there was a doorway.

She had missed what Dean said, it was probably something sarcastic and goading, but she heard Ezra's reply,  _"You can if it moves around from place to place, if it's wherever the boss wants it to be."_

Amriel glanced up at Cas, and she saw the look on his face, knowing that every angel would be able to feel it if there was a doorway on Earth.

They continued to listen as Sam and Dean went back and forth with Ezra, belittling the angel they were holding hostage, calling him a Metatron fanboy until they got him talking about a squad he had applied for a position with.

The Winchesters left the room, Dean mumbling, "Dim bulb.. No wonder he got bumped."

"Yeah. 'Ground forces'? 'Elite secret squad'? What's Metatron gearing up for?" Sam asked, looking at Cas and Amriel as they walked down the hallway.

"I don't know — why don't we shove somebody through the back door of Heaven and find out? Oh, wait. No, it's portable and can't be found," Dean rolled his eyes.

The four walked down the hall towards the office Amriel and Cas shared, and as they were about to enter, Mihr called out to them, saying that Ezra was dead.

* * *

Amriel ran a hand through her hair and gazed at the bar, watching Cas order another round of drinks as she thought about how someone could've gotten in to kill Ezra minutes after the Winchesters' interrogation.

She thought about their conversation with the brothers, and their talk with Sam after that, where Castiel pressed him about the time Gadreel was possessing him. Sam thought the angel had unfinished business, and that wouldn't surprise Amriel, seeing as he had been locked away for eons.

Sam and Dean had gone back to their motel, but Cas and Amriel had decided to go and get a few drinks at the bar down the street from where they were staying. It had been a while since they had gone anywhere that didn't have to do with Heaven or Metatron, so here they were, on their third round of beers.

The blonde was so lost in thought she didn't realize a man was now standing across from her, looking down at her even though she was at a tall table. He waved a hand, catching her attention and flashing a charming smile as he introduced himself.

"I couldn't help but notice you all alone, sittin' pretty. I'm Will," he said, and Amriel watched him carefully, taking in his sandy blond hair and pale green eyes. He looked like he was around her vessel's age, and he was wearing a t-shirt with the local college's logo on it.

"Well, Will, I'm actually waiting for my boyfriend.. He's just getting us drinks," Amriel told him politely, nodding towards Cas.

Will laughed and Amriel narrowed her eyes in confusion as he said, "Oh damn… I thought he was like your coworker or a professor or something. Why are you with someone like him when you could have drinks with someone your age, like me, for instance."

She wanted to tell him that she was far closer to Castiel's age than she was his, but she bit the inside of her cheek, feeling annoyance bubbling up inside her.

"It's none of your business why I'm with him," she snapped. "Maybe I like the fact that he's mature, unlike the brat standing in front of me."

"Who are you calling a brat, little lady?" Will tightened his grip on his can of beer causing it to crush inwards, and Amriel felt the urge to recoil but she remained in place. There was nothing this human could do to her that would actually cause any harm.

"I think you'd better leave her alone."

Castiel's voice came from behind Will, who turned around, and Amriel saw that he was holding two glasses of beer and had an annoyed look on his face.

"Sure, man. whatever you say," the man rolled his eyes and turned back to Amriel, "If you ever wanna hook up, I go to school ten minutes from here."

Before she could even respond he had walked back over to his friends, and Amriel turned her attention to Cas, who was staring at the back of Will's head with laser focus.

"Castiel?" she asked, and he immediately looked at her, a forced smile appearing on his face as he set down their beers and took his seat.

"Was that man bothering you? I could hear some of your conversation, but not much. It's too loud in here," he muttered, taking her hand and squeezing gently.

"He was just being a nuisance, like the guys at the bar we went to with Marissa." Amriel took a sip of her beer and shrugged. "I don't like that people look at us and see an age difference. We're thousands of years old…"

Cas sighed, clearly tired from today's events, and Amriel found herself a little sad. She wasn't used to seeing him this exhausted all the time. It takes a lot to wear an angel down, but this hunt for Metatron was doing a number on him- on all of them, really.

"It's a social stigma, Elle," he finally said, taking his hand back and loosening his tie. "There's nothing to do but ignore it."

He watched Amriel's eyes narrow for a moment before she smirked and leaned in close to him, her lips a nearly touching his ear as she whispered, "Wanna give that guy something to talk about?"

Castiel didn't have a chance to answer. The blonde had finished her beer and squeezed his thigh as she got up. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and grabbed his tie, pulling him in for a kiss that clearly meant she was putting on a show for the fun of it. Amriel ended the kiss, her grip on his tie firm as she pulled him up and off of the chair, and as she led him out of the bar, she watched Will and his friend gaze at one another in shock and jealousy, if she was reading them correctly.

In the parking lot, Amriel pushed Cas up against the car and loosened his tie a bit more, moving the collar of his shirt so her lips could trail up and down his neck, settling on one spot that made him groan. She kept a hold on his tie to keep him still, lightly scraping his skin with her teeth as her other hand made its way down towards his belt buckle, and she felt him tense up.

"Get in the car," he said burying his hand in her hair and pulling her back so he could stare down into her eyes. "Now."

Amriel wasn't sure what to do— he had never commanded her to do anything, so she looked up at him in confusion and he rolled his eyes.

"What?" she asked, and Cas tilted his head up towards the sky, letting out an annoyed sound as he looked back down at her and enunciated, "Get. in. the car. We're going back to the motel so I can tear that dress off of you and touch every inch of you that I can get my hands on."

A shiver ran down her spine and she felt her heart begin to race, not even realizing how he was practically demanding they have sex. All she could focus on was how entrancing his low voice and how his hand was still in her hair as he pushed himself away from the car- his grip wasn't tight, but it wasn't gentle either, and she felt heat spreading through her.

Cas opened the driver's side door and he finally let go of her, motioning for Amriel to get in and move over, climbing inside when she did and taking off out of the parking lot for the motel.

His hand didn't leave her thigh the entire time he drove, and Amriel noticed him tracing patterns along her exposed skin. She took his hand and held it to her lips, pressing a kiss to his each of his fingertips and glancing to see if he was paying attention to the road.

Amriel moved their hands down to the hemline of her dress, biting her lip as she guided his fingers under the fabric, her eyes watching him carefully the entire time. His eyebrows raised slightly, but his gaze remained on the road ahead of them. The blonde took this as a challenge, and moved his hand further up her dress, positioning herself in her seat so he could feel that she wasn't wearing any underwear.

When his jaw clenched and his eyes flashed over to her, Amriel knew she had won. They pulled into the parking lot of the motel, barely registering that the Impala was parked a few hundred feet away as they got out of the car, nor did either of them hear the Dean's low whistle as they rushed into their room and slammed the door behind them.

* * *

The next morning while they were getting up and ready for the day, Amriel couldn't stop thinking about what had happened last night. Cas had been rough— he had disrobed her quickly and pushed her onto the bed, but after that he focused solely on pleasing her and nothing else. She remembered how he wouldn't allow her to reciprocate after he had gone down on her, saying that all he cared about was making her happy.

Amriel saw in the mirror that her neck was covered in dark red marks, courtesy of Castiel just a half an hour ago, and she glanced behind her to see him shrugging on his trench coat, pretty much ready to leave.

"I'm going to head out, Elle," he said, coming into the bathroom and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him and resting his chin on her shoulder. "I have a meeting to get to."

"Oh? Who are you meeting with?" Amriel turned around and smirked up at him, "Is there any way I could convince you to stay?"

"As much as I'd like to, I have to get going. I'm having Hannah send a car to pick you up in an hour," he said with a small frown before he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I promise I'll make it up to you later."

"If it's anything like what you did to me last night and this morning, I'm totally fine with that promise," Amriel smiled, "I don't know where you're going, but please be safe."

Castiel said that he would, and with one more kiss, he left the motel and Amriel was alone.

The blonde heaved a sigh as she did her makeup and got dressed, noticing that her inner thighs were also covered in bruises. Amriel flushed, wondering if Cas would really follow through on his promise.

It wasn't long before Mihr picked her up in a black SUV, taking her to headquarters where she checked in with Hannah and was briefed on the findings for the morning so far. The lack of news on Metatron's whereabouts was unsettling. Amriel just wanted to find the scribe and deal with him so she and Cas could get on with their lives.

She was tired, that was for sure. They hadn't made any progress and she hadn't heard from Cas, so Amriel was sitting at the desk in their office, her head in one of her hands as she browsed the Internet for any sort of sign of weird occurrences that might point to Metatron. Her phone began to ring and she looked down at it, seeing that it was Marissa calling.

"Hey Marissa, now's not really a good time-"

Amriel was cut off by her friend, who sounded far angrier than she had ever heard before,  _"I'm texting you something right now that you need to fucking explain to me or I'm gonna freak out."_

"What are you talking about?" Amriel asked before her phone buzzed and she looked to see the text. It contained a photo of a missing poster, and Amriel felt her heart stop when she saw the eyes of her vessel staring back up at her.

_"You're a missing person? Amy, why didn't you tell me!"_

The blonde had no idea what to say, so she fumbled over her words, "Marissa… I, l can explain."

_"Is this why you wanted to stay at the women's shelter? Are you hiding from someone here?"_

"Yes!" Amriel blurted all too quickly, relieved her friend had provided an excuse for her. "I was trying to get away from an ex and I just kinda took off without telling anyone."

_"Look, I know all about wanting to run away- hell, it's what I did when I came here, but you need to call your family and let them know you're not being held against your will."_

Suddenly Amriel was overcome with sadness- she had essentially kidnapped Amy Grant, though it wasn't exactly against her will.

"Okay… I'll do that. Look, I need to go, but I promise I'll call my parents soon…"

After saying their goodbyes, Amriel looked at the photo Marissa had sent her and bit her lip, memorizing it and typing it in before pressing send.

A voice answered and Amriel tried to remember all of Amy's memories to figure out who it was, when she realized it was the girl's mother, Heather Grant.

"Mom?" Amriel asked, trying her best to sound like the daughter that had gone missing.

_"Amy? Is that really you?"_

Amriel said yes, and she could hear the woman begin to cry on the other end of the line. She felt awful for what she was doing- giving this woman false hope that her daughter was alive.

_"Where are you sweetheart? Are you okay? Dad and I can come get you—"_

"I'm okay, mom. I just…" Amriel took a deep breath. "I needed to take some time to myself. Life has been really weird lately, and I needed to get away. I'm okay, I promise. But I don't know when I'm going to be coming home."

 _"What do you mean, you're not coming home? Amy, we've been looking for you for months!"_  Heather's voice began to raise and Amriel felt tears begin to well up in her eyes, knowing she was doing nothing but hurting this poor woman.

She thought back to all of those TV movies she had been watching over the past few months, trying to figure out what she could say that would cause the least amount of pain.

"I met someone. He's really great, but he's not interested in living the city life. So we're traveling the country. I just need to do this, okay?" Amriel paused, hoping that this would work. "I love you, mom. But please, stop looking for me. I'm fine."

Amriel hung up before Heather could reply, tossing her phone onto the desk and covering her face with her hands, unable to keep herself from crying any longer.

 _"I'm despicable,"_  she thought to herself.  _"What kind of angel does something like that to an innocent human…"_

She didn't know how long she was like that, sobbing at the desk until she heard the door open and footsteps approaching her quickly.

"Amriel? What's going on? Hannah said you've been in here for hours-" Cas cut himself off when he saw her, slumped down in her chair and her face wet with tears. "Are you all right?"

The blonde looked up, wiping at her cheeks and trying to make herself look presentable. She said that she was fine, avoiding his gaze as she began to tidy up the desk.

"Elle, tell me what happened," he said gently, taking her hand and pulling her out of the chair.

"Marissa called. She sent me a photo of a missing poster for my vessel," Amriel explained in a quiet voice, "She told me to  _call my parents_  and let them know I'm okay. So, I called the number on the poster and it was Amy's mother. I- I pretended to be Amy told her to stop looking for me. I feel awful, Cas."

Castiel stared down at the angel standing before him, watching her grey eyes, glassy with tears, and he felt for her. He knew what it was like to interact with Jimmy Novak's family, so he knew what she was feeling. Cas wanted nothing more than to take her back to the motel and hold her as she cried, but he had too much to tell her.

"It will be okay, I promise. I'm sure you did the right thing, putting her mind at ease somewhat," he told her, grasping her hand and lacing their fingers together. "There's something I need to tell you"

It turned out that Castiel's meeting had been with Gadreel. They were supposed to meet alone, but they were ambushed by several of Metatron's followers. Cas had been trying to talk Gadreel into come to their side and serve as a spy against Metatron, since clearly he had a mole inside their camp.

"Are you sure we can trust him?" Amriel asked, "He  _has_  been locked up for eons… What if he's deceiving us?"

"I think he just wants to do the right thing," Cas said with a shrug. "We all do."

"Well you're right about that," she nodded in agreement. "Is there anything here that you need to do or can we go?"

"I've already debriefed those who needed it, so we can leave." Cas said, watching a small smile pull at the corners of her lips, and he led her out of the office and through the command center, well aware of Hannah's gaze on them the entire time as he remembered what he had told her when he arrived.

_"Amriel is not stable, sir. She's been in the office crying for an hour… I think the pressure has gotten to her. She should be relieved of her duties-"_

_Cas turned his head sharply, glaring down at Hannah and she immediately stopped speaking._

_"Amriel is my partner. She will serve as commander just as I do, regardless of what you seem to think of her mental state. I will talk to her and find out what's going on."_

_"Castiel— are you sure about this? What if she's the one relaying information to Metatron?"_

_Pivoting his entire body to face her now, Cas approached Hannah, backing her against the wall as he gave her the most menacing look he could._

_"If you_  ever  _make an accusation like that again, I will strip you of your rank and you will be left to fend for yourself in this fight. Do I make myself clear?"_

_"Crystal, sir," Hannah nodded._


	29. Splitting Up

"Thank you for coming," Castiel greeted Sam and Dean when they walked into the Colonel Scoop ice cream shop, motioning for them come closer.

The Winchesters each shook the angel's hand, Sam looking around until he spotted Amriel talking with one of the paramedics. He caught her eye and nodded in greeting. She nodded back, excusing herself from the woman she had been speaking to so she could join them.

"Spears and Aguilera?" Dean asked, annoyed by the awful aliases Cas had chosen.

"I've noticed your aliases are usually the names of popular musicians," Cas shot back, and Amriel interjected.

"We've chosen to use popular actors. I'm Agent Hanks, he's Agent Ryan," she said with a proud look on her face, and Dean rolled his eyes, "Wow."

They walked over to a body on a gurney to see that the woman's eyes were burned out of her head.

"The other bodies are the same — burnt out husks," Castiel said, narrowing his eyes at the body and pulling the sheet back in place.

"So, what is this? Some sort of mass smiting?" Dean asked and Amriel said they had never seen anything like it before.

"Six humans died here," she told them, "and one angel."

Sam asked if the angel was one of theirs and Cas nodded, "He was a good soldier. This attack, though… I knew he wanted a war, but this… This is abhorrent, even for him."

"We should gather the evidence and get back to the command center," Amriel suggested, sending Cas a look that neither Winchester could decipher.

* * *

The four entered the command center to see that the place was bustling with angels. Hannah rose to greet them, and Amriel noticed that her eyes were on Castiel the whole time.

"Commanders," the brunette spoke, and Amriel groaned inwardly.

"Oh, this is just creepy," Dean mumbled, and Amriel shot him a glance.

"Sam, Dean, this is Hannah," Cas introduced, motioning to the dark haired angel before them.

"The Winchesters," she mused. "I've heard so much about you."

"What can I say? These two are big fans," Dean grinned and this time Amriel actually rolled her eyes.

An angel in a red shirt approached and took the box of evidence that Cas had been holding, saying that he would start to examine it, causing Dean to stutter, unable to get anything out as Hannah interrupted.

"Commanders, this morning, Josiah wasn't at roll call."

"Uh, roll call?" Sam asked, "You hold  _roll call?_ "

"They like to hear me say their names," Cas explained, and Amriel frowned slightly.

"I know a couple of women like that," Dean winked at the blonde, who shot him a glare.

"No one's seen Josiah since Ezra was murdered. We think that—"

Sam cut Hannah off, "You think Josiah's the killer. That he's the mole?"

"Well, who else? We searched the grounds, but he's vanished," Hannah told them.

"Not without wings," Dean said. "He's an angel, but he's still got to travel like a human, which means walk, drive— mean's he's gonna leave a trail."

Sam sat down at a computer and asked what Josiah's vessel's name was. Amriel answered that he was Sean Flynn from Omaha, and within seconds, Sam turned the computer screen to show a picture of a driver's license that had a familiar image on it.

"This the guy?" he asked, and Cas nodded his head. "All right. Looks like someone just used his credit card at a Gas-N-Sip in Colorado."

"And that's how we do things in the pros," Dean smirked.

"Commanders," the angel in the red shirt interrupted, "I have something. This phone's memory chip has a video time-stamped just before the explosion."

The video began to play, showing footage from inside the Colonel Scoop.

_"And now the moment you've all been waiting for," the customer said, and as a woman asked what was going on and a little girl screamed 'no,' the man ripped open his coat to reveal a sigil carved into his chest. He rammed an angel blade through his heart as he yelled, "I do this for Castiel!"_

Amriel felt Cas take a hold of her hand, squeezing tightly as the ice cream shop exploded and the video went dead.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked, turning to face his friend with an accusing look on his face.

"I don't know. I didn't — I would  _never_  ask an angel to sacrifice himself to kill innocents. I'm gonna be sick…"

Amriel saw the way his face had paled, and she worried that he was truly going to vomit.

"Cas, why would an angel blow up a Colonel Scoop's in your name?" Sam asked, trying to figure out a reason for himself.

"That's not what he was doing. Roll it back. There," Hannah pointed to the girl in the booth. "That was an angel. Esther. She's one of Metatron's."

"So this was some kind of hit?" Sam asked, and Amriel began to rack her brain, trying to figure out if she knew that sigil from somewhere.

"I don't know," Cas said once again, squeezing her hand like his life depended on it.

"Stop saying you don't know!" Dean hissed, and Amriel took a step so she was standing between Cas and the Winchester, ready to put an end to things quickly if she needed to.

"You can't think I would allow something like this. That  _we_  would allow this," Castiel looked at Dean, wishing his friend would believe him.

"Cas, I know you try to be a good guy, okay? I do. You try. But what you and Amriel got here, this is a freakin' cult."

" _Dean_ ," Amriel warned, but he just kept talking.

"And the last time you had this kind of juice, you did kill humans and angels, and you did nothing but lie to me and Sam about it the whole damn time!"

"Can we, uh… Can we take this somewhere else, guys?" Sam asked, and Amriel nodded quickly, pulling Cas towards their office, not really caring if Sam and Dean were following them.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Amriel glared at Dean and told him to calm down.

"Seriously, Dean. Will you stow the baggage?" Sam agreed with the blonde. "Look, we've got a case. Let's work it. Did you two know the angel in that video?"

"Yes, his name was Oren," Cas nodded. "He was a new recruit. He worked in community outreach."

"And what does that mean?" Dean asked, and Cas looked to Amriel to explain. It had been her idea, after all.

"Some of our troops are stationed at a local hospital," she told them. "Their job is to help where they can, minor miracles, nothing that would gain attention."

Sam asked what had been going on in the video when Oren stabbed himself, and Cas went on to explain that the Enochian runes carved into his chest were possibly meant to focus energy, and that when he stabbed himself it unleashed the power of his grace.

"So, what about the girl?" Sam asked, "What happened to her?"

"If she was the target, if the blast was focused on her, then more likely than not, she was atomized," Cas answered sadly. "So, what do we do now?"

"Well, the two of you don't do jack. Me and Sam will head to the hospital, see if we can find somebody who knew this walking nuke," Dean told him, looking between Cas and Amriel, the latter of whom wore an annoyed look on her face. "What? You got a problem?"

"Yes, Dean, I do have a problem," she snapped. "These are our people. We can help!"

"That's sort of the problem. I mean, the Manson girls aren't gonna give us a straight answer with Charlie in the room, so just hang back," Dean pointed to Cas, and Amriel raised an eyebrow. "What? Obviously they answer to him. Do they like it when  _you_  do roll call?"

Amriel tore her eyes away from the older Winchester, staring down at the floor. He was right. They were always so eager to do things for Castiel but when it was her asking, it was like pulling teeth.

"What, does that make me a  _Manson girl_ , then?" Amriel looked back up at Dean. She read  _Helter Skelter_  a month ago. Of course she knew what he had been referencing.

"No, uh you're not," Dean began to backtrack. "Because  _he_  actually likes you the way you like him."

"So, I should just sit here?" Cas asked, and Amriel wasn't surprised when Dean said yes. She was surprised, however, when Castiel said that they would follow Josiah's trail to Colorado.

"What?!" she blurted out, turning to face him, unable to see the surprised way the Winchesters looked at each other behind her back.

"We have to do something, Elle. If you don't want to come, I'll go alone-"

"Sam will go with you," Dean interrupted, and Amriel looked over her shoulder at him, glaring slightly.

"And what will you do, Dean? Stay here?" she asked.

Amriel didn't want to leave him here with all of their troops unattended, so she suggested that she would stay with Dean. The older Winchester rolled his eyes at her, saying that he didn't need supervision.

"I will not have you interrogating our people—" Amriel stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She knew it was Cas, so she fell silent, allowing him to speak.

"Elle will stay here with you and keep an eye on things. Sam will come with me to Colorado. Is that amenable to everyone?"

Sam nodded, while Dean looked annoyed, and Amriel didn't like how tense he was. It was almost like he was always hopped up on adrenaline, now matter how calm the situation around him was. It unnerved her, honestly.

"Fine," Dean agreed, and when Cas turned to gather some things from the desk, Amriel approached Sam and ushered him into a corner so they could speak without being overheard.

Amriel stared up at the man, still amazed by how tall he was in comparison to her vessel, and she finally said, "Please watch out for him. I would rather go with you two, but I think I need to keep an eye on your brother."

"I will, I promise," Sam said in that serious tone of his, and she knew he would do as he said. "I trust you, Amriel. I wouldn't leave Dean with just  _any_  angel."

* * *

Cas and Sam were on their way to Colorado, and needless to say it wasn't the most exciting road trip Castiel had ever been on. He missed traveling with Amriel— she would tell him about TV shows she was watching or joke with him in Enochian.

Sam had just told Cas that Abbadon was dead, and that Dean had killed her using the First Blade. Cas knew it was going to happen eventually, but he wasn't sure what that meant for Dean now.

"Does Dean seem different to you?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the road as he spoke.

"Yeah. Lately, he seems to be… amped up. You know, on edge," Sam answered.

"He does seem angry. I mean, he's always a little angry, but now it seems like… more," Cas said sadly. "I think a part of him actually believed that I ordered those angels to, you know… Sam, you don't, do you?"

He spared a glance at the Winchester in the passenger seat, watching him furrow his eyebrows before he finally answered.

"No, man. Cas, listen. You and Elle got a weird thing going on back there. Those other angels… The way they stare at you, it's like you're part rock star, part L. Ron.," Sam told him. "But I can tell some of them don't feel the same way about Amriel. What's that about?"

"They put their faith in me, and I only agreed to lead them if Amriel was seen as my equal. She's… had a hard time adjusting to the role, but she's trying…"

"Maybe that's the problem, them putting their faith in you. People have been doing messed up crap in the name of faith, in the name of God, since forever."

Cas could see where Sam was trying to go with this. There was no way he was trying to do what he did when he opened Purgatory.

"Well, I'm not trying to play God," Cas told him, "I'm just trying to get my people home."

* * *

"I need you to let me talk to her alone," Dean said to Amriel outside of the room that held an angel that he was going to interrogate about Oren.

"I really don't think that's necessary," Amriel argued back. "You're not exactly the most tactful person and she's done nothing but her job."

"You don't trust me?" he asked, swiftly approaching her so they were nearly standing chest to chest.

Amriel looked him up and down, taking in his tense stance and a look similar to the one he wore when they first met on his face. She shook her head, determined to keep him from hurting any of her team.

"It isn't that, Dean. I just want to make sure that things go smoothly. If you won't let me sit in, you won't get to talk to her." She was going to stand her ground no matter what, regardless of what the Winchester said.

Dean stared back at her, almost like he was trying to get her to back down, but when he realized that she wasn't, he conceded.

"Fine," he sighed, taking a step back as Amriel smiled slightly, opening the door for him and following behind quickly.

Dean sat across from the angel wearing a doctor's coat, and Amriel leaned against the wall beside the door, making eye contact with the angel and nodding so she knew Amriel had her back.

"So what do I call you?" Dean asked, starting things off better than Amriel had him to.

"My angelic name is 18 syllables long. Let's stick with Flagstaff," she answered, and Amriel smiled to herself.

She listened intently as Flagstaff and Dean went back and forth, Dean asking questions with a sarcastic tone and Flagstaff answering honestly, up until she asked if she could get back to the hospital. Before she knew it, Dean had thrown the table between the two and pushed Flagstaff and her chair backwards, catching them before they could hit the ground. The moment Dean had an angel blade to her throat, Amriel's voice rang out.

"Enough!"

"Don't let him do this— please," Flagstaff breathed, and Amriel could see the fear in her eyes, but she knew Dean wasn't going to do anything. She wouldn't let him.

"Oren. Friends?" Dean asked, and Amriel raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued by his question.

"Constantine and Tessa," she answered, and a flicker of something Amriel didn't recognize ran over Dean's face.

"Tessa? The reaper, Tessa?" he asked, and Flagstaff asked if he knew her, but Dean ignored the angel, tucking the blade away and sitting her chair upright.

"Dean, stay right there," Amriel ordered, using an authoritative voice that even he knew not to defy. "Flagstaff, please, come with me."

Amriel took the angel out into the hallway and put her hands on her shoulders, looking her over for any signs of injury.

"I'm sorry it got that far. Dean… Has his ways, but I promise you that I wasn't going to let him hurt you," she said, watching Flagstaff glare back at her.

"His use of force was  _completely_  out of line. I cannot believe you let him—"

"I  _said_  you were safe in there. I know how to handle the Winchesters, Flagstaff, and I will not have you questioning my actions," Amriel stopped herself, taking a deep breath before she continued. "I appreciate your cooperation. Please return to your duties."

She watched Flagstaff walk off and once she was out of view, she went back in the boiler room to find Dean pacing.

"Was it really necessary to threaten her with a blade?" Amriel asked, watching him stop mid-step and turn to look at her.

"Why? Did it bring back some memories?" Dean shot her a suggestive look and the angel felt a wave of disgust roll through her. Something was going on with him and she  _did not_  like it.

"Don't test my patience, Dean, seriously," she shot back, "I'm not some lackey you can walk all over."

Amriel watched him stroll right up to her and lean down, their faces only an inch or two apart. She could see in his eyes that something wasn't quite there, but she wasn't sure what was missing.

"Oh really?" he said in a low voice, "You think I wouldn't slice your pretty little neck with an angel blade?"

"Castiel would never forgive you if you did, and neither would Sam," Amriel hissed, making sure she held eye contact with him the entire time. She didn't want to give him the chance to disarm her.

"That's what you think, Blondie. Sure, they'd be mad at first, but in the end you're just another disposable angel," Dean paused, looking her up and down again, "Only you just so happen to be in a much better looking meat suit."

Using both hands and as much force as she could muster, Amriel shoved Dean back, watching a smirk cross his lips as he went for the door.

"I'm going to go find Tessa. You stay here and, uh, play Commander," he said, opening the door and slamming it shut behind him.

Once he was gone, Amriel released the breath she had been holding in.

* * *

Sam and Cas pulled up outside of a warehouse in Pray, Montana. A man at a gas station in Colorado had told them that Josiah had been heading here, and Castiel could feel that it was radiating power.

"I haven't felt anything like this since… since Heaven," Cas told the Winchester. "We have to get in there."

"All right then," Sam said, pulling out his kit to pick the lock.

When his lock pick didn't work, Sam threw his shoulder against the door a few times, but no matter what he did it wouldn't budge.

"Step aside, I got this," Cas finally said, throwing his body into the door before jiggling the handle a few times. When nothing happened he frowned, "I don't got this."

They split up to try and find a way into the warehouse, and neither of them had any luck. Sam had checked the windows, while Cas looked for any sort of warding, and he was surprised by what he found.

"I think I found something," he said to Sam, holding up his hand to reveal a spell etched above the doorway. "It's Enochian. I believe it's some sort of riddle…  _'Why is six afraid of seven?'_  Now, I assume it's because seven is a prime number, and prime numbers can be intimidating."

"It's because seven ate nine," Sam said with a smile, and the door opened with a loud creak.

"It's wordplay," the angel mused, "and the answer is the key, like the doors of Durin in Lord of the Rings."

"Wait a second, you know about The Lord of the Rings?"

"I'm very pop culture savvy now," Cas said in a matter-of-fact tone, and Sam's phone began to ring.

"Hey," Sam answered, hearing his brother's gruff voice on the other end of the line.

_"How is he?"_

"He's uh… He's Cas. What about you? How's it going? How's Amriel?"

Castiel froze at the mention of the blonde angel, listening closely for Dean's response.

_"She's great. I'm great. Went out, got some air. Met an old friend. Say hi to Sam, Tessa."_

_"_ Your brother's a psycho, Sam!" Tessa huffed, making Cas frown slightly.

 _"Ha, ha. Stop,"_ Dean deadpanned, and Sam asked what was going on, but the older Winchester wanted to know what was going on with the hunt for Josiah.

"We're about to head into a warehouse in Montana. Why do you have Tessa?"

 _"I caught her about to go postal at a theater. I'm taking her back to base camp, so do your thing and head there when you're done. See ya soon,"_  Dean said before hanging up.

The two walked into the warehouse, Castiel looking around as Sam followed behind slowly.

"You sure you don't want to go back? Look, if Dean is right about Tessa…"

"No, I uh.. I do," he fumbled in response, "Just give me a second."

Cas kept going even though Sam had stopped, wondering what he was doing. He went to ask, but Sam called out for him to wait, and before he knew it he had fallen to his knees to avoid two spinning saw blades that had appeared from the wall out of nowhere.

"The Last Crusade," Sam mumbled, helping Cas up so they could keep going.

They rounded a corner to find a glowing door before them, and Castiel felt absolutely elated. This is what they had been searching for. He was going to return to Heaven…

"We found it," he mumbled, heading towards the door that was clearly resonating power and calling out to him.

"What?" Sam asked, and Cas bristled, annoyed that he couldn't feel it too.

"It's the door to Heaven."

"Seriously?"

"What else would Metatron go to such great lengths to protect? I can hear it, Sam. If we control the door, we can take the fight to Metatron… We may not even need to fight at all."

"Cas, wait-"

Sam was too late. Castiel opened the door, only to find a room with awful party decorations. Inflatable palm trees, streamers, and terrible music was playing in the background. Sam walked over to a table and picked up a card, reading from it.

"Welcome to your own personal Heaven, Castiel. Good luck finding the real one."

"But why?" Cas asked to no one in particular, and he noticed that when Sam turned around to reply, his eyes widened at something behind him. Looking over his shoulder, Castiel spotted a badly burned man leaning against the wall next to the door.

Cas leaned down next to the man, recognizing him despite the charred skin.

"It's Josiah. He reeks of holy oil…"

"Yeah, looks like he got  _Home Alone_ -ed," Sam said, motioning to an empty bucket of holy oil that hung above the door.

"So all of this — it was a lie," Cas frowned, startling when Josiah jerked awake and grabbed his wrist.

"Supposed to be here.. the gate. He told me, after Ezra, he told me that I should come to him. Metatron told me I could go home… I just wanted to go home."

"Here, let me—" Castiel moved to heal him, but Josiah stopped him.

"No!" he shouted, "I would rather die than owe my life to you, Castiel. You play at being  _noble_. You play at being one of us. But I look into your eyes, and I don't see an angel staring back at me."

Cas was speechless, and he watched as Josiah died before he stood up and backed away. What had he meant, he didn't see him as an angel? That's all Castiel knew how to be. He had failed miserably as a human. Shaking the thought from his mind, Cas finally tuned back in to whatever Sam was saying, but not really paying attention.

"We need to get out of here," he finally said.

Ignoring the look Sam had given him, Cas took off down the hall, back the way they had come, thinking about what Josiah had said.

It was going to be a long ride back to the command center.


	30. Desertion

Dean walked into the command center with Tessa in tow, and Amriel immediately met them.

"Tessa? What are you doing?" Hannah asked, and Amriel shot her a look that clearly said to stop speaking.

"You want to tell her?" Dean prompted, and when Tessa didn't speak up, he pulled back the top of her shirt to reveal the sigil he had obviously cut across.

"Oh, God," Hannah gasped from behind Amriel, and the blonde fought back a groan.

"There's no God," Tessa answered proudly, "There's only Castiel."

"Okay, you're done," Dean decided, walking Tessa down a hallway and putting her in a warded room.

Amriel and a few other angels followed behind closely, Hannah saying that he had wounded her. Once this was all sorted, Amriel was going to have to have a serious talk with her about following orders, whether they're verbal or implied.

"More like  _defused_ , okay? I cut up that old testament graffiti she carved into herself. I figured that would break the spell."

"And now what will you do?" an angel from the small crowd that had formed asked, and Dean pulled out an angel blade from his jacket.

"Torture. Predictable," Flagstaff scoffed.

"We need to know if there are other bombers out there," Dean reasoned, and Hannah cut across him.

"No. I won't allow it. I know what Tessa was planning… It's horrible, but there's only one person who can punish her."

That was it.

Amriel had had enough. She was sick of Hannah undermining her every single time she had the chance, especially in front of other angels.

"That's enough, Hannah," she finally spoke, turning to face the offending angel. "I don't know what's going on in that head of yours, but  _you_  are not in command here. I am your superior, and I will not have you disrespecting me so blatantly."

The blonde glared at her, daring her to speak up and defend herself. When she didn't, Amriel continued.

"I know I'm not Castiel, but I  _am_  his equal, and I will be treated as such."

"Ma'am, I mean no disrespect, but—" Hannah stuttered, and Amriel's gaze narrowed.

"But what, Hannah? Please, do continue."

"You have to understand that Castiel is the only thing holding us together," the brunette angel told her. "A month ago, half the angels in this place were trying to kill the other half. Castiel has given us a purpose, but more than that, he has given us a way to live in peace. We have rules. Order. And yes, Amriel, you are his equal, but many of us followed Castiel during the civil war. We are familiar with his leadership. If we let Dean take matters into his own hands, what's to stop one of them from doing the same? He can talk to her, he  _should_  talk to her. But leave the blade outside."

"She has a point, Dean. The blade will stay outside, and I will accompany you while you question Tessa," Amriel decided, holding Dean's gaze the entire time she spoke. She watched him stare back at her, and she silently hoped he would comply. Dean flipped the blade and without moving his eyes away from Amriel, he handed it handle-first to Hannah and walked into the room that held Tessa.

"Continue with what you were doing," Amriel told the group of angels, nodding to Hannah once, signaling for her to join them, before following Dean into the room as well.

"Okay, we'll start with an easy one," Dean started, "Who are you working for?"

When Tessa answered that she was working for Castiel, Hannah called her a liar, earning yet another scathing glare from Amriel.

"People like you, they never understand," Tessa said, staring at Hannah, "Sacrifices have to be made."

Amriel knew that she had a point, but she wasn't going about it in the right way.

"So you go after one of the bad guys, and if a few humans get microwaved, no big deal, right?" Dean asked.

"In the grand scheme, they don't matter," she shrugged. "When Castiel came to me and told me what I had to do, he said I was chosen because I was strong. Others, they couldn't handle this. They're too weak."

Tessa threw a pointed glance to Hannah, and Amriel watched the brunette leap forward towards Tessa. Before she could even react, Dean had grabbed Hannah's shoulders and shoved her out the door and into the hallway, closing the door and leaving Amriel alone with Tessa.

"You know Castiel didn't ask you to do this, Tessa… He would never ask another angel to sacrifice themselves for him," Amriel said as she sat in the chair that Dean had just vacated.

"Oh Amriel… You really think that you know Castiel? He said that you would try and talk me out of it, being the pacifist that you are," Tessa leaned forward, looking Amriel up and down before she said, "I don't know what he sees in you, honestly."

"It doesn't matter what you think. I see how hard you're trying to impress him, and it's rather off-putting," she said, not looking up as Dean walked into the room without Hannah. "What are you looking to get out of this?"

"I guess I just can't take the screaming," she finally said.

"Who's screaming?" Dean asked, moving to stand behind Amriel. She didn't like the way he was invading her personal space, but she let it slide for now as she listened to Tessa.

"All of them. The lost souls. The ones that can't get into Heaven now that it's been boarded up. I hear them, and they're so confused… They're in so much pain, and all I want to do is help them. It's my job, it's what I do.. You know what it's like, Amriel, hearing the prayers but being unable to do anything," Tessa tried to appeal to the blonde, "But I can't help them, so I suffered…"

"So why don't you just jam an angel blade in your throat and call it a day?" Dean asked, and Amriel shifted, uncomfortable with the thought.

"I thought about it, but I was too weak… Until Castiel gave me a reason to die."

"Yeah, see that doesn't sound like the Cas Elle and I know," Dean said, setting a hand on Amriel's shoulder, and she knew he felt her tense up, but he didn't say anything about it.

"But doesn't it though? And the Cas you know, would he raise an army of angels without telling you? 'Cause this Cas did. I'll tell you a secret," Tessa said in a fake whisper, "There's more out there like me."

Dean asked if she had names, and when Tessa wouldn't comply, Amriel heard Dean pulling something out of his jacket and she stood and turned to see the First Blade. Her eyes widened at the sight, Dean's hand firmly grasping the handle like it was an extension of himself, the look in his eyes that showed he was clearly okay with that, and she didn't even register that Tessa had asked what he had done.

"I did what I had to do," he spat. "Welcome to the club."

Before Amriel knew it, she felt herself being pushed into the table and fell to the ground as Tessa sprinted towards Dean, impaling herself on the blade.

"Thank you," she said, and a bright light filled the room, signaling the death of another angel.

Hannah burst into the room followed by a few other angels, and Amriel sat up on her knees, feeling the gash where her forehead had hit the corner of the table. Blood poured down her face as she watched the angels handcuff a combative Dean to a chair, duct taping his mouth shut once they had him secured.

"Ma'am, we should get you cleaned up," Hannah's voice came from the left and Amriel turned to see a look of concern on the brunette's face.

Amriel took one last look at Dean, who was obviously trying to communicate with her via a series of eye rolls and eyebrow gestures, and followed Hannah out of the room.

She was escorted to the restroom, where Hannah tried to clean the blood herself, but Amriel quickly took control, batting her hand away and staring in the mirror as she wiped her neck, cheek, and forehead.

"Did he do this to you?" Hannah asked, and Amriel looked at her reflection in the mirror, shaking her head.

"No, Tessa did. She pushed me so I wouldn't stop her from impaling herself on the First Blade," she answered, throwing away the paper towel and getting another handful and getting them wet. "I can't— I can't believe she did that."

"Are you sure that's what happened?"

Amriel turned around, pressing the paper towel against her forehead in an attempt to stop the bleeding, hissing at the pain. This cut must've been deeper than she thought.

"I'm  _positive_ ," she hissed, "She ran right into his blade. She wanted to kill herself… She couldn't take it anymore."

"Well, Castiel will be here soon. Mihr called and told him that you were injured…"

"That was rather unnecessary," Amriel muttered, running a free hand through her hair to keep it away from the cut. "I guess now we wait for him to get here with Sam so we can figure out what to do next."

* * *

Amriel was standing with Hannah and Mihr around one of the desks in the main room of the command center when Cas and Sam entered. Before she could move to greet them, Castiel was standing in front of her, a worried look on his face as his eyes scanned over her.

"What happened?" he asked, and Amriel was suddenly aware that everyone was watching them.

"Tessa happened," Amriel answered, avoiding eye contact with him as he held his hand to her temple and she felt the warmth of his stolen grace heal her. "Thanks, Cas."

"Commanders, we have a situation with Dean Winchester," Hannah finally interrupted, and they followed her to the room he was being held in. "He put up a fight."

"Get out," Castiel told her as soon as he saw the state Dean was in— bloodied and cuffed to a chair like a prisoner.

Sam moved toward Dean and ripped off the duct tape as Hannah left, the door slamming behind her loudly.

"Ah!" Dean groaned, "You should've seen the other ten guys."

"They said you killed Tessa," Cas said, and Amriel raised an eyebrow. They lied to him?

"Not so much. She knifed herself," Dean explained. "Amriel was there, ask her."

Amriel watched Cas turn to face her, an expectant look on his features and she nodded.

"It's true. I don't know what Hannah told you, but that's what  _I_  told her. She's chosen to ignore me, apparently…" Amriel frowned. "She was saying a lot of things, and the next thing you know, she impaled herself."

Sam questioned Dean about the First Blade, and the two bickered back and forth about some deal they had about Dean not bringing the blade in the first place.

"All right, that's enough," Cas finally said, "Stop it."

The door opened and Hannah peered in, "Commanders, I'm sorry, but Castiel has a call… From Metatron."

The four followed Hannah into the war room, where Metatron was waiting for them on a video call.

"Why hello Castiel, and my you look lovely there, Amriel. Bet neither of you are happy to see me," Metatron greeted, and Amriel felt her skin crawl. There was something about his vessel that just creeped her out.

"Is anyone ever?" Dean asked, and Metatron chuckled.

"Dean, always with the B-grade '80s-action-moivie wit."

"What do you want, Metatron?" Sam was trying to cut to the chase, but all Amriel could focus on was Cas and the fact that he was moving closer and closer to her with every passing second.

"Just to tell Ass-tiel and his little girlfriend, there, that I'm still alive. His bomber failed."

"My bomber?" Cas asked, and Amriel could tell that he had no idea what was going on.

"The crazy guy. Big knife. Kablooey. I'm fine, thanks for asking, but Gadreel is wounded, and Tyrus, RIP. His followers are  _not_  your biggest fans, by the way. They've all come over to my team," Metatron said smugly.

"I didn't send anyone to kill you," Cas said, and Metatron told him to stop lying. "Who are you to lecture me on lying? Your deception led to the Fall!"

"I did what I had to do," Metatron said, "I have always done what I have to do, for God and for the angels."

"Sure. Yeah, you're Mother Teresa with a neck beard," Dean rolled his eyes.

Amriel watched Metatron's smug face, and she was filled with rage. He had led to the deaths of hundreds of angels, and he wasn't being held accountable for his actions. She grabbed Castiel's hand as a sign of solidarity and to let him know that she was there.

"Yeah, except for the angels you had Gadreel kill," Sam pointed out.

"Okay, maybe I got a little carried away at first, but those days are over. A near-death experience makes you re-revaluate. So, one time only, I'm offering amnesty. Every angel, no matter what their sin, may join me and return to Heaven. I will be their God, and they can be my Heavenly host."

"You're doing this for yourself, Metatron," Amriel finally spoke up. "You're not offering this out of the goodness of your heart, because you're self-serving. You want us to blindly follow you so you can feel important, because God cast you aside. Guess what. He abandoned  _all_  of us, not just you."

"What's wrong with being a little self-serving if it also benefits others, Amriel? It's not like  _you_  want to lead these angels to Heaven… In fact, do you even want to return to Heaven yourself?" Metatron asked, and Amriel tensed. How did he know that?

"Why would we follow you?" Hannah asked, and Metatron smiled, like he had been waiting for just that question.

"Well, look around. You've seen Earth and had a taste of free will. Do you like it? I mean, the way you flocked off of follow Castiel and his girlfriend tells me you need to follow someone. It's in your DNA," Metatron told them. "But Cas— he's not what you think he is. He sends angels out to die. Have you told them about your stolen grace, Castiel? How it's fading away, and when it burns out, so will you? So… No then. I'm not the best, but I'm the best you've got. You want to stay with Castiel, fine. But he's playing you, because at the end of the day, the only thing he cares about his himself, Amriel, and the Hardy boys there. You've got a choice to make, so make the right one."

The screen went black and Metatron was gone. Everything was silent as Cas turned to the rest of the angels, who were all staring at him. Amriel watched silently, realizing that he had been lying to her. He hadn't said anything about the fact that his acquired grace was burning out, and she was hurt.

"He's lying," Cas finally said.

"About the grace?" Hannah asked.

"It's complicated…" he answered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trench coat.

"So, he wasn't lying," the brunette angel said plainly.

"He was lying about everything else. He.. you believe me, don't you?"

"I want to believe you, but I… We need proof," Hannah told him.

Cas said to name it, and Hannah told him to punish Dean.

"What?" Dean asked, and Hannah explained.

"He murdered Tessa. He broke our rules."

"That's not true, Hannah. I was there," Amriel decided to speak up. "Tessa did it to herself. There's no point in punishing Dean—"

"Y'all can go to hell," Dean said, turning to leave. He was stopped by a few angels, who grabbed him roughly.

"Dean," Cas called out, and Sam went to go help his brother, only to be subdued as well.

"You gave us order, Castiel, and we gave both of you our trust. Don't lose it over one man," Hannah said as she handed him an angel blade. "This is justice."

Amriel watched Cas take the blade, holding it in his right hand, and she wondered if he was actually going to do it. She knew he valued his friendship with the Winchesters, Dean especially, but she also knew that he wanted to take down Metatron in any way possible.

"No," he finally said. "I can't."

"Goodbye, Castiel," Hannah told him, turning to look at Amriel, nodding to her as well, then she and all of the angels quietly filed out of the war room, leaving the four of them standing alone.


	31. Deception

They drove to the bunker in separate cars, the Winchesters in the Impala and the angels in their own vehicle, and when they arrived it was silent for a few minutes as the brothers unpacked. Amriel looked around the room, feeling like it had been ages since she had last been there, when in reality it had been only a few months.

"So, Dean," Sam started cautiously, "Uh… Are we gonna talk about this, or what?"

"About what? Yeah, I lied, but you were being an infant."

The two argued back and forth about the First Blade, and Amriel made her way over to Cas, asking him if they could speak in private.

Cas looked down at her, his eyebrows furrowing as he nodded, and she took his hand, leading him down the hall and away from the bickering brothers.

"Are you serious, Cas?" Amriel hissed as soon as the door to their room slammed shut behind her. "Your grace is burning out and you didn't think it was important to tell me?"

She was beyond furious, Castiel could see her shoulders tense and her face turning red as she worked herself into a rage.

He moved farther into the room to distance himself, but she merely followed him until he finally stopped and faced her.

"Amriel, I wanted to tell you but-" he was cut off as she slapped him across the face, his head turning from the sheer force she had used.

"Don't lie to me," she yelled, the lights flickering as she seethed. "I will not be lied to, Castiel. Especially when it comes to you."

The blonde turned on her heel and rushed to the door, her hand hovering over the doorknob and she hesitated- was she really going to walk out on him?

"Elle..." he said quietly, and she tried to ignore his use of the nickname. "Please, don't leave me..."

"How much longer do you have until it burns out?"

He walked up to her, backing her against the door as he leaned down, looking her in the eyes as he said, "Not long… Maybe enough time to take out Metatron, but I'm not sure."

Amriel grabbed the lapels of his trench coat and tried to shake him, but he stood firm and set his hands on her arms. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, looking up at him as she tried to hold back tears.

"What will I do without you?" she asked, her voice cracking as she spoke.

Whatever Cas was going to say next completely left his mind as he was hit by the realization that he could possibly die. He faltered, suddenly feeling like he couldn't stand and he leaned into Amriel, pressing her against the door.

Amriel sighed as his head fell to rest on her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around him, mumbling that they would find a way to keep him from dying.

"How are we going to take on Metatron on our own?" he asked, and Amriel closed her eyes at the feeling of his warm breath tickling her neck.

"As long as we stick together, we can do it."

She felt him take a deep breath, but before he said anything, she heard Sam yelling something from down the hall. Pushing Cas back, she whirled around and opened the door, sprinting down the hall with Castiel following behind.

Gadreel was standing there, telling the Winchesters that he wasn't there to fight. When he saw Cas appear behind Amriel, he told him that he had thought about what they had discussed, and that something needed to be done about Metatron.

"And why should we trust you?" Sam asked, eyeing the angel wearily.

"Because I can give him to you. I know where Metatron is. I know everything. I know the bombers," Gadreel told them. "They were his agents, not yours. You don't trust me, fine. I understand I've made mistakes, but haven't you? Haven't we all? At least give me a chance."

Amriel was willing to accept his help, and she watched Dean and Sam exchange a look. Dean stepped forward and extended his hand to shake Gadreel's, and as soon as he grasped it, Dean pulled the First Blade out of his jacket, slashing Gadreel across the chest. Amriel saw a shimmer of grace, and she flew forward, catching Gadreel as he fell to the ground while Sam and Cas leapt at Dean to hold him back.

"What the fuck, Dean!" Sam yelled at his brother, holding him down as he watched Gadreel's grace seeping out of his chest.

Dean somehow got out of Sam's grasp, and Cas watched the two brothers stare each other down. He saw Amriel standing over Gadreel, her hands pressed to his chest in an attempt to stop his grace from escaping.

Sam told him to drop the blade, and they went back and forth, neither of them budging until Cas tackled Dean to try and get the blade from his hand. They subdued him after a struggle, and took him to the room they had kept Crowley in while Amriel stayed with Gadreel.

"Something is wrong with you, Dean. And until we figure that out, this is where you have to stay," Sam told him."

"And you two are gonna do what? Take on Metatron yourselves? That's smart. Oh, no, wait. No, you," he motioned to Cas, "You lost your angel army. And you," he motioned to Sam next, "Now you're trying to lock up the one guy that has a shot at killing the son of a bitch! Hell of a plan, fellas!"

Sam and Cas turned and pushed the doors shut, locking the doors to the dungeon, ignoring Dean as he called out to them.

In the library of the bunker, Sam put the First Blade into a box on the table.

"Sam," Cas started, frowning as the Winchester turned to face him

"Yeah?"

"Dean… wasn't wrong. Our followers have abandoned us." As much as it pained him to admit out loud, it was true.

"Yeah, and Gadreel says he can help us. From where I sit, that's more than an even trade."

Cas went into the main room to look for Gadreel and Amriel, and saw nothing but a trail of blood. They followed it outside of the bunker and found Gadreel standing with Amriel slumped against him, her eyes closed and her breathing slow.

"Elle?" Castiel said suddenly, rushing to the two and taking her into his arms, his fingers going to her neck to find a pulse. It was normal, he noticed, and he tilted her head from side to side to try and find what was wrong with her.

Then he looked to Gadreel and saw that he had been healed—

Before Gadreel could explain what had happened, he heard a familiar voice come on over angel radio.

 _"I'd like to take a moment to welcome you all back. I want you to know how moved I am that you've accepted me as your new God,"_  Metatron said.  _"My heart, as they say, is full, which is why I want to share some wonderful news with you. I'm going on a short trip. Heaven's door will be temporarily closed pending my return, but rest assured all will be explained. And it will be… glorious."_

"Did you hear him?" Gadreel asked, and Cas nodded, moving his gaze back to the unconscious Amriel.

"Metatron. Where is he going? What does he want?"

"I'm afraid he wants humanity," Gadreel answered.

Cas picked Amriel up, and they headed back into the bunker, where they found the box that had been holding the First Blade was empty.

"What's that smell?" Gadreel asked, and Sam frowned, saying that it was sulfur.

Sam ran down to the dungeon to see if Dean was gone while Cas went down the hallway to his room and set Amriel on the bed. He knew that she had drained herself to heal Gadreel— the cut must've been bad if she lost consciousness because of it. Cas sat on the edge of the bed and moved her hair out of her face, admiring how strong she was for putting herself at risk so she could help Gadreel.

"You're far too selfless for your own good," he muttered quietly, furrowing his eyebrows when she started to move.

The last thing Amriel remembered was running outside, chasing after Gadreel and finally catching up to him.

"What happened?" she asked, sitting up and noticing how Cas moved closer to her, taking her hand in both of his.

"You healed Gadreel… It must've been a very deep cut, or he must've tried to fight you off, because you passed out," he told her before taking a deep breath. "Do you think you're okay to go out there, or would you like to stay here?"

Amriel leaned her forehead against his shoulder, heaving a sigh, "I'm fine. Just a little tired, but I'm okay.."

"Come on, then, let's get back to Sam and Gadreel." Cas squeezed her hand and helping her up off of the bed. He wrapped an arm around her waist and together they walked down the hall, following the sounds of Sam's voice.

The Winchester was on the phone, leaving Dean a voicemail asking him to call him back.

"He must've summoned Crowley," Sam said once he had hung up his phone. "He and Crowley have been bromancing over the Blade ever since Dean got the mark…"

"The mark?" Gadreel cut in, and Amriel noticed that he was careful to avoid making eye contact with her as he spoke.

"The Mark of Cain," Cas clarified.

"So, that's what Dean cut me with — the First Blade. In a way, that could be helpful," the angel mused.

"What?" Sam asked, and Gadreel went on to explain that while Metatron was more powerful, their best chance might be Dean having the First Blade.

Sam wasn't having it whatsoever, but Cas told him to hear Gadreel out.

"I believe Metatron has found a way to tap into the Angel tablet, harnessing its power to give him powers equivalent to —"

"God, right?" Sam interrupted. "I mean, that's what this fight is about, isn't it? Metatron wants to be God."

When Gadreel nodded, Sam kept going, "Great. That basically makes him unstoppable."

"Not if we can break the connection between Metatron and the tablet," Cas started, and Amriel realized where he was going with it.

"That would make him a regular, everyday angel. Where's the tablet?" She finished, and finally Gadreel looked at her as he said that it was in Metatron's office in Heaven.

"I can get us to the door," Gadreel told them, and Amriel felt her heart begin to race at the mere thought of returning to Heaven.

"And then what? I mean, why would they let you in? If Metatron's number two shows up with Heaven's most wanted," Sam said as he motioned to Cas, "the gig is up."

"Sam, we have to try," Castiel told him, looking down at Amriel and asking if she was okay with this.

She froze, unable to form a response. Staring at the ground, she shook her head slightly. Cas shouldn't risk himself to potentially get the tablet.

"Elle?" Cas asked, setting a hand on her shoulder, and she finally looked at him.

"You can't go alone," she said quietly. "I can't let you do that…"

"It'll look suspicious if I bring the both of you. It would be more believable that I was only able to capture Castiel," Gadreel told her.

"Then I'll do it. Metatron has it out for Cas," Amriel tried, staring up at him as he shook his head.

"That's what we're banking on," he said in a reassuring tone.

"Fine. But, I'm not on board with this plan, just so you know," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and listening intently as they started to plan.

* * *

Amriel knocked on a worn looking door in a grungy apartment in a sketchy part of New York City. Cas had told her to take a trip while he and Gadreel were off on their attempt to get into Heaven.

So, here she was, albeit somewhat unwillingly. It was better than sitting around and waiting for Cas to come back.

The door opened and Amriel focused her attention on the redhead that was suddenly before her.

"Amy?" Marissa asked, her eyes widening, moving to fill the space between the door and its frame.

"Hey, Marissa… I'm sorry for dropping by unannounced, but I was in the area and I really wanted to see my best friend," the blonde smiled, unsure as to why Marissa seemed so uneasy.

"Look… Now's not really a good time," Marissa told her, running a hand through her messy hair.

Amriel took a moment to look her friend over. She was skinnier than she remembered, pale, and gaunt. The angel peered past her and into the apartment, and from what she could see it was a mess.

"Are you okay?" Amriel asked, "What's going on?"

"Y-you better come in," Marissa said as she stepped aside and opened the door wide enough for her to step through.

It was a disaster in the tiny studio apartment. There was a twin sized bed pushed up against one wall, a rickety dining room table for two, and a ratty looking couch. Clothes scattered the floor, and dirty dishes filled the sink and were piled high on the counter.

Marissa told Amriel to have a seat on the couch while she made them coffee before asking her about what she had been up to since they last spoke, and so the angel had to come up with something off the top of her head.

"Oh… Steve's mother wasn't doing so well, so we stayed with her for a while to help her around the house," Amriel lied smoothly, surprising herself in the process. "I cleaned and made sure all of her household things were taken care of while Steve dealt with her medical stuff."

"So, she's doing better then I assume? Since you're here and all," Marissa said, bringing over two mugs and setting them on the coffee table. While Amriel blew on hers to cool off, Marissa began stirring a packet of sugar into her mug.

"Yes, well enough to be on her own… A nurse visits her once a week now, more if necessary," the blonde continued to lie. "Steve had to go over payments and insurance, so I thought it'd be nice to come see you. I've been meaning to for months."

Marissa narrowed her gaze slightly, and Amriel could see the dark circles beneath her eyes, showing just how tired she was. The girl nodded, accepting what Amriel had told her and moving on to the little packets of creamer now, opening one up and dumping it into her drink.

"What have you been up to, now that you're in New York?" Amriel asked, wondering just what her friend was doing in such a large city. "How have you acclimated?"

"It's fine," Marissa answered with a shrug. "Nothing to report, really. Just school and stuff. I work nights so I can take classes and do homework during the day."

"Have you designed anything?" the blonde prodded, nodding to the kitchen table where a sewing machine sat and a mass of fabric laid over the chair.

"Yeah, a few things here and there for some projects. It's not really what I thought fashion school was going to be like, though. I thought we'd be designing all the time. There's a lot of  _theory_  and stuff," Marissa sighed. "And business classes. I didn't sign up to do math."

"Do you mind if I take a look?" Amriel asked, but she was up and off of the couch before Marissa could even answer. She walked over to the small table and peered down, noticing that it was covered in sketchpads, colored pencils, pens, fabric scraps, buttons, and curiously, a small scale and plastic baggie filled with a white substance.

Amriel raised an eyebrow, wondering what the powder was and how it pertained to fashion. She quickly thought back to a television series she had watched about drugs on a documentary channel, and she realized that it was something along those lines.

"I have a lot of work to do. Finals are coming up and I haven't slept much," Marissa said with a yawn, and Amriel felt like her friend was trying to get her to take her leave.

"So, how does this incorporate in your designs?" Amriel asked in a blunt manner, annoyed with the girl she had grown to see as a sister. "You move to New York to better yourself and your life, and you're wasting it away with.. what is it?"

"Cocaine," Marissa answered quietly.

"So you're squandering your magnificent opportunity with cocaine! I've seen shows about what it does to people-"

"Oh? Who are you to judge when you were a pill junkie!"

Amriel's mouth dropped, unsure of how she knew or what to say in response.

"Yeah, it was pretty obvious you were fucked up for like the first two months I knew you, Amy. So you have no room to judge me!" Marissa seethed, getting up and grabbing the bag off of the table, stuffing it into her back pocket.

Nodding in agreement, Amriel knew she had a point.

"You're right, Marissa. I shouldn't judge you. But I only want you to live to your full potential.." Amriel glanced around, frowning. "Maybe I shouldn't have come here. This was a mistake…"

Amriel took a deep breath and shook her head.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your studies. Live your life to the fullest, however you wish—"

"No, you can't just pop up every once in a while and then fall off the face of the Earth! I've needed you, but you're nowhere to be found," Marissa yelled, causing Amriel to flinch slightly.

Was that how her friend had felt since she left Rexford?

"I- Steve and I had to leave, we've been busy…"

"Oh I'm sure. Where is your boyfriend really? Usually you guys are attached at the fucking hip, so it must be somewhere important if you're apart," Marissa hissed bitterly.

"He's with his mother, like I told you. But you wouldn't understand what we've been dealing with- the things we've gone through," Amriel tried to explain without really letting on too much. There was no way she could tell Marissa that she was an angel.

"Yeah? You think I can't tell that you're lying? Please, tell me all about what you and perfect Steve have  _really_  been up to while I've been here, scraping by with my shitty job and barely staying awake in classes," the redhead was seething, and Amriel tilted her head in confusion.

"I thought you liked living in New York… Every time we spoke on the phone-"

"I was  _lying_ , Amy. I didn't want to worry you when you were off doing whatever it is that you've been doing. And honestly, I don't care what you and Steve have been up to. Go back to wherever it is you came from."

Not knowing what else to do, Amriel shrugged and threw her hands up, signaling that she was done.

"If that's what you want, fine. But just so you know, friends don't lie to each other, so you've been a pretty terrible friend too. If you ever decide that you need help, just call me," she said over her shoulder as she left the apartment, not looking back.

Wandering around the city, Amriel ended up at Central Park, where she sat on a bench and started people watching, trying not to think about the strange argument she had just had with her supposed friend.

She thought their visit had been going well. Was that something that happened in normal friendships? If she had been a human that knew how to interact properly, would she have noticed that something was going on with Marissa?

She had been sitting for hours in silence, replaying that had been said and trying to figure out what she could've done differently when all of a sudden she heard Castiel's voice in her mind, broadcasting on angel radio.

 _"You'll never get away with this,"_  Cas said, and she assumed he was talking to Metatron.

 _"Get away with what? You told a silly story to a group of less-than-believers. I'll clean up your mess in an hour."_  Metatron's grating voice filled her head and Amriel groaned internally.

 _"You give our brothers and sisters far too little credit. They will soon learn that you've been playing them,"_  Cas replied, and Amriel could tell that he was merely biding his time.

 _"You know, while you could never quite pull it together, Castiel, while you're sitting here with your Grace slowly burning away and your reputation long extinguished? No curiosity. You didn't read enough. You never learned how to tell a good story,"_  Metatron scolded, making Amriel frown.

 _"But you did,"_  Cas finally said, and Amriel knew that he had just revealed his true intentions to Metatron.

Her phone rang from her jacket pocket, and Amriel saw Sam's name flashing on the screen. She frowned, accepting the call and holding her device up to her ear.

"Sam?"

 _"A-Amriel, I need you to come to the bunker,"_  he stammered,  _"It's Dean.. Metatron stabbed him with an angel blade. He- he's dead."_

Amriel felt her heart stop. Her stomach lurched and she thought she was going to throw up.

"I'm in New York. I'll take a bus and get there as soon as I can-"

 _"Use the emergency credit card I gave you. Buy a plane ticket. Get here_  now _, please,"_  Sam begged, and Amriel nodded even though he couldn't see her.

She got up and started walking to the edge of the park so she could get her bearings and try and find the airport.

"Okay… I'll let you know when I'm on my way. Sam, we'll fix this, I promise you." She could hear him take a shaky breath, like he had been crying not too long ago, and she knew that he must've been. The bond he shared with his brother was like nothing she had ever seen, and it hurt her to know that her charge was going through so much pain.

_"I'm trying to summon Crowley, but it isn't working. I just… I need to do something. I need to get him back."_

"I know, Sam," Amriel was walking through throngs of people, trying to get to the street, where she hailed a taxi. "As soon as I get there, we'll figure something out. I'll call Cas once I'm off the phone with you and we'll go from there, okay? You're not alone in this."

She heard Sam heave a sigh, so she told him that she'd see him soon. They hung up, and Amriel quickly called Cas, hoping that cell phones worked in Heaven if he was still there.

 _"Elle? Did you hear everything over angel radio?"_  he asked immediately, and Amriel was relieved to hear his voice.

"I did. That's not why I'm calling, though. Sam just called me… Dean's dead. I'm on my way to the airport right now to fly back from New York—"

 _"Dean is dead?"_  he asked, and Amriel frowned at the devastated tone in his voice.

"Sam said Metatron stabbed him with an angel blade. He must've done it before you acted on your plan. If you're done with your business in Heaven, could you head back toward the bunker too? Sam's gonna need all the help he can get." Amriel paid the driver when they arrived at the airport, and she stood outside the terminal.

 _"Yes. Metatron is imprisoned here, so I'll take my leave soon and get on the road. I shouldn't be more than a six or seven hour drive, I believe,"_  he answered.  _"Elle, I know you're going to want to help Sam in any way possible, but we might not be able to save Dean this time. Just keep that in mind…"_

"I know, Cas. But we still have to try. Look, I'm at the airport. I'm gonna see if they can get me on the next flight out of here to the closest airport to Lebanon. I did a Google search and apparently that's Kearney, Nebraska."

 _"All right. Travel safely, and I'll see you back at the bunker. I love you, Amriel,"_  Cas said in a confident voice that sent tingles down her spine.

"I love you too, Cas. Drive safe."

She hung up the phone and stuffed it into her jacket pocket, heading into the airport. Amriel approached the desk of one of the airlines and smiled politely at the woman behind the counter.

"I need a ticket for the next flight out to Kearney, please."


	32. Rogues

Four hours later, Amriel walked into the bunker and down the stairs, looking around for Sam.

She was about to call out his name when he appeared from the kitchen, and in a matter of seconds he was across the room and pulled her into a hug. Sam buried his face in her hair, holding onto her so tight it was almost painful.

"He's gone," Sam mumbled against the top of her head, "I think he's possessed or something. We have to get him back."

"We will," Amriel said, her words muffled by his chest. She pushed him back a little bit, just so she could look up at him as she spoke. "I promise I will do everything in my power to get him back, Sam."

She stared up at him, watching a look she couldn't quite identify cross his face. The next thing she knew, he had leaned down and his lips were pressed against hers. Amriel froze as one of his large hands cupped her face and the other went to her waist, and she was unsure of what to do. She had only ever kissed Cas, and she was pretty sure this wasn't right. When she felt his tongue swipe against her bottom lip, Amriel gasped and pushed him away harder than she had intended to, sending him a few feet backwards.

"Don't do that again," she told him firmly, watching his brows furrow as an apologetic look crossed his face.

"I'm so sorry.. I don't know what came over me," he said quickly, apologizing three more times, telling her that he hadn't meant to do it. "You've just been here for me no matter what, and I- yeah, I don't know."

"It's okay.. Well, it's not okay, but I accept your apology. You're going through a lot and don't know how to handle it," Amriel said as she ran a hand through her hair. "Just.. sit down and tell me what's been going on."

For two hours, Sam told her everything that had happened since the last time he had seen her. It had been heart wrenching to hear Sam's retelling of how Metatron murdered his brother, and Amriel frowned, trying to figure out what could've happened after Dean had died to cause him to disappear.

The door to the bunker opened and she heard the familiar footfalls of Castiel coming down the stairs and into the war room.

Amriel rose from her chair and crossed the room, throwing herself into his arms and hugging him tightly. She buried her face in his neck, breathing him in and smiling when she felt him squeeze her back. It was like coming home, she thought to herself, realizing that she had truly missed him more than she had imagined possible.

Sam cleared his throat awkwardly, and Amriel pulled away from Cas, turning to send him a glare.

"Hello, Sam," Cas greeted the Winchester, and Amriel felt his hand trail down her arm until their fingers touched. She shot him a small smile as their fingers laced together, silently letting him know she was glad he was there.

"Cas," Sam nodded in response. "I'm glad you're here. Look, I haven't slept in two days. Amriel, will you fill him in on what I told you? I'm gonna try and catch an hour or two so I can get to work looking for Dean."

"Of course. We'll get started in the meantime. Get some sleep," she told him, watching him run a hand through his hair and blink a few times, before heading out of the war room towards his bedroom.

Amriel watched him leave, shaking her head and sighing. She turned to face Cas, smiling at his handsome face as she took in his features. He seemed tired, though, and she wondered what he had been through up in Heaven.

She pulled him to the kitchen, where Amriel found beer in the fridge and took out two, opening them both and handing one to Cas.

"Before we talk about what happened to Dean, and what happened while you were in Heaven, I need to tell you something," Amriel said, leaning against the counter. "Earlier, when I got here… I was telling Sam that we'd find Dean and he—" She paused, taking a quick breath as she held onto her beer. "He kissed me. I didn't kiss him back, I just stood there, then I pushed him away."

"Sam  _kissed_  you?" Cas asked, staring down at Amriel with a look on his face that quickly went from confusion to betrayal. "Why would he do that?"

"I have no idea, Castiel. I promise, I don't know why he did it." Amriel furrowed her brows as she spoke. "It wasn't something I enjoyed. It was  _weird_."

She watched him tense, his face pinching uncomfortably and Amriel wondered what he was thinking.

"A-are you mad?" she finally asked, unsure of what to say.

"Not at you, Elle. I'm upset with Sam… He had no right to kiss you," he paused, shooting her a possessive look, "You're mine."

"Is this what characters in movies are talking about when they say men are jealous creatures?" Amriel asked him, crossing her arms over her chest as she spoke.

"I'm not sure. I've only felt this way when I saw those strange men talking to you at the bar—"

"And you know that you have nothing to worry about," she cut him off, "I only have eyes for you, Cas."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean other people don't have eyes for  _you_ ," he explained, setting his hands on her hips and pulling her closer. "I'll talk to Sam later. But first, we have some catching up to do."

He leaned down and pressed a long kiss to her lips, letting her know just how much he had missed her, and Amriel grasped the lapels of his trench coat, tugging so she could kiss him back with just as much fervor.

In one swift movement, Cas picked the blonde up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, allowing him to carry her to their room as she kissed and bit at his neck, tangling her fingers in her hair and reveling in its silky softness.

* * *

Castiel left the room he was sharing with Amriel while she was in the shower and made his way to the kitchen where he found Sam making a pot of coffee.

He stood in the doorway, his hand stuffed into his coat pockets as he watched the Winchester open a cabinet and pull out a mug, setting it on the counter and heaving a sigh.

Cas had been up all night thinking about how Amriel had told him that Sam kissed her. It bothered him to no end that his friend had gone behind his back like that.

Still watching Sam, Cas contemplated his next move. He needed to do something.

"Good morning, Sam," he finally said, taking his hands out of his pockets and crossing his arms over his chest.

Sam turned around and shot him a smile, "Oh, hey Cas. How'd you sleep? Do you even sleep now that you're an angel again?"

"Not much," Castiel answered, his jaw clenching as he spoke. How was Sam so nonchalant right now? "How were things with Amriel last night? I assume she filled you in on what we've been dealing with in regards to Metatron?"

"Oh, yeah, it was fine," Sam shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee before setting it back down and leaning against the counter. "She told me all about how you tricked him into giving himself up. You did a pretty good job."

"Was that all you two discussed?" Cas couldn't ask him outright. He didn't even want to say the words, so he was going to lead Sam into confessing himself.

"Well, I told her about Dean and what I think has happened to him," the Winchester said with a shrug, "We were going through ideas to get him back when you got here."

Castiel watched Sam push himself away from the counter and walk towards him, obviously trying to leave the kitchen, but Cas straightened his posture and stared him down.

"Um, could you move, Cas? I need to get started trying to find Dean," Sam said as he looked at the angel in confusion.

"I know, Sam. I know that you kissed Amriel," he finally said, and he saw Sam tense up immediately. "Did you think she wouldn't tell me?"

"I- I wasn't sure. Look, Cas, it didn't mean anything," Sam began to stumble over his words as he explained himself. "I told her last night.. It was just a heat of the moment thing. I wasn't in control of what I was feeling and I don't know. It just happened. I apologized—"

In a split second, Castiel had grabbed Sam's arm and twisted it behind him, throwing him face-first into the wall beside the door frame and pinning him there with his shoulder.

"I understand that you're her charge," Cas said in a low voice. He had heard the shower stop running so he had to be quick. "But if you  _ever_  do something like that again, I won't think twice before I break your arm."

He let go and moved over to the coffee pot, pouring a cup for Amriel and adding in cream and sugar to her liking as he heard her footsteps down the hall.

Amriel entered the kitchen just as Sam was walking out, and she noticed a strained look on his face as he rolled his shoulder and avoided eye contact as he passed her.

"Morning, Sam," she smiled, but all she got was a quick nod and a quiet  _g'morning_  in return.

"What's his deal?" Amriel asked Cas when he handed her the mug and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I have no idea. Perhaps he woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Cas murmured against her hair before taking her hand and leading her out of the kitchen and to the library.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Amriel said once she was seated on top of the table. "We have to find Dean."

She watched Cas run a hand through his hair while he paced, heaving a sigh as he looked deep in thought. Amriel could tell that he was tense, but she wasn't sure why. Suddenly she found herself missing his carefree smile from when he was a human.

"Maybe we should hit the road," Cas finally suggested. "We can't do much from the bunker, and we could follow any leads Sam might find that are worthwhile."

Amriel shrugged, "I guess. It'll be nice to take a road trip and spend time with you."

A small smile crossed Castiel's lips and the blonde felt herself smile a bit as well, glad that he liked the idea too.

"We should leave soon, though," he told her. "The longer we're here, the more distance Dean gains."

Nodding in agreement, Amriel rose from the table and said that she would go tell Sam.

Cas stopped his movements, turning to look at her with a stern gaze.

"I will tell Sam. Why don't you go pack your things? I won't take long," he told her, leaving the room before she could reply.

Amriel frowned, wondering where this strange behavior between Cas and Sam had come from. Shaking her head, she also left the library to go and gather her belongings.

* * *

The gold Lincoln Continental sped down the highway, Amriel at the wheel with the windows down, stray hair from her ponytail blowing in the wind as she sang along to a Top 40 hit that had been on the radio four times in the past two hours.

She glanced to her right, frowning slightly at the sight of Castiel, whose hair was slick with sweat and plastered to his forehead despite the high wind. His health had been declining since they left the bunker a month ago, and Amriel knew his stolen grace was deteriorating. Cas wouldn't acknowledge it, though. Every time she asked if he was okay, he would nod quickly and change the subject.

Amriel reached down into the bag of sour gummy worms that sat in between her legs, grabbing a few and popping them into her mouth as she turned her focus back to the road.

They had been crossing the country chasing leads to try and find Dean, but so far, they were always one step behind the elusive Winchester. While Amriel was trying to make the best of it, she could tell that Cas was frustrated.

"Hey Cas," Amriel says as she wipes her sugar covered fingers on her bare leg, "How are you feeling? You look a little clammy."

"Not great," he answered, his voice hoarse. "How far are we from the motel?"

"I'd say a half hour, forty five minutes tops. You gonna be okay for that long?" she glances over again and takes his hand, squeezing gently. "I can stop if you need me to."

He shook his head minutely, just enough that she noticed, "I'll be okay. I'm just going to close my eyes and rest for the rest of the way."

Amriel turned her attention back to the road, noticing that he still kept a hold of her hand as he leaned his head against the window. He was growing weaker by the day, and she was doing all she could to try and hunt down his grace with what little resources she had. So far, she hadn't found much, but she was going to keep searching.

They got to the motel twenty minutes later, thanks to Amriel ignoring the posted speed limits. She led Cas into their room and started the shower, carefully undoing his tie and removing his clothes before helping him in. She disrobed as well and followed soon after, washing his hair and massaging his shoulders, smiling softly at the little sighs he made every so often.

"I love you, Cas," she mumbled quietly as she pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade. "Why don't we take a few days to rest? We've been chasing Dean non-stop since we left the bunker."

Castiel turned quickly, almost knocking her off balance, but he quickly steadied her. His eyes were wide and a frown was on his face.

"We can't stop, Elle. We have to find him…"

"Yes, but your health is also important. You can't keep going on like this… Your grace will burn out faster if you do," she told him. "I won't lose you."

Amriel stared up at him with a look that dared him to argue with her, but she was surprised when he heaved a sigh and nodded.

"You're right. I'm going to lay down," he finally said, and Amriel felt relief wash over her.

"Good. There's a robe on the back of the door for you."

After Cas exited the shower, Amriel washed her hair and finished up, getting out and wrapping herself up in a robe as well.

When she entered the room, she found Cas on the phone with Sam, coughing the entire time. Amriel frowned, wondering what she could do to help.

"I miss him," Cas said into the receiver, and she assumed he was talking about Dean. Who else would they be discussing?

She couldn't hear what Sam said in response, but the two continued to talk for a few more moments before Cas hung up the phone and tossed it back onto the bedside table.

"Did he have any news?" she asked, sitting beside him on the edge of the bed, running her fingertips along his chest in a soothing pattern.

"I think he had a lead, but didn't want to bother me after hearing how awful I sound," Cas sighed before he coughed again.

"You  _do_  sound horrible," Amriel agreed, "Is there anything I can get for you? Tea?"

Cas shook his head, and she bit her lip as she thought for a few seconds about what could help him feel better.

"How about we lay in bed all day, watch movies, and cuddle?" she proposed, moving her fingers from his chest to rake through his dark hair, tugging a little bit to get through the tangles.

"That sounds good to me," he smiled, reaching up and pulling her against him, making her laugh as he tickled her sides.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door, and Amriel jumped up, whirling around to face the door, trying to figure out who was there. She heard Cas getting up, and she turned, telling him to stay put.

"Just a second," she called as she grabbed her angel blade before moving to answer the door.

Amriel frowned when she saw Hannah staring back at her.

"Amriel…"

She saw the brunette glance at her loosely tied bathrobe before looking over her shoulder and seeing Cas sitting on the bed in his own robe.

"Hannah," she greeted in response, pulling her robe a little tighter as she spoke. "Would you like to come in?"

Amriel had Hannah wait in the bathroom while she and Cas dressed, then they all sat as Hannah filled them in on the state of Heaven and what had been going on since Metatron had been contained.

"So there's no leader?" Castiel asked. "You're governing yourselves?"

"Mostly," Hannah nodded. "There's a lot of meeting on rebuilding and reorganization.. Lots of reconciliation."

"Where's Metatron?" Amriel asked, wanting to make sure he was secure.

"Still in jail. His door has been made permanent. I would've thought we'd see you two sooner," Hannah said, and Amriel saw that her gaze was solely on Cas.

"We would've come sooner, but-" Cas started, but Hannah cut him off, saying that she was glad they didn't, and that she needed their help.

"Most of the angels who fell during the Fall have returned to Heaven, but a few have not. Some out-and-out refuse. Rogues," Hannah told them. "Two of them have killed one of our own for only attempting to bring them back home."

"Who were they?" Amriel asked.

"Daniel and Adina," Hannah said quickly. "They must be found. They must be brought home, and they must be punished for the sake of all. Will you two help me?"

Amriel began to shake her head, ready to tell her no, but Cas had already said yes. She turned to look at him, narrowing her gaze.

"Hannah, could you excuse us for a moment?" Amriel asked, motioning for the angel to wait outside.

"Of course," the brunette nodded and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

As soon as she was gone, Amriel stood up and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why are we helping her? She  _abandoned_  us! Why should we be hunting these angels down? If they don't want to return to Heaven, they shouldn't have to."

"I'm just trying to do what's right, Elle. If Daniel and Adina killed another angel, they should face a punishment—"

"So, should you be punished for stealing Theo's grace? Should you be punished for the angels you killed in the Civil War? Should  _I_  be punished?" Amriel said as she paced, unable to look at Cas as she spoke.

"Amriel… You know neither of us deserve to be punished. That's not what I meant," Castiel shook his head as he heaved a sigh, staring up at her. "You don't have to come if you don't want to. I'm more than able to help Hannah alone."

The thought of Cas alone with Hannah made her blood run cold, and Amriel stopped her pacing. She didn't like the way the brunette looked at him, not one bit.

"Fine. I'll come and help," she gave in. "But, I'm not happy about it."

* * *

Castiel drove with Amriel in the passenger seat and Hannah in the back, and after an hour or two they had to pull over to the side of the highway because Hannah felt sick.

"I didn't know angels could get car sick," Amriel mused, a small smirk on her face as she leaned against the car, her hands balled into fists and shoved in her olive green jacket's pockets.

"I just need a moment," Hannah mumbled, taking deep breaths.

"It's my fault," Cas admitted from beside Amriel. "I'll take the curves faster."

"And you, Castiel? You're feeling well?" the brunette asked, causing Amriel to turn and look at him.

"Oh yes, like a million dollars," he answered, and Amriel rolled her eyes.

"That's not true," Hannah told him.

"It's my truth," Cas replied, trying to get her to stop talking about it.

"When you left Heaven, your borrowed grace was failing. By the looks of you, you've only gotten worse.."

"I'm fine," he assured her, and Amriel wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Hannah or himself.

"You're dying, Castiel. You need more grace," Hannah then turned her attention from Cas to Amriel. "Can't you convince him he's going to die if he doesn't get more grace?"

"It's not my decision. Do you think I  _like_  seeing him like this? I would give him my own grace if that's what it took to keep him alive, but I know he'd never take it," Amriel told her, trying to keep her emotions in check but she felt herself tearing up, even though she was avoiding looking at Cas. "I love him, Hannah. I can't expect you to understand that."

The three angels were silent, and Hannah looked between the couple before nodding her head once.

"I'm feeling better now," she said quietly, and the three got back into the car.

It wasn't long before they arrived at a camping site and found Daniel fishing in a river. Amriel merely watched as Cas approached the angel and asked what he was fishing for.

They spoke briefly about trout and the fact that the ones that really want to live put up a fight, much like the angels that didn't want to return to Heaven, and Hannah chimed in, saying that their conversation was nonsense. Amriel thought it was only fitting, though, since she herself didn't really want to leave Earth.

"Because they don't teach you about free will in Heaven? Perhaps they should," Daniel mused, "Then you would understand why it's worth fighting for."

Hannah drew her blade, and Amriel felt herself tense up, her hand going towards her own tucked away in the back of her shorts.

"He's taunting us," the brunette said, and Cas shook his head.

"And then what? We kill him?" he asked. "There's time to convince him to do the right thing. Besides, Hannah, we still don't know where the other one is— the woman."

"You'll have to stay for sunset. Night time around here is a revelation," Daniel told them, and Amriel looked to Cas, nodding to let him know that she was agreeing with him.

As the sun began to set, Amriel stood beside Cas, her hand in his, as they watched the light dying in the distance. It was beautiful, she had to admit. Most things on Earth that involved nature  _were_  beautiful.

"I don't want to keep doing this, Castiel," she finally said after long minutes of silence between the pair. "I don't want to be at Hannah's beck and call. She doesn't control us."

"We aren't, though. We're just doing the right thing," he told her, still gazing out into the distance even though she was looking up at him.

"Are you sure about that? Some of these angels might not want to return to Heaven. Would you send me back if Hannah asked you to?"

Cas turned to look at her now, his eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head, "That's totally different, Amriel. I would never make you do something you didn't want to do."

"But why do it to Daniel and Adina then?"

"I don't have an answer, Elle," he said with a frown. "I love you and wouldn't do anything to put you at risk or in harm's way. But, angels have to be punished for their actions. Daniel and Adina killed another angel."

"Okay, then after this we should continue looking for Dean," Amriel told him in a tone that didn't leave any room for argument. She squeezed his hand and leaned up, pressing a kiss to his jaw, and leading him back to where Daniel and Hannah were.

They sat around a campfire until Adina arrived, and Daniel introduced the three to the angel that had just joined them.

"Stow the blade, please," Daniel told Adina, who shook her head.

"When she stows hers," she said as she looked at Hannah.

"Hannah, what are you doing?" Cas asked.

"We'll never get to argue our freedom from a prison cell," Adina said to the brunette, her blade still drawn.

"You should've thought of that before slaughtering one of your own," Hannah answered in a matter-of-fact tone, making Amriel want to roll her eyes.

"No, no. We were talking," Daniel interrupted, "We were getting somewhere!"

"Okay, everybody just—" Castiel tried to interject, but Hannah cut him off.

"You want to be free? Go ahead, be free," Hannah answered, rushing towards Adina and pushing Amriel out of the way in the process. Daniel moved to protect Adina, and Amriel quickly scrambled to find her dropped blade as Cas tried to stop the fight. Daniel cut Hannah and was ready to end her, but Castiel beat him to it, and Amriel watched the bright light flicker out of Daniel as his vessel's body dropped to the forest floor. She didn't even notice that Adina had fled. All she could see was Castiel standing there with a blood-covered angel blade in his right hand, panting hard as he tried to regain his composure.

"We have to get her," Hannah said, getting up and dusting herself off.

"She's gone," Cas shot back, "It's over."

When they return to the car, Hannah tells them that they have to report the incident to Heaven.

"And say what? Things got out of control? Another angel has died," Cas asked from the driver's seat, looking back at her in the rearview mirror.

"He was going to kill me, Castiel," Hannah reminded him.

"They just wanted to be left alone," Amriel mumbled from the passenger seat, not looking at either of them.

"Without rules, there is chaos," Hannah told them. "Out of chaos rise angels like Naomi, Bartholomew… Metatron."

"Well perhaps I've been down here with them for too long. There's seemingly nothing but chaos. But not all bad comes from it," Cas said softly, glancing over to Amriel as he spoke, "Art, hope, love, dreams…"

"But th-those are human things," Hannah muttered from the back seat, glancing between the two angels that were now making eye contact that she had no idea how to read.

"Yes, yes they are," Cas answered.

* * *

Once they were far enough away from the campsite to stop and get themselves cleaned up, Amriel found Cas washing his hands in a sink on the dock. She watched him try to heal the chest wound Daniel had caused, and she saw his grace flicker out quickly.

Frowning, Amriel tried to push down her inner panic at the sight. He was fading faster than she had expected.

"Cas, let me do it," she said, getting closer as she spoke. She held her hand over his chest, focusing her energy and grace on him and smiling once he was fully healed. "There you go. Don't hesitate to ask me next time… Hopefully there isn't a next time, though."

Hannah approached them now, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she looked at the angels that seemed so in sync with one another. Almost like they were two halves of one being.

"You don't have to— you can go. You don't owe us anything," Cas told the brunette, knowing that Amriel was thinking something similar.

"I know," she said, "But I want to stay and help."

A confused look crossed her face when Cas laughed, and she asked if she had said something wrong.

"No, it's just very human," he answered. "It's a compliment."

"Oh…" Hannah muttered, and Castiel's phone began to ring.

"Sam," Cas greeted, and Amriel turned her focus from the angel in front of her to the one beside her, trying to listen in on her charge.

_"You need to get to Beulah, North Dakota… Now."_

"I do?"

Amriel raised an eyebrow, continuing to listen.

_"Yes. Crowley and Dean were there. We got to pick up their trail."_

"Good. Great."

 _"Yeah, um… Not so much,"_  Sam said,  _"Cas… Dean's a demon."_

Amriel felt her heart drop. Dean Winchester was a demon? How was that possible?

"Dean's a demon?" Cas echoed her thoughts, "How?"

 _"The Mark. I-I guess it must've messed him up… I don't know,"_ Sam stammered, and Amriel pictured him running a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots in frustration.

"That is a vast understatement," Castiel told the Winchester.

_"Right. Now, Cas, listen. I know you're not feeling so hot, but this is kind of an 'all hands on deck' situation here, so…"_

"So, Amriel and I will meet you there."


	33. Let's Make A Deal

Castiel was driving with Amriel in the passenger seat and Hannah in the back, despite the fact that Amriel had offered to drive several times to let Cas take a break. He knew that she was uncomfortable driving at night, though, so he had declined, thanking her for being considerate.

The ride had been mostly silent, with just the sounds of the radio filling the car, until Hannah decided to ask Cas if he was sure about going to help Sam.

"If you wanted to stay behind…" Amriel started, narrowing her gaze as she stared out the window, refusing to look at the brunette.

"I didn't," Hannah answered quickly. "I just… I think the Winchesters are a bad influence on Castiel. And on you as well, Amriel."

"Sam and Dean may be a bit rough around the edges, but they're the best men I've ever known. And they're my friends. Sam is one of Amriel's charges," Castiel told her, and Amriel could hear the devotion in his voice. She glanced to her left and saw that his jaw was set, and she could tell he was practically biting his tongue.

Hannah changed the subject to stargazing, and as she continued to talk, Amriel turned her attention to the trees they were passing by, unaware that Cas was slowly falling asleep beside her.

The horn of an oncoming semi-truck drew their attention, and Cas quickly swerved back into the lane to miss it, but couldn't quite get control over the car, and it slid into a ditch off the side of the road.

"Is everyone okay?" Amriel asked, glancing at Hannah before focus on Cas, checking him over for any injuries.

"I'm fine, Elle," he told her, "We should call a tow truck, however."

Amriel pulled out her phone and looked up the closest service station, dialing the number and having one dispatched. It was surprisingly easy, like many human things were.

"They should be here soon," she told them once she had gotten off the phone. "We can wait in the car or we can get out and get some fresh air. I, for one, have been in this confining box of metal for far too long."

She got out of the car and walked around to the driver's side, motioning for Cas to open his door. When he did, she knelt down and gently held his chin with her thumb and index finger, tilting his head from side to side, up and down, inspecting him to see how alert he was.

"Elle, really, is this necessary?" he asked, moving his legs so he was half out of the car now.

"Yes, Castiel, it  _is_  necessary," she answered firmly. "Your health is important, you know."

When she was done with her inspection, she squeezed his chin and tilted his face up so she could kiss him briefly, smiling against his lips before she pulled away. Cas grabbed her hand, stopping her from getting too far. Amriel looked down at him, watching his fingers play with the red twist tie.

"Soon, Cas," she said quietly, unsure if Hannah was listening. "We'll find your grace."

Before she could react, Cas got out of the car and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in her neck and sighing.

"I don't know how much time I have," he breathed, squeezing her tightly as Amriel contemplated his words, unable to respond as the reality of their situation sunk in.

* * *

The tow truck driver turned out to be a kind woman that brought the three angels to her home, seeing as she would have to run into town to get a new set of tires for their car.

"If you want to head inside and watch TV or something, you're more than welcome," the woman told them. "Oh, and there's leftover three-bean surprise in the fridge if you're hungry."

With that, the woman left and the angels walked into the house. Amriel followed Cas into the living room as he shrugged off his trench coat. She took it from him and watched him lie down on the couch.

Amriel vaguely heard Hannah asking what the surprise was about a three bean casserole as she walked into the room, but she was too busy watching Cas fall asleep to reply. She draped the coat over him and sat on the ottoman that was in front of the couch, glancing up at Hannah sadly.

"We have to do something soon or his grace is going to die out, Amriel," Hannah said quietly.

"You think I don't know that?" the blonde hissed. "I've been searching high and low for signs of it, but I haven't found anything. Maybe you should try looking as well."

Hannah didn't reply— she merely nodded and returned to the kitchen, leaving Amriel to watch over Cas as he slept.

Amriel stayed up the entire night, her gaze never straying from Castiel for too long. She watched his chest rise and fall with every deep breath he took, the way his brow would crease before he moved to another position to get more comfortable, and she felt her chest ache. He was struggling and she didn't know how to help him.

As the sun began to rise, a little girl appeared with a bowl of cereal and plopped herself on the end of the couch by Castiel's feet, turning on cartoons as she said good morning to Amriel.

"Good morning to you too," the angel smiled at the little brunette.

"Did you stay up  _all night?_ " she asked, her eyes wide as Amriel nodded.

"I did," Amriel answered.

"I wish I could stay up all night…" the girl said, shoving a spoonful of sugary cereal into her mouth.

"Maybe when you're a grown up," Amriel replied with a small smile, her attention returning to Cas as he began to stir and wake up.

"Hello," the girl said to him, "Did you have a good dream?"

"Well… I, uh, I don't really dream," Cas answered, confused.

"Why? One time, I dreamed that my snot was a rocket, and it shot into space and knocked down the stars to make room for more rockets!"

Amriel suppressed a laugh and Cas smiled as he said, "Well that sounds like some very special snot."

The girl giggled, and the tow truck driver came into the living room with Hannah on her heels.

"All right, you're good to go," the woman told them all, and Amriel got up to thank her and procure payment. "That's a great guy you have there."

A familiar heat filled her cheeks and Amriel glanced back towards Cas, who was still chatting with the girl.

"Thank you… He's very special to me," she said quietly, rifling through her purse for a handful of bills to give to the woman.

"Too bad your other friend is green with envy," the woman told Amriel, her eyes lighting up when she saw the twist tie around her finger. "Ah, ya'll are in engaged?"

Amriel's face reddened more as she nodded.

"Well, he's very good with my daughter, so I'm sure he'll be a great dad when you get around to having some kids of your own," she winked, and Amriel felt her chest tighten, her gaze focusing on Cas as he smiled at the girl.

"Yes, I'm sure he will be… But we're not quite ready for that just yet," Amriel lied. She was an angel. That was  _not_  going to happen.

"Best of luck on your upcoming wedding. You'll be a gorgeous bride. Come on by anytime if you're around!"

Amriel said goodbye to the woman, and the three headed out to the car.

"I think I should drive," Hannah told the them, holding her hand out to Castiel for the keys. "Amriel was awake all night and Castiel, you could still use the rest."

The blonde felt Cas looking at her but she refused to meet his gaze, mumbling that it was a good idea as she got into the passenger seat. She wanted Cas to be able to spread out in the back and sleep, and she was pleased when he did just that.

* * *

"This is not the way to North Dakota," Amriel said after they had been on the road for a few hours.

"I know," Hannah answered, not taking her eyes off the road as she spoke. "We're going to Heaven."

"Wait, what?" Amriel hissed quietly so she wouldn't disturb Cas. "What are you talking about?"

"We're going to Heaven to get the location of Castiel's grace from Metatron. I know you've been looking for it, but Metatron will know its location. We'll make him tell us," Hannah said as she took the exit and eased the car off of the highway, down a road before turning right into a playground.

"I don't think this is wise, Hannah. He won't tell us anything. You know how much he hates Cas…"

"You spoke up against him, back at the headquarters. You can convince him to share the location. Just give it a try." Hannah spared the blonde a glance before turning her gaze back out at the sandbox. "I see how much you love each other. I know how devastated you would be if-"

"Don't, Hannah. I don't even want to think about something happening to him. I don't really want to return to Heaven, but I'll do anything for Cas. Let's go before I change my mind."

Amriel and Hannah got out of the car and approached the sandbox, where a child and woman that had been playing on the monkey bars met them.

"Hello Hannah, Amriel," the woman nodded at them in greeting. "Are you ready?"

The blonde saw Hannah nod in return, and watched as a sigil lit up in the sandbox and the portal revealed itself. Taking a deep breath, Amriel glanced back at the car Cas was still sleeping in the back of, hoping she was doing the right thing as she stepped into the portal.

* * *

Amriel had never been to this part of Heaven, but it was familiar nonetheless. It was sterile and cold, corporate even. She wondered if she would get to visit her favorite space in Heaven. Evan Sanders spent his time reorganizing his vast library on a rainy Saturday morning, and Amriel would watch him for as long as she could, fascinated.

They walked down a long hallway and into a room that held the prison cells, where Metatron sat behind the bars of the middle cell. Amriel felt herself tense as she stared down at the angel who had caused them all to fall to Earth, already annoyed with him even though he hadn't said a word.

"My, my… Hello, you gorgeous creatures," he finally spoke, and Amriel had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Metatron," Hannah greeted sternly.

"I knew you'd come back… Even you, Amriel. I felt something between us when you stood up to me on that video call—"

"Enough. We're here about Castiel," the blonde interrupted him, turning to Hannah and nodding for her to speak.

"After you cast that spell and sealed Heaven, was there any of his grace left?"

"And if there was?" Metatron asked, raising his eyebrows at them.

"Then I want it," Amriel told him in a voice that left no room for argument.

"Well, everybody wants something. Question is, are you willing to pay for it?" He sent them both a smile. "Are you willing to, I dunno, let me out?"

When neither Hannah nor Amriel answered, Metatron huffed, "Oh come on, don't look too shocked. You knew what I'd ask for. And you wouldn't have come here if you weren't willing to pony up."

"It doesn't make it any easier," Hannah mumbled.

"Fair enough. Let's sweeten the pot then, shall we? I've had time to think, and I've decided — screw Earth. You pop this lock, I'll give you Castiel's grace and then scamper off to another planet — another galaxy, even — and you'll never see me again. And in return, you get Cas back at full power — large and in charge," Metatron narrowed his gaze at Amriel and continued, "And that's what you really want, isn't it? For your boyfriend to be at full power so you can fulfill whatever little prophecy God has for you—"

Amriel hadn't even realized that she had moved towards the bars as he was talking, and before she knew it she had grabbed him through the bars, pulling him up against them roughly.

"What do you know about that?  _Tell me_ ," she hissed, pulling him closer against the bars.

"Like I said, I felt something between us. Too bad you and Castiel are endgame. So, do we have a deal?"

Amriel contemplated his offer, but as she was doing that, Cas burst in through the doors, asking what they were doing.

"Ugh, you know perfectly well what she's doing, Ass-tiel," Metatron groaned as Amriel released him.

"Hannah and I talked about it.. We had to, Cas. You're dying!" she told him as they locked eyes.

"She's right, you totally are," Metatron added, and Castiel told him to shut up.

"He said your grace is still out there," Amriel said, "We can find it…"

"He's  _lying_ , Elle. He's a liar!"

"Hey, words hurt," Metatron tried to insert himself into their conversation again, but he was ignored and Hannah reached through the bars and shoved him to sit back down.

"Listen, Amriel, do not make a deal with him. I have seen what — I've made deals born of desperation, and they always end in blood and tears.  _Always._ " Cas told her as he took her hand, trying to get her to see that what she was doing wasn't for the best.

"So I'm just supposed to let you die? Cas…" Amriel felt herself begin to choke up, her eyes welling with tears as she tried to blink them away.

"Yes," he said gently, but also letting her know that he meant it. "It's my life, and my choice. And I don't want this."

"Fine," Amriel pulled her hand out of his and turned on her heel, leaving the room and heading back to the portal so she could return to Earth.

Castiel frowned, turning to Hannah and telling her to follow Amriel. When she was gone, Cas noticed that Metatron watching him carefully.

"What?"

"You're wrong," the scribe told him. "Not about the lying part, I'm a  _terrific_  liar. But there is some of your mojo left. Not a lot… But enough. And it can be yours for the low, low price of—"

"Keep it," Cas cut him off.

"Seriously?" Metatron asked, tilting his head out of curiosity.

"I've made peace with my fate," he answered with a nod.

"Who's the liar now?"

"I enjoy thinking about you locked up in here," Cas motioned to the cell surrounding Metatron, "rotting until the end of time. It's my happy place."

"Yeah? Uh, no. I'll get out of here. This dump won't hold me forever, and when I'm free, here's a sneak preview— everybody dies, starting with your precious Amriel. You know, she's so determined to find that grace of yours. It's almost like she's programmed that way. It really makes you wonder—"

"Don't ever say her name again," Castiel growled. "It'll be the last thing you do."

With that, Cas turned and headed out the door, ignoring Metatron as he shouted "dead man walking" after him.

* * *

When he returned to the car, he was surprised to find Amriel sitting on one of the benches of the playground, her back towards the portal. He couldn't see her face, but he could tell she was upset by her slumped shoulders and uneven breathing.

Hannah approached from his left, a frown on her lips as she stared up at him.

"I wouldn't attempt to talk to her right now if I were you, Castiel," she told him quietly, glancing over to the blonde before returning her gaze to him.

"Why not? What's wrong?" Cas almost took off towards her, but Hannah stopped him.

"She's crying… I tried to console her, but she's upset with your actions."

"Hannah, it's for the best—" he tried to explain, but she cut him off.

"Metatron said something about the two of you and some prophecy by God? That you're  _endgame_? I'm not sure what that means, but what do you think will happen to her if you die?"

Castiel hadn't even thought of that. He had honestly pushed that to the back of his mind, but now that Hannah mentioned it he could clearly remember the paintings and all of Sam's research.

"I- I'm not sure. I have to talk to her, though…" Cas started to move towards Amriel, but Hannah set her hand on his upper arm, stopping him.

"I don't think she wants to talk to anyone right now," she told him.

"We need to get on the road so we can get to North Dakota. Your detour has cost us time, and who knows where Dean is headed next," he answered, not moving his gaze from Amriel, watching as she wiped at her face and got up from the bench.

"Let's go," the blonde said quietly, avoiding eye contact with both angels as she brushed past them.

"Amriel, we need to talk," Cas tried, catching her hand with his and pulling her to a stop. Hannah quickly made her way to the car and got into the back seat, wanting to give the angels their space to talk.

She whirled around, narrowing her gaze at him, "What is there to talk about? You want to  _die_!"

"It's not that I  _want_  this. I just— I don't know what to do. I won't take another angel's grace, and I don't even know where what little remains of mine is," he explained, staring down at her with pleading eyes, trying to get her to understand.

"Then let me help you find it. Don't resign yourself to death because you're uncertain. I will do whatever it takes, even if it comes to making a deal with Metatron," Amriel told him firmly, "He knows something about us that we don't, Cas."

"I won't let you sacrifice yourself for me. I have done horrendous things… I don't deserve anything you've done for me," he said softly, his gaze falling to the ground as he spoke. He felt Amriel's hand leave his, but she moved closer to him and cupped his face with her small hands. He reveled in the warmth she radiated, knowing he would miss it when his stolen grace eventually faded out.

"What angel hasn't done awful things? I've killed angels! I've disobeyed direct orders. I took the vessel of a girl who only wanted guidance and killed her! You aren't the only one who has done things they regret, Castiel," she told him, her gray eyes holding his blue ones the entire time she spoke. "I love you, and I will do anything in my power to keep you with me for eternity."

"Amriel, you need to know when to let go—"

"No!" she shouted at him, letting go of his face and grabbing onto shoulders, "I'm not letting go of you.  _You_  need to fight for yourself! And if you won't do it for yourself, do it for me."

"I'll try, Elle," he finally gave in. "Let's get going, though. We have to get to Dean…"

"Sam wants to cure him with sanctified blood, right? There's no guarantee that'll work," Amriel said as they walked towards the car. She noticed how pale he was, and that his hands were clammy when she held them. "Why did he send us if he knows about your fading grace?"

Cas didn't look at her as he opened the passenger side door, motioning for her to get in. When he got into the driver's seat, Amriel frowned, "He doesn't know, does he?"

"He knows some, but not the full extent."

The blonde frowned again, grabbing her phone and tapping out a message to Sam.

" **Cas's grace is fading fast. Need to find his ASAP."**

Her phone buzzed moments later with a response from the younger Winchester.

" **I'll see what I can dig up."**


	34. Recharge

Hannah had gotten them lost on the way to meet Sam and Dean, and during their delay Amriel noticed that Castiel's health was quickly declining. She was sitting with him in the back seat, holding his hand and tracing patterns on his thigh, trying to figure out what she should do.

"We need to stop avoiding the obvious," Hannah told them, glancing at the couple in the rearview mirror. "We all know how to fix this, both you and the situation."

"I will  _not_  slit some angel's throat and steal a grace. And before you say it, we definitely aren't going begging to Metatron," he said with a sigh.

"What about helping your friend and sending those rogue angels back to Heaven?" Hannah asked, "Your preference to die for your principles, while it's very noble, it is meaningless."

"Then you and Amriel will carry on," Castiel told her simply.

"We're not enough!" Hannah snapped, and Amriel saw her grip tighten on the steering wheel.

"Sometimes enough is whatever you have," he answered as his phone began to ring. "Hello, Sam."

Amriel listened carefully as Sam asked if they were still coming.

"We're a few hours away. Is the treatment working?" Cas asked.

 _"No, not very well. Look, it's not like it was with Crowley… Dean is in pain,"_  Sam paused,  _"I mean, he's in bad pain. It's like he's barely holding on. Cas, I might be killing him."_

"It might be," he told the Winchester bluntly.

_"So, what? Should I stop?"_

"And do what? He's not possessed. Exorcism is out of the question. The ritual of purified blood is the only treatment I know…"

Amriel continued to listen to the two argue, ending with Sam telling him to hurry before he hung up.

"We need to keep going," Castiel said aloud, and Amriel wasn't really sure just who he was talking to.

* * *

The three angels stopped at an old gas station, and while Hannah went to the restroom to freshen up, Amriel watched Cas as he pumped gas. He looked worse than he had only two hours ago, with dark circles under his eyes and a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Cas, do you remember what you told me when we were watching the stars outside of the bunker?" she asked suddenly, playing with the red twist tie around her finger.

"Of course, I remember every word of it," he answered, glancing up and squinting slightly, his vision going fuzzy for a few seconds.

"Then you remember when you told me that you planned to spend eternity with me once you got your grace back," Amriel said quietly. "I didn't think you were one to break promises."

When Cas didn't answer, Amriel shook her head and went into the convenience store to grab some snacks for the road. She looked around for a minute and grabbed a few bags of chips and candy, then made her way to the register where she found an overturned coffee cup on the counter.

Frowning, Amriel peered over the counter and found a man on the floor, his eyes burned out.

"Oh, no…" she whispered, turning around and heading for the doors, watching Cas coming towards them. Then she felt an arm wrap around her waist and a blade press against her neck.

"You're not going anywhere, Amriel," Adina's voice filled her ear as panic shot through her.

Cas walked into the store, and Adina greeted him, "Hey there."

Amriel watched him try to step closer, but Adina tightened her grip and she felt the blade dig a little deeper into her throat, but not enough to break the skin.

"I've been tracking you for days," Adina said. "You  _will_  be punished for what you did."

"Daniel's death… That was unintentional, Adina. I feel you know this," Cas tried to explain.

"Unintentional? You killed him!"

Adina threw Amriel into a shelf behind her and lunged for Castiel, who quickly armed himself with his own angel blade.

"Seriously?" Amriel heard Adina ask as she tried to recover.

Cas swung at her weakly and Adina easily blocked it, punching him in return, the force sending him into a shelf.

"Just kill me," he said tiredly. "But let Amriel go."

"Stop this!" Amriel shouted, now back on her feet, trying to get close to Cas without setting off Adina.

"Stop, kill me, I mean, so many suggestions. I don't know what to do…" Adina laughed. "I know. I'll kill you, Castiel, but very, very slowly so your honeybunch can watch. Sound good?"

Adina kicked him through the glass door and walked through it, grabbing Cas buy the lapel of his coat and punching him again. When it was clear he wasn't able to get up, she turned her attention to Amriel, still in the convenience store, watching carefully, waiting for Adina's next move.

Amriel reached behind her back, pulling out her blade, and that's when Adina struck, lunging for her and grabbing a fistful of her blonde hair, punching her repeatedly. Adina was a far better fighter, and while Amriel tried to get in a few hits of her own, it was useless. She wondered where Hannah was, while Cas was lying out in the parking lot and she was here with an angel blade held to her throat.

"Attagirl, Amriel, suffer. Just like my Daniel suffered before Hannah killed him."

"Daniel's death isn't on our heads, it's on yours!" Amriel hissed in return.

"We did nothing. We wanted nothing but to be left alone."

"I know that," Amriel told her quietly, "I would want the same thing…"

"Then why? Why did you help them?" Adina asked, a confused look on her face, but her hold didn't falter.

"Because I love Castiel, and he needed my help. I'd do anything for him," the blonde answered, watching Adina's eyes widen before narrowing once more.

"Ah, well, love does make us do crazy things. So you'll understand why I have to kill you," Adina said as she pulled Amriel's head back, placing the blade right under her chin. "You really should have left us alone."

"And that will do."

Crowley's voice rang out, causing both angels' eyes to widen in surprise. Adina dropped Amriel to the ground, and the blonde watched her attacker walk over to the demon, presumably to attack him too.

She didn't get the chance, though. Crowley pulled out an angel blade and slit her throat before Adina could even say a word. Amriel watched as grace leaked out of the cut, flowing into a vial that Crowley was holding in his right hand. Once the vial was full, he stabbed Adina in the heart, watching as her body fell to the floor, dead.

"Why can't you people just sit on clouds and play on harps like you're supposed to?" he asked as he capped the vial and walked out of the store.

Amriel scrambled to her feet and ran after him, where she saw Hannah standing a few yards away with a handful of bloodied paper towels. Apparently she had been taking care of Cas while she was being beaten to a pulp.

Crowley held the grace near Castiel's mouth, and Amriel could only watch as he leaned away, refusing to accept another stolen grace.

"Don't be an idiot," Crowley chided. "Yes, it's hers, but she was killing your girlfriend. Your hands are clean, and as much as it pains me to say this, you're useless to me dead."

She watched the grace flow into Castiel's mouth, his body lighting up and his injuries healing, and she couldn't help but smile to herself. She would have him for a bit longer now, until she could find his true grace.

"You owe me," Crowley said to Cas, who was standing now.

"Why did you help me?" he asked, his eyes focused on the demon.

"Purely business. Since you're five miles away from the Winchester's Clubhouse, I can only assume that you're headed there," Crowley said in a bored tone. "And that Dean has become a handful. Having him as a demon has caused me nothing but grief. Fix the problem."

"You realize, worst comes to worst, that means killing him," Cas told him, and Crowley shrugged.

"I'm not sentimental," the demon said, then walked away without another word.

* * *

After a tense, quiet car ride to the bunker, Cas told Hannah and Amriel to stay in the vehicle while he went inside.

"What? Cas, I'm coming in with you," Amriel tried to argue, but he cut her off.

"Sam texted me and said that Dean is in there. I can't risk your safety, so please, just stay out here. You're already injured as it is," he said, reaching out and letting his fingers trace the bruises lining her cheek and jaw. "Just stay and heal."

Amriel merely nodded, not really wanting to be left with Hannah, but understanding where he was coming from. He couldn't focus on stopping Dean if he was worried about something happening to her. Dean was a demon. Who knew what he would do if he got cornered.

"Be careful," she answered quietly, watching him nod in response before getting out of the car and heading into the bunker.

"And then there were two," Hannah said from the back seat, and Amriel merely sighed.

"What were you doing the entire time Adina was beating the crap out of me and Cas?" the blonde asked, turning to face her fellow angel.

"I— I was just freshening up…" Hannah stuttered, causing Amriel to narrow her eyes. "Okay, I was reading a fashion magazine. You wear things that I saw in the magazine, and I wanted to know more about clothes."

Amriel felt something click in her mind, and she understood Hannah now. She was lost, just like she had been before finding Cas. Hannah just wanted to fit in, and Amriel hadn't even given her a chance.

"I get it, Hannah," she finally said. "You want to fit in with the humans. I was… I'm the same way. It's hard, I know how you're feeling."

"Do you, though? You have Castiel by your side! He loves you as you do him. What do I have?" Hannah asked, a bitterness in her voice that Amriel picked up on and made her frown.

"You have us, Hannah. We're your friends." The blonde was trying to get through to her, but it didn't seem like it was working. "What else is on your mind?"

"N-nothing, it's stupid," Hannah answered quickly, and Amriel noticed that she wouldn't look at her.

"Hannah, you can tell me. I promise I won't judge you or anything," Amriel tried again, watching as Hannah shifted nervously before finally raising her gaze to meet her own.

"Don't be upset with me," Hannah started before she took a deep breath, exhaling before she continued, "But I think I have feelings for Castiel."

Amriel froze, unable to comprehend what Hannah had just told her.

"You what?" she finally asked once she found her voice again.

"I don't know what I'm feeling, since this has never happened to me before..." Hannah rambled, "I feel  _warm_  whenever I'm near him, and hearing him speak makes me want to smile."

"Hannah-" Amriel started, but the brunette cut her off.

"I know that you two are together, which is why I wanted to keep it to myself."

Amriel didn't know what to say. There was nothing to say, really. She stared down at her hands, feeling incredibly awkward in that moment. Thankfully her phone vibrated and she saw that it was a text from Cas, telling her that she should come in because they had Dean tied up and were going to continue the blood therapy.

"Cas says they have Dean secured. Do you want to come?" Amriel asked, wanting to extend the offer to the brunette to show that she felt nothing bad towards her after her admission.

"No, it's alright. I'll stay out here and do some more reading," Hannah said as she pulled a stack of magazines out from under the seat, a small smile on her face.

Amriel nodded and got out of the car, closing the door behind her and heading into the bunker, where she found Sam and Cas standing while Dean was strapped to a chair, unconscious.

She noticed needle marks in Dean's arm near the Mark of Cain, and she looked between Cas and the younger Winchester, waiting for an explanation.

"We gave him all this blood, and he still said he didn't want to be cured— that he didn't want to be human," Sam told her. "What the hell are we doing to him?"

"I see his point," Cas said. "You know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain. This is easier."

Amriel took his words into consideration, wondering if that's how he felt. If he preferred being an angel again because he didn't have to feel as much as he did as a human.

She had to push the thought aside as Dean woke up, his eyes black for a few seconds before dissipating quickly. Sam unscrewed the cap of the flask he had been holding, as Dean groaned and looked around to gather his surroundings.

"You guys look worried," Dean finally said, and Sam splashed some holy water into his face, smiling when nothing happened.

"Welcome back, Dean," Sam answers, relief evident in his voice.

* * *

Cas and Amriel were in the library while Sam was talking with Dean elsewhere, and Amriel was watching Cas as he thumbed through the book on demonic possession before picking up the  _Practitioner's Guide to Exorcism_  and looking through that.

"Hey, about what you said to Sam earlier…" Amriel started, and Cas looked up from the book, now focused on her. "Do you think it's easier to be an angel again because you don't have to experience all the emotions you did as a human?"

She didn't want to show how much his statement had affected her. Amriel knew she was being ridiculous— she had never even been a human. How would she know what it was like?

Castiel narrowed his gaze, squinting at the blonde slightly as he set the book down and moved his chair so he was closer to her. He took both of her hands in his and stared her straight in the eyes as he said, "I only wish I was still human so I could feel my love for you purely and without this stolen grace. Feeling emotions as a human was probably the most profound experience I've ever had, and that's because of you, Elle."

Amriel wanted to say something, anything in return to let him know she felt the same way, but Sam walked into the room, greeting the angels with a "hey."

With his hands still holding Amriel's, Cas looked up and asked how Dean was doing.

"He's uh… He's still a little out of it, but better, I think. I mean, this whole thing with the blood cure, and the, well, all of it, really wrecked him, you know?"

The angels nodded, both understanding what he was saying. Dead had certainly been through a lot.

"On the plus side," Sam said with a slight smile, "He's hungry again, so I'm just gonna go pick him up a big ol' bag of crap food and stuff it in his face myself. You guys mind keeping an eye on him?"

"Sure, but Sam, you realize that while one problem is solved, another remains," Cas told him. "Dean is no longer a demon, that's true. But the Mark of Cain… That, he still has, and sooner or later, that's going to be an issue."

"You know what, Cas? I'm beat, man. One battle at a time, you know? So I'm just gonna grab my brother some cholesterol, and then I'm gonna get drunk," Sam said with a sigh, then nodded to Amriel and left the bunker.

"Do you want to go check on Dean?" Amriel asked once she heard the Impala leave, signaling that Sam was on his way into town.

"Yes, but first there's something I need to apologize to you for," he said, and Amriel sent him a confused look. "I shouldn't be so ready to give up. I'm not happy that an angel had to die so I could live, but I'm glad Crowley showed up. I'm glad I get more time with you."

"I accept your apology," Amriel answered with a small smile, "Just don't do it again. I'd be lost without you, Cas. Now come on, let's go see how Dean's doing."

She got up and held out her hand, smiling when Cas took it, and together they walked to Dean's room. The blonde knocked on the door gently, opening it when she heard Dean on the other side. She opened the door and let Cas go in first and told the Winchester that he looked terrible.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to lie every now and again," Dean said with a laugh.

"No, it wouldn't kill me," Cas answered, "I just… You…"

"Forget it," Dean interrupted him, "You, on the other hand, you're looking good. So, are you back? Is he back?"

Amriel shrugged and nodded to Cas, signaling for him to explain.

"At least temporarily, it's a long story. Crowley, stolen grace. One of our former followers is outside in the car…" Dean stared at him blankly, and Cas shook his head, "Another time."

"Well, thank you for, um… Stepping in when you did," Dean pivoted, changing the subject quickly, "What did Sam say? Does he want a divorce?"

"I think Sam knows that whatever you said or did, it wasn't really you," Amriel reassured him, "It certainly wasn't  _all_  you."

"I tried to kill him, Amriel," Dean sighed, and she looked to Cas and saw him frowning.

"Dean, you two have been through so much. Look, you're brothers. It'd take a lot more than trying to kill Sam with a hammer to make him want to walk away," Castiel told him and Amriel saw Dean roll his eyes.

"You realize how screwed up our lives are that that even makes sense?" Dean asked, earning a laugh from Cas. "I'm glad you two are here. It's nice to see familiar faces."

"We should let you rest… Sam should be back with food soon," Amriel said, "I believe he's bringing beer, too."

"And Dean, maybe you should take some time before you get back to work. Allow yourself to heal. It's, uh… I don't know," Cas fumbled with his words, "The timing might be right. Heaven and Hell… They seem reasonably back in order. It's quiet out there."

"I'll take time off when I'm dead. You two, on the other hand, need to be careful," Dean said sternly, and the angels nodded simultaneously before turning to leave. "Amriel, could you stay a minute?"

Amriel stopped and turned to face Dean before looking back at Cas, who nodded and left the room.

"Be real with me, Blondie. Is Cas back to his old self?" Dean asked, staring her down from his seat on his bed.

"The grace he has now won't sustain him," she said quietly, unsure if Castiel was outside listening or not. "It'll be a few weeks, maybe a month or two before he needs a new one. You didn't see him, Dean. He was literally moments away from dying, and he.. he was just going to accept it."

Amriel paused, taking a deep breath and sitting down on the bed beside Dean, looking at him as she spoke quietly, "When Crowley showed up and slit Adina's throat… I was relieved. Please, don't tell him I said that. He was so stubborn, Dean. I didn't want to watch him die."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Dean told her with a sympathetic smile, "You're still looking for his actual grace, right?"

"Yeah, but I haven't gotten any closer to finding it. I think Metatron hid it away somewhere, and I was going to make a deal to get it out of him—"

"But Cas stopped you, didn't he?" Dean interrupted, and Amriel nodded. "Typical. He'll do anything for you but won't take any help in return."

"I believe he's said the same thing about you," the blonde said with a smile, getting up as she continued, "Take his advice, though. Rest, recover, take care of yourself."

"Only if you take care of him… I know I'm not always there when he needs me, but you are," Dean said quietly, and Amriel set a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in a reassuring manner.

"I will, Dean. I promise."

* * *

Amriel found Cas leaning over the table in the library, his eyes scanning over everything that Sam had laid out earlier. He seemed so focused, so intent on whatever he was reading, and Amriel couldn't help but stop and admire him. She noticed the tension in his shoulders and frowned, wondering why he was as tense as he was.

"Hey," she finally said, making her presence known. Cas turned to face her, and she saw his eyes light up when he looked at her. She felt her heartbeat increase, and she sent him a smile. "Do you want to head out?"

"I'd like to wait for Sam to come back… I don't think Dean should be left alone," Castiel answered, "Is that okay?"

"Of course, Cas," she nodded, "I'll just text Hannah and let her know we'll be a bit longer. She's doing some… research in the car."

Amriel pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent a quick text to Hannah before turning her attention back to Cas. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, asking what he was looking over.

"Just some of the research Sam had been compiling about the Mark of Cain. We still have to deal with that, even though Dean is no longer a demon," Cas sighed.

"I'm sure Sam can figure out how to remove or transfer it. He's pretty smart," she told him, "But if he does need our help, he'll ask. Want to play cards until he gets back?"

The pair played gin until the door to the bunker opened and they heard Sam's heavy footsteps as he came down the stairs, a few bags of what smelled like hamburgers in his hand.

"Oh, hey guys. You didn't have to wait for me to get back," he told them, setting the bags on the table and looking at what they were playing.

"We just wanted to make sure Dean has someone here with him," Cas answered as Amriel began to pick up the cards and put them back into their box.

"Yeah, but we should get on the road soon," Amriel continued, glancing up at Sam, "Please, let us know if you need anything. We're just a call or text away, and you know we'll drop whatever we're doing to help."

Sam scratched the back of his neck nervously, letting out a chuckle, saying that he knew. The two angels got up from their seats, and Amriel was quick to give her charge a tight hug, careful of his arm. She was a little disappointed when he didn't hug her back like he usually did, and when she pulled away she saw him tear his gaze away from Cas, who looked like he was holding himself back from saying something.

The Winchester shook hands with Castiel and gave him a quick, forced hug, and with that, the two left the bunker and got back into the car, where Hannah was on her fourth magazine.

"What was that all about?" Amriel asked as they got on the road, watching Cas as he maintained his focus on driving.

"I don't know what you mean," he answered bluntly, and Amriel knew he was lying.

"C'mon, I saw the way you looked at Sam before we left. What was that?" she pressed, watching his jaw clench slightly.

"I don't like when he's close to you like that. I don't want him getting the wrong idea and kissing you again, even after I warned him—"

"You  _what?_ " Amriel cut him off, "When did this happen?"

"The morning after you told me about it. I gave him a warning, and I think he understood. But you never know. Sam and Dean have a habit of bedding many women…" Cas trailed off, realizing that he was only digging himself into a deeper hole.

"So you think I would have sex with Sam? He's my  _charge_ , Castiel," the blonde hissed, turning away from him and staring out the window, trying to ignore Hannah's gaze on her. "I would never betray you in that way."

She crossed her arms over her chest, angry that he would even say something like that to her.

"Elle, I didn't mean it like that," he tried to explain. "I know  _you_  wouldn't. But Sam… He's already kissed you. Who's to say he wouldn't try something else?"

Hannah gasped from the back seat, and Amriel saw the brunette put her hand over her mouth in the visor mirror.

"I made it very clear that he had been inappropriate, Castiel," she answered, refusing to use his nickname. "And apparently you did too. We can discuss this later, when you're not operating heavy machinery."

The car fell silent, the sounds of the pop-rock on the radio station filling the void, as Amriel stared out the window, squeezing her arms tightly as she tried not to cry. She and Cas had never argued like this before.

A few minutes passed before Hannah spoke up, saying that another angel had called while they were in the bunker.

"He told me that there are nearly a dozen angels on Earth that don't want to return to Heaven, like Daniel and Adina," Hannah said. "Our mission is to find them and take them home."

Home. Amriel frowned to herself. Heaven certainly didn't feel like home anymore.


	35. Boundaries

Three weeks after leaving the bunker the angels were still on the road, finding those that were reluctant to go back to Heaven and convincing them to return. Amriel didn't exactly agree with it, but she went along with Hannah and Cas anyways.

She and Castiel had fully reconciled when he took her on a date in Portland, where they had dinner and went to a movie she had wanted to go see. But mostly, they really just needed the alone time. Hannah was with them constantly, and Amriel found it suffocating at times.

They didn't have the money for separate motel rooms, so the three shared a room, and Hannah wasn't shy about anything whatsoever. She had undressed in front of the pair before, and Amriel had to tell her that was inappropriate to do with others around.

"Cas, I can't take much more of this," Amriel said quietly. Hannah was in the shower, something she did a lot, and the blonde took this as her opportunity to voice her complaints. "She said she was going to be gone for a few  _hours_. She was gone for 45 minutes!"

She pulled at the hem of her dress, upset that she didn't get the chance to reveal the lacy undergarments she was wearing to Cas. Since they started traveling with Hannah, they had only been intimate once, having sex in the back of the car after their date in Portland, and she was finding it more and more difficult to restrain herself around him.

Glancing up at the large map that covered the wall, Amriel looked at all of the photographs with faces staring back at her. This mission was consuming all of their time and efforts, and she wasn't sure if it was worth it.

"I miss being alone with you," she said, taking his right hand in both of hers, "It's hard to get time to ourselves when Hannah has no sense of personal space."

"Once we find all of the angels that need to return to Heaven we'll have time," Cas told her, setting his free hand on top of hers in response. "I know how you're feeling, though."

"How do you know that Hannah won't have some other task for us to complete? It'll be one thing after the other unless we put an end to it ourselves," Amriel frowned. "I don't want to be at her beck and call."

"Once we find these angels, we'll talk with Hannah, I promise," he said reassuringly as he let go of her hands and grabbed their laptop. "Here. This is Christopher Sherman, a pastor. A local paper in Tennessee says he's working miracles in his parish."

Amriel looked at the webpage, inspecting the photo and skimming through the article.

"Maybe we should check it out," she said as the bathroom door opened and Hannah appeared. "What harm could it do?"

"What are you two discussing?" Hannah asked, and Amriel saw her gaze narrow in their direction.

"Just a potential lead. Are you ready to get back on the road?" Cas spoke, and Amriel wondered if he had sensed the tension between herself and the brunette.

"Yes, let's go. Castiel, will you retrieve the car while Amriel and I pay for the room?" Hannah asked, grabbing her bag and making her way to the door.

Amriel shot Cas a look and shrugged, confused as to why Hannah wanted her to come along. She picked up her own bag and did a quick scan of the room, making sure she had everything.

"Don't forget your socks, Cas," Amriel said, nodding towards the pair of socks on the ground near the foot of the bed. "Okay, let's go pay."

The pair walked down to the front desk and Hannah opened her wallet, pulling out a credit card and setting it down for the attendant. Amriel watched from her spot by the travel brochures as a man approached them and he grabbed Hannah's hand, a look of surprise written all over his face.

"Caroline," the sandy haired man said, relief in his voice.

"Uh…" Hannah mumbled, and Amriel raised an eyebrow. This man must've known her vessel.

"I— I put an alert on your credit card. I saw a charge here and I drove all night," he said, and Amriel watched a disappointed look cross Hannah's face.

Amriel made a move to leave, but Hannah pinned her with a look that stopped her from going anywhere.

"Caroline, you've been gone a year. You just disappeared," he said. "I don't know what's gotten into your head, but something's going on, and I'm not walking away until I know what."

This man seemed determined, Amriel noticed. They weren't going to be able to leave unless Hannah came up with something.

"Well… There is a reason, an answer for all of this," she stumbled over her words.

"Then tell me," he said, a desperation in his voice that tugged on Amriel's heartstrings.

"I can't. You wouldn't understand," Hannah answered quickly. "Look… Joe, this is Amy. Amy, this is my husband."

Amriel suppressed a groan, not thrilled to be brought into this. She turned so that she was no longer facing the brochures that advertised hikes and horseback riding, and now looked at Hannah and Joe.

"Oh… Hi," Amriel waved slightly, unsure of what she was supposed to do.

"Who is this?" Joe asked, looking between the two women.

"She, um," Hannah struggled to find something to say, and Amriel held her breath, hoping she'd come up with something.

"Are you saying you're together?" Joe filled in the blank, making the blonde's eyes widen.

"What? Yes," Hannah answered quickly, taking Amriel's hand in hers and pulling her into her side. "I left you, for her. She's the reason."

"No, I don't believe it," Joe's voice was raising by the second. "This girl? You're not- you're not that kind of person, you wouldn't do that. You  _couldn't_  do that."

Amriel wasn't sure if he meant that she wasn't the type to cheat or the type to be with someone that was the same gender, but she really didn't care to find out. She wanted to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

Before Amriel could say anything to placate the human, Hannah had turned and kissed her deeply. Amriel closed her eyes and went along with it, setting one of her hands on Hannah's shoulder, hoping that this would work to convince Joe.

Hannah pulled away and peeked at the man, who had a devastated look on his face.

"I'm sorry," the brunette said, picking up her credit card and pulling Amriel out of the lobby into the parking lot, where Cas was leaning up against the side of the car, gazing down at a map.

"Get in the car," Hannah told them both as she got into the back seat, and Amriel quickly obliged, wanting to leave the motel as soon as possible.

Amriel was silent for half an hour, still trying to process what had happened. When they stopped at a gas station, all three angels stood outside of the car as Cas handled filling up the car.

"What was that all about?" Amriel asked Hannah before turning to Cas to explain what had happened. "She told her vessel's husband that we were together. He didn't believe her, so she kissed me."

"Wait, what?" Cas blurted, looking between the two.

"He wouldn't listen," Hannah merely shrugged. "He wouldn't let me go, and I didn't want to hurt him. I could've erased his memory, but it didn't feel right. I thought if he truly believed Amriel and I were together, he'd give up. It worked, so why does it feel so bad?"

"You did the right thing," Cas finally said. and Amriel sent him a glare. "You hurt him, but you gave him something he could use to move forward and make sense of his loss. I had to take my vessel from his family— twice, actually. Jimmy Novak was a good man. He was married and had a daughter, Claire…"

"And?" Hannah asked, but Amriel already knew how the story went, so she headed over to the tub of water to get the squeegee to clean the windshield.

"And it was difficult, but necessary," he told her sadly. "The mission comes first, always."

The gas nozzle clicked off and Cas turned away to return the nozzle to the pump. When he looked up, Hannah was gone.

"Elle, did you see her leave?" he asked, confusion in his voice as he looked around.

"No.. I was cleaning the windshield," Amriel answered, throwing away the paper towel as she spoke. "Where could she have gone?"

"I don't know. Let's just get in the car and try and find her… She can't have gone far."

They got into the car and Cas took off down the road, and after fifteen minutes of driving they found her standing on a wood bridge over a stream.

"I'll go talk to her. You stay here, okay?" he told her as he turned the car off.

"Are you sure? Amriel asked, and Cas nodded, getting out of the car and telling her that he'd be back soon.

Castiel approached Hannah, standing beside her and gazing down at the stream.

"What's going on?" he asked her, staring at the running water beneath them as well.

"I'm sorry, Castiel. I'm not going with the two of you. I'm done," Hannah told him, and the two headed towards a path that went along the stream, as Hannah explained why she wasn't going to continue with them. "It's hard letting go of a story, a mission. But what of the humans whose lives we sacrifice in the name of that mission?"

"What of them?" Cas asked, glancing up at her as they walked.

"We always said that humans were our original mission. Maybe it's time to put them first," she said quietly.

"Where is all this coming from?" he continued his line of questions, trying to figure out where this was coming from.

"Being on Earth, working with you two, I've felt things. Human things— passions, hungers. To shower, and feel water on my skin.. To get closer to you. Jealousy, of the love you share with Amriel," Hannah said, avoiding eye contact with him as she spoke. "But all of that was nothing compared to what I felt when I saw him. Her husband— his anger and his grief.. And Caroline was inside of me, screaming out for him, for her life back. These feelings aren't for me. They belong to her, and I know it's time to step aside. Goodbye, Castiel."

Hannah leaned her head back and a familiar bluish white light came from her mouth, rising into the air. She collapsed into Castiel before standing up again, looking down at her hands, confused.

"Caroline, I'm—"

"Castiel," she interrupted him. "I know."

"Let's get you to the car. I think your husband is probably still at the motel. You can call him once we're on the way," Cas told her, leading the way back to Amriel and their car.

When they got back to the car, Amriel was leaning against the door, staring down at the water. She looked up and saw that the girl with Cas was definitely not Hannah, and she wondered what had happened.

"Caroline, right?" Amriel asked, pushing herself away from the car to open the door to the back seat.

"Yes," the brunette answered. "You're Amriel. I'm sorry for everything Hannah did to you… She was trying to sort through her jealousy and took it out on you."

Amriel stared at Caroline, unsure of how to answer the human.

"Thank you, Caroline," she finally said. "Let's get you back to Joe, okay?"

On the drive back to the motel, Caroline called her husband and told him to meet her in the parking lot. She asked Amriel to come with her to wait, and the blonde obliged, telling Cas to sit tight.

"I saw a lot of things when Hannah was in control of me," Caroline said thoughtfully as they walked through the lot, looking around for Joe's black sedan. "She respected you greatly, but she developed feelings for Castiel that were obviously unrequited. I'm sorry she constantly pushed boundaries and made the two of you uncomfortable."

"Caroline, you don't owe me any explanations for Hannah's actions. Just… Just live your life with your husband. Be happy, and forget about all of this," Amriel told her. "But if there's anything you ever need, don't hesitate to call either of us."

A black car rolled up to them and judging by the way Caroline's eyes lit up, Amriel knew it must've been Joe. The man got out of the car and Caroline hugged him tightly, saying that she was ready to go home.

Joe looked over Caroline's shoulder to Amriel, who sent him a small smile.

"She was just going through a rough time. Take her home, make her dinner, and show her just how much you love her," Amriel told him, "She truly missed you."

The blonde watched as Caroline got into the car, followed by Joe, and Hannah's former vessel sent her a wave as the car left the parking lot. Amriel watched until she couldn't see the car any more before walking back to Castiel, who was waiting patiently just where she had left him.

"I'm glad we could reunite her with her husband. It doesn't always go well when an angel inhabits a vessel for long periods of time," Amriel told him as she got into the car and buckled her seatbelt.

"Caroline is a strong person, she's going to be just fine," Cas said as he turned on the car. "So, where do you want to go next?"

Amriel turned to look at him, furrowing her brows as she thought, "I've read that Yellowstone is nice this time of year."

"Yellowstone it is," Castiel smiled, and they left the parking lot, heading for Wyoming.


	36. Claire

Cas and Amriel went between spending time in National Parks and big cities. After a week in Yellowstone, they went to Denver, Colorado. Following Denver, they went to the Ozark Mountains. The pair wandered through forests and city streets, admiring nature and the urban jungle, spending nights under the stars and under streetlights, swimming in natural springs and bar hopping. They were unable to keep their hands off of one another, stealing kisses and making love wherever and whenever they felt like it, and they felt closer to each other for it.

They were crossing things off of Amriel's to-do list and she couldn't have been more pleased. She was still looking for Castiel's grace and checking in with him about the state of his borrowed one frequently, and he insisted it was fine for now. But she knew that it too would fade.

Their hotel in Chicago was far nicer than most of the motels they had stayed at. Cas had wanted to splurge a little for a more comfortable bed, as they had spent the last week and a half sleeping in the car in the mountains. He could hear Amriel humming in the bathroom as she got ready for dinner, and he smiled to himself. He loved watching her doing every day, human tasks.

Cas noticed that she had been a lot happier now that they were spending most of their time together, and honestly he was too. She wasn't lying when she said that Hannah had been intruding on them. He stood up from the bed and brushed off his pants, walking over to the bathroom and leaning against the door frame. Watching Amriel as she finished applying a raspberry colored lipstick, Cas licked his own lips, wondering if it tasted like some of the other ones she had.

"Are you about ready?" he asked as he tucked his hands into his pockets, making eye contact with her in the mirror.

Amriel smiled and nodded, capping the lipstick and setting it on the counter before turning around and leaning against it. She looked him up and down, admiring his ruffled hair and loose tie. He wasn't wearing his suit jacket yet, and his white shirt was crisp since he had just ironed it. Figuring out the iron had been a disaster… They had burned through two shirts before getting it to work properly.

Taking his hand, Amriel sent him a smile, "Let's get going. I want to go to the Crystal Gardens!"

* * *

Navy Pier was buzzing with people and Amriel was in awe of the sights and sounds. It reminded her of the fair they had gone to in Rexford. They rode the Centennial Wheel, wandered through the park, and went through the Crystal Gardens, which Amriel found fascinating.

"How do they keep the palm trees from growing through the roof?" Amriel asked as they walked along the pier. "They aren't even native to Chicago…"

"I'm not a botanist, Elle," Cas said with a laugh. "Perhaps we can look it up later. Do you want to get some pizza? I read that this city is famous for deep dish."

"I dunno, are you going to complain about it tasting like  _particles?_ " she teased, watching him roll his eyes in response.

The pizza was far different than any the angels had ever had before, and Amriel found that she liked New York's pizza far more. Cas had actually enjoyed it, once he quit playing with Amriel and actually pieced it all together to get the taste. They left the restaurant with a few extra slices for later, and Amriel pulled him into a souvenir shop.

"How many postcards do you have now?" Castiel asked as she spun the rack, her eyes inspecting each one of the colorful cards.

"Maybe 30? I'm not really keeping count. What's been your favorite part about Chicago?" she asked him, picking up a card with the skyline on it. "Think about it so you can write it on the back when we get to the hotel."

That was Amriel's favorite thing to do in every city or town they went through. She had a growing stack of postcards from where they'd been, and both of them wrote down their favorite part of their visit on it.

Grabbing one more card to mail to a P.O. Box Sam had in Lebanon, Amriel made her way to the register to wait in line to pay, watching Cas as he wandered through the store. She heard his phone ring, and saw him pick it up. Maybe it was one of the Winchesters calling, she thought, wondering what they could be up to as she waited to pay.

Once Amriel tucked the postcards into her purse, she spotted Cas just outside of the store and went to meet him.

"Hey, who was on the phone?" she asked, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together as they started to walk along the pier.

"It was a woman from a place called Youth Transition Center in Pontiac, Illinois… Claire Novak, my vessel's daughter, was picked up by the police earlier today for shoplifting, and apparently this isn't the first time," he said thoughtfully. "I took her father from her… I basically ruined her life."

"Cas…" Amriel started, wanting to assure him that it wasn't his fault, but she wasn't sure what to say. "Her mother must be there for her, right?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen them in years.." he trailed off before stopping and turning to face Amriel. "We have to go help her. I'd feel partly responsible if anything happened to her."

The blonde nodded, "We can find out how far Pontiac is from here and decide when to leave. If Claire is important to you, I want to help in any way I can."

"She's most likely furious with me. I'm not sure how this is going to go," he frowned, and Amriel reached up, setting a hand on his cheek, telling him that they'd figure it out as they went.

"If she's open to help, that's great. If not… Hopefully we can convince her. Shoplifting and other small crimes could escalate into something way more serious. But let's wait until we see her to make our assessment," Amriel told him, tracing her thumb along his stubble-covered cheek. She rose up and pressed a kiss to his other cheek, flashing him a reassuring smile. "Let's get back to the hotel. I might let you shower with me if you're nice."

"I'm always nice to you, Elle," Cas finally smiled, taking her hand and squeezing gently. They started their walk back to the hotel, talking and stealing quick kisses the entire time.

At the hotel, Amriel slipped off her shoes and slid them under the desk, watching as Cas did the same thing. Over the months they had established little routines and habits, none that Amriel really noticed unless she was thinking about.

She watched him shrug out of his jacket and hang it up in the closet, then he undid his tie and started to unbutton his dress shirt. Amriel didn't even think when she moved over to him, pushing his hands out of the way and unbuttoning it for him, holding his gaze the entire time.

"Elle…" he said, his voice lower than it usually was. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you get undressed, Castiel," she answered, "I did say I'd let you shower with me, didn't I? But only if you do something for me first."

"And what is that?" he raised an eyebrow as Amriel grinned, pulling open his shirt and sliding it off his shoulders, running her fingers under his t-shirt.

"We have such a comfortable bed for a change… I was thinking we could take advantage of it," Amriel said, trailing her right hand down to his belt and tugging gently. "Then we could shower afterwards."

Cas was silent for a moment or two, and Amriel thought he was going to say no before he finally said, "You're wearing far too much clothing."

With a grin, Amriel pulled back and turned around, glancing at Cas over her shoulder and asking if he would unzip her dress. She felt his rough hands on her shoulder blades, ghosting over her skin before she heard the zipper, and soon her dress fell to the floor and she stepped out of it, turning back to face him.

"Do you like it?" she asked, motioning to the matching lacy, pale pink bra and panties she was wearing.

"I love anything you wear, you know that," Cas told her, pulling his shirt off and tossing it aside, "But right now it's merely a hinderance."

* * *

Pontiac was only an hour and a half drive from Chicago, so the pair arrived around 10 a.m., checking into a motel not too far from the youth center Claire Novak was being detained at.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Amriel asked, watching Cas as he combed his hair, something he rarely did.

"No, I think this is something I need to do alone. I'll keep you updated, though, okay?" he told her, turning around and holding his hands out at his sides, "Do I look presentable?"

"Of course. Very… parental," Amriel nodded. "I hope things go well. Let me know if you need me for anything. I might go for a walk around town."

With a quick peck on the lips and a goodbye, Cas left for the youth center. When he arrived, he told the receptionist that he was James Novak, Claire's father, and that he was there to see his daughter. An orderly escorted him back to her room once he was signed in, and he found the young girl sitting on the floor.

Claire stood up, her eyes big and full of hope, not leaving his figure as he turned to the orderly and asked if they could have a moment alone.

"I'll be outside," the orderly told him before leaving, closing the door behind him.

"I'm not your father," he told her softly, watching the light quickly leave her eyes, and he frowned slightly.

"Right.  _'I'm not your father.'_  Those are the first words you ever said to me, remember?" she spat, causing Cas to suppress a flinch.

"I remember everything," he told her.

"So do I, Castiel," she shot back before her voice became quiet, "My dad… is he still in there?"

"No. The human soul can only occupy a body while it retains a certain… structural integrity, and this vessel— it was ripped apart on a subatomic level by an archangel," he explained plainly.

"Well, then how are you—?"

"I was reassembled. Your father is in Heaven," he reassured the girl.

"Well, yay for him," she rolled her eyes. "Anyways, good talk. You can get the hell out of my life now."

"Claire—" Cas started, but she cut him off.

"What? You took  _everything_  from me. What could you possibly want now?"

The girl stared him down, and Cas felt guilt stirring deep in him. He had to do something to make up for taking her father from her.

"Nothing, I just— I came here to help you… Because I've hurt you so much," he told her, watching as she tried to hold back tears. He had no idea how to comfort the teenager, so he asked, "Where is your mother?"

"About a few months after you… She took off. Dropped me off at my grandma's and went to go  _find herself_. I guess she's still looking," Claire said sarcastically, reminding the angel of Dean for some reason.

"Are you in a child prison?" he asked, and Claire shrugged.

"It's a group home. After my Gran died, I didn't have anyone, so… I bounced around to different foster families. Places like this. Just living the dream, you know."

"Well Claire, I'm— I'm sorry, and I can never replace what I took from you," Cas told her honestly, "But if there is anything you need, anything at all…"

"Get me out of here," she blurted out, causing him to tilt his head in confusion.

"How?"

"Do you own a tie?" she asked, and he nodded quickly.

* * *

Despite Castiel's best effort, he was unable to impress the woman in charge and get Claire out of the center. He felt horrible when he returned to the motel and told Amriel about how the woman named Sandy denied his application for custody of the girl.

"She said that Claire is troubled, and that she needs a father," he told her, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do."

Amriel frowned, thinking about everything he had told her about the meeting with Sandy.

"Maybe you should try again tomorrow. She seems rebellious, and I don't think being told what to do by those people will do much to keep her from acting out," Amriel said with a shrug. "I could come with you. Maybe if this Sandy woman sees that you're in a stable relationship, she'll be more inclined to reconsider."

"Maybe," Cas echoed before changing the subject and asking Amriel what she did while he was out.

He listened as she told him about the town and how she had explored the Route 66 Association Museum, wondering why people were so fascinated by such a long stretch of road. She had gotten postcard from there, too, and she showed them to Cas.

"Your favorite thing was the mural outside?" he asked, and Amriel nodded enthusiastically, grabbing her phone and showing him a photo she had asked a woman to take over her in front of it.

"I see," he smiled, staring down at the pixelated version of Amriel. "It's a very nice mural."

"So, what do you want to do now?" Amriel asked him, adding the postcard she had gotten to her collection she kept in her duffle bag.

They ended up taking a long walk through the town and seeing a movie at a small theater, stopping at an ice cream parlor before returning to the motel and getting ready for bed.

"That movie was horrendous, Cas," Amriel groaned from the bed as he brushed his teeth, something he still did as a habit from his time as a human. "Why would humans in the United States all commit crime on one day of the year? Does the number of crimes go down that way? I feel like the number must be higher…"

"Elle, that's why it's fictional. I don't think anything like a purge would actually work," he told her as he walked into the room and got under the covers beside her. "Don't think too much into it. It's just a movie."

"I know, but that type of dystopian future is kind of ridiculous," she said with an eye roll, turning on the tv to try and find something suitable to fall asleep to.

"Did I tell you about how Dean was sent to a dystopian future once?" Cas asked, watching Amriel tilt her head in confusion. He took it as a signal to continue, so he did, "Lucifer released the Croatoan virus and much of humanity was wiped out. Dean tried not to tell me much… But he said that I was essentially human, and self medicating with prescription drugs, and… organizing orgies."

Amriel's jaw dropped, her eyes widening as she thought about what that Castiel would be like. She pictured him disheveled, sad, and lost without his powers, and she frowned.

"I'm glad that's not our reality," she told him softly, taking his hand and squeezing it. "I hope you don't plan on participating in any orgies any time soon." Amriel flashed him a look, watching him roll his eyes as he told her he wouldn't dream of it.

She went back to flipping channels before she realized something and asked, "Is that why you were so hard on me when I was taking pills?"

"I'm not sure, Elle. All I know is that when I saw the path you were going down, I knew it wouldn't end well, so I had to do something about it. I intend to do the same with Claire," he told her seriously, and Amriel nodded in understanding.

"Okay. Then tomorrow, bright and early, we'll go back and see what we can do."

Amriel turned out the light and settled into bed falling asleep rather quickly. Cas, however, couldn't get his mind to be quiet. He had to do something. Claire was all alone in that cold, sterile center and he could help her.

An hour and a half passed and he still couldn't sleep. Making up his mind, Cas quietly got out of bed, being careful not to wake the sleeping blonde next to him as he did so. He dressed quickly and grabbed his phone and the car keys, knowing that a room key was in his pocket as he left the motel room and drove to the center.

He easily broke into the building and rendered the already sleeping orderly unconscious, just in case, and made his way to Claire's room.

When he went to open the door he found that it was locked. Mentally cursing himself, Cas went back to the orderly's desk and took his keyring, returning to Claire's room and trying the first key he picked. The door opened, and he entered to find Claire lying on her bed, wide awake.

"It's you," she said quietly, "What's going on?"

"I'm getting you out of here," Cas answered, motioning for her to follow him.

Claire grabbed her jacket and followed the angel down the hall, stepping over the guard.

"Is he…?" she asked, and Cas immediately shook his head, knowing what she was going to ask.

"He's sleeping," he told her, continuing down the hall and out the front door of the center.

He took her to a diner down the street from the motel, where Claire ordered a burger and fries. He had received a worried text from Amriel, and he replied telling her to meet him at the diner.

Watching Claire drag her fries through a pile of ketchup, Cas frowned. As a human he  _hated_  ketchup.

"Yeah?" she asked, wanting to know why he was watching her so intently.

"Nothing. It's just… You could eat a vegetable," he said plainly, and Claire smiled back.

"Ketchup's a vegetable," Claire laughed. "You've changed. The Castiel I met? He was crappy. Like, super stuck up and a dick and you just wanted to punch him in his stupid angel face."

"I don't think I was  _that_  bad," he frowned, staring down at the plate again.

"You totally were. And now you're just, I dunno," she shrugged. "Nicer. And kind of a doof, no offense."

"Yes, well, um," Cas cleared his throat. "Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It's just people trying to do their best in a world where it's far too easy to do your worst."

"Wow, deep," Claire said, popping a fry into her mouth.

"Yeah, for a doof," he smiled, hearing the bell above the door tinkle and he looked up to see Amriel walk in. He watched her look around, her gaze finally meeting his and he smiled. Claire noticed and turned around, her eyes settling on the blonde as she frowned.

"Who is that?" Claire asked as Amriel approached, taking a seat in the booth beside Cas.

"Claire, this is Amriel," Cas introduced the two blondes. "Elle, this is Claire Novak."

"It's nice to meet you," Amriel told the girl with a smile, "I was under the impression that we would be breaking you out tomorrow, but I guess this works too."

"Who exactly are you?" Claire asked, staring at Amriel before looking back to Cas and noticing the way his demeanor had changed from a bumbling idiot to a bumbling idiot with puppy love all over his face. "You're  _banging_  her?" Claire gestured to Amriel as she glared at Cas. "What is she, seventeen?"

"Please, keep your voice down. I'm much older than I look," Amriel shot back. "And my vessel is that of a 24-year-old."

"That doesn't make it any better— that's my dad's body! He was 36, you know."

Amriel froze, staring at the blonde girl before her and realizing why she was so upset.

"Now Claire," Cas began to try and calm her down. "Amriel is an angel, and my fiancée."

"You're  _engaged?_  What the actual fuck," Claire groaned. "I can't. This is too much. It's one thing for you to be in my dad's body, but you're with someone? You have sex with her? How do you think I feel, seeing you with some chick?"

"Claire," he tried again. "I'm not your father. Jimmy is in Heaven, and you know that. If I wasn't inhabiting his body, it'd be in the ground."

"Sometimes I think it'd be better if it was," Claire muttered, staring down at her plate rather than the two angels in front of her. "Look, I appreciate the meal, and you know, the felony. But you don't need to babysit me. I can take care of myself."

"What do you mean?" Cas asked as the waitress approached their table and dropped off the check.

"I  _mean_ , you feel guilty, so you busted me out. So thanks, but we're good. Even Steven," Claire told him, ignoring Amriel.

"We committed a crime, and you might need me again, so I — I think we should stick together," Cas said quickly, and Claire gave in with a roll of her eyes.

"Okay. You want to get some stuff for the road? I have to pee," Claire huffed, and the three all got up at the same time. Amriel watched the two bump into each other, her eyes narrowing slightly as Cas apologized and Claire said, "My bad."

The girl disappeared into the bathroom and Amriel looked at the cookies and pastries, taking note of the different kinds of pie as Cas went to the register to pay.

"Amriel," he called from the counter, and she looked up from the glass case of pies. "My wallet is gone."

She looked around for Claire, noticing that she wasn't anywhere to be found.

"Go outside and see if you can find Claire, I'll check the bathroom and pay," she told him, and Cas quickly bolted out the front door.

Amriel went into the bathroom and wasn't surprised to find that no one was there. Heaving a sigh, she returned to the register and paid the bill before leaving the diner to find Cas standing in the road.

"What happened?" she asked once she approached him, noticing a look of disappointment on his face.

"She got in a car and left. Why would she do that?" Cas said quietly, and Amriel frowned.

"I'm not sure… Maybe we should call Sam and Dean. They can help us find her," she told him as she took his hand and lead him out of the road and back onto the sidewalk. "Come on, let's go back to the motel. I'll call Sam and you can take a shower. It's been a long day."

"You can say that again," he sighed, letting go of her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his side as the headed down the street to the motel.

* * *

Sam and Dean definitely didn't think Claire taking off was as serious as Cas and Amriel did. Dean seemed almost offended that the angels had called them out to Pontiac to find a teenage girl.

Cas had managed to convince the brothers to help them, and Sam and Amriel went off to ask around at the group home and see if anyone had heard from the girl while Dean practically dragged Cas into the diner.

"Dean, I don't like leaving Amriel alone with your brother," Cas frowned, looking at the bottle of ketchup that sat on the table. "Is ketchup a vegetable?"

"Hell yes, it's a vegetable. Now what's this about Sam? Didn't he kiss her or something? He mentioned it once," Dean mumbled as he stuffed his face with a burger. "Said you almost broke his arm."

"I had to get my point across," Cas said matter-of-factly, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Amriel's a big girl, she can handle herself with Sam. Now spill, what's with this family reunion?"

"I don't know, I've just been thinking about people," Cas watched Dean switch their plates, placing his empty one in front of the angel and starting in on his burger. "I've helped some, but I've hurt some, too."

"So, you're having a midlife crisis," Dean stated rather than asked, and Cas shot him a look.

"Well, I'm extremely old. I think I'm entitled," he snapped sarcastically.

"Cas, listen to me. There's some stuff you just got to let go, okay?"

They went on to talk more about letting things go, and Dean told the angel that he wasn't really good at that kind of thing, and that he definitely wasn't a role model. They bickered for a few minutes, until Cas asked Dean how he was doing.

As per usual, Dean said that he was doing great, but Castiel saw straight through him.

"Cas, I need you to promise me something," Dean said suddenly, the seriousness in his tone catching the angel's attention.

"Of course," he answered, waiting for Dean to continue.

"If I go dark side, you gotta take me out. Knife me, smite me. Throw me into the freakin' sun, whatever," Dean told him. "And don't let Sam get in the way, because he'll try. I can't go down that road again, man. I can't be that thing again."

"I promise, Dean. But that won't happen again. We'll find a way to deal with the mark, okay?"

* * *

Sam and Amriel sat in an office in the youth center across from Claire's caseworker, Sandy.

"Claire's a good kid, detectives," Sandy said, handing a folder over to Sam. "She's smart, and underneath it all she has a big heart. You know, there used to be a boy here. Dustin Tate. He was older, but Claire really took him under her wing."

"Is he around?" Sam asked, glancing through the folder before handing it over to Amriel.

"He works at the Weiner Hut. We tried to place Claire, but she always ran away. Sometimes for a couple of days, one time for six months," Sandy told the two with a frown on her face.

"Where does she like to hide out?" Amriel asked, not taking her gaze from the papers in her hands. There were pages and pages of notes from therapists.

"Wish I knew," Sandy answered, and they continued to discuss a few things before Sam said it'd be best if they left to go and try to find her.

"Sam, finding Claire and helping her out really means a lot to Cas. We need to do whatever it takes, so let's go check out that Weiner Hut," Amriel said before mumbling, "Whatever that is…"

On their way to the Weiner Hut, Amriel texted Cas as Sam drove, telling him to meet them there to see if they could find this Dustin Tate kid. They stood outside of the fast food restaurant, Sam watching the parking lot as Amriel peered in the window, mainly trying to figure out just what kind of food the place served.

"Who knew there were so many different toppings for hot dogs…" she said to herself, turning around when she heard footsteps. She smiled at Cas, who had a look of determination on his face as he approached, Dean not far behind with a paper bag full of something greasy.

Shortly after, a teenager that matched the description Sandy had given them of Dustin arrived. Cas was quick to act, grabbing the teen's jacket and pushing him against the wall of the building.

"You're going to tell me where Claire Novak is," Cas seethed, and Amriel watched carefully, making sure he didn't actually harm the child. " _Now_."

"I'd do what he says," Dean said with a mouth full of food, making the blonde roll her eyes.

Dustin Tate had told them that Claire was going to be at the nearest convenience store, and the four quickly made their way down the block. Amriel walked in and went left while Cas had gone right, and she scanned the aisles.

Castiel found Claire walking towards the cash register from the drink refrigerator, moving to pull something out of her pocket. He quickly caught up with her and grabbed her arm, turning her around and staring down at her.

Claire didn't say anything, and the two continued their stare down until Amriel walked up. She had noticed that the clerk glanced over at them, and she sent him a smile, saying, "Excuse us."

Amriel dragged them both out of the store, letting Claire go once they were in the parking lot.

The girl pulled her hood off of her head and started to walk away, ignoring Cas' calls for her to wait.

"Screw you!" she yelled over her shoulder, nearly bumping into Dean as she did so.

"Woah, hey, Miley Cyrus. Settle down," Dean said, keeping her from leaving.

"Eat me, Hasselhoff," the girl snapped in response, trying to move around Dean only to be stopped by Sam.

"Claire, hold on a second. Look, my name's—" Sam started, but Claire cut him off.

"Sam. And he's Dean. We've met, remember?" she rolled her eyes, and Amriel moved so that she was closer to Sam, in case the girl decided to make a run for it.

"Claire, you were going to rob that convenience store?" Cas asked, and she shrugged, "So?"

"So? So, it's wrong!" he told her.

"You want to talk to me about wrong? You killed my dad! Is that  _wrong_  enough for you?" Claire spat, and Amriel saw Castiel recoil slightly.

"Claire, I'm—" he stepped forward, and Amriel felt like she was watching in slow motion when Claire pulled a gun out of her pocket, cocked it, and aimed it at him.

Amriel moved to intervene, but stopped when Cas held out his hand, signaling for her to stay back.

"That won't hurt me," he told Claire, and the girl turned the gun on Sam and Dean.

"Woah!" Dean yelped, holding up his hands in defense.

"Hold on a second," Sam tried, and Amriel moved herself so she was standing between Claire and the Winchesters.

"Why? Like you don't have it coming? You stood there while this monster took my dad!" Claire finally put the gun down, and Amriel was quick to grab it and hand it off to Dean while the girl turned her attention to Cas. "I used to pray to you, Castiel.  _Every night_. I would beg you to bring him home safe."

"I know," he said, unable to look Claire in the eyes. Instead, he stared at the ground, apologizing for what he did to her father.

Sam asked if she was going to run back to Randy, the man she was apparently stealing for, and Claire blew up at them, telling them that Randy had been there for her when no one else had.

"You can all just go to Hell," Claire told the four, turning on her heel and walking away.

Despite the fact that Amriel wanted to go after the girl and try to talk some sense into her again, she decided it was best to let her cool off.

"C'mon, guys. I could use a drink or six," Dean finally said, trying to ease the tension. "Let's find a bar."

* * *

The bar was relatively quiet since it was the middle of the afternoon, and Dean decided to order them all whiskeys as they sat down.

"Cas, don't beat yourself up, man. Claire was…" Sam trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Right," Castiel finished for him. "She was right. Who am I to tell her how to live her life?"

"Well, someone needs to. It's not like we're talking about Mother Teresa here," Dean said, "The girl almost knocked off a Gas n Sip. She's got issues."

"Because of me," Cas mumbled, and Amriel watched Dean roll his eyes as he said, "Well, you are wearing her old man's meat suit. Probably doesn't help."

Sam shook his head at his brother, and Amriel took a sip of her whiskey, frowning at the taste.

"I thought I could make it up to her," Cas continued, and the blonde set her hand on his, squeezing gently, reassuring him that she was there for him.

"I don't think you can," Sam told him. "I mean, Jimmy was her father, and to some people, that's everything, you know?"

"No, I don't. We never knew our father," Cas told the brothers, "He was distant, to say the least."

Amriel nodded in agreement, "That's true. He was an absent father for most of our existence."

Cas asked Dean if he loved his father, and both Winchesters spoke about just how much they loved John, and how they had convinced him to let them go to New York City once when they were growing up. Dean had decided to sneak off and go to CBGB, where The Ramones and Blondie got their start, and got drunk underage.

"My old man, I don't know how, but he found me. And now I'm really freaking out, because he's just standing there, not saying anything. I look around, and everybody else is freaking out, too. In fact, nobody's even looking him in the eye. And finally, this one guy with, like, a safety pin through his nose and a—a "Kill Everything" tattoo looks up and he says, 'Sorry, sir.'"

The angels smile and Dean shakes his head, "Yeah. 'Sorry, sir.' to John friggin' Winchester."

"He saved you," Cas said, and Dean nodded.

"Yeah, and you know what he got for that? Me whining about how much he embarrassed me. Me telling him that I hated him. But then he stopped and turned around and he looked at me and he said, 'Son, you don't like me? That's fine. It's not my job to be liked.'"

"It's my job to raise you right," Sam finished for his brother.

"Do you think Claire is in trouble?" Castiel asked, and Dean motioned to the bartender for another round, saying, "She's hanging out with a guy named Randy. She's in trouble."

Cas' phone vibrated against the wood of the bar, and Amriel raised an eyebrow. Everyone who would contact him was right there.

"It's Dustin," Cas told them. "He sent Claire's current location, and says that she's in trouble."

"Well, what are we waiting for," Dean said as he pulled a few bills out of his wallet, setting them down on the bar. "Let's get over there."


	37. Something Borrowed

They had arrived just in time, as it turned out. Cas had stopped one of Randy's creepy friends from assaulting Claire, and while he and Amriel were out in the car consoling the girl, Dean had killed everyone in the house.

The five returned to the bunker, and for a few days they laid low. Sam and Dean were trying to deal with the Mark, while Cas and Amriel were trying to help Claire adjust to being in the bunker.

Claire was currently in the room they had made up for her, while the pair of angels were in the library, Amriel seated in a chair while Cas paced. Truthfully, his pacing was making her feel restless too, so the next time he passed by she reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him to a stop.

"You're making me anxious," she told him before pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. "Take a seat and tell me what's on your mind."

He ran a hand through her hair, rubbing the back of her head with the tips of his fingers, as he said, "She barely speaks to me."

Sam came in and Amriel sent him a nod as he sat down at the table, listening as Cas continued to talk.

"She's like a wounded animal, just watching me," the angel frowned, squeezing Amriel's hand.

"Look, Cas, you know what? You really tried to do the right thing that night," Sam told him. "This guy Claire was hanging out with, Randy, all he did was use her."

"Well, she thought he was kind, and for that, she loved him. Shows how little kindness there was in her life," Cas shook his head, "You know, whatever Randy did, he didn't deserve—"

"No, yeah, I know," Sam interrupted, "I hear you. Dean has had to kill before. We both have, but that was—"

"That was what?" Dean asked as he walked into the library, startling the three that were already in there.

"Dean…" the younger Winchester started, but Dean cut him off.

"That was a massacre, that's what it was," he said, looking from Sam to Cas and Amriel, "You can say it. You're not wrong. I crossed the line. Guys, this thing's gotta go."

Amriel let go of Cas' hand, getting up from her chair and approaching Dean. She took his arm in both of her hands, lifting up the sleeve of his plaid shirt and looking at the Mark of Cain. She felt him tense as her fingers grazed over it lightly, and Amriel shuddered at the dark energy radiating off of it.

"It won't be easy to remove this," Amriel mumbled, releasing his arm, not liking the feeling she got from being so close to it.

"Well, then burn it off! Cut it off," Dean told her as he rolled his sleeve back down.

"It's more than just a physical thing," Cas said from the chair Amriel had vacated. "It'll take a very powerful force to remove the effect."

"Dean, we've been through all the lore. There's  _nothing_ ," Sam stressed, looking to the angels for confirmation.

Amriel merely nodded her head, and Cas said, "This reaches back to the time of creation. It may pre-date the lore. If we had the demon tablet, maybe."

"But you said it was missing," Sam said, shooting him a confused look.

"It is," Cas answered, and Amriel watched a reluctant look cross his face. "But there may be another way."

* * *

"I can't believe we're doing this," Amriel said under her breath, unsure if Cas had heard her or not as they approached the playground that was home to the portal to Heaven.

She noticed the guards were still there, one in a woman's vessel and one in a little girl's, watching from their position near the sandbox.

"They should be here by now," Cas said impatiently, "Was there word of a delay?"

"All I do is watch the door. Who are you two expecting?" the angel asked, and before either of them could answer, the portal opened and an angel named Ingrid came through, escorting a prisoner with a hood over his head.

"Thank you, Ingrid," Cas told her, ignoring the way Amriel had tensed beside him.

"I did as you asked at great risk, Castiel," Ingrid answered.

"I know. We approached you because we know you share our belief that it is the angels' mission to protect humans. It's possible that we can eliminate a great threat to them, but we will need his help," Cas explained, and Amriel bit the inside of her cheek.

"He must be returned intact," Ingrid stressed, "Is that clear?"

"Yes," they both nodded, and Cas took the prisoner while Ingrid and her companion left through the portal.

Cas removed the hood, revealing Metatron, who was looking up at them with a smirk on his face.

"Told you last time I saw you I'd get out of the slammer. Hello, Amriel, how've you been doing? Still with this wannabe hero, I see," Metatron teased, and Amriel frowned.

"Your presence here is temporary, trust me," she told him bluntly, hoping he would stop speaking. But of course, he didn't.

"Well, speaking of temporary,  _you_ , Castiel, must've borrowed more grace. You're looking very good. Of course, we both know that won't last. Is that why I'm here?" Metatron asked, "You think I'm gonna help you?"

"This isn't about me," he snapped.

"Of course not," Metatron rolled his eyes, "The great Castiel  _never_  stoops to such selfishness. So what is it then?"

At that moment Sam got out of the Lincoln, Amriel saw Metatron's eyes widen.

* * *

Metatron was chained up in the Men of Letters dungeon, where Sam was interrogating him about removing the Mark of Cain from Dean's arm.

Amriel could hear the interrogation wasn't going well as she stood in the war room, watching Cas pocket his car keys, eager to leave.

"I'm going to go check on Claire. Will you stay here and make sure nothing happens to Metatron?" he asked, and Amriel nodded in response.

Claire hadn't been adjusting well to the bunker, so Cas had put her up in a hotel nearby.

"Of course," she told him, "I'll keep things under control here. Just… Be careful with Claire. She's vulnerable and doesn't know what to do now."

"I will, you don't have to worry," Cas answered, and Amriel shot him a look. "What?"

"Cas, you're not familiar with the inner turmoils of a teenage girl. Be understanding, but don't let her walk all over you."

Castiel shook his head and walked over to the blonde, who had moved to sit on the table, laughing that she watched too many teen dramas on TV. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and mumbled, "I just want to check in on her. There's no need to worry."

They walked to the stairs that led to the bunker door, and Amriel wrapped her arms around Cas in a tight hug. She inhaled deeply, loving that he smelled like a forest in the early morning.

"Don't be gone long," she told him. "I don't like it when we're apart for longer than necessary."

Amriel kept her face buried in his chest so she didn't have to see his reaction, but he moved her so she was at arm's length. She looked up and saw a slight frown on his lips, his eyes glittering with apologies he wanted to tell her. He hated having to say goodbye.

"I know, Elle. I promise I'll be less than an hour or two."

After one more kiss, Cas left the bunker and Amriel went to go listen in on the brothers' interrogation of Metatron.

She stayed outside of the room he was being held in, not wanting to cause a distraction or interact with the angel unless she had to.

Amriel listened as they went back and forth, Sam asking how to get rid of the mark, Metatron giving him vague, winded replies that didn't really make sense to her.

When Metatron told them that they'd need the First Blade to even begin getting the mark off of Dean, the brothers decided they had enough and left the room.

Following the men into the library, Amriel asked what was going on.

"We need the blade," Dean told her, making her eyes widen.

"This is the single worst idea I've ever heard," Sam interrupted. "You just whacked a whole house full of people, and that's when the Blade wasn't even around. And now you wanna be in actual contact with it?"

"We don't know if I have to be in contact with it," Dean shot back. "All we know is that we need it."

"That's what  _Metatron_  says though. How do you know he's telling the truth? He's not exactly known for his honesty," Amriel said as she rolled her eyes.

"A step at a time, okay? We play it safe, learn whatever the spell is, how it works, and we keep the Blade out of my hands," Dean pulls out his phone and starts to make a call, "I don't know what he wants, but if we weren't willing to take a shot, what was the point of bringing him here? Unless you got a better idea…"

Amriel looked to Sam, who seemed exasperated to say the least. She could hear Crowley on the receiver of Dean's phone, the older Winchester telling the demon that they needed to meet as soon as possible.

She pulled out her own phone, texting Cas about what was going on while Sam and Dean argued over whether or not they were going to go meet with Crowley.

"Do you want me to come with you guys?" she asked, "I'm more than capable of making sure Crowley does what he's supposed to."

"You should probably stay here in case Metatron tries anything funny," Dean told her. "You'd be able to handle him, right?"

"Of course," Amriel snapped, annoyed that Dean thought she was incapable of keeping him under control. "He won't be going anywhere."

"Good," the older Winchester nodded in response, accepting her answer. "We're gonna roll out then."

They said their goodbyes quickly and once the brothers were gone, Amriel strolled around the bunker, unsure of what she should do.

She could hear Metatron in the dungeon, and part of her wanted to go and have a word with him. So, she made her way towards the room, treading quietly as not to alert him to her presence.

"I can hear you, Amriel. Come on in, keep me company between the interrogations," Metatron's voice rang out suddenly, making her jump in surprise.

Entering the dungeon, Amriel closed the door behind herself and stayed close to the perimeter of the room, eyeing Metatron warily.

"You can come closer, I don't bite," Metatron said with a laugh, then he raised an eyebrow suggestively, "Or maybe I do. Want to find out?"

"Not really," she mumbled, "I doubt you practice good oral hygiene."

"Oh Amriel," he chuckled at her response, "You spend far too much time with Asstiel."

The blonde frowned, not liking the name Metatron called Cas, "I don't think I spend  _enough_  time with him, to be honest."

She watched as Metatron stared her down, his gaze unnerving as she tried to figure out what she wanted to ask him. Before she could open her mouth, though, he began to speak.

"I'm sure you're still scrambling to find that missing grace of his. Too bad it's in a place you'll never think to look. I  _could_  give you a clue or two, for a price," he smirked.

"Castiel made it clear I wasn't to make any sort of deals with you," Amriel answered quickly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm sure there are other ways to get you to spill your secrets, however."

"So you're gonna torture me?" Metatron rolled his eyes, "Taking a page out of Dean Winchester's book, I see. I thought the nerdy one was your charge."

"Sam is my charge, and he's taught me a lot," Amriel said, approaching Metatron and smiling down at him. She looked at the table to his right and spotted exactly what she needed. "Like how to snoop through someone's cell phone."

Amriel picked up the device and pocketed it quickly, backing away from the angel and leaning against the wall again.

"You know, I remember you were much quieter in Heaven. You kept your head down, did your job- I remember you did other angels' duties, too," Metatron mused. "What happened to that quiet, passive angel?"

"That angel fell to Earth and had to figure things out on her own," Amriel snapped back. "I will never forgive you for causing the Fall-"

"But you've forgiven Castiel! It was  _his_  grace that sealed the spell," the angel argued, but Amriel shook her head.

"You're the one that performed the spell and tricked him into helping you. I'm not here to argue, Metatron," Amriel said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm here for answers, and I'm going to get them."

She heard the door to the bunker open and the familiar footsteps of Sam and Dean rumbling down the stairs, so she sent Metatron one last look.

"I can't wait for you to be punished the way you deserve. Karma is a bitch, I've heard," Amriel told him, turning around and opening the door.

"Feisty! I like this Amriel. It's that kind of attitude that will get you places!" he called after her, and Amriel slammed the door behind herself, walking away from the dungeon without looking back.

She didn't have time for Metatron's riddles or commentary, so when she got to the library where she found Sam, she sat down at the computer and pulled out the phone she had taken.

"Where'd you get that from?" Sam asked, and Amriel flipped it open, surprised to find that there wasn't a passcode.

"It's Metatron's. I thought I could go through it to see if we could find anything useful," she shrugged.

The brothers told her that they had tasked Crowley with getting the First Blade, and Amriel was a little worried by how much trust they put in the King of Hell. She texted Cas, letting him know what was going on, and he had told her that he would be back at the bunker momentarily.

When he walked through the door, he asked, "The First Blade is back in play and Crowley is the one getting it?"

Amriel glanced up from Metatron's phone and Sam looked surprised, both by Castiel and the fact that the blonde hadn't moved an inch.

"I don't mean to be an alarmist but you-" Cas was cut off when Dean came in from the library, holding a beer.

"Yeah, well you know us. When we screw ourselves, we like to go whole hog."

Amriel vaguely listened to them go back and forth about the blade and Claire while she snooped through Metatron's phone, finding about a dozen selfies, some text notes about recent movies he had seen and why they were flawed.

Cas had asked Dean if he would talk to Claire, and surprisingly the Winchester agreed to it. When Dean left the room, Cas commented about how calm he seemed, considering the effects of the Mark and how close Metatron was.

"He's too calm," Sam said. "I think he's worried about what happens if he pops the cork."

Amriel tilted her head in confusion as she worked out his choice of words, frowning at the thought of Dean losing it and going on another killing spree.

* * *

"Hey Cas," Amriel said, peeking into the library to find him sitting in a chair and reading a book. "I've been looking for you."

"Oh? Why?" he asked, placing a marker in to hold his place as he closed the book and set it aside. "I've been right here for the past hour or two."

"I don't like being away from you for too long," she shrugged as she sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Even being a few rooms apart feels like miles."

"I know the feeling," Cas answered, snaking an arm around her waist while the other cupped her cheek. "I think we should go out looking for Claire soon, though."

"Cas…" she sighed, leaning her forehead against his, looking into his impossibly blue eyes. "I know you want to help her, but sometimes being overbearing isn't the answer. Maybe let her cool off for the night, and go look for her in the morning."

Sam poked his head in through the doorway, interrupting the angels and asking if they had seen Dean anywhere. The pair shook their heads, and exchanged a look before Amriel hopped off of Cas and pulled him up, taking off for the dungeon Metatron was being held in.

They got to the door only to find it locked, but they could hear the muffled sounds of Dean punching Metatron.

"Dean!" Sam called, knocking on the door.

" _What is the next step in removing this Mark from my arm?"_  Dean's voice filtered through the door, and Amriel couldn't even imagine what he was doing in there.

"Dean, open the door!" Sam shouted as he continued to bang on the door.

Amriel could hear Dean asking Metaron for the next step in removing the Mark over and over, and she realized that things weren't going to end well if this continued any longer. She shot a quick glance to Cas over her shoulder, narrowing her gaze and mouthing for him to step aside.

"Sam, move," Amriel told him in a firm voice, trying to ignore the look of confusion that crossed his face as he turned to look at her. He stood there, dumbfounded, and the blonde rolled her eyes, moving him with a flick of her wrist before turning her focus back to the door. She focused on the door and sent a push of energy towards it, watching it shatter.

Sam rushed in, and she and Cas followed quickly, watching as Sam pulled Dean, who was holding an angel blade, away from Metatron. Castiel checked on the scribe, watching as his wounds slowly began to heal.

"You were killing him," Sam yelled at his brother, and Amriel placed herself in the middle of the pairs, her blade in her hand, ready to defend if she needed to.

"I have to take him back," Cas said suddenly, and Amriel nodded in agreement.

"Cas, this won't happen again," Sam said in an attempt to get him to keep Metatron there.

"I gave my word," Castiel snapped. "I have fences to mend in Heaven, and as it is, I have a lot to explain."

"If you  _ever_  ask me for help again, I will choose death," Metatron breathed, "You realize you're going to get worse, Dean. You're only gonna get worse!"

Amriel watched as Cas untied Metatron from the chair and dragged him out of the room, and she followed them up the stairs and out to the Lincoln.

"I want you to stay here," Cas told her once Metatron had been secured in the car. "Please, keep an eye on Dean. He- he's out of control."

"Cas, if he tries something, I won't hesitate to immobilize him in any way I can," she answered truthfully, making sure he knew what she was willing to do to keep Sam and herself safe.

"I understand," he nodded, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out the car keys. "Do what you need to do if a situation arises."

Castiel leaned in and kissed her quickly, interrupted by Metatron making fake barfing sounds.

"Get a room," Metatron rasped, and Amriel merely grinned up at Cas, who was rolling his eyes.

She grabbed the lapels of his trench coat, pulling him down and kissing him hard, making sure the scribe got an eyeful as she slipped her tongue into Cas' mouth for a few seconds before she let him go.

"I was hoping for a quiet ride, but you just ensured that he'll talk the entire way," Cas sighed, and Amriel merely shrugged and told him to drive safe.

She watched the Lincoln take off, and once it was out of her sight she returned to the bunker to find the brothers in the library.

Dean was sitting at the table, his head in his hands as Sam leaned against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Did Cas leave with Metatron?" Dean asked as she sat down across from him.

"Yes," she answered, trying to keep him from seeing how much his actions affected her. "I decided to skip the ride, though. The scribe talks too much for my taste."

"More like Cas told you to babysit me," Dean scoffed, ignoring the way her gaze narrowed at him in annoyance.

"To make sure you don't attempt to make any more fatal mistakes," Amriel hissed, "You were going to kill him."

"So what? Metatron is the reason you fell from Heaven! Don't you want him dead for what he did to you and every other angel?" Dean asked, looking up at her as he rested his chin on his hand.

"No. I want him to pay for what he's done, but not with his life," she shook her head. "So many angels have died…"

Amriel trailed off, feeling the loss of her fellow angels and frowning.

"He said the river ends at the source," Dean finally said.

"What does that mean?" Sam asked, and Amriel furrowed her brows in thought.

"Maybe nothing. It was the last thing he said before you guys busted in."

"Dean- Look, man, we had to…" Sam started, but his brother shook his head.

"Hey, no. I get it, all right. I- I was gonna kill him, and I couldn't stop myself," Dean admitted.

Amriel looked between the brothers, feeling like she was intruding on them.

"We'll figure it out, all right? You know what Cas said about needing a powerful force? I've been thinking. Cain still has the Mark, right?" Sam asked, and Dean nodded. "He's lived with it. For years, he's lived with it. So yeah, the Mark is strong but - Dean, maybe there's a part of you that wants to give in to it. And maybe you have to fight that, you know? Maybe part of that powerful force has to be you."

The blonde listened to Sam, and as Dean's phone went off and he picked it up, she thought about Sam's idea. Maybe he was right. Dean controlling himself and fighting against the Mark would only be part of the battle, but if he did, the hold the Mark had over him could be a bit more manageable.

Dean got off the phone, saying that it had been Claire that called. She wanted to meet him and talk at a campground site a few miles away.

Once he had left, Sam and Amriel had a couple beers and played cards until Cas returned. Sam looked between the angels and quickly made an excuse to leave the library, saying something about needing to do the dishes before going to bed.

"How angry were they when you returned Metatron?" Amriel asked, shuffling the deck of cards out of habit.

Cas heaved a sigh and sat beside her, rubbing his face with his palms as he said that they weren't thrilled.

"They were surprised I brought him back alive. He will heal with time, but I'm not going to be asking for any favors in the near future."

"Well at least they didn't try and detain you," Amriel said with a shrug. "I didn't really feel like going up there to retrieve you from them."

* * *

Cas was wide awake as Amriel laid fast asleep beside him. Dean had come back as they were getting ready to go to bed, and he had told them that Claire had essentially lured him to a campground so two people could try and hurt him. He had considered killing them, but in the end he merely scared them off and left.

Staring at the ceiling, Cas could feel Claire's longing to speak to him. She wasn't quite praying to him, but he knew she was thinking about him, and she wasn't too far away from the bunker.

It was nearly 9 a.m.- the pair had decided to sleep in after the tiring day they had, but Castiel wanted nothing more than to go find Claire and talk to her.

"Cas, I can practically hear you thinking," Amriel mumbled, rolling over and looking up at him. "What's up?"

"I can feel Claire calling out to me, whether she realizes it or not, I don't know. She isn't far… I'm going to go speak with her," he answered, and the blonde nodded in understanding.

"Do what you have to do. Want me to come with?"

Cas shook his head, pressing a kiss to her temple and telling her to stay in bed.

"You deserve the rest after putting up with Metatron and the Winchesters yesterday," he said as he got up and started to get dressed.

Amriel watched him pull off his t-shirt and put on a clean one, feeling her heartbeat speed up a little bit at the sight of his exposed skin. She would never get used to the physical effects Cas had on her.

"If you insist," she said with a yawn, rolling over onto her side and fluffing up her pillow. "I'll be here when you get back."

* * *

Cas followed his intuition as he drove along the road, and eventually he spotted Claire. Slowing down to a coast, he unrolled his window and called out her name.

"How the hell did you find me?" she asked, a look of confusion on her face.

"Angels are able to find those who pray to them," Cas answered with a small shrug.

"Pray?" Claire laughed, "Oh, believe me, I gave up praying a long time ago."

"Well, it doesn't have to be a formal prayer. I could pick up on a - a longing," he tried to explain. "Perhaps you wanted to tell me something?"

"No," she snapped, then stopped walking. "I don't know… Maybe."

Cas turned off the engine and got out of the car, approaching her slowly as she tried to sort out what she was trying to say.

"I guess I just wanted to tell you that I- I thought about what you said. I'm gonna try doing things a little bit different. Let go of the little bit of monster in me," she finally said.

"Well, I could try to help you with that," he offered, but she shook her head.

"I still gotta go it alone," Claire answered, but smiled slightly. "But I could maybe call sometime? Just to talk or whatever. Now get out of here, would you? No one's gonna pick me up with that butt-ugly car sitting there."

"I'll see you, Claire," Cas told her with a nod, heading back around the front of the car.

"Oh, hey," Claire said, stopping him. "Not that you care, but I like you better in a tie."

Cas shot her a smile and got in the car, heading back to the bunker.


	38. Recovered

It had been a couple of weeks since Cas and Amriel left the bunker, following leads in an attempt to track down Cain. Sam would call and check in with information for them to follow up on, but they seemed to be closing in on him.

"Castiel, I don't think Cain is on a riverboat," Amriel said with a raised eyebrow as she looked around the vessel they had just boarded.

She looked around the casino, taking in the lights and sounds of slot machines and people gambling at the tables. The room was smoke-filled, and she coughed a little as she peered through the haziness.

"We've been following leads for weeks, perhaps we deserve a small break," he answered with a smile.

"I- I don't think that a break is a good idea," Amriel shook her head, watching Cas frown in response. "Normally I would totally agree, but you're running on a  _borrowed_  grace. We don't have a lot of time…"

Castiel cut her off with a kiss before handing her a beer and taking her free hand as he led her to the slot machines.

"I understand your concerns, but this is something we need to do." He handed Amriel a $20 and motioned towards the machines, "I'm going to take a look around. Play one of the games in this area and I'll find you when I'm done."

The blonde huffed, taking the bill and sending him a slight glare. Before she could tell him that she wasn't thrilled, he had disappeared into the crowd of people.

Amriel frowned momentarily and turned around to look at the slot machines. She looked for one to play, noticing that each one seemed to have a different theme. There were ones with fruits, butterflies, dragons, scantily clad women, and more. Amriel spotted one that had chili peppers, and smiled as she remembered the first time she had tried spicy food with Cas.

She sat at the machine, setting her beer down and inserting the money Cas had given her, reading the instructions for how to play. After placing her bet, she pressed a button and watched the images spin, ending up on two chili peppers and a sun. Her total increased slightly, and Amriel smiled brightly when she realized she had won.

Amriel had no idea how much time had passed as she played, but her total had fluctuated, changing drastically as she almost lost everything. When Cas returned, she had won over $3,000.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, and Amriel nodded as she pressed a button that said  _cash out_.

"Yeah, I just have to redeem my winnings," she smiled, grabbing the ticket that printed from the machine.

When Amriel received the stack of money, she turned to Cas and grinned brightly, "We can have a little fun with this."

* * *

The angels continued to travel after their day on the riverboat, following any and all leads that Sam had sent their way.

Castiel had been keeping Amriel out of a lot of the dirty work, sending her on trips to local libraries for research while he handled demon interrogations. He knew that she was averse to torture after what Urim had done to her, and he didn't blame her whatsoever.

He had come across Cain in a wooded area, surrounded by fresh graves. They had spoken briefly, Cas asking why he had started killing again, only to be told that Cain had to take up arms again with Abaddon's army coming after him. He had killed demons, and Cas wanted to know why. Cain had told him that there was no cure, and not to worry about Dean.

 _"I'll get to him in due time,"_ Cain had told him before he had disappeared, and the frustrated angel had returned to the motel where he promptly told Amriel it was time to go.

They returned to the bunker, and Cas had told them exactly what Cain had told him. Sam and Dean found a lead on Cain's next victim, a 12-year-old boy, and the four got to him as fast as they could. Crowley had shown up, helping them trick Cain so they could trap him.

It had taken a lot, but Dean killed Cain and given the First Blade to Cas. He and Amriel hid it in one of the most remote locations they could find before meeting the brothers back at the bunker.

* * *

Things at the bunker had been odd, Amriel noticed as the days went by. Dean was putting on a good front, but she could hear him waking up from nightmares at all hours of the night, yelling for his brother.

The pair of angels had gone out for lunch just to give the Winchesters some space and have time to themselves, since they had been at the bunker for a while now.

"Cas, I'm worried about Dean," Amriel said as she picked at her onion rings. "He's not getting enough sleep…"

"I'm aware, I hear him too. Look, Sam wants us to meet him at some coordinates he's sent me," Castiel explained, his voice lowering as he leaned forward and continued, "We've run out of options when it comes to the Mark, and he wants… He wants to get Metatron."

"N-no, Castiel," she shook her head. "Do you remember what happened the last time you had him in your custody?"

"Of course I remember," Cas snapped, his tone immediately softening, "This time, Dean won't be involved."

* * *

The attempt to retrieve Metatron from Heaven had been futile. Hannah had met Sam and the pair of angels at the portal, asking Castiel if his grace was fading. When she discovered that they wanted to speak with Metatron, she denied their request.

After Hannah had returned to Heaven, Sam had introduced a plan "B", which included meeting up with a psychic and enlisting the help of Bobby Singer to break Metatron out. Cas had gone back to Heaven to help, leaving Amriel with Sam, telling her it was too dangerous for the both of them to go.

They reconvened in the playground outside of Heaven's door, where Castiel took Metatron's grace and Sam shot him in the leg, making him unable to escape them.

Metatron revealed that there was nothing in the Angel or Demon Tablets about the Mark of Cain, and Sam was ready to kill him when he told them that Castiel's grace wasn't gone, and that he'd take him to it.

Amriel had wanted to go with them, just in case Metatron tried something or attempted to get away, but Cas made it clear that this was something he had to do on his own. They bickered about it briefly, but Amriel knew he wasn't going to back down.

So of course, she had let him go. She stayed at the bunker with Sam and Dean, helping them research some case they had been consulting on for another hunter.

Sam's phone rang as he and Amriel were sitting in the library, and he answered it when he realized it was Cas, setting it on speakerphone and putting it down on the table.

"Cas?" Sam asked, and Amriel looked up from her laptop with a small smile.

 _"Can I just kill him now?"_ Cas' voice rang out through the library and the blonde held back a laugh.

 _"You know I can hear you, right?"_ Metatron asked, and Sam rolled his eyes.

"No, we need him alive for now," Sam sighed. "Look, after you get your Grace back, you can do whatever you want with him."

 _"Well I'd like to kill him slowly,"_ Cas said seriously, and Amriel heard Metatron in the background saying, " _I am like_ two feet  _away from you."_

Cas asked if they had found anything on the Mark of Cain, and Amriel could tell he was disappointed when Sam told him that they hadn't.

Amriel heard Metatron asking about her on the other end of the line, and she narrowed her gaze at the phone. Then she heard Metatron yelp in pain, and Castiel's voice telling him to keep his mouth shut.

 _"Just.. Just keep digging,"_  Cas finally said, and Dean walked into the library.

"Yeah, uh, no one here by that name. Sorry," Sam quickly hung up, trying to hide his surprise covering his face.

Amriel half-listened to the brothers as they talked about the Mark being a curse, but it piqued her interest when Dean had said that the Mark was an actual curse, and that Crowley had found out about it from the witch Rowena, who had in turn told Dean. The older Winchester also told them that Rowena was Crowley's mother, which surprised both Sam and Amriel.

Sam's phone rang and Dean had answered it, and the men were surprised to hear a female voice on the line.

"Charlie?" Dean had asked, and Amriel's eyes widened in surprise. She had heard Sam talk about her before, and understood that she was a good friend of the Winchesters.

As Amriel listened to the phone call she found herself wanting to help this woman. Charlie had told Dean she had been shot, but stitched herself up with  _dental floss_. Amriel knew that wasn't the item's intended use, but that thought was quickly pushed aside when she heard Charlie say she had found the Book of the Damned, and that she thought she could get the Mark off of Dean.

Sam asked Charlie where she was, and said that they would meet her as soon as they could.

Amriel watched the brothers packing files and books, preparing to leave for Iowa to meet Charlie.

"I want to come with you guys," Amriel finally said, apparently catching Sam off guard judging by the way he flinched.

"Amriel," Sam started, and she could see the conflict clear on his face. "I was actually going to ask if you could stay here and help out on the case we were working on for Garth. It's just answering the phone and helping with any questions he may have. He's still kinda new to the hunting scene."

A pang of disappointment ran through her and she stared down at the table, trying not to let it show. She wanted to put up a fight, but she knew it would be useless. The Winchesters were stubborn men, and if they didn't want her coming along, then she wasn't going to push it.

"Fine," she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest and tucking into herself. Amriel was annoyed with Sam for keeping her out of things and she missed having Cas around. She didn't like being alone for long periods of time whatsoever. It reminded her of when she first took her vessel after the Fall and felt nothing but loneliness.

"Elle-" Sam tried, but she shook her head and cut him off.

"I don't want any excuses, Sam. I'll stay here like you asked."

Amriel got up from her seat and left the library, heading through the bunker and into the kitchen. She didn't want to argue with her charge, so she just removed herself from the situation. The blonde grabbed a beer from the fridge and opened it, downing it quickly. She knew that it wouldn't help her feel any better and that she'd need more than what was in the fridge to actually get drunk, but she didn't know what else to do.

Leaning against the counter, Amriel closed her eyes and told herself she could be doing more productive things than getting drunk. There were so many people she could be helping during her time on Earth, and she had been so caught up with the Winchesters and their problems that she had pushed that to the back of her mind.

When she was in Heaven, Amriel had a purpose. She diligently watched and protected the children of May, but since the Fall, it seemed like she had forgotten her duties. Amriel thought back to the fair she and Cas had gone to, and how she had helped Paige's family by curing her brother's tumor.

"I need a car," she said to herself, deciding that she was going to start helping humans like Davey. "Dean?"

Amriel wandered around the bunker, looking for the eldest Winchester only to find him in the garage, shining up the Impala.

"Hello Dean," Amriel started carefully, knowing how much he adored his car. "I need a vehicle."

Dean looked up from the car's black surface, his gaze narrowed as he threw a rag over his shoulder, "No way, Blondie."

"Sam won't let me come with you to meet up with Charlie, and Cas is off dealing with Metatron, leaving me here with nothing to do," she huffed, feeling like the petulant teenagers she saw on television. "If I'm going to be stuck here, I want access to a car. I'm not going to  _walk_  everywhere."

"Why don't you use those wings of yours-" Dean cut himself off when Amriel glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You know exactly why I can't, Dean," Amriel focused her energy and forced the lighting in the garage to flicker so he could catch a glimpse of the shadow of her wings, which she had spread out behind her in an attempt to remind him just how powerful she was.

"Alright, alright, no need to brag," he waved her off as he walked to a workbench that had dozens of sets of keys to the many cars in the bunker's garage. After looking at the keys for a few moments, Dean finally grabbed a set and tossed them to her with a smirk. "Take the Thunderbird, it's the third one down on the left."

"Thanks, Dean," she smiled, not catching his joke, and pocketed the keys before heading over to the car to take a look at what she was going to be driving before returning to her room to find a hospital she could visit.

* * *

"Hi, my name is Amy and I wanted to inquire about your volunteer program?" Amriel said with a polite smile as she spoke to the receptionist at a hospital about two hours away from the bunker.

Amriel filled out a basic information sheet that she filled out with fabricated names and addresses, and once that was done she was taken to meet the other three volunteers and they were all given a tour of the pediatric cancer ward.

The blonde looked around at all of the children, taking in their smiling faces and admiring just how strong they truly were. The volunteer coordinator introduced Amriel to a young boy named Hank, and once she was seated next to him at a small table covered in coloring books and crayons, the coordinator flitted off to pair another volunteer.

"Hi Hank, I'm Amy," she introduced herself. "How old are you?"

"I'm 11," Hank answered softly, "How old are  _you_?"

"Wanna guess?" Amriel asked, raising an eyebrow as he grabbed an orange crayon off of the table.

"Uhh, five thousand?" he told her with a shrug, and the angel smiled brightly.

"Close! I'm 24," she lied, wishing she could tell him that she was really as old as time itself. "So, why don't you tell me about yourself. What do you like to do?"

Amriel listened intently as Hank told her all about his family- his parents, his two older sisters, and their cat named  _Tater Tot_. He told her about how he was missing a lot of school, and how a tutor came a few times a week to teach him and the other kids.

"I really miss recess with my friends," Hank sighed, staring down at his drawing and Amriel felt an ache in her chest. She had to help these kids. That's why she was here. That's why she  _existed_.

"I'm sure you'll get back to your friends soon," Amriel told him, setting her hand on his shoulder gently, focusing all of her grace on healing him as quickly and discreetly as possible.

A little girl named Sadie came up to them, tugging at Hank's shirt and asking if she could color too.

"Of course you can," Amriel answered for the boy, pulling out the seat beside her and smiling as the little brunette sat down.

Amriel talked with each of the kids, making sure she made some sort of physical contact with them, whether it was a small pat on the back or a hug, so she could heal them one by one.

She felt a small sense of accomplishment after she told the kids goodbye, hugging him for a little bit longer than the others as she promised they would keep in touch. She had given him the address to Sam's P.O. Box so he could write to her if he wanted, and told him that she would always write him back.

After saying bye to the other volunteers and the coordinator, she left the hospital and got into the car Dean had let her borrow, checking her phone for the first time in hours to find a text from Cas.

_I lost Metatron but gained something very important. I'm heading back to the bunker._

Checking the timestamp, Amriel figured that he was either at the bunker or almost there by now, so she texted him back saying she was on her way before starting the car and taking off.

* * *

Something felt different when Amriel walked into the bunker two and a half hours later. There was a presence that she recognized, but couldn't pin down how. She heard Sam and Cas talking, then a woman's voice that she knew she had heard before. That must've been Charlie.

Amriel headed down the stairs tentatively, following the voices until she found the three in the war room. The woman was a taller redhead, who was standing at the table and saying to Cas, "I heard you got your mojo back."

The angel immediately turned her focus to Castiel, now knowing where she knew that presence from. It was his grace.

"Cas," she gasped, unintentionally turning everyone's focus onto herself. "It's really your grace, I can see it…"

" _You're_  Amriel?" the redhead blurted out, turning to Sam, "You didn't tell me she was hot!"

Amriel didn't acknowledge Charlie or Sam as she approached Cas and gently took his chin between her thumb and forefinger, feeling a jolt of energy run through her at the contact. She tilted his head up and down, then side to side, checking to make sure he was okay.

"How do you feel?" she asked, trailing her fingers up and along his jaw, into his hair, watching his eyes soften and his shoulders slump a little.

"You weren't kidding when you said they were disgustingly cute together," Charlie's voice filled the silence as Amriel waited for Cas to answer her, and she stared up at him expectantly, prepared to ignore everyone until he answered her.

"I feel like myself," he finally said, and Amriel smiled, wrapping her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest.

"Sam, this is actually disgusting. I think I'm gonna throw up," Charlie fake-gagged, and Amriel disentangled herself from Cas so she could introduce herself.

"Hi," she greeted awkwardly, holding out her hand, "I'm Amriel, which I guess you already knew… Uh- Sam's told me a lot about you."

"A handshake? No way. You get a hug," Charlie pulled the shorter girl in for a warm embrace. "I know you're a great, sentient, all powerful being and junk, and have this weird, intense relationship with Cas, but if you ever want to have an encounter with someone the same gender as your vessel, feel free to give me a call."

"Charlie!" Sam hissed, but Amriel laughed and shook her head, saying that she'd keep her in mind.

"Well, as Elle pointed out, my grace has been restored," Cas told them, flinching when Charlie squealed in delight at his use of the nickname.

"So, can't you just.. You know.. Cure Dean?" Charlie asked, and Amriel shook her head.

"It isn't that simple," she told the redhead. "The Mark isn't an illness or injury."

"Oh. Never is, is it? Do you think one of you could do anything about my carpal tunnel?" Charlie raised her wrist, shaking her brace-covered arm at the two angels.

Cas placed two fingers on her forehead, and Amriel saw his grace at work. She was absolutely mesmerized by the sight of him, and warmth filled her from head to toe.

"Is that it?" Charlie asked, flexing her fingers as she stared down at her hand.

"Your carpal tunnel and your bullet wound are now healed," Cas told her with a small smile. "You may want to continue wearing your wrist brace at night, though."

"Did we just become best friends?" Charlie beamed up at him, and Amriel smiled at the enthusiasm she radiated.

Dean came in with a few boxes of pizza in his arms, and Amriel caught him doing a double take at Cas.

"Hey, look who decided to show! So, you're back? 100 percent? How did that happen?" Dean asked as he set the boxes on the table.

"Um, it was Hannah," Cas told the older Winchester. "She managed to get the location of the remainder of my grace out of Metatron."

Amriel furrowed her brows, watching Cas stuff his hands in his coat pockets as he avoided making eye contact with Dean— an obvious sign that he was telling a lie. Why was he lying? How had he  _really_  gotten his grace back?

"Awesome," Dean gave a rare smile. "I told you we were due for a win. Good to have you back, pal. Plus Blondie over here was going stir crazy without you. She practically threatened me to let her take a car out. Flashed her wings and everything."

"I did no such thing!" Amriel yelped, feeling her cheeks turn bright red. "I didn't want to be alone without transportation."

Dean rolled his eyes and muttered a "sure, sure" as he sat down and opened up the pizza, grabbing a slice. Sam came in with two six packs of beer, opening one for everyone and passing them around.

They were all sitting around and talking, Amriel sitting close to Cas as she talked with Charlie, asking her questions about computers and television shows she had been watching.

"So how does this Smoke Monster exist? There were so many strange things on that island, none of it totally made sense" Amriel asked the redhead, who had been going through plot holes in  _Lost_  for the last thirty minutes.

"Oh girl. The Smoke Monster represents all of the evil in the world, and he's being trapped on the island by Jacob, who is pure light. Kinda like you," Charlie winked, making Amriel laugh.

Amriel didn't even notice the obvious tension between the brothers until Sam brought out the Book of the Damned, and she quickly realized that this would probably escalate, so she grabbed Cas' hand and told everyone that they were going to get some air.

She practically dragged Cas out of the bunker, taking a deep breath as soon as the door closed behind them. She spun on her heel, turning to face Castiel and smiling up at him, "You're so bright. It's beautiful."

Watching the moonlight reflect in his eyes, Amriel leaned up and pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips, tugging at the lapel of his trench coat and sighing as she leaned her head against his chest.

"Why did you lie to Dean about how you got your grace back?" she finally asked, not looking up at him but imagining a look of surprise on his face.

"What makes you think I lied?" he answered, and Amriel could feel his deep voice rumbling against her cheek.

"You think I can't tell when you're lying?" Amriel frowned, "It was all over your face and your presence. Just tell me, how did you get it back?"

Cas gave in and told her about how he and Metatron had encountered an angry cupid, and how Metatron had actually saved him from being killed. She listened as he told her about the library, torturing Metatron, and how Metatron had drawn sigils and activated them in an attempt to kill him.

"So Metatron took the Demon Tablet, but I found my grace in a copy of  _Don Quixote_. I wish I had been able to stop him, but I knew you wouldn't be happy if I died," he said with a small chuckle.

"Not funny, but I'll let it slide. I'm just happy you're here with me, with  _your_  grace and not someone else's. We'll deal with Metatron some other time," Amriel shrugged. "In the meantime, I'm just going to stand here and revel in the fact that you're at full capacity, which I haven't seen in a  _very_  long time. I'm looking forward to getting acquainted with this new you."

She wasn't lying- she hadn't seen Cas with his own grace since before the Fall. She only really knew him as a human, or with stolen graces. This was entirely new for her, and she wondered if it was new or different for him.

"You said that I was  _bright_ ," he finally said, wrapping his fingers around her upper arms and pushing her back a little bit so they could make eye contact. "I didn't notice it before, with those other graces, but you are so luminous and radiant. It's like nothing I've ever seen before."

Amriel grinned, taking his hands and lacing their fingers together, squeezing gently as she said, "It's overwhelming, isn't it?"

"It is, but it's exciting," he smiled in return, leaning in and pressing a kiss to her lips.

After a few more kisses, Amriel asked if he wanted to go to bed.

"You know I don't require sleep anymore, Elle," Cas told her, making her roll her eyes and kiss his jaw in response.

"Did I say we were gonna sleep?" she breathed against his neck, letting go of his hands and running her fingers under his coat and jacket, playing with the buttons of his white shirt.

She felt him take a sharp breath when he realized what she meant, laughing when he said, "Oh… Yes, let's go to bed then."

"C'mon, Cas," Amriel laughed again, taking his hand and leading him back into the bunker to their shared room.

* * *

The pair were curled up together, a tangle of sheets and naked limbs, talking quietly at 5 a.m., sharing stories of their time in Heaven. They had eons of memories between them and it would probably take eons more to share them all with one another. But in the meantime, Amriel was perfectly content lying on Cas' chest, her head tucked under his chin as she traced Enochian on his lower stomach.

"I wish I had known you better in Heaven," she sighed. "I only ever heard of your victories in battle or how successful your garrison was. You were revered, and all some angels could talk about at times."

Amriel felt his fingers that had been trailing along her back stop, and she wondered if she had said something wrong. She shifted so she was looking at Cas now, and noticed that he was staring at the ceiling in an attempt to avoid eye contact with her.

"Cas, I-" she started, but he cut her off, cupping her cheek with his free hand, his thumb grazing her lips.

"I wasn't deserving of that attention. I was ruthless and did whatever my superiors asked of me, because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I've killed so many angels and done terrible things," he said with a sigh. "I'm glad you didn't see much of me like that."

They were silent for a few moments, letting it sink in that they were totally different since coming to Earth.

"Do you know what I heard about you throughout the eons?" Cas asked, his thumb still tracing the outline of her lips as she nodded. "You were an exemplary guardian. If anything, you were  _too_  good. I know you fought for my side against Raphael in the most recent civil war, even though you had never participated in any war before."

"I told you before, after I saw you being disciplined for helping the Winchesters, something changed. Seeing other angels doing things that  _they_  thought was right rather than what they were told, I couldn't stand by and let Raphael stifle free will," Amriel explained. "I didn't like being punished for questioning my superiors, and when the war started, I saw a chance to help change things."

"You're magnificent," he mumbled, twirling a strand of her golden hair with his fingers. "I don't know what I've done to deserve having you in my life."

Amriel moved so she was sitting up, using the sheet to cover her chest as she did so, and took his free hand in both of hers, a small smile on her lips.

"Something tells me that we were made for one another, from Sam's research, to Metatron, Crowley, and God's comments, and the fact that right now, your grace is the brightest I've ever seen," she told him. "I really think that means something."

She remembered how her grace had been so averse to the ones he had borrowed, but now she felt it wanting to be near him at all times, trying to reach out to his. It was such a strange feeling, having to control her grace and essentially keep it to herself.

Cas trailed his fingers up and down her arm, electricity following as a shiver ran down her spine.

"You're too much sometimes," Amriel grinned, leaning down and kissing him quickly, only to be pulled back down when she tried to sit up. "Cas!"

He wrapped an arm around her waist, settling her against him and resting his chin atop hers again, "Let's take a trip, just us. No hunting, no Demon Tablet, no Heaven. We'll go wherever you want."

Amriel wondered where this was coming from- he was usually so set on keeping focus on their tasks and only went along with her requests for small trips grudgingly.

"Why do you want to go somewhere?" she asked, curiosity filling her voice as she stared down at his chest and traced patterns on his stomach again.

"Now that I have my grace back, I don't want to take it for granted. I want to spend time with you without having to worry about demons or helping the Winchesters with their minuscule requests.  _You_  are what's most important to me," he explained, and Amriel felt her chest tighten as tears welled up in her eyes, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of love she felt for him in that moment.

"I'd really like that," Amriel answered softly, wiping up the tears that had started to spill.

The pair laid like that for a few more hours until the sounds of footsteps and hushed voices filled the bunker, and once they heard pans and dishes clattering in the kitchen they decided to get up and get ready for the day.


	39. Searching

"I think Charlie finds you attractive," Castiel said as he and Amriel strolled through Frank Lloyd Wright's Allen House in Wichita. After telling the Winchesters they needed a little time to themselves, the angels drove the three hours to spend a few days together.

"So? Is that a big deal?" the blonde asked, peering out of one of the windows in the living room. "Are you worried I find her attractive too? She  _is_  very pretty..."

"No, it was just an observation. You two get along well," he answered, "I think it's good for you to have a friend."

Amriel knew where this was going and didn't want to talk about it at all, let alone in the beautiful house they were touring through.

"Now isn't the time to talk about Marissa, Cas. We aren't friends anymore, and that's okay with me," she sighed.

"Are you not upset at all? You were close with her," he tried again, touching Amriel's back lightly and turning her to face him.

"I was when it happened, but time went on and I got over it," the blonde shrugged. "She has her life, I have mine, and they don't overlap anymore. That's really all there is."

Done with the conversation, Amriel moved away from the windows to continue their tour. The prairie style home was gorgeous, and she was enthralled with the decor. Before coming to Wichita, Amriel had been reading up on the architect and learned that he had designed the furniture as well.

"Did you know there are other Wright houses we can visit across the country?" Amriel asked as they left the house to go to lunch.

"Yes, I think that was mentioned somewhere on the tour," Cas nodded once they were in the car. "Let's look them up later and add them to the list."

Amriel grinned, leaning over in her seat and pressing a kiss to his cheek, "That sounds good to me. I think I read that there's one in Arizona- I'd love to see the desert."

"We'll go wherever you want," Cas said with a smile. "Now that I have my grace back we don't have to worry about time."

"I'm glad you found it, you know. I hated worrying about your wellbeing, especially with how stubborn you are," she said, shooting him a pointed glance before pitching her voice as low as she could to imitate him, "' _Let me die, Elle. It's my decision even though I know it will devastate you if I cease to exist.'_ "

"I  _don't_  sound like that," he mumbled, but Amriel could see his lips twitching up in a small smile.

* * *

On their third day in Wichita, the angels spent the morning at  _Botanica_ , a huge garden with koi ponds and a butterfly house. Their previous day had been full of museums, so they wanted to spend some time outside.

"Cas, there's a butterfly in your hair," Amriel gasped, turning him so she could get a closer look at the tiny creature that had landed in his dark strands. "It's so amazing how a caterpillar turns into something so pretty."

"It is, isn't it?" Cas agreed, watching other butterflies fly around the garden lazily, moving pollen along with them.

Castiel's phone rang, and the butterfly quickly flew off when he answered it. Amriel couldn't tell who was on the phone, but judging by the seriousness in his voice, it wasn't a Winchester.

She heard him mention Claire's name, and she immediately tuned in to what he was saying as he wrapped up the call with someone he had addressed as 'officer'.

"What's going on?" Amriel asked, remembering how their Chicago trip had been interrupted by a call that involved Claire. "Is she okay?"

"That was a hospital in Tulsa. Claire's there- she was found unconscious behind a bar last night, and police found my number in her emergency contact list," he explained, and Amriel was rummaging around in her bag for the car keys.

"Let's go get our stuff from the motel, check out, and get on the road," she said as she pulled the keys out from the bottom of her purse.

Amriel called Sam during their drive and asked him to bring Dean to meet them at the Tulsa Memorial Hospital, telling him that something had happened to Claire. Sam agreed, saying that they would meet them as soon as possible.

It only took a few hours to get to the hospital, and Amriel watched as Cas paced in front of the building, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Come on, we have to go inside and see her sometime," she told him, "I'll be with you, there's nothing to worry about…"

"I- I would just rather wait for Sam and Dean. They'll be better equipped to talk to her than you or I would be," Cas explained as the Impala rolled around the corner and pulled up in front of the hospital.

The Winchesters got out of the car simultaneously, and Amriel wondered if they practiced that as they approached.

"Thanks for coming," Cas greeted, nodding at the brothers. Amriel sent them each a nod too as Sam said, "Yeah, of course."

"Cas, look," Dean started, "We're always glad to help, but Claire and I aren't exactly on the best of terms. I mean, should I even be here?"

"I need help from both of you," he told Dean as he looked between him and his brother, "You were both troubled teens. You speak her language."

"All right, so how is she?" Sam asked, and Amriel watched Cas freeze up, unsure of what to say.

"We haven't gone in yet. Cas wanted to wait for backup," she answered for Castiel, earning a grateful look from him.

"Well, let's do this," Dean shrugged and the four of them entered the hospital.

* * *

Claire wasn't happy when the Winchesters and angels showed up in her hospital room, and Amriel didn't blame her. Cas had explained that the police had found his number in the girl's emergency contacts list and asked why she had been at the bar.

The girl was following a lead on her mother, who she hadn't heard from in two years. She had gone to the bar looking for a man named Ronnie Cartwright- Amelia Novak's diary said she was going to meet him around the time she disappeared, and Claire told them that he knew something.

After the four decided that they had to find Amelia, they discovered that Claire had disappeared from the hospital. Amriel suggested that they split up to cover more ground, so she and Sam went to the motel to look for Claire, while Dean and Cas went to the bar to find Ronnie Cartwright.

Sam and Amriel were seated in chairs in Claire's motel room when she walked in, and Amriel had to hold back a smile when Sam said, "Took you long enough."

"How did you…" the girl started, and Amriel held up the postcard.

"Also, you checked in under the name  _Claire Novak_ ," Sam added. "A little pro-tip? Use an alias."

"Okay," she nodded, setting her bag on the bed and flopping down beside it.

"Claire, we just wanna help," Sam tried, but the girl shook her head and said she didn't ask for their help.

The girl dug through her bag while Sam and Amriel looked at the wall that's covered with maps, photos of people, newspaper clippings, and other papers.

"You know, this is good. I'm impressed. How did you get the information that…" Claire tossed a book into Sam's lap, cutting him off in the process.

"It's mostly empty promises and regret, but there were enough breadcrumbs to get me here," she shrugged.

Sam glanced through the book and Amriel watched Claire begin to pack her bags, a small frown on her face. She was a very strong person for a girl her age, and Amriel couldn't imagine the hardships Claire had faced. Amriel was as old as time itself and she had a hard time existing on Earth.

She heard Sam ask Claire if she had checked Amelia's credit cards, and frowned when the girl said that they wouldn't send her the records.

"Okay, I know you need to be somewhere far away from all of us, but let me get my laptop," Sam said as he got up from the chair. "I'll teach you how to hack into her credit card records- it'll help you get a lead on your mom."

"Show me, but then I'm gone," Claire nodded, and the Winchester walked out of the room, leaving the two blondes alone.

"Sam is a very good teacher," Amriel finally spoke, "He'll give you the tools you need to find your mother."

Claire stared at the angel for a moment, her gaze narrowing slightly and making Amriel shift uncomfortably.

"Don't- just don't," Claire snapped. "I don't need your pity. I don't even know why you're here at all."

Amriel felt like she had been slapped across the face. She hadn't expected Claire to like her, but she wasn't prepared for her to be blunt about it.

"I- it isn't pity, Claire. I understand how difficult it is to be alone, and I want nothing more than for you to find your mother," she answered, "I'm not sure how to be of help, but I'll do what I can."

"I know why Castiel is on Earth, but why are you? I thought angels lived in Heaven?" Claire asked as she walked into the bathroom and grabbed her toiletry bag.

"All of the angels were expelled from Heaven at once and we all fell to Earth," Amriel explained. "Many took vessels, some chose to merely exist as multi-dimensional wavelengths of celestial intent, and others died, unable to handle the fall. I acquired a vessel and tried to adjust to human life, but nothing really clicked until I found Castiel, human and working at a gas station."

"He wasn't an angel?!" Claire asked, her brows furrowed in confusion and Amriel shook her head.

Sam came back into the room with his computer and whatever Amriel was going to say was forgotten as the Winchester showed them how to access credit reports and set up fake credit cards.

Dean and Cas had arrived not long after Sam's lesson in fraud, telling them that Ronnie had given them a name. Peter Holloway was allegedly a faith healer, and the next person they needed to check out.

They could be looking for an angel, but Amriel was confused by the fact that it sounded like he healed people but also fed off of others.

She watched intently as Cas walked over to Claire with a gift bag in his hands, and she noticed Dean at the small table behind him, covering his eyes with his hand in embarrassment.

"Claire, um… Happy birthday," Cas said awkwardly as he gave her the bag.

The girl stared at him in confusion as she pulled a plush Grumpy Cat, looking between the stuffed animal and Cas, "Uh…"

"I got it at the Hot Topical," he told her, a proud tone in his voice.

Amriel saw Sam and Dean raise their eyebrows at one another, and she merely smiled at the gesture.

"Right. Um, thanks, I guess," Claire said as she put the cat back in the bag and tossed it onto the bed behind her.

Sam's computer pinged and he announced that he had gotten an alert from the local police that Ronnie's body was found outside of the bar.

"You were just supposed to talk to Ronnie," Claire shot a glare at Dean, "What did you do to him?"

"I didn't lay a hand on him!" Dean said defensively, and Cas cut in, saying, "That isn't exactly true."

"I didn't kill the guy," the older Winchester said as he stood up from the table he had been sitting at, "All right, I'm gonna get suited up and head back over there."

Cas and Claire wanted to go with him, and Amriel knew that four people playing federal agent would be too many, so she decided to stay with Sam and help track down Peter Holloway.

Once Dean had left along with Claire, Amriel stopped Cas and asked him what had happened at the bar with Ronnie.

"Dean snapped," he said with a frown. "He's getting worse."

"Keep an eye on him, okay?" she asked, and once he nodded she sent him a small smile and told him to be safe before sending him on his way.

* * *

That evening, Amriel had been left in charge of Dean and Claire as Sam and Cas went to a farmhouse owned by Peter Holloway, but that hadn't lasted very long. The two humans convinced the angel to go mini-golfing with them.

"Come on, Blondie, you're no fun," Dean said as he handed her a club, setting the orange ball on the fake grass. "Take a swing."

They had been there for nearly an hour and Amriel had merely watched as Dean and Claire quoted  _Caddyshack_  and  _Happy Gilmore_ back and forth, making fun of one another as they did so _._

Amriel rolled her eyes and took the club, lining up her shot and taking a swing, not even bothering to watch as the ball went into the hole. Dean's eyes widened in surprise, and Claire raised an eyebrow at the angel as they continued to the next hole.

"Is this what you guys do?" Claire asked as Dean took a shot. "Stay at cheap motels, steal credit cards… Play mini-golf?"

"Actually, we haven't played mini-golf in a while. But, uh, yeah. That about sums it up," Dean said with a shrug.

"Cas and I go to museums and state parks," Amriel told Claire, "We went to a fair once when he was human… He almost threw up on a roller coaster."

Dean let out a laugh, trying to imagine a green-faced Cas blowing chunks, "I wish I had seen that."

"You would've if you hadn't abandoned him after the angels fell-" Amriel started, immediately stopping herself before she could get riled up. It wouldn't do any good for them to argue.

"Yeah, well, I wish I'd done a lot of things different," Dean frowned, before turning to Claire. "When we're not mini-golfing, we try and help people as best we can."

"Like how Castiel helped my dad?" she mumbled bitterly, and it was Amriel's turn to frown.

"Claire, what happened to your dad… I'm sorry, okay? I really am. But there's something you gotta know," Dean paused and they stopped walking as he turned to face Claire. "Your dad's sacrifice wasn't meaningless. He gave up his body… His vessel. And because he did that, Cas was able to save the world. The  _world_ , Claire. Your father's a hero, and he did not die in vain."

Amriel knew that every word Dean had said was true. She nodded in agreement, knowing that she didn't have anything to add to his statement.

They played the last hole, and Amriel watched curiously as they deposited the ball and golf club into the hole, but the club got stuck. Dean walked towards it, bending down and grabbing the club with a concentrated look on his face.

"You okay? You're not stroking out are you?" Claire asked, turning to Amriel and addressing her for the first time at the mini-golf place. "Is he having a stroke?"

"The red marks… Claire, you're a genius! Let's go," he said suddenly, turning to leave the place with the two blondes following after him.

* * *

They had figured out that it was a Grigori, a watcher angel, that was behind Ronnie's death, and Amriel was furious. How could an angel  _kill_  a human? All three of them went out to the cabin that Sam and Cas were supposed to be checking out after they weren't able to get in contact with them, despite Dean trying to tell Claire to stay behind. Instead, he had given her a handgun and told her not to shoot him.

The three decided to check the barn first, where they ran into Cas. Claire ran past him and into the room, stopping when she found her mother.

Amriel looked Cas over to make sure he was okay- he looked mentally drained, but other than that he seemed fine. They walked back into the room to find Claire hugging Amelia tightly, and Dean told the angels they should go find Sam.

"I'm going to stay here with them," Amriel told them, not wanting to leave the two humans by themselves.

Dean nodded and turned to make his way out of the barn, but Castiel lingered, asking if she was sure she would be alright on her own.

"I'll be fine," she reassured him, "Go help Dean find Sam."

Cas was hesitant, but left to follow Dean. Once he was out of sight, Amriel turned to face Claire and Amelia, watching the girl turn to face her.

"Thank you, seriously," Claire told the angel. "I know I haven't been the best to you, but you still helped me…"

"I'm an angel, Claire, it's what I do," Amriel answered with a small smile, her expression suddenly changing when Amelia collapsed on the dingy cot she had been standing near. "We should get out of here, I don't like confined spaces."

Claire rushed to Amelia and helped her stand, pulling her mother's arm over her shoulders and they started walking, Amriel leading the way with her angel blade drawn.

"Mom, it's gonna be okay," Claire soothed, and Amriel heard Amelia quietly thanking her daughter.

"You know, there's no fixing her, right?" a voice called from in front of them, and before Amriel realized that it was the Grigori, he had flung out his hand and thrown her into a nearby wall.

Claire dropped her mother and pulled out the gun Dean had given her, shooting Holloway four times in the chest, emptying the gun.

"You really think that's gonna hurt an angel of the Lord?" Holloway asked with a laugh, moving to strike Claire, but Amelia jumped between them and was stabbed in the chest.

Amriel recovered from the throw as Cas and the Winchesters came rushing into the barn, and she grabbed Holloway by the back of his jacket, pulling him back from the women and tossing him into a wall.

"Stay away from them! You are an angel, you are not meant to hurt humans!" she seethed, her eyes flashing with warning but the Grigori merely laughed at her. Amriel could hear Claire begging Amelia to stay with her, saying that she was sorry, and she felt her stomach churn.

"You think you're stronger than me?" Holloway chuckled, "You're pathetic!"

Sam and Dean had gotten a few hits in, but were quickly incapacitated, and Cas had been thrown through a wall, leaving Amriel cornered.

She punched Holloway in the side, catching him off guard, and she looked around for her angel blade, but it was nowhere to be seen. Amriel froze, her heart stopping when the Grigori raised his own sword, preparing to stab her.

_This is it_ , she thought, realizing that her existence was going to end in this barn.

The tip of a blade pierced through his chest from behind, and a bright light flooded from the wound and his eyes as Holloway screamed, falling into Amriel, who was pushed back into the wall. She looked up to see that Claire had stabbed him using her angel blade, and the girl nodded at her before running to her mother.

Amriel pushed the body off of her and grabbed her blade, wiping the blood off on the Grigori's jacket and walking over to Claire, kneeling down beside her and setting her hand on Amelia's forehead, feeling for any sign of life.

"Claire, she's with your father now," Amriel said quietly, her heart aching as she realized that the girl was alone in the world.

* * *

It had been hard saying goodbye to Claire the next morning. Sam and Dean had spoken with a woman they knew named Jody Mills, who had helped them out a lot over the years, and she had been more than willing to take the girl in.

Sam had said goodbye to her first, followed by Dean, and then Amriel carefully approached the girl, noticing the stuffed cat Cas had given her sitting in her duffle bag.

"I- I know you don't like me, for being an angel, for being with Castiel while he's in your father's body… I just wanted to thank you, for stopping the Grigori before he could kill me," Amriel blurted out, unable to make eye contact with the young girl. "You are so strong, and have so much to learn in life. It's inspiring."

"It's not a big deal," Claire shrugged, though her cheeks were flushed a pale pink. "You would've done the same thing for me. Just… take care of him, okay? I told Dean the same thing, but he'll actually listen to you. He loves you, in his own weird way."

Amriel laughed, nodding in agreement, "I will, I promise."

She watched Cas approaching them over Claire's shoulder and excused herself from the girl, letting him speak to her privately even though she could still hear them as she stood with Sam.

" _If you need anything, ever, I'm… I just wanted you to know that…"_  she listened as Cas tried to spit the words out, but Claire cut him off with a tight hug, which he had returned immediately, resting his cheek on top of her head and taking a deep breath.

When their hug ended, Claire got into the cab that had been called for her, and as it drove off, Cas asked for someone to tell him that the girl was going to be okay.

"Yeah, Cas. Of course," Sam nodded, "She'll be okay, and so will you."

Amriel took his hand, squeezing gently in reassurance, easily reading the look of uncertainty that was all over his face.

"Everything's going to be okay," she echoed Sam, leaning into Cas and resting her head against his shoulder, feeling relieved when he tilted his head to lean against hers.

"I hope so," he mumbled, and together they watched the cab drive off.


	40. Volatile

"I let her go! She promised me she would be fine! I'm the reason she's dead!" Amriel sobbed, curling into herself as she backed into the wall of Rowena's hideout, sliding down until she was sitting on the floor.

Charlie had been helping them crack the codex of the Book of the Damned so they could try and remove the Mark, and she helped them lie to Dean about it. She had been so close to cracking it, but the pressure had been getting to her. She had convinced Amriel to let her go off on her own, with the reassurance that she could take care of herself and that she would come back.

" _I'm a big girl, Amriel,"_ Charlie's voice rang in her head, " _I just need a few hours to myself. I'll be back before you know it."_

She hadn't come back yet, and Amriel had been worried.

When Sam had come to the hideout, Cas asked where their redheaded friend was, and Sam had merely shaken his head with a pained look on his face.

"I shouldn't have let her go," Amriel mumbled as she buried her face in her knees, shrinking away when Cas knelt before her, setting his hands on her shoulders to try and get her attention. She shrugged his hands off and felt him move away from her, giving her the space she needed.

"What happened?" she heard Castiel ask Sam, but she didn't want to know.

"Me," Sam answered. "The Stynes, um… they caught up with her, and uh, Dean's gone after them."

The Stynes were an ancient family full of magic practitioners that wanted to reclaim the Book of the Damned, and would stop at nothing to retrieve it. That was why they were in some abandoned hideout with Rowena in the first place.

"So he knows?" Cas asked, and Sam answered that he did, and that he was shutting everything down.

"I promised Dean-"

"Er, hello? Anyone want to tell me what's going on?" Rowena interrupted Sam.

Rowena hadn't been easy to work with whatsoever, constantly nitpicking at the angels and trying to dig at their relationship whenever she could.

"No," both Sam and Cas answered.

Castiel offered to kill Rowena before asking what they were going to do about Dean. Sam told them that they should be able to track him.

"What is this?" Sam mumbled, "An email from Charlie?"

Amriel lifted her head up, staring across the room at Sam, who was opening the email.

" _Sam, can't talk now. DL this file!_ " he read aloud, "The file is called Is this what I think it is?"

"Oh, that little minx," Rowena grinned, looking down at the document Sam had downloaded, "She's cracked the code."

Rowena could read the document Charlie had sent, and she could cure the Mark of Cain. Sam told Cas to go find Dean, and that he would stay with Rowena and make sure they had everything they needed to save his brother.

"Amriel, you go with him, okay?" Sam said from the table he was standing at, and the blonde shook her head. She wasn't in any state to to chase after Dean.

Cas was suddenly standing above her, staring down at her with a sad look on his face, "Come on, Elle. Don't make me carry you."

"You wouldn't dare," she hissed, shooting him a glare and trying to shift away from him.

"I will if you don't get up. Now is not the time to test me," Cas said firmly, leaving no room for argument.

Amriel heaved an annoyed sigh and stood up, making sure she bumped her shoulder into his as she walked past him, making her way to the car and getting in the passenger seat, making sure she slammed the door before crossing her arms over her chest.

She was silent for the first ten minutes of their ride, wanting to make him think about how he had treated her, but she was starting to think about Charlie and needed to focus her anger on something else.

"I'm sick of being ordered around, Castiel," she finally said, her voice full of annoyance. "It isn't fair that you and the Winchesters think you all can tell me what to do."

The blonde refused to look at him, but she could tell that Cas wasn't thrilled with her right now. He let out a puff of air through his nose and answered, "We don't order you around, Elle."

"' _Stay here with Dean and Claire,' 'Stay at the bunker and do research for Garth,'_ " Amriel mimicked, "It's ridiculous."

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Cas asked, and she could feel his gaze on her for a few seconds.

"Because there's no use in fighting with Sam and Dean- they're too stubborn for their own good, and I don't like arguing with you," she mumbled, letting her anger dissipate momentarily before glaring again, "But it still isn't fair! I'm your equal, I shouldn't be left behind or ordered around."

Cas was silent, and Amriel shook her head, unwilling to let the conversation end.

"Do you know what I did while you were taking Metatron to get the Demon Tablet? While Sam and Dean went off to help Charlie?" she asked, finally glancing over at Cas to see him shake his head. "I drove a few towns over and cured children of their terminal cancer."

"I didn't know that. You didn't mention it," he mumbled, "I know that you want to do more. To  _help_  more. But there are some things I don't want you involved in, or some things Sam and Dean don't need help with. They order me around sometimes too, but it isn't on purpose."

"I don't want to be treated like that, though. I didn't like the way you spoke to me earlier," Amriel told him, wanting to make sure he understood. "You've never spoken to me like that before. It was demeaning and rude."

"Elle, I'm sorry. I'm stressed out, we're  _all_  stressed out, but that doesn't mean I can take it out on you…" he trailed off and was quiet for a moment or two, "Are you okay? I know you blame yourself for Charlie-"

"Don't," she cut him off. "I'm partly responsible for her death, so don't try and make me feel better. If I had made her stay with us…"

Amriel choked up and buried her face in her hands, not wanting to cry again, "She was just trying to help us save Dean."

"We have to get to Dean now, because if we don't, Charlie's death will have been for nothing," he told her before saying, "She'll be given a hunter's funeral, she won't be forgotten."

* * *

The angels arrived at the Styne house in Louisiana only to find a bloodbath. Dean had been there, but he was long gone, and had left over a dozen bodies in his wake. They called Sam and told him what they found- that his brother had brutally killed these people and disappeared. Sam had wanted to come meet them, but Cas told him not to bother. The GPS they had followed to Louisiana showed that he was heading back to the bunker.

It was a long drive, but as they pulled up to the bunker Cas told Amriel that he wanted to go in alone.

"Didn't we  _just_  talk about this?" she groaned, but noticed the look on his face that seemed serious.

"He's volatile, and I have no idea what's going to happen in there. I- I can't put you in danger, so please don't fight me on this," Cas pleaded, shooting a glance her way before returning his focus to the road. "Let me handle this alone."

"If he's so volatile, wouldn't it be better if I was there for backup?" Amriel tried, even though she knew she probably wasn't going to get anywhere.

"You have to realize that if Dean gets the upper hand on either one of us, he won't hesitate to use it against the other."

Amriel nodded, knowing that if he was backed into a corner, Dean would probably do something drastic. She agreed with him there, so she decided to let him go alone.

"I'll give you 20 minutes before I come in, okay? That should be enough time to subdue him, and I'll help you lock him down," she finally conceded as they pulled up outside of the bunker.

"That's all I'll need," Cas said as he parked the car, turning it off and unbuckling his seatbelt. "I'll see you shortly."

Amriel forced a smile as he kissed her cheek and watched him get out of the car and head into the bunker.

* * *

Time passed slowly, Amriel watched the hands of the clock in the car tick in what felt like slow motion as she waited for Cas to text her and let her know she could come inside. At the 15 minute mark, she was about ready to go in and handle things herself, but the door suddenly opened.

Amriel got out of the car and saw Dean leaving the bunker, covered in blood with a deep scowl on his face and an angel blade in his hand.

"Dean?" she asked cautiously, "Where are you going? Where's Cas?"

"He's coughing up blood after I beat the shit out of him," Dean growled as the angel moved to stand in front of him. "Get out of my way."

"No. Why did you do that to him? Castiel is your  _friend!_ Why are you acting like this?" Amriel noticed his entire body was tense and his jaw was clenched, his energy giving off complete annoyance.

"You and Cas and Sam all lied to me, and because you lied, Charlie is  _dead_. She died because  _you_  were careless, and I took care of the people that killed her without a second thought," Dean yelled at her, and the angel flinched, but didn't move from his path.

They were at a stand off, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Amriel didn't want to hurt Dean, but if she had to in order to protect herself, she would.

Dean lunged for the angel, grabbing a fistful of her blonde hair and turning her around, slamming her down head first into the hood of the Lincoln. His other hand locked around her wrists, holding them tightly to her back as he lifted her head and threw it down into the hood again and again, making her vision go fuzzy.

"You think that I won't kill you because Cas loves you? That I won't kill you because we're  _friends_?" Dean hissed in her ear as he released his grip on her hair and pulled the angel blade from his waistband. "Newsflash, Blondie. I don't care about you."

He trailed the blade along her neck and collarbone, keeping the pressure just hard enough to let a little bit of her grace shine through, and he laughed.

"It's a good thing you picked a pretty vessel," he finally said, dropping the blade. "I'd hate to kill such a beautiful thing."

He released her and let her collapse against the car, panting for breath, tasting blood in her mouth as she closed her eyes and spit it out.

When Amriel realized that Dean was gone, she groaned and tried to pick herself up, her head aching as she gathered her bearings.

Once she could walk without feeling too dizzy, Amriel ran for the bunker, slamming the door behind her and skipping stairs as she descended, calling for Cas as she went.

She found him sprawled out on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and taking shallow breaths. His face was bloodied just like hers, maybe even more so.

"Cas… Are you okay?" she asked, kneeling beside him and helping him sit up so she could look him over, not realizing that he was doing the same to her.

"He almost killed me," Cas told her as he reached out and moved her hair away from the gashes in her forehead, trailing down to the wound on her neck, staring at her grace just barely visible beneath the healing skin. "He did this to you?"

"I wasn't going to let him leave. Dean saw me as an obstacle, nothing more," Amriel frowned, feeling tears welling up in her eyes, "The only reason he didn't kill me is because my vessel is attractive. He's out of control."

"I know, Elle. I didn't realize it was  _this_  bad," he sighed. "He killed a kid in cold blood. We have to stop him."

The door of the bunker opened and Amriel tensed, reaching for her blade in the waistband of her shorts with one hand, the other motioning for Cas to be quiet. He was in worse shape than she was, so she got up from the floor and moved towards the stairs as quietly as she could without alerting whoever had come in.

"Cas? Amriel?" Sam's voice rang out, and the blonde felt relief run through her.

"We're here," she answered, coming face to face with him once he reached the bottom of the stairs.

Sam's eyes widened in shock, taking in the angel's normally blonde hair, matted with blood, and the bruises, gashes, and cuts on her face and neck, and he cringed.

"What happened? Where's Cas?" he asked, looking around in confusion.

"Your brother happened," Amriel said, leading Sam to where Cas was still seated on the ground where she had left him. "He nearly killed Castiel, and then he threatened to kill me."

She looked down at the angel she loved so much, angry and upset that he was so battered and defeated, his face still swollen from however many hits Dean had inflicted. Amriel reached out her hand, her eyes asking if he was ready to stand, and when he nodded and slipped his hand into hers, she pulled him up and held him close to her.

"He told me that we shouldn't follow him," Cas said, a determined look on his face. "We have to do something."

* * *

They had tried everything they could think of to find Dean before turning to Rowena to follow up on her end of their bargain and help remove the Mark. Sam got a call from a hunter named Rudy, saying that he had found Dean. So he took off, leaving Cas and Amriel to deal with the spell.

Crowley had been brought in to retrieve the ingredients Rowena would need for the spell the codex called for, which included forbiden fruit, the Golden Calf, and something that Rowena loved. Rowena claimed that she didn't love anything, but Cas looked into her mind and found that it was a boy named Oskar.

With that information, Crowley disappeared and returned within an hour so, and the angels and demon watched the witch as she performed her spell.

Amriel flinched when she saw Rowena stab Oskar with a pen, burying her face in Cas' shoulder and squeezing his hand, feeling a little better when he squeezed back.

A bright light illuminated the bowl containing the spell's ingredients, followed by a blast wave that knocked all four of them off of their feet. A bolt of red lightning left the bowl and blew through the roof.

The chains that had been keeping Rowena under control fell off, and she threw out her hands, shouting a spell at the three, managing to immobilize Castiel and Crowley.

"How are you able to do this? You're not powerful enough!" Crowley shouted from his position on the floor.

"To what?" the witch asked innocently. "Control the legs of a bored king and a withered angel? Easy peasy! Though the blonde is much stronger than either of you, bravo, dear!"

Amriel had the wind knocked out of her, but she managed to stand up and try to approach Rowena.

"I wouldn't try anything, sweetheart. You haven't wronged me the way these two have," Rowena warned as Crowley said that she wasn't powerful enough.

The redheaded witch continued with another spell, telling her son that he had never seen what a real witch could do with real magic. She pointed at Cas and then to Crowley before walking out of the room.

Amriel looked down at Cas, who was now getting off of the floor, bleeding from his eyes, and she felt her heart stop.

He wasn't looking at her, though. His sights were set on Crowley, and she watched his angel blade slip into his hand from the sleeve of his coat.

"Castiel," Crowley tried, "Don't _._  Do not. Don't! Amriel, do something,  _please!"_

Amriel suddenly kicked into gear, launching forward and grabbing the back of Castiel's trench coat, pulling him as hard as she could as he tried to stab Crowley.

"Get out of here, I'll handle him," she yelled at the demon, who shot her what looked like a grateful expression before he disappeared.

Turning her attention back to Cas, she kept one hand holding onto his coat, using the other to disarm him, tucking the blade in the waistband of her shorts with her own.

"Cas, I need you to look at me," she said as she turned him to face her, planting both of her hands on either side of his face, "You're going to be okay. I'm gonna take care of you."

She could see that he was dazed, unaware of his surroundings, his breath coming in short pants that were hot against her skin.

"I know you probably don't know what I'm saying, but I love you and I'm doing this  _because_  I love you," Amriel said quietly, focusing her energy to put him to sleep, catching him as he collapsed into her.

"What am I going to do with you?" she mused, running her fingers through his hair as she felt his breathing even out.

Amriel couldn't stay in this warehouse- she had to get moving, but wasn't sure where to take the unconscious angel. Making a decision, she hoisted him up over her shoulder and left the building, making her way through the woods to try and find somewhere for them to hide out for a little bit.

She found an abandoned shack a few miles away and decided to stop there. She set Cas down on the floor and brushed his hair out of his eyes, frowning as he started to wake- the effects of her power wearing off sooner than she had hoped.

"Where- where are we?" Cas asked, blinking a few times and looking around, "You need to get out of here, I could hurt you!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Castiel," she said firmly. "You won't hurt me, I won't let you."

He seemed weary, but let it go and asked what had happened.

"Did- Did I kill Crowley? I remember killing him, but I also remember him leaving?"

Amriel could hear the confusion in his voice and she shook her head, telling him that Crowley had gotten away.

"I'm going to go see if I can find a main road, figure out where we are," she told him. "Will you be okay here alone for a little bit?"

Cas looked up at her, and she could tell he was still in a fog, but she needed to get them someplace safe- safer than this rickety shack.

"I- I'll be fine," he finally said, and Amriel nodded, kneeling down and pressing a kiss to his forehead, ignoring the sheen of perspiration.

"Good. If you need me, all you have to do is call or pray, and I'll be back as soon as possible, I promise," she said, sending him a smile as she got up. "Lock the door behind me, and don't open it for anyone."

Amriel left the shack and immediately headed out into the woods, listening for the sounds of cars or anything that would lead her to getting a ride in the direction of the bunker. They'd be safe there. She could secure Cas so he couldn't hurt anyone, and they could figure out how to remove the spell Rowena had cast on him.

After finding a road a little over a mile away, Amriel made her way back to the shack and was shocked to find the bodies of a man and two kids on the ground. She covered her mouth to stifle any noise from coming out as she looked around for Cas only to find that he wasn't there.

She left the shack and headed back out into the forest, calling out for Castiel in hopes of finding him before he could get too far. She heard sirens in the distance and frowned, knowing that wasn't a good sign.

"Cas! Castiel!" she yelled, "Where are you, Cas?"

A rustling to her left caught her attention and she quickly turned and headed in that direction, relief flooding through her when she saw Cas leaning against a tree.

"There you are. What happened while I was gone?" Amriel asked as she walked up to him, noticing that his hands were covered in blood.

"I- I don't know. They came into the shack, told me to leave, and the next thing I knew they were dead. I can't control it," he mumbled, staring at the ground as he spoke.

"Do you want me to put you to sleep again? I found a road a mile from here, I could carry you," she suggested, glancing over her shoulder in the direction the road was. When she turned back to face Cas, his eyes were trained on her, and she didn't like the look in them whatsoever.

"Amriel, you have to run," he said lowly, his voice almost a growl. "I  _need_  you to run. I don't want to hurt you."

She shook her head and reached out to render him unconscious, but he grabbed her arm and spun her around, his other arm locking around her neck in a chokehold.

"I told you to run," Cas breathed into her ear, squeezing her neck and cutting off her air supply. "Why didn't you run?"

"C-Cas," she sputtered, her free hand grasping at his arm, trying to loosen his grip, black spots filling her vision, "Please, stop!"

Amriel fell limp against his chest, and Cas let out an angry yell before setting her down on the leaf-covered ground. He knelt beside her unconscious body, wiping stray tears from his face as he stared at the blonde.

"I have to end this- I need help, otherwise I might actually kill her," Castiel sighed, lowering his head and folding his hands together in front of him as he began to pray.

He knew it would be some time before anyone showed up, so he called Dean to let him know that he and Amriel were okay and to tell Sam that Rowena had escaped with the Book of the Damned and the codex. In turn, Dean told him that the Mark was gone, and asked Cas about the Darkness.

"Why would I talk about the Darkness?" Cas asked, wondering how they even knew about it.

" _Because it's free,"_  Sam told him, and Cas frowned in confusion.

Sam said that Dean had seen her after the Mark had been removed, and Dean asked if he could tell them anything about the Darkness, who had been a woman. Cas was going to answer, but heard a noise in the woods behind him.

"Sam, Dean," he said quickly, "Goodbye. It may be some time before you and I see one another again."

He hung up the phone quickly, stuffing the device in his coat pocket and turning to acknowledge the two angels standing behind him with their blades drawn.

"Brothers," Cas nodded to them, "I need your help."

The angel on the left looked down at Amriel, who was still unconscious on the ground, and he motioned for the other angel to grab her.

"We will deal with whatever your problem is once we are back at our base. Come, Castiel."

Cas watched the other angel pick Amriel up and hoist her over his shoulder, and he felt anger rising up inside of him, his hands forming fists and clenching at his sides.

"She doesn't need to be involved in this," he finally said. "Please, just… leave her here."

The angel not carrying Amriel laughed, shaking his head as he said, "Amriel is just as accountable as you are, so she will be joining us. Now, let's get going."


	41. Cure

Amriel woke up, her neck aching as she looked around, realizing that she was in some type of dungeon. Fear ran through her as she thought back to being tortured by Urim, and she looked down to see that she was chained to a chair.

"No," she whispered to herself, "Not again!"

She struggled against the chains, hoping that they would loosen. When they didn't, she let out a frustrated groan and pushed herself against the back of the steel chair.

How had she gotten here? The last thing she remembered… The last thing she remembered was Cas choking her. What happened after that?

Amriel heard a door open behind her and footsteps followed shortly after. An angel she recognized as Efram stood before her, a small smirk on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Where am I? Where's Castiel?" she asked, staring up at him.

"It doesn't matter where we are. Castiel is being interrogated about the whereabouts of Metatron, since  _he_  was the one that broke him out of Heaven. And since you're his lover, he must've told you," Efram said, pulling his blade out and twirling it around carelessly.

"Neither of us know where he went. Cas told me that Metatron got away," Amriel told him, "But it doesn't matter. He's been cursed by a very powerful witch- he needs help!"

"He seems to have the same story. Jonah is going to get the truth out of him, and if he doesn't, we'll try and get it out of you," Efram smiled. "I heard about what Urim did to you months ago. I'm going to make that seem like… What do humans say? A  _walk in the woods_?"

"It's park _._ A walk in the  _park._ I wasn't even there when Metatron escaped! I was at a hospital healing children with cancer," she snapped at him, and Efram chuckled.

"Of course you were, you're  _Amriel_ , the little angel who does it all. You were such a do-gooder in Heaven, it makes sense that you would be the same way here," he sneered back, moving in closely and pressing the point of his blade against her cheek. "I'm going to ask you one more time, Amriel. Where is Metatron?"

"Efram, please, I don't know," she answered again, feeling panic coursing through her entire being. She heard Cas yelling from somewhere nearby, and her heart stopped. "What are you doing to him?"

"Jonah is doing to him what I'm about to do to you," Efram grinned, using his free hand to grab a fistful of her hair and hold her head still. "This is going to hurt, so feel free to be as loud as you want."

The door opened again and Efram stepped back, looking at whoever had just walked in.

"Yes, Hannah?" he asked, and Amriel sat up straight, trying to peer over her shoulder and make eye contact with the angel that had come in.

"Come. You're not needed here, Amriel knows nothing of Metatron's whereabouts, or even the Winchesters. Castiel told me so. Leave her in here," Hannah's voice was cold and distant, and any hope that Amriel had felt was gone now.

"He needs help, Hannah!" she yelled, hoping she would understand, "Rowena cursed him, he's dangerous."

"We will deal with Castiel, don't worry," Hannah told her, "Come, Efram."

Efram disappeared with Hannah, and the door behind her closed.

Amriel took a deep breath and closed her eyes and tried not to cry as she listened to the sounds of Cas screaming in pain in a room near the one she was currently locked in.

It felt like hours had gone by when the screams finally stopped, and Amriel took a sharp breath as she heard footsteps approaching the door. Had they killed him?

The door opened and Amriel heard Cas call her name. Her eyes opened and she tried to look over her shoulder as he came around to the front of her, and she noticed that he was covered in blood.

"What happened?" she asked carefully as he undid the chains that held her to the chair.

"They were trying to 'hack' my brain, like Naomi did," Cas grumbled, helping her out of the chair and running his fingers over her cheek as if he was looking for any signs of damage. "We need to get out of here."

* * *

Amriel drove them to the bunker, where they waited for Sam and Dean to get back from wherever they were. Cas had asked her to shackle his wrists and chain him to the floor, just in case he had another episode. She hesitantly agreed, and they sat across from one another in the library, playing cards and avoiding bringing up the kidnapping and torture that had happened only a few hours ago.

"I'm sorry," Cas said suddenly, throwing down a card into the discard pile. "For choking you until you became unconscious. I… I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know. I wasn't going to leave you, though. I  _couldn't_  leave you," she told him, reaching across the table and taking his free hand, lacing their fingers together. "When Sam and Dean get here we'll figure out a way to cure you."

"What if I'm incurable?" he asked quietly, and Amriel squeezed his hand as she told him not to think like that.

They continued to play cards until the Winchesters arrived, and the four of them all sat down and discussed the Darkness.

Dean described her as a woman when she first appeared to him, but now she was apparently a baby.

"It still has to grow up, right?" Dean asked.

Amriel told the brothers that the Darkness was almost infinite power, and Sam brought up the fact that God had contained the Darkness before.

"I wouldn't count on God," Cas frowned, and Amriel nodded in agreement.

"It's possible he's around, right? Closer than we think, you know?" Sam tried to give them a little hope, but no one was having it. "I hate to point this out, but you know who we might need to help deal with the Darkness…"

"Don't even say it," Dean warned his brother, a look on his face telling Sam to shut up.

"He was God's scribe. He did hear about everything," Sam tried to reason.

Cas leaned down towards his cuffed hands and rubbed his face, and Amriel's attention turned to him instantly, watching him carefully as he took deep breaths. She quickly got out of her chair and rounded the table, taking a seat in the chair next to him and rubbing his back soothingly.

"That's just like saying it," Dean frowned at his brother before looking to Cas, "You alright, pal?"

"It's the spell," he mumbled in response.

"We were hoping your angel wiring would fight it off, or slow it down at least," Sam said, looking to Amriel, who shrugged in response.

"It appears I simply respond differently from humans," Cas answered, and the Winchesters went back and forth with ideas on how to remove it.

Amriel knew that Rowena would be the only one to be able to get rid of the spell since she had been the one to cast it. She had already tried to heal him more than once using her grace, but it had really only eased his discomfort.

She heard Sam say that it was getting worse, and she felt her stomach drop. Amriel was well aware that he wasn't improving, but she had been telling herself he was going to be okay.

The blonde leaned closer to Cas, her lips hovering near his ear as she asked if there was anything she could get him.

"Water, please," he whispered, and Amriel nodded once before pressing a kiss to his hair and getting up.

Once Amriel was in the kitchen she quickly discovered that there were no clean cups. Heaving a sigh, she washed one in the sink and dried it off with a dish towel before she filled it up with ice and cold water. She could hear the brothers talking to Cas, and then suddenly Cas was groaning and there was a loud thump, followed by Dean yelling Cas' name.

Amriel took off and ran into the library to find Sam and Dean hovering over Cas, asking him if he was okay and if he knew where he was. She set the glass down on the table and pushed them out of the way so she could crouch down and help Cas up and into the chair.

She looked him over as he explained that he felt like he was inside a blender that was set to puree for a tomato salsa.

"And you're the tomato?" Dean asked.

"In this analogy, yes," Cas nodded, reaching up to take Amriel's hand, only to be stopped halfway there because of the handcuffs.

Amriel shot him an apologetic look and connecting their hands, squeezing his fingers reassuringly as she sat beside him.

"We need to find Rowena," she said to Sam and Dean, who both agreed with her.

"What can I do to help?" Castiel asked, and Amriel immediately shook her head. She was ready to tell him no, but Sam beat her to it.

"No, no no. You just sit here and take a breather- try and put yourself together," Sam told him.

"Okay, I'll do my best," Cas grumbled. "It's- It's difficult with these voices."

"Now there are voices?" Sam was surprised, but Amriel shook her head as Dean asked if the voices were telling him to hurt people.

"No, it's angel radio," Cas explained, "There's been a lot of chatter. They've been looking for me ever since I escaped, as well as scouring Earth for the perp. It's slang for  _perpetrator_."

"Yeah, thanks for that explanation," Sam sighed, "Any  _perp_  in particular?"

"They're looking for Metatron," Amriel cut in, having been tuned into angel radio too. "They've doubled their efforts to find him."

"If we need to get a hold of him, we better do it soon," Cas added in, and Amriel nodded in agreement.

They had all decided that Sam and Dean would go to Denver and get Rowena and Amriel would stay at the bunker with Cas and keep him from getting into any trouble.

Amriel stood outside of the bunker with the brothers, watching them load up the Impala with her arms crossed over her chest. Sam came to stand beside her, his brow furrowed as he watched Dean tossing his bag into the trunk.

"Don't come back unless you have Rowena with you," she told him firmly. "If anything happens to him, you'll have to deal with me, and trust me, nobody wants that."

Sam nodded, unsure of what to say. He had never really seen Amriel make any threats, but here she was, standing beside him rigidly, staring blankly at the Impala. The younger Winchester could tell she was worried by the wear on her normally manicured nails, and he wondered if there was anything he could say to make her feel better.

"I  _will not_ lose him, Sam," Amriel finally said, glancing up at him. "I've spent a lot of time looking out for you as my charge.  _Please_ , don't let me down."

There was a pleading tone to her voice and she hated how weak she sounded in that moment. Angels were fearless. They were powerful. Nothing stood in their way. But here she was, practically begging a human to retrieve the only person that could cure Castiel of the spell that was plaguing him.

"I won't, Amriel, I can't— he's important to me and Dean too."

Amriel nodded once before telling him to be safe. She shot Dean a look before sending him a nod too, and then she returned to the bunker.

* * *

"You don't have to sit here and babysit me, Elle," Cas told her with a roll of his eyes. "I'm very capable of sitting here by myself."

"Now why would I do that when I could sit here and spend time with you?" She answered sweetly, seated across from him at the library table.

"I don't know how you can look at me after what I did to you," he mumbled softly, and Amriel felt her chest tighten.

"Cas, it's not your fault— you've been cursed. How can I hold you accountable for something you can't control?"

She grabbed Sam's laptop and set it in front of him, telling him to see if he could find Metatron while she took a shower.

"Are you gonna be okay for like ten minutes? I really need to get rid of this dirt- did you drop me on the ground in the woods?" Amriel asked, laughing as she brushed herself off, trying to lighten his mood.

"It isn't funny, but yes, I did," Cas sighed. "I'll be fine, go shower."

Amriel pressed a kiss to the top of his head, smiling softly as she mumbled, "Maybe when you aren't homicidal we can shower together."

"I'm going to hold you to that!" he grinned up at her, his eyes sparkling for the first time in a while.

The blonde laughed, and with a roll of her eyes she ruffled his hair and headed off to take a shower and finally change into some fresh clothes.

* * *

Cas looked down at the laptop and read over the page where he could enter in a license plate number to try and find his stolen car. He pressed a button and the page vanished, and the angel tilted his head as he tried to click on the desktop to open up another window with images of scantily clad women.

" _Fortune Nookie, your premiere website for all your Asian girl fantasies,"_ a sensual, female voice played from the speakers. " _We have hundreds of lovely girls just waiting to chat with you 24 hours a day."_

"What could 'Fortune Nookie' be?" Cas asked aloud, frowning at the laptop as he closed it.

A flash of when he was first cursed by Rowena took over his vision, and he saw the witch casting the spell and Crowley telling him to stop. He hissed in pain, pulling at the cuffs that bound him to the chair until they broke.

Castiel stood and made his way back towards the bedrooms, where he could still hear the shower running. He wanted nothing more than to tell Amriel that he was in pain- that this curse wanted him to hurt her, but he wasn't going to let it. He went into their shared room and scrawled out a quick note saying that he was sorry, leaving it on the bedside table and grabbing the chair from the desk. Cas put the chair up against the door so she wouldn't be able to follow him, and with that he left. He had to get himself as far away from Amriel as he could so he wouldn't hurt her again.

* * *

Amriel got out of the shower and dried herself off, dressing in shorts and a t-shirt, relieved to finally be in clean clothes. She combed her long hair, getting out any knots that had formed before plugging in Sam's blow dryer and using it to dry her hair.

Finally ready to return to Cas, Amriel went to open the door only to find that it was stuck. She pushed again, then knocked on the door, confusion running through her as she did so.

"Cas? Are you out there? What's going on?" she called out, banging on the door again before realizing that he had been the one to trap her in the bathroom. "Oh no. No, no, no."

Amriel backed away from the door and raised her hand, sending a blast of energy at it, sending the chair that had been keeping her inside across the hall. She stepped out into the hallway and made to move towards the library, only to find herself stuck.

"What the-" she started before noticing a new ward painted on the wall directly across from her. "Seriously? Cas!"

She was stuck. Too far away to reach the ward to break it herself, Amriel had to wait for Sam and Dean to get back and free her because she had left her phone in the bedroom.

Hours had past and Amriel was sitting on the floor when she heard the door to the bunker open and three sets of footsteps come down the stairs.

"Sam? Dean!" she called out, standing up and brushing herself off.

It was a few minutes before Sam came down the hall, and she saw his eyes widen at the sight of her just standing there.

"Cas is gone- he locked me in the bathroom, but I got out only to be stopped by a ward," Amriel explained, pointing to the drawing on the wall. "Could you break it for me?"

Sam nodded and pulled a pocket knife out of his pants, scratching the paint enough to break the ward and free the angel.

"I assume that you brought Rowena?" she asked, grabbing her things out of the bathroom and taking them into her room, where she noticed a piece of paper on her bedside table. Picking it up, she recognized the handwriting immediately as Castiel's.

_I'm sorry for having to trap you, I only did it for your safety. Please, do not follow me. This is for the best. I love you._

Amriel frowned as she folded the piece of paper up and set it back down, joining Sam in the hall.

"Dean is interrogating her," Sam said, and the blonde shook her head, telling him that they needed to go find Cas.

"He can't be left alone. We have to go after him," she pressed, heading towards the dungeon where she could hear Dean's voice. She opened the door and stepped inside, catching the attention of both the Winchester and the witch. "Cas is gone. We need to find him,  _now._ "

* * *

They had found Cas stalking a girl in an alley and followed him to an abandoned warehouse. They stopped him from hurting the girl, but he attacked Dean instead, getting in a few good punches before Rowena finally removed the spell and disappeared.

Back at the bunker, Cas was apologetic to say the very least. He couldn't stop, it seemed. He had tried to heal Dean's injuries, but was waved off by the man. When it seemed like Dean was over his incessant apologizing, he turned to Amriel, who was seated on top of the command center table drinking a beer.

"Elle-" he started, moving to stand in front of her, but she cut him off with a raised hand.

"I know, you don't have to say it," Amriel smoothed out the lapel of his coat as she mumbled that she forgave him.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness," Cas answered, staring down at her feet as they dangled off of the table.

"Don't say that, Castiel," she told him, moving her hand up to his chin and tilting his head up so she could look him in the eyes. She could feel Sam and Dean watching, but she ignored them and focused on the angel in front of her. "I know that you were under a spell.  _They_  know it too. There's nothing to forgive."

Sam cleared his throat as he approached the couple, a laptop in his hands and a small smile on his face.

"Dean and I think Cas could use some rest.. You too, Amriel. We're gonna take a couple of cases, do some hunting. But we want you two to stay here and watch some Netflix," Sam explained, handing the computer to the blonde. "We'll call if we need any help, if that's okay with you guys?"

Cas nodded and Amriel smiled as his willingness to take some time to heal after being under Rowena's spell for so long.

"That sounds like a good idea," he agreed, taking the laptop from Amriel and helping her off of the table. "I've heard that  _Breaking Bad_  is worth watching. How about we start with that?"

"Works for me," Amriel smiled. "Why don't you go get settled into bed? I need to have a word with Sam and Dean."

At first she had expected him to put up a fight, but Cas nodded tiredly and headed back towards their bedroom. Once she was sure he was out of earshot, Amriel turned to the brothers and heaved a sigh.

"I- I just wanted to thank you guys," she finally said. "I could never repay you both for finding Rowena and getting her to lift the spell. I wish she hadn't gotten away…"

"We'll get her at some point, she can't hide from us forever," Sam reassured the angel, and Dean nodded.

"You don't have to thank us, Blondie. Cas is our friend- he's family, and so are you," Dean told her as he adjusted the ice pack he had been holding against his cheek. "We're gonna rest up before looking for a case. You gonna be okay here on your own with him?"

"We'll be fine," Amriel said with a shrug, telling them that she was going to go and check on Castiel.

The angel smiled at the brothers and left the command center, making her way down the hall to find Cas tucked into their bed, browsing through Netflix until he noticed her come in.

"There are so many shows to watch," he mused, looking away from the screen to watch her take off her shorts and slide into bed beside him. "How do people have the time to watch everything?"

"I don't know, Cas, but we can try," Amriel grinned, "Let's get started."


	42. Vows

"Cas, where are we going? Shouldn't we be back at the bunker so you can rest?" Amriel asked, growing more and more anxious with each passing minute they were in the car. Not long after they had finished helping Sam and Dean hunt a Nachzehrer from the bunker, he had told her to change into a dress he had picked out, then got her into the car and tied one of her scarves around her head, covering her eyes so she couldn't see where they were. All he had told her before they left was that it was a surprise.

"We're almost there, Elle. Be patient," he told her, and she could just hear the smile in his voice.

She pulled at the hem of her floral dress and hummed along to the music on the radio, keeping herself occupied until she felt the car stop and Cas told her to sit tight.

Her door opened and he took her hand, helping her out of the car. The makeshift blindfold was removed and Amriel blinked a few times, her eyes adjusting to the light before she looked around. They were in a field of lavender, parked beside the Impala and another car she didn't recognize, and she saw a small gazebo in the distance with three men standing there, apparently waiting for them.

"What is this, Cas?" she asked as he led her towards the gazebo.

"Well, I once told you that when I recovered my grace I wanted to commit myself to you in every way. I intend to keep that promise," Castiel told her as they approached, and he greeted Sam and Dean once they were up the steps and in the small gazebo.

Amriel looked at the Winchesters, taking in their suits and smiling when she saw that Sam was holding a small bouquet of lavender, lilac, and baby's breath.

"I can't believe you three planned this without me," she grinned before turning to the third man, who gave off the air that he was a servant of God. "Hello, Father. I'm Amriel."

"A pleasure. I'm Father Harris. Why don't I give you all a few moments before we begin," the man excused himself, leaving the four alone.

"This is amazing," Amriel gushed. "I didn't envision anything like this when Cas and I discussed marriage. I wasn't really sure  _what_  to envision."

"Only the best for our favorite angels," Dean told her, and Sam handed her the bouquet. "We found the padre on the way over. Hope that's okay."

"Of course. This is all perfect. Thank you, Dean," Cas nodded at his friend, his hand still holding onto Amriel's. "Do you have the other things?"

Amriel glanced up at him, furrowing a brow before turning to look back at Dean, who was searching his jacket pocket.

"Wouldn't leave home without 'em," he said, and Sam scoffed.

"We were on the road for ten minutes and he realized he forgot," the taller Winchester said, and Dean shot him a glare.

"Cas," Amriel said suddenly, catching his attention and causing him to look down at her. She leaned into him closely, whispering, "I didn't prepare anything... Don't weddings have vows?"

"It's  _our_  wedding, we can do whatever we want," he told her with a smile, and she felt a little better about the whole thing.

"Okay," Dean interrupted, "Are we ready to get this show on the road? Sam and I got a lot going on-"

"Dean!" Sam snapped, "Come on, this is a big deal. Everything else can wait."

The older Winchester rolled his eyes and handed Cas whatever he had retrieved from his pocket, turning his attention to Amriel.

"You'll need this for the ceremony," he told her, taking her hand and dropping a platinum band into her open palm. "Don't lose it, okay?"

"Oh.. Okay," Amriel mumbled, staring down at the ring and noticing that the inside was engraved with their initials and the date. They must've been planning this for a while, she mused, a small smile on her lips. "I think I'm ready."

Father Harris returned, and the four organized themselves in front of him. Amriel and Cas stood across from one another, with Dean standing behind Cas and Sam behind Amriel, and the pastor began.

Amriel couldn't even concentrate on anything he was saying, she was so focused on Cas. His hair was neatly combed and his tie was actually on correctly, which was something that happened very rarely. He was smiling down at her, his blue eyes full of light, and Amriel felt her heart pounding in her chest.

"At this time, before proceeding with the bonding ceremony, I would invite the couple to share their vows," Father Harris spoke. "Amriel, would you please deliver yours first?"

She froze, her mind going blank as she continued to stare at Cas. He nodded in encouragement, telling her to go on, and she took a deep breath before beginning.

"I had been lost until I found you, and the moment I did, I knew I was safe. I knew I could stop searching for a way to get home, because  _you_  are home. I can't imagine my life without you, and I plan to spend the rest of my existence by your side as your wife, your support, and your equal. I love you now as I've always loved you, and as I always will love you," she grinned up at Cas, noticing that the smile he wore lit up his eyes.

"And now Castiel, would you deliver your vows?" Father Harris asked.

"You came into my life at a time when I wasn't sure how I was going to go on. I don't know how I went through life without you, but I'm glad that you stepped into that gas station when you did. You've been a source of strength, wisdom, and understanding that I appreciate more than you know. I love you now as I've always loved you, and as I always will love you," Cas said, repeating her last sentence and making her heart skip a beat.

Father Harris had them join hands before he continued, "Amriel, do you take Castiel as your cherished husband, in front of these witnesses, and promise to stay by his side through sickness and health, joy and sorrow, so long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Amriel grinned, her eyes not leaving Castiel's as she said it.

"Castiel, will you take Amriel as your cherished wife, in front of these witnesses, and promise to stay by her side through sickness and health, joy and sorrow, so long as you both shall live?" Father Harris asked.

"I do," he said with a nod, and the pastor asked for each of them to take out the rings so they could now exchange them.

"The wedding rings perfectly symbolize the never-ending love you two have for each other. By exchanging these rings, you solidify a lifelong commitment to one another. The rings serve as a welcome and constant reminder of the bond you've formed with your partner. Please repeat after me: I, Amriel, give you, Castiel this ring as a symbol of my enduring love. Just as the circle of the ring completes itself, so you complete me."

Amriel repeated his words with little difficulty, sliding the platinum band onto Cas' finger with ease, glad to see that it fit him perfectly.

Cas softly repeated the words as he took Amriel's hand, nearly dropping the ring but finally sliding it into place. The blonde glanced down at the thin band as it glinted in the light, and the pastor continued.

"Amriel and Castiel, by the power vested in me by the state of Washington, I am pleased to pronounce you wife and husband, sealed together today both in law and in love under the eyes of God. Castiel, you may kiss the bride!"

Before she knew it, Cas had wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her in for a sweet kiss, and when he pulled back Amriel could see the love clearly written across his face. She saw Dean over his shoulder, smiling proudly at the pair.

A pop came from behind her, and Amriel turned to see that Sam was pouring champagne for the four of them.

"Thank you so much, Father," Amriel said to the pastor, who smiled in return.

"Of course," he answered, "Anything for the children of God. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a sermon to plan for tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your evening, and may your lives together be long and fruitful."

Champagne was passed around and Dean toasted the newlyweds, asking what they were going to do for their honeymoon.

"Oh… I haven't thought about that," Cas said, his eyes wide as he realized he didn't have anything planned. He had been so focused on keeping the wedding a secret from Amriel that he had completely forgotten. "I'm sure we'll come up with something."

"Well you don't have to. Sam here hacked the Seattle Four Seasons and booked you a week in the Presidential suite," Dean grinned deviously as he glanced over to his brother. "He'll give you the info before we leave tonight."

The sun began to set on the field and Sam turned on the strings of lights hanging in the gazebo, the sounds of soft classic rock filled the air, and their sixth bottle of champagne was opened. It was a gorgeous night, full of stories, laughter, and relaxation. It had been so long since they had the time to just enjoy themselves and not worry about anything for a few hours.

"Thank you for helping me with this," Cas said to Sam as they leaned against the pillars of the gazebo, watching Dean teach Amriel how to shotgun a beer. "I had no idea what I was getting myself into with the planning..."

"It's no problem, Cas. You and Amriel are family," the younger Winchester answered, smiling as Amriel finished chugging her beer and beamed up at Dean, who had a proud look on his face. "It's the least we could do after everything you guys have done for us."

The two fell silent, watching Dean crush the can against his forehead as Amriel's laughter filled the air, and for the first time since the Fall, Cas felt content. Tired, but content.

"Castiel," she called out to him, walking towards the gazebo, "Dean says it's time to do shots!"

He smiled, thinking back to the first time he and Amriel did shots together.

Dean lined up four shot glasses and filled them with whiskey— a good bottle he may or may not have lifted from a liquor store on the way up— and passed them out.

"Okay now, I never thought I'd be doing this, but congrats, Cas and Elle. Sammy and I wish you many happy millennia together," Dean toasted.

* * *

Once the Winchesters were sober enough to drive, or rather, once Amriel used some of her power to sober Sam up to drive, the angels sent them on their way after thanking them repeatedly for the amazing night. Dean tried to shrug it off, but Amriel could tell that he was happy with how it had gone too.

Now that they were alone in the gazebo, the newlyweds looked at one another, smiles on their face.

"It's truly beautiful out here," Amriel mused, motioning to the fields of lavender and the stars above them. "And the  _smell_ , Cas… nothing in Heaven has ever smelled as good as this."

"You're right. Heaven is nothing compared to being here with you," he smiled, as he approached her, taking her hand in his and squeezing gently. "Amriel, I've been thinking about something nonstop since we retrieved my grace, and I want to ask if you wanted to-"

"Yes," she interrupted him, nodding even though he hadn't said what he wanted to do. "I've been thinking about it too, and I would love nothing more than to share my grace with yours."

Amriel watched his eyes light up, feeling her heartbeat begin to pick up speed. She let go of his hand and told him that she'd only be a second before reaching into his pocket and grabbing the car keys. She headed over to the car and opened up the trunk, pulling out the blanket that was inside.

"C'mon," she called out to him, motioning for him to follower her as she wandered out into the lavender field. She could tell that he wasn't far behind by the sound of his footsteps, and Amriel smiled to herself as she spread out the blanket and turned around to find him inches away.

"I'm not quite sure how-" Amriel started, her face heating up as she spoke. "I've only ever  _heard_  of a few angels doing this."

"I don't think there's a guidebook, Elle," he told her as he set his hands on her hips. "Just… Go with the flow."

Amriel laughed, shaking her head and burying her face in Cas' chest, "I don't think you've ever just  _gone with the flow._ "

"I guess there's a first time for everything, right?" Cas said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. She looked up at him and started pressing kisses to his jaw, her fingers running up his stomach and over his chest, tugging at his tie.

"There's something I've been wanting to show you," she murmured, pushing him back a little bit so she could look up at him.

"And what would that-" Cas started, but before he could finish he gasped at the sight before him.

Amriel had finally revealed her wings to him, and by the look on his face, she could tell he was pleased. She had taken care of them after being abducted by Urim, preening when she was alone and making sure the feathers had all grown in correctly. They weren't functional, but she had taken care of them regardless.

"Cas?" she asked, wondering what he was thinking and suddenly feeling nervous. "I- I can put them away."

"No, don't do that," he finally said. "I was debating on whether to show you mine or not. They're nowhere near as magnificent as yours."

The blonde peered over her shoulder and saw the emerald feathers, rolling her eyes at how hesitant and self deprecating Castiel was being.

"Cas, I love you. Every part of you is magnificent to me," Amriel smiled. "You know, I've put in a lot of effort on these. The least you could do is show me yours."

She watched as he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it beside the blanket, and when she looked back to him she was surprised to see that the feathers of his wings were pitch black.

"Oh, wow, Castiel-" she trailed off, trying to find the words to describe what she was feeling. "They're so impressive." She walked around him, looking from every angle. They were large and foreboding, those of a warrior. She hadn't seen them since a few years before the Fall, and her memory had been fuzzy, but now that she could see them, his wings were exactly as she remembered.

"I've been preening too, Elle," he said with a lopsided smile, obviously thrilled with the fact that she was pleased. "I know why you take so long in the bathroom after you shower."

Amriel flushed, surprised that he had figured out what she had been doing in there. She took his hands, lacing their fingers together and pursing her lips when she felt a small spark between them.

"Is this how it begins?" she asked, feeling her grace stirring within her.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Cas answered with a shrug. "There's only one way to find out."

They sat facing each other on the blanket, and Amriel grabbed her blade, looking at the familiar weapon and biting her lip, weary about what they were going to do next.

"Are we supposed to say anything? Is there a spell?" Amriel wondered aloud, playing with the blade as she spoke. "Do we do it at the same time?"

"Stop overthinking it, Elle," he told her with a smile, taking his own blade and holding it in his right hand.

Amriel nodded, knowing that for their graces to merge, they had to be released from their vessels.

"This would be so much easier in Heaven," the blonde mused, earning a small chuckle from Cas.

"I suppose, but I'm glad we're doing it here, on our wedding night," he shrugged in response.

The angels locked eyes and sliced each other's exposed wrists with their blades, not breaking eye contact as bright, blue lights fled their vessels and danced around them.

Amriel was the first to look away, her eyes following the celestial lights as they tangled in the air, as if they knew exactly what to do without being told.

"We're human?" she gasped, suddenly aware of every nerve in her body. She ached from sitting on the ground, but she felt amazing otherwise.

Cas merely nodded as he too watched their graces float through the air, "How do you feel?"

"Incredible," she smiled, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his lips before asking, "Is this what it was like for you?"

He looked down at her, shaking his head slightly, "Most of the time I felt weak, tired, and hopeless. Right now I'm feeling the exact opposite."

Before she could say anything else, a bright light flashed in the sky, illuminating the field, and the pair looked up at the sky. Amriel felt her heart stop, admiring the sheer beauty as their graces floated back down and into them.

Castiel's eyes flashed a bright blue, and with the way he was staring at her she knew hers must have done the same. She watched their matching wounds heal and felt a rush of new grace running through her.

"Do you feel it?" Amriel asked, reaching out and lacing their fingers together, feeling a new power run between them.

"It's incredible," Cas nodded.

Amriel wasn't sure who moved first, but before she knew it their hands were all over one another. Cas was busy kissing her neck while she pulled at his tie, unbuttoning his shirt as quickly as she could.

" _You're_  incredible," she breathed, setting her hands on his cheeks and pulling him away from her neck so she could look into his eyes. "Now take off your pants."

* * *

When she woke up the next morning, Amriel found herself surrounded by a mass of feathers. She couldn't tell whose were whose, and for a second she was worried they had gotten tangled up as they slept. She quickly righted herself, tucking her wings against her back and marveling at the sight before her.

"Cas," she said gently, watching him take a deep breath as his eyes fluttered open before closing them again to shut out the bright morning sun. "Your wings!"

"Hmm?" he mumbled sleepily, and the blonde motioned to his feathers and her own.

"They've changed colors," Amriel told him, "They're so gorgeous."

Instead of the pitch black that they had been last night, Amriel could see emerald feathers speckled throughout the span, shimmering in the light. She peered over her shoulder and saw that her own were different, too.

"I can't quite see, but I think mine have changed too," she smiled, looking back at Cas to see him staring up at her.

"Yes, they have," Cas answered, reaching up and taking her hand in his. "They're emerald, just like before, but instead of fading into white, it's black… Like mine."

"It probably has to do with our union, two graces becoming one and all," she mused, squeezing his hand as she spoke. "Do you want to get up and start the drive to the hotel Sam booked for us? I think he said check-in is at 2 p.m."

"I'd rather stay right here with you," he said with a small smirk on his lips, "But I can see that you're ready to go. So let's get up."

The pair dressed in their clothes from the day before, inspecting each other's wings as they moved, and Amriel looked around the field, squinting in confusion.

"Cas, are there more flowers here than there were yesterday?" she asked, noticing the lush green and purple flooding the fields surrounding them.

"It would appear so," Cas answered with a small smile, plucking a stem of lavender and tucking it into her hair. "I think it's all your fault, the way you tilted your hips right as I-"

" _Cas!_ " Amriel yelped, her cheeks and neck turning bright red as she cut him off. "You really think we caused this?"

"What else could it have been? You remember the stories about the Amazon, it isn't unheard of," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against his side. "I'm proud of what we created, aren't you?"

Amriel gazed out into the field, nodding as she replied, "Yeah, I really am. It's beautiful."

* * *

Their suite in Seattle was jaw-dropping. They had been greeted at the front desk with a " _Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Moscone"_  and as they were checked in, the employee went over all of the amenities their suite and the hotel offered. Then they were escorted to the suite and shown around the expansive place, and Cas tipped the bellboy as he left.

When they were finally alone, Amriel dropped her bag on the king sized bed and slipped off her shoes, turning to face Cas with an enormous smile.

"We have to get Sam a gift for setting this up," she said. "He really went above and beyond."

"I'm sure we'll find something in the city to get him," Cas answered as he shrugged out of his trench coat and jacket.

Amriel hummed as she unpacked her bag, hanging up her clothes and putting her belongings away in the drawers. They were booked here for a week, so she figured it would be nice to unpack and settle in.

Ever since she had woken up that morning, Amriel felt different. She felt in tune with herself, aware of everything around her. But on top of that, she was also aware of Castiel. She could feel his presence as he wandered around the suite, curiosity emanating from him as she heard him opening cupboards in the kitchen.

She felt attuned to him, and before she realized it she was on her way into the kitchen where she found him snooping in the fridge.

"Do you feel different?" she asked, watching him jump in surprise before he turned around to face her.

"What do you mean?" Cas replied, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"I don't know… I just feel different after last night. Like I knew you were in here being a snoop," Amriel said with a laugh. "I can't describe it, but I feel closer to you than ever before."

She watched his eyes light up as he smiled, and she could tell he felt it too.

Cas wrapped her up in his arms, breathing in the smell of her shampoo and heaving a content sigh.

"I don't think I've ever been this happy in my entire existence," he said, knowing that she felt the same way.

"What do you say we go explore the city?" Amriel asked, pulling back a bit and looking up at him with a smile. "We can do anything we want since we're on  _vacation_."

Sam had promised that he and Dean would try their best to leave the couple alone on their honeymoon, and Amriel had really appreciated that. They would have a week of nothing but each other- no angels, demons, or any other supernatural business to interrupt them.

* * *

After going to the top of the Space Needle and the Chihuly Garden and Glass Museum, they went to Pike Place Market and wandered around.

Amriel was overwhelmed by all of the artisans, vendors, and musicians. She looked from table to table, pulling Cas along by the hand. The blonde picked up a bracelet from one of the tables and tried it on, looking at the way it sat on her wrist before shaking her head and returning it to the table. She picked up a different one and turned to ask Cas for his opinion, only to find that he wasn't there.

"Cas?" she asked, putting the bracelet down and turning around to try and find him. "Where did you go…"

She went to the next few vendors, keeping an eye out for her trench coat clad husband, frowning when she was unable to find him.

Amriel pulled her phone out of her purse, ready to send him a text, only to find that she didn't have any service.

"Oh come on," she grumbled, tossing the device back into her bag in frustration. Unsure of what she should do, she decided to sit on a bench in the open-air plaza to try and regroup.

Thinking about their new bond, Amriel tried to feel for his presence. He was somewhere nearby, but she couldn't quite pinpoint it. Closing her eyes, she opened her mind and focused on nothing but Castiel. She thought of his eyes, and how they sparkled whenever he laughed, and his deep voice whenever he told her that he loved her.

 _"Castiel,"_  she called out in her mind, hoping he would hear her. She wasn't praying to him, instead she was trying to reach out using their combined grace.  _"Where are you?"_

A few moments later she felt his presence was closer and his voice echoed out in her head,  _"Open your eyes."_

Amriel did just that and looked up to see him standing in front of her, a bouquet of flowers in one hand.

"That's incredible," she breathed. "How did you find me?"

"The same way you reached out to me," Cas said with a smile as he handed her the flowers. "We have a lot to learn about our new powers."

"I guess so," Amriel smiled back, thanking him for the flowers and taking his hand, squeezing gently as he lifted her from the bench and they continued through the market. "I don't suppose we could ask Sam to do some research on bonded graces, seeing as there aren't many cases, huh?"

"It's worth asking. He  _did_  find those paintings neither of us knew about," Cas answered, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they walked. "Now, what's next on your list?"


	43. Pitiful

Their week in Seattle had flown by, and before Amriel knew it they were back at the bunker. The Winchesters were still on hunts, and the angels were burning through shows on Netflix. Amriel could tell that Cas still hadn't quite recovered from the curse Rowena had put on him- he would have spells where he would have flashbacks to trying to kill Crowley, and she would be there by his side immediately, calming him down in any way she could.

It helped that they shared grace now; Amriel could reach out easily and feel his fear as if it was her own, then calm herself down, effectively calming him down too.

They were tucked into bed watching  _Jenny Jones_ , wondering if Louis, the man being featured in the segment, was the potential father of the baby a woman on the show wanted a paternity test for.

Castiel's phone rang, and Amriel grabbed it from the bedside table, checking the Caller ID before handing it over to him, mumbling that it was Dean.

"Hi," Cas greeted, turning speakerphone on so Amriel could listen in too.

 _"Cas, how you doing, buddy?"_  Dean asked, and Amriel looked over to Cas, who was focused on the TV.

"Oh, I'm fine," he answered, and Amriel raised an eyebrow at him. He definitely  _wasn't_  fine.

 _"Find anything on Metatron?"_  Dean prodded.

"Um, nothing on angel radio," Cas answered simply.

 _"How long has it been since you left the bunker? Is Amriel with you?"_  the Winchester asked, and Amriel said hello.

"Oh, why would we leave?" Castiel asked, "We've got everything we need right here."

Amriel rolled her eyes she she heard Dean ask if they were watching  _Jenny Jones_ , and Cas told him it was a rerun.

"She's just about to announce the paternity results," Cas said, and Amriel turned her attention to the show.

 _"You_ are  _the father,"_  Jenny Jones announced, and the mother went wild, yelling that she was right and that the man had to be responsible and take care of his child now.

Amriel watched Cas roll his eyes, just like she had done, and he groaned in exasperation, "Jenny, he's not ready to be a father."

"He's not going to be able to handle the responsibility," Amriel agreed.

 _"Okay, I-I thought you were going with socially acceptable binge watching,"_  Dean said with a sigh.  _"You know,_  The Wire, Game of Thrones,  _stuff like that."_

"Yeah, well, a man can't live on caviar alone, Dean," Cas rationalized, and Amriel agreed.

"We needed a little mindless television after three days of  _The Sopranos_ , you know?" the blonde said.

 _"Can I talk to just Amriel for a second?"_  Dean asked, and Cas handed her the phone with a shrug.

She took the phone off of speaker and got out of bed, wandering through the bunker so she was out of earshot of Cas.

"What's up, Dean?" she asked once she was far enough away.

 _"He sounds weird. Is he okay?"_  he said quickly, and Amriel could hear the concern in his voice.

"Not really... He's having flashes of when he was under the curse, and all he wants to do is watch TV," Amriel sighed. "I'm trying my best here, Dean, but I'm not going to push him."

 _"You just need to turn off the TV and go outside. Get some air, okay?"_  Dean told her, and Amriel rolled her eyes.

"You think I haven't tried? I ask him every day, and all I get in response is  _no_ , so I just stay with him, in case he has another episode," Amriel hissed as she leaned against the kitchen table.

Amriel heard steps coming down the hallway, but then they stopped. She heard heavy panting followed by a shout that sounded like Cas was in extreme pain.

"Dean, I have to go," she quickly hung up and shoved the phone in her pocket as she ran towards the sound, where she found a fully-clothed, trench coat clad Cas leaning against the wall, his eyes squeezed shut and a pained look all over his face.

She set her hands on his chest and began muttering in Enochian, trying to get him to calm down.

"Cas, please…  _Castiel_ , are you okay?"

Amriel caught flashes of Cas being beaten by Dean and gasped, knowing that was what he was seeing right now. She tried to filter out his thoughts and focused on getting him back to reality, keeping him upright the entire time.

Finally he seemed to snap out of it, panting heavily as he tried to focus his gaze on Amriel. She felt him sag in her grasp, and he slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. Amriel knelt in front of him, combing her fingers through his hair and whispering soothing words.

Cas wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him and burying his face in her neck, breathing heavily as he tried to figure out what had happened.

"You're okay, Castiel," she mumbled, "I've got you. No one's going to hurt you."

Closing her eyes, Amriel saw Dean, his eyes black as he punched Cas as hard as he could, and she shuddered. If he had done that to someone he considered family, what would he have done to her?

"I- I was going to go outside, just to get some air like Dean said," he said slowly, not moving his face from where it was nestled against her neck. "I can't stop seeing these  _awful_  things."

"They'll go away with time," Amriel promised. "Do you want to go back to bed? I think you've had enough for today."

When she felt him nod, Amriel carefully got up and looked down at Cas, taking in just how exhausted he looked. She tried not to frown as she held out her hands for him, lifting him up from the ground and wrapping an arm around his waist securely as they walked back to their room.

She took off his trench coat and carefully hung it up in the closet, and when she turned back around to get him out of the rest of his clothes she found that he was already in bed.

"Cas…" she sighed, moving to the bed and lifting up the ends of the blankets to see that he hadn't taken off his shoes. "At least take your shoes off."

Amriel untied the laces and slid each shoe off, setting them on the floor and pulling the covers back over his sock-clad feed.

"Do you need anything?" she asked, and he merely shook his head, motioning to the remote he had in his hand as he turned on the TV.

"Just waiting for you to join me," Cas said with a small smile, and Amriel moved towards the bed before stopping in her tracks.

"Let me just grab one thing, I'll be right back," Amriel backed out of the room and made her way into the kitchen.

Searching through the freezer, she pulled out a container of Dean's cookie dough ice cream. She grabbed a spoon from the utensil drawer and went back to the bedroom, where she found Cas standing in front of the TV, the image on the screen paused as he stared at it closely.

"Cas?" she asked, watching him turn around and motion for her to come over to him.

"Look," he pointed to a fuzzy image, and Amriel squinted to see Metatron holding a video camera.

Castiel rewound the news broadcast, which showed two men fighting in an alley. People were yelling, and then one man took out a gun and shot the other. A white van pulled into the frame and they spotted Metatron in the side mirror's reflection holding a camera.

"He's in town. This is a local station," Cas told her, and Amriel heaved a sigh.

"I know you want to go find him, but you aren't in any state-" she started, but he cut her off.

"I need to do this. I need to find him and he needs to pay for what he's done. We have to get the Demon Tablet, too," Cas glared at the screen.

"Are you sure you're up to it? I'll be there the entire time, so if at any point you want to stop, all you have to do is say the word," Amriel said, still feeling uneasy about him leaving the bunker after what had just happened to him in the hallway.

"I'm sure, Amriel," he snapped, apologizing immediately afterwards. "I just.. I really want to find Metatron."

* * *

Amriel walked into the local TV station Metatron was submitting footage to and was greeted by a receptionist.

"Hello, um… I was wondering if I could talk to someone about the man who has been submitting tapes to your station? He's my uncle, and we've been trying to get in touch with him for a few months," Amriel lied easily, pulling out her phone and showing the man a photo she had taken of the TV. "Any contact information would be really helpful."

The receptionist looked at the photo and nodded, "He's been in here a few times. Let me get you his details."

He gave her a piece of paper with an address scribbled out on it, smiling at her charmingly and asking if she needed anything else.

"That's it, thank you so much!" Amriel grinned, taking the paper and folding it twice as she left the station and saw Cas waiting for her in the car, right where she had left him.

"How did it go?" he asked, turning down the police scanner a little bit as she got in.

"I got his address, so let's check that out for the Demon Tablet," she answered as she pulled her phone out and entered the address into the GPS.

Amriel picked the lock of Metatron's apartment door and the pair walked in, taking a look around the tiny, messy studio. When they determined that he wasn't there, the angels looked for the Demon Tablet.

"Check everywhere," Cas said as they split up, heading for the small kitchen as Amriel scanned the living area. She could hear him rummaging through drawers and cabinets, so she got to work, rifling through the couch cushions and lifting the mattress, her eyes widening when she spotted the tablet.

"Cas?" she called out, grabbing the tablet and holding it up for him to see. "Got it. Now let's go find Metatron."

Castiel opened up a police scanner app on his phone and they drove around until they heard about a shooting and they took off toward the location mentioned on the scanner.

Luckily they had gotten to Metatron before he could get away from the alley they found him in, and they took him to the closest abandoned building they could find.

Cas wanted to interrogate him, so Amriel let them go back and forth until Metatron asked if they wanted the Demon Tablet.

"Well, you're not gonna get it," Metatron smirked. "I have hidden it very carefully in a place where you and your little girlfriend-"

"Wife, and you hid it," Amriel called from behind Cas, holding up the tablet. "Under your mattress. The TV station gave me your address, and we checked the place out."

"You realize you have bed bugs, right?" Cas said with a grimace.

Metatron shot them an offended look, "You broke into my apartment?"

Ignoring his question, Cas walked closer to him, asking what he knew about the Darkness.

"The band?" Metatron asked, and Amriel rolled her eyes as Cas took another step closer.

"Okay, uh… Sometimes during late-night writing sessions, when God was deep in his cups, he may have let slip a few choice words, but…" he trailed off. Before grinning, "I don't have to tell you anything."

"Are you forgetting?" Cas grabbed Metatron by the collar and lifted him off of his feet, slamming him against a cabinet. "You're human now, and I could crush you like a bug."

"Cas..." Amriel warned, keeping a watchful eye on him as he let go of Metatron's collar.

"Could, but you won't. You think I don't notice?" Metatron stared up at the trench coat-clad angel. "You're broken, Castiel. You think  _she's_  going to fix you? I don't know what it was that happened, but whatever it was, you are scarred. Deep, paralyzed by trauma, by fear."

Amriel felt anger rising from the pit of her stomach, filling her entire being as she glared at Metatron. Cas was  _not_  broken.

"I mean, look at you. You can't even hit me!" Metatron laughed, only to be punched in the face.

"It's not fear," Cas told him, punching him again and throwing him through the cabinet. "What do you know about the Darkness?"

"Okay, so I misjudged," Metatron wheezed, trying to catch his breath and crawl away from Cas. "You're not scared. You're mad, and I get it. I mean, it must suck being everyone's tool, manipulated and used by the angels, by your enemies, by your friends… By your  _wife._ "

"Excuse me?" Amriel asked, pulling out her blade and taking a few steps closer, only to be waived off by Cas.

"You thought if you could get your grace back, it would help fix you, but it hasn't!" Metatron continued to goad him, only to be punched again.

"You don't know what Cas and I did, do you, Metatron?" she smirked, playing with her blade as she spoke. "We did a lot more than just get  _married_."

"You didn't!" he gasped, and Amriel wasn't sure it was from surprise or pain, but it pleased her regardless. "Your graces merged? What was it like?"

"None of your business," Cas snapped, grabbing Metatron's collar once more. "The Darkness."

Metatron continued to try and goad Cas into killing him, and Amriel was glad he hadn't given in, even though she could tell he wanted to.

"Go on, Castiel. End me," the Scribe told him, and Amriel watched Cas drop his hand and look down at his fist, shaking his head and saying no.

Amriel was surprised when Metatron began to cry, saying that he couldn't take being human anymore.

"The indignities- they just don't stop," Metatron lamented, "Make- making my rent and keeping my phone charged… Hemorrhoids."

Cas crouched down to where Metatron was sitting on the floor, telling him that he was right.

"I'm sick of having my strings pulled, which is why I won't let you manipulate me into letting you off easy," he told him, and Metatron heaved a sigh, saying that the truth would make Bible thumper heads explode.

He explained that what God had done took a lot of work and sacrifice. That in order to create the world, God had to give up the only thing he'd ever known- to betray and sacrifice his only kin.

The Darkness was God's sister.

"Wait,  _what?_ " Amriel blurted out once Metatron had finished. "God has a sister?"

"Yes, and apparently she was released when the bumbling buffoon that is Dean Winchester killed Death," Metatron rolled his eyes.

Castiel's phone pinged and he announced that he had a message from Dean, saying that they should meet back at the bunker ASAP.

"We need to go, Elle," Cas told her, turning away from Metatron without a second thought.

"I'll meet you at the car," she said with a small nod, smiling slightly as he passed by her, feeling the breeze of his hidden wings as he did so.

Once he was gone, Amriel walked over to Metatron and helped him up, brushing the debris off of him once he was standing.

"Cas… Has some stuff he still needs to work out from when he was human. Your goading was uncalled for and rude," the blonde chided.

"What is it like, sharing a grace with another angel? What was the process like?" Metatron asked, his eyes wide with wonder, wishing he was an angel so he could see Amriel's grace now.

"It was unlike anything I've ever experienced before. Castiel and I are connected in ways neither of us have completely figured out. It'll take time, but we're still learning," she answered with a slight shrug. "It just feels  _right_."

Amriel reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, healing him of the injuries Cas had given him. She didn't want him to suffer more than he already had, despite everything he had done.

"Lay low, don't do anything to draw attention to yourself, or other angels will be all over you. They won't be as merciful as Castiel," she warned. "Goodbye, Metatron."

She turned and left, only to find Cas waiting for her next to the car, an exhausted look on his face.

"What took you so long?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his chest.

"Just warning him to stay put and not do anything stupid," Amriel mumbled into his neck, breathing in his comforting scent and sighing. "Want me to drive?"

* * *

Dean was less than thrilled that they had let Metatron go. He had voiced his displeasure more than once, and the angels were annoyed with him for not being able to let it go.

"How many times are you gonna repeat that question?" Cas asked as they all stood in the war room of the bunker.

"I'm gonna say it again," Dean glared, his voice rising as he yelled, "You let Metatron go!"

"He's not going anywhere," Amriel told him.

"If he makes a move, if he draws the slightest attention, the full force of angelkind would snuff him out," Cas explained. "Look, you- neither of you saw him. He's a human, and a pitiable one at that."

"He has bed bugs," Amriel threw in, "He's not a threat to us."

"Guys, we have bigger fish to fry here," Sam tried to get them all to focus on something more important. "Amara is in the wind."

"Yeah, God's freaking  _sister_ ," Dean groaned.

"You said you were close. Dean, how'd she get away?" Cas raised an eyebrow at the Winchester, who paled slightly.

"Sorry, but what part of  _God's freaking sister_  did you not understand?" he snapped, "She overpowered me, end of story."

The three looked at Dean warily, but he brushed their looks off and asked them what their plan was.

"We got what we could out of Metatron," Amriel told him with a small shrug, "Where else can we find a way to stop her?"

"I'll look into the lore," Sam said with a sigh before walking off to the library.

Dean disappeared not long after Sam did, muttering something about needing a beer, leaving the pair of angels alone.

"Do you think we could help by searching for holy documents regarding the Darkness?" Amriel asked, "I think there are some spread across the globe, Gaza, for sure…"

"Anything we can do to help," Cas nodded. "Let's start looking at flights."


	44. The Darkness

Cas and Amriel had traveled the world gathering up any documents they could find about the Darkness and sending photos back to the Winchesters. In return, Sam had been telling Amriel that he was seeing Lucifer, which was causing her a lot of concern. They had been through Gaza and Rome, but returned to Kansas after receiving word that all of the angels in Heaven had tried to smite the Darkness.

They found Dean sitting against of the parked Impala on the side of a deserted road, looking like he was going to pass out at any moment.

"Dean?" Castiel called as the angels approached him cautiously. "We came as soon as you called. Are you alright?"

The Winchester mumbled Cas' name before turning away and throwing up whatever is left in his stomach, and Amriel winces before looking away in an attempt to give him some sort of privacy.

Cas helped Dean sit back up, saying that he clearly wasn't alright.

"Obviously," Dean rolled his eyes as he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. "What's wrong with me?"

Amriel watched Cas place his hand on Dean's forehead and look into his eyes, asking him to stick out his tongue.

"Alright, are we done?" Dean asked, and Cas shook his head, holding up a finger.

"Let me take your temperature."

"Nope," Dean pushed Cas' finger away, "That's not gonna happen."

"How far are we away from the event?" Amriel asked, looking back in the direction Dean had apparently come from.

"You mean the angel nuke?" Dean wanted her to clarify, and she nodded. "Ground zero is about a mile down that way."

"That explains it," Cas mused. "You're suffering from smiting sickness."

"That.. that's a thing?" Dean asked, confusion all over his face.

"The angels released a tremendous amount of energy," Amriel explained as she watched Cas continue to crouch beside Dean. "There's fallout, so this entire area is poisoned."

"Well you can heal me, right?" Dean looked between the two angels, who both shook their heads.

"No, we can't, and the closer you get to the blast site the worse your sickness will become," Castiel told him. "Dean, you need to go back."

"Ah, no," the Winchester shut him down as he tried to stand. "Nope. We gotta see if it worked… see if Amara is alive or dead."

" _We_  don't," Cas motioned between Dean and himself. "The fallout doesn't affect angels. Amriel and I will go in together."

Dean looks like he's about to vomit again, and Amriel rushes to his side to help him stand.

"Maybe one of us should stay with him?" she suggested, "You stay here. I'll go and see if I can find Amara."

"I'll take a drive and go check on Sam," Dean nodded, "I don't need Cas to babysit me. You two stick together."

The Winchester looked between the angels, squinting briefly and frowning, "There's something different about you two…"

"We'll be going now, Dean. If you need anything, please call us," Amriel changed the subject.

"Fine. But if it did work and she is dead, bring her body out," Dean said as he fished his keys out of his pocket.

"And if she's not?" Amriel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Run," he answered plainly before getting into the Impala and taking off.

* * *

At the epicenter of the smiting, the pair found an enormous hole in the ground, still burning and smoldering. Amriel frowned as she looked around the wooded area, noticing that even though it was only 4 p.m., it seemed like it was nighttime.

She felt Cas tense from a few feet ahead of her and stopped in her tracks, watching as a young woman appeared out of nowhere. Drawing her blade just like Cas had done, Amriel quickly moved to stand beside him, noticing the way the energy between the two of them seemed to stir at the threat.

"Who are you?" Cas asked, looking at the young woman wearing glasses and a coat.

"Ambriel," the woman answered quickly, "I work in birth/death certificates, in Heaven. I'm… I'm an angel."

"Yeah, I know," Cas deadpanned, and Amriel had to hold back a laugh.

"And you're Castiel… And Amriel," she looked between the two, "I've heard stories about you both."

Amriel asked why she was there, and Ambriel told them that Heaven wanted to know if the Darkness had been destroyed. Ambriel thought that Cas was going to kill her, and insisted that they work together so that no one murdered the other.

"I've searched the East end of the forest. Nothing weird there," Ambriel told them, and Amriel actually laughed this time.

"Are you sure about that?" the blonde asked. "You do know it's the middle of the afternoon, right?"

"Sooo?" Ambriel asked, and Cas shook his head and sighed, " _So_ , why is it dark?"

They walked through the forest in silence for a while, but Cas finally broke their quiet and said that he never wanted to be hated by the angels.

"Oh no, I don't hate you Castiel," Ambriel told him quickly, coming to a stop to turn and look at him, "I mean, we have a lot in common. Our names rhyme, and so does Amriel's! That's a big one. I look good in a trench coat too, and we're both expendable. I'm not so sure about Amriel, though."

"Excuse me?" Cas asked, and Amriel narrowed her gaze as the other angel went on about how he may help, but Sam and Dean were the real heroes. How if the Darkness was still alive and if she was upset and killed them, that it wouldn't be a big deal.

"Sure, maybe we're not super important, but we do the job. You know, I think there's nobility in that," Ambriel said with a shrug. She made to keep going, asking if they were coming.

"We'll catch up," Cas answered for them, and Ambriel didn't say anything as she continued the search.

"Cas…" Amriel started, but he raised a hand, signaling for her to stop. But she didn't. "Don't believe anything she said, okay? She's a  _number cruncher_ , what would she know?"

"She's been in Heaven recently- I'm sure she knows far more than either of us," he said as he stared at the ground.

Amriel took his hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing gently.

"You are not 're my other half," she smiled up at him, making sure she caught his gaze as she continued, "I kinda need you."

"Only kind of?" Cas asked, trying not to smile but doing so anyways.

"I mean... Kinda in the sense that you mean the entire universe to me and it would cease to exist if you were gone, soooo?" she mimicked Ambriel.

"So, I'm not disposable then," he finally said, and Amriel nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

A scream cut through the air and they both turned to look in the direction it came from, knowing it was Ambriel.

"Stay here, don't move. I'll call when it's safe," Cas said firmly, pressing a kiss to Amriel's forehead before taking off through the forest, sprinting as fast as he could until he reached a clearing.

The first thing he noticed is that it's daytime again, and Amara is absorbing Ambriel's grace. She dropped the body to the ground and looked up at the sky before looking towards the angel.

"Castiel?" she asked, and he stared at her for a moment.

"Amara, what did you do to her?" he asked, reaching into his trench coat as she took a deep breath.

"I consumed her. Her grace, her spark, her memories, everything, and oh, she really hit the spot," the dark haired woman grinned as Cas got out his angel blade. "Seriously? I mean, Heaven brought the thunder and it barely even scratched my paint job. But you and your shiny knife, sure, that's gonna work."

"You think I'm afraid to die?" Cas asked her, noticing the way she sounded like Dean when she spoke.

"I  _know_  you are. You reek of fear and self loathing," she paused for a moment, and Castiel watched as she stared at him with a glint of recognition in her eyes, "and love? Hmm, it does seem that you have  _two_  graces running through you. But where is your other half? I'd quite like to meet her."

Cas raised his blade to strike her, but Amara grabbed his arm and flung him against a tree, causing him to fall to the ground.

"She's right you know. You're expendable and weak. And why God took a special interest in you, I'll never understand. My brother always did have horrible taste in men," she frowned, "But I, on the other hand, have excellent taste. Which is why I'm going to find your little partner once I'm done here and introduce myself. It's been a long time coming."

"Just do it," Cas hissed, trying to send any message he could to Amriel without drawing Amara's attention, trying to let her know that he loved her before he died.

"Blue Eyes, you're not even worth the effort," Amara said as she brushed her fingers against the stubble lining his cheek, "And no offense, but you look a bit used up. Plus, I don't think your other half would be happy with me if I killed you."

Amara set her hand on his chest and sent him off in a blinding light. She heard a cry somewhere in the forest, and tried to stand, having to lean against a tree for support.

"There you are, little one. It's time we met."

* * *

When Amriel felt Cas reaching out to her through their shared grace she knew something was wrong. Then she heard him screaming and she  _felt_  him being sent away, she released her own shriek too, falling to her knees in the process.

" _Cas!_ " she gasped, hoping that he wasn't dead. He felt far away, but at least he was alive.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice the footsteps approaching her, or the woman in a long, black gown coming to stand in front of her.

"Hello, Amriel," a voice called, and the blonde looked up to see a woman with dark hair staring down at her with a fond smile. "Now, I don't have much time- I have to send you to your partner soon or else he'll do something  _very_  stupid that you're better equipped to handle."

"W-what do you want?" Amriel asked, watching Amara carefully as she leaned down and helped her up. "Why are you here?"

"My brother may have taken a special interest in Castiel, but I was very fond of you the moment you were created. I would feel very proud of yourself, little one, since I don't exactly  _like_  angels," she told the blonde with a small smile. "When God was trying to choose who would eventually oversee Heaven after him, he, like most idiotic men, thought that one could rule the cosmos alone.  _I_ , on the other hand, had the  _brilliant idea_  of two. After all, spending all of eternity alone is  _not_  as fun as it sounds. And so, we each picked one. My brother wasn't thrilled, but I insisted since it was my idea. Thus, you were my choice. Pragmatic, thoughtful, fierce, protective.  _He_  chose Castiel, a warrior, yet uncertain of himself, loyal to a fault. Then I was sent away, and you and Castiel were left to find one another. I can't believe it's taken so long."

"Well, Father didn't leave any instructions when he up and left," Amriel said bitterly. "If this was planned, is my love for Cas even real? Is it genuine, or manufactured because we were simply chosen?"

"Honestly, it would've happened regardless," Amara shrugged, "We chose from pairs of angels that were created to balance each other. I gravitated to your light, which was surprising. You're far more beautiful than I remembered. And when we saw what it would be like when the two of you became part of each other, we knew it was right. It was so  _bright_ , so  _perfect._  Just seeing you separately is breathtaking. I would love to see you both together. Maybe someday..."

Amriel felt uncomfortable as Amara trailed off as she ran a hand over the top of her head and down to her cheek and chin, tilting her face so she was staring up at her.

"I'm going to send you to him, and it might hurt. I hope to see you again, Amriel."

Before the blonde had a chance to reply, Amara pressed her hand to Amriel's chest and the next thing she knew she was on the floor of a room she didn't recognize.

"Oh not again," a voice said with a sigh.


	45. Yes

"Where am I?" Amriel asked, getting up and looking around before settling her gaze on the reaper before her. "Where is Castiel?"

"Yeah, nice to meet you too. I'm Billie, and you're in Hell," the reaper said with a roll of her eyes, "Come on, he's this way."

Amriel was led to a room where she saw Cas, Dean, Crowley, and Rowena. The witch is busy working on a spell, while Cas is showing Crowley and Dean something written on his chest.

"What's going on?" Amriel voiced her presence, making Cas turn so she could see  _I AM COMING_  seared into his skin.

"Lucifer has Sam next door and is trying to get him to say yes," Dean explained quickly, "Witchy here is trying to cook up a spell to keep him in the cage so we can get Sam out."

"Sam will  _not_  say yes to Lucifer- I won't let him," Amriel hissed, glancing toward the door Dean had motioned to when he explained where Sam was.

Shouting came from behind the door, and Amriel was quick to move, Dean calling out his brother's name while Crowley shouted, "Don't!"

"Cas, stay here. Make sure she finishes the spell," Dean yelled over his shoulder as he and Amriel ran into the room to find Lucifer punching Sam until he realized that he had company.

"Welcome to the party," Lucifer said after he snapped, bringing the two outsiders into the metal cage with him and Sam.

Sam was gasping and choking on blood, leaning heavily against the bars of the cell, trying to collect himself while Lucifer was busy with Dean and Amriel.

"Scared?" Lucifer asks the older Winchester, ignoring the blonde.

"Not even a little," Dean shook his head, and Amriel pulled out her angel blade, ready to protect her charge.

"Ah, ah, ah, moments like this, it's all about ambiance," Lucifer snapped and  _Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel_  starts playing. He started to dance, horribly in Amriel's opinion, and she moved to stab him.

Lucifer grabbed her by the waist with one arm, swinging her around and pushing her up against the bars, taking the opportunity to have a one on one chat with her while Dean was distracted with his brother.

"I can beat the Darkness," he whispered in her ear, and Amriel tried to shrug him off of her. "Me.  _Only_  me."

Amriel struggled against his hold, lifting one foot against a bar to get some leverage and pushed back against the archangel, knowing that she definitely couldn't beat him.

"You know I'm right, Amriel," Lucifer told her, "Where's Castiel at? I'm sure he would vouch for me…"

She continued to struggle, getting an arm free so she could thrust it back and into his stomach.

"Oh, so you wanna play that way?" Lucifer heaved a sigh and turned her around to face him, punching her once and sending her back into the bars. "I was  _trying_  to be nice!"

Amriel tried to defend herself as best she could, but Lucifer seemed to have fun punching her until she was unable to hold herself up.

Dean and Sam finally joined the fight, trying to keep Lucifer at bay until Rowena could finish the spell. She heard Castiel's voice from the other side of the room, asking if she was okay, asking how he could help as Lucifer fought the Winchesters.

"Get out of here, Cas!" she yelled, getting herself up off of the floor and grasping her blade tightly.

She charged at Lucifer again, giving Dean the opportunity to get out of his grasp. Lucifer rolled his eyes and punched her again, forcing her to the ground and standing over her. He set a foot on top of her blade and grinned, "So, last words?"

"Leave her alone, Lucifer!" Cas called out, watching the archangel as he towered over his wife, when a blinding flash of light suddenly filled the cell.

When the light died down, Lucifer is gone, leaving Amriel, Sam, and Dean in the cell with Cas standing outside of it.

The four returned to the room where Rowena and Crowley were, disheveled and exhausted.

"You're welcome…. Anyone?" Rowena looked at all of them.

"Bite me!" Dean snapped, and Crowley chuckled.

"So what now?" Sam asked, and Crowley said that he didn't have a clue.

Dean told him that they'd figure it out, shrugging and rolling his shoulder, trying to relieve the pain.

"This has been a horrible train wreck, so we're done," Crowley told them. "Team up  _over_."

"So what about her?" Sam motioned to Rowena, who was watching them all with wide eyes.

"She stays," the demon said quickly. "The rest of you lot.. Get the hell out of Hell."

The four emerged onto the street where the Impala was parked, and Cas was immediately in front of Amriel, looking her over and asking if she was alright.

"I'm fine, Cas," she said with a small smile, looking over his shoulder at the brothers, who were watching very intently.

"You want me to give you lovebirds a lift?" Dean asked, and Amriel shook her head in response.

"No, you go on ahead. Cas, you should go with them. I- I have some things to sort through," she said.

Dean nodded and headed over to the Impala, but Castiel lingered in front of her, a frown on his face.

"Are you sure you want to be alone right now?" Cas asked, setting a gentle hand on her shoulder and squeezing carefully.

"Yeah, I just… I need some time, okay?" Amriel looked up at him and put her hand on top of his. "I'll be fine."

Castiel nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead before heading off toward the car. Sam gave them a half-salute goodbye, and Cas and the brothers got into the car and drove off.

* * *

In Hell, Crowley was seated in a chair and Rowena was standing, massaging his temples.

She was telling her son about how much she hated him, how love was weakness, and she would never be weak again, when the door burst open and Amriel walked into the room.

"Amriel?" Crowley asked, watching the blonde run a hand through her hair before stuffing her hands in the back pockets of her denim shorts.

"Guess again," she smirked.

Crowley stares at her for a few moments, realization hitting him, "No."

"Lucifer," Rowena purred, and the archangel bowed dramatically.

"I'm back, baby!" Lucifer laughed.

"You can't be," Crowley gaped before looking to Rowena, "You finished the spell!"

"But if he was already in another vessel…" Rowena trailed off.

"Loophole!" Lucifer cheered, a grin spread across his new vessel's face.

"Bloody Hell," Crowley breathed before trying to make a move to the door, but Lucifer threw out an arm and sent him up against the far wall.

"Ooh, Rowena," Lucifer crooned, approaching the witch so their bodies were nearly touching, raising a hand and trailing his fingers along her cheek and jaw.

"My liege," she said lowly, staring up into the blonde's gray eyes, noting how completely different they looked now that Lucifer was in control. How much darker, and sinister they were.

"You know, what you've done for me, I'll never forget it," the archangel spoke quietly, reaching around and removing the witch-catcher device from around her neck.

"Twas my honor," Rowena sighed as the device was removed.

"Yes, twas… You deserve a reward." Lucifer trailed a finger down the bridge of her nose, then across her lips and said, "Or  _some_  little token of my affection. Have you ever been with a woman before?"

"Thank you… I can't say that I have," Rowena said, breathless, as Lucifer's cheek rested against hers.

He leaned in as though to kiss the witch, but backed away before their lips could touch, "Oh, just one  _teensy tiny_  little question. Can anyone else open the Cage?"

"Just me," she answered, and Lucifer nodded, resting his cheek against hers again. He grabbed her face and swiftly snapped her neck. Against the wall, Crowley flinched and watched in terror as his mother fell to the ground.

Lucifer sighed before turning to face Crowley, "Okay, let's chat."

"H-how? How did you manage to hide yourself from Castiel?" Crowley stammered as Lucifer approached him.

"I'm the Devil, I have a  _few_  tricks up my sleeve," Lucifer grinned. "Now, you and I have a lot to discuss."

* * *

Lucifer stood at the edge of a lake after laying down a few ground rules with Crowley, feeding the birds that were gathered around. He heaved a sigh, not liking the feeling of being in such a small vessel. Amriel inhabited a girl that was rather tiny, standing at probably 5'6" or 5'7", but Lucifer had to give it to the angel- the vessel was pretty. He had already used this to his advantage, getting insignificant humans to give him free liquor to take the edge off of being so trapped.

He could hear Amriel cursing at him from the place he had confined her to, a memory of the bunker where he had set her up with Netflix and a big screen TV.

"I thought I told you to be quiet and let me do what I need to do," he grumbled to himself as he sat down on a bench.

A man in a gray suit walked over and sat on the other bench, and Lucifer noticed the way he looks around nervously. The archangel got up and walked towards a nature path, well aware that the man had followed.

Lucifer walked down the path, whistling until he came to a stop in front of an enormous oak tree. The man in the suit approached him from behind, an angel blade in hand.

"Out of all the parks in the world, I pick one with an angel in it," Lucifer sighed.

The two went back and forth, Lucifer telling the angel that he was there to take down the Darkness, but the angel didn't believe him and tried to attack him. Lucifer had ended the fight with a snap of his fingers, making the angel explode and covering him in blood.

"Ugh. Great. Now I have to go  _shopping_ ," Lucifer groaned, wiping some blood off of his face with his hand and then licking his fingers clean.

The phone in his pocket vibrated and he rolled his eyes, knowing exactly who the notification was from. Castiel had been blowing up his wife's phone, whether it was with texts or phone calls, and Lucifer had tried to keep their contact to a minimum, but not so infrequent that he would suspect anything.

He had gone through all of their messages and quickly picked up on her texting style- full sentences, punctuation. Very thorough and detailed when describing her activities and all of the  _mundane_  things she thought he would enjoy, like a sunset she had sent him a photo of, or the way she described an interaction between a woman and herself at a nail salon.

Lucifer pulled out the phone and read the message,  _Are you ok? Miss you, call me soon.,_  and quickly tapped out a response,  _I'm doing much better. I miss you too. I'm on my way back to the bunker and should be there tomorrow. See you then._

With another roll of his eyes, Lucifer stuffed the phone back into the tiny pocket, mumbling about how women's clothing wasn't practical whatsoever. He snapped his fingers and all of the blood from the former angel was gone and the clothes were clean.

"Well, off to the bunker I suppose," Lucifer said to himself, and then the park was empty.

* * *

The archangel turned the bunker upside down looking for anything that would help him kill Amara. He had spent hours going through boxes, file cabinets, papers, books, and anything he could get his hands on, but couldn't find anything.

He was frustrated, annoyed, and ready to take off and disappear when he heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Hey!" Dean Winchester's voice rang out, and Lucifer tried not to tense up as he felt the presence of Castiel somewhere in the bunker as well.

"Hello Dean," Lucifer answered, slowly turning around to see him lowering his gun.

"Right, Cas said you were headed this way," Dean sighed. "We don't hear from you for days, you show up, you start wrecking the joint. What's going on?"

Castiel came into the room now, and Lucifer watched his eyes light up at the sight of the blonde vessel he was wearing.

"So you gonna explain what all of this is?" Dean asked, motioning to the boxes and papers strewn across the table.

"I'm- I'm looking for a spell, something to draw Amara out, but there's…" Lucifer paused, "There's nothing. After she had sent Cas away, she found me… and  _talked_  to me. She was weak, and I didn't kill her."

"Wait, what?" Cas asked, taking a step forward, and Lucifer tried to hide how uncomfortable he was with the closeness.

"I don't know- but there has to be something," Lucifer said, pitching his voice so he would sound hopeful. "How many more chances are we gonna get?"

Dean told him about the two shots he had at killing Amara and how he had frozen up each time. He had gone to his room to grab something, leaving Lucifer alone with Castiel, who had a look of concern all over his face.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked, and Lucifer nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm fine, Cas. Just a little shaken up after fighting Lucifer," the archangel lied easily, "I need some time, though."

Before Castiel could ask for clarification, Dean came back and placed a wooden box on the table.

Dean explained that more than the Mark connected him to Amara, and Lucifer correctly guessed that it was attraction. The Winchester unwrapped a golden blade from a cloth inside of the box, holding it up and showing it to the angels.

"A connection, attraction, I gotta tell you. It scares me," Dean admitted. "I don't know that I can stop it. I don't know that I can resist it."

Cas frowned and Lucifer set a hand on Dean's shoulder, careful to make it very platonic in front of Amriel's  _husband_.

"It scares me and Cas too, but we  _will_  find out what this is, I promise," Lucifer said with a false determination. "In the end, it may help draw her out. This could be a good thing!"

Dean's phone started to ring, and when he got off the call with Sam, he told the angels that he had to get back to his brother.

Once he was gone, Lucifer was left alone with Castiel and he was filled with a tiny amount of dread. He had been hoping that the trench coat-clad idiot would have gone with his bestie, but it looked like he was wrong.

Cas smiled when he realized they were alone, taking Amriel's hand and pulling her into him in a tight hug.

"I missed you, Elle," he mumbled into her hair, squeezing her and breathing in the smell of her shampoo. He noticed that it didn't smell like her usual scent, but shook it off and let her go, watching her take a step back and smile slightly.

"I know, I missed you too," she answered in a soft voice, her expression going from happiness to something that looked like guilt. "But, I have to get back to searching for a way to find Amara. When… When she sent you to Hell, she found me. She told me that when G-  _Father_  was trying to figure out who would take over after he left, she suggested two. He apparently chose you, and  _Amara_  chose me. I want to find her and ask her why… I just want to know what we're supposed to do."

Cas stared down at Amriel, confusion filling his entire being. Amara had played a role in their fates?

"How about we split up?" the blonde proposed. "You search for ways to kill Amara, I search for ways to find her?"

"I really don't want to be apart from you," Cas frowned, "But, I understand.  _Divide and conquer_ , and so on. You'll keep in contact with me though, right?"

"Of course, Cas. Plus, distance makes the heart grow fonder, you know," she said with a laugh. "You can take the car. I'll clean up here then head to the bus station since I know you don't like buses."

Castiel nodded in agreement with her plan, taking her hand and leading her up the stairs and out of the bunker. They stood outside of the gold Lincoln and he leaned in to kiss her, surprised when she turned her face so he ended up kissing her rosy cheek.

"Text me if you find anything, okay?" she asked. "Stay safe."

"I will if you will. I love you, Amriel," Cas smiled, opening the car door and getting in.

"Love you too, Cas," Amriel answered in an airy voice, and he flashed her a grin in response before starting the car and driving off with a final wave.

"What a moron.  _Love you too, Cas_ ," Lucifer mimicked in a high-pitched voice, rolling his eyes before snapping his fingers and disappearing.


	46. There's Something Wrong With Amriel

Lucifer tapped around on an iPad, draped lazily on the throne that once belonged to Crowley.

He had chosen to wear a more fitting outfit for his attractive,  _female_  vessel, now donning an expensive, thin strapped, deep red dress that left little to the imagination. The female human body was a wonderful tool of distraction, and Lucifer had no issues with using that to his advantage. The clerk at the high-end shop had let him walk out wearing it- not that he had planned on paying anyways. Lucifer hummed as he thought about what else he could do with his new vessel, ignoring the demons that stood before him in an awkward silence, until finally a brave one approached the Prince of Darkness.

"Uh… Sir? Would you like to hear the latest soul numbers?" the demon asked, and Lucifer shook his head.

"No, because I don't care," he answered casually, not looking up from the iPad.

"How about an update on Amara?" the same demon continued, and this time, Lucifer looked up with interest. "Well the update is… There is no update. We still haven't found-"

Another demon, Simmons, interrupted, "Sir, if I may. Since you've claimed the throne, we could use some direction."

Lucifer rolled his eyes as Simmons continued, " _Any_  direction. We could deploy a force! Real boots on the ground, shake some trees to find her! With you leading the charge, of course. We have had a coward and a fool, at the helm for too long."

A muffled noise came from somewhere nearby, and Lucifer looked towards it, shushing Simmons who was still trying to talk.

"Doggy wants to speak," Lucifer smirked, motioning for one of the demons to open a cage door that was off to the side of the chamber they were in. "Now, do you have the weapons I asked for earlier?"

Demons presented him with weapons he had requested from his crypt, and Lucifer was disappointed with what he had been brought.

Crowley rolled out dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and khaki pants, and Lucifer watched carefully as the demons all stared at their former king.

"That's a good doggy," Lucifer said with a small grin on his face as he rose from his throne, walking over to where Crowley sat. "How are your wounds, doggy?"

"They are… no less than I deserve," Crowley finally answered, and Lucifer gave a pleased hum, scratching the demon's head affectionately.

Lucifer asked Crowley what kind of treasonous thoughts were running through his head, nodding when Crowley asked if he wanted the truth.

Crowley replied that he wasn't strong enough- that even though he'd had weapons delivered that he thought could defeat Amara, he realized they wouldn't be enough.

"If you thought you could beat Amara, you'd be taking the fight to her! Right now." Crowley finished, and Lucifer stared down at the demon thoughtfully.

"You're a clever little doggy," Lucifer patted him on the head again. "You're right. At the moment, I may be a bit under-equipped. Maybe defeating Amara is a bit more of a  _team effort_  than I led certain people to believe. All that said, I'm still your master. Did I let you out of that kennel too soon?"

Lucifer heard the familiar ringing of a phone going off on the throne he had been seated in, and he picked up the device, looking down at the name on the screen and smiling.

"No…" Crowley whispered, knowing exactly who it would be.

"No barking. It's showtime," Lucifer snapped before answering the phone, grimacing as he sat down in the throne and pitched his voice to imitate Amriel. "Hi Sam."

* * *

Cas was worried. His communication with Amriel was minimal- over the past few weeks she only texted him if he reached out first. Her answers were short, to the point, and she didn't engage him. He had given up on calling after being sent to voicemail a dozen times.

At first he had been searching diligently for a way to kill Amara, keeping in touch with the Winchesters periodically to give them updates. But as it seemed apparent that he wasn't going to find anything, he had slowly started to give up, spending less time researching and more time watching Netflix.

Sam had found information about a possible weapon called  _The Hand of God_  that had been stolen by Nazis and lost on the way to Berlin. A woman named Delphine had made off with the weapon, and was allegedly a Women of Letters. She had escaped on a submarine that sank halfway through its trip across the Atlantic. Cas told Sam to call Amriel and let her know, since she wasn't taking his calls.

" _She hasn't been in contact with you?"_  Sam asked, and Cas shook his head as he scrolled through Netflix on the laptop.

"No, and it's causing me some concern. She'll respond when I text her, but I don't know… Perhaps her fight with Lucifer has really affected her?"

" _Well, I can give her a call. Would you be able to come to the bunker and help us out with this Hand of God thing?"_  Sam sounded desperate on the other end of the line, making Castiel frown.

"I'm rather far from the bunker. How about asking Amriel if you can get in touch with her?" Cas offered, "I'll finish up what I'm doing here in New Mexico, then reconvene with you all in Lebanon."

" _That's fine. I'll call and let you know if I get through to her,"_  Sam said, and the two said their goodbyes before hanging up.

"Well, I guess I'll start season three of  _Dexter_ ," Cas mumbled to himself, clicking on the title and starting the next episode.

* * *

Sam was surprised when Amriel had answered his call after his talk with Cas. He was even more shocked when she showed up to the bunker not an hour later, claiming that she had been on her way to begin with.

Dean had been the one to ask about the  _revealing_  red dress she had been wearing, since Sam had glued his eyes to the papers in front of him since she had walked in.

"I, uh- I was taking some photos for Cas when Sam called and didn't really have time to change- I can if it's making you both uncomfortable?" Amriel shot Sam a pointed look, and the man coughed and nodded.

When Amriel returned wearing a pair of shorts and a plain, white t-shirt, Sam and Dean filled her in on everything they had discovered about Delphine and this object.

"There were several God-touched objects, but I never thought that any of them survived the flood, let alone the twentieth century," she said, trailing off as she looked over photos that were taped to a whiteboard.

"Do you think we can use it against Amara?" Sam asked, and Amriel nodded.

"It's perfect. I can get you back there," she said confidently.

"Without wings? Amriel, you can't teleport.  _Cas_  can't teleport," Sam was confused, staring up at the angel from his seat.

"Time travel is a… It's a whole different system," she explained, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Told ya!" Dean yelped, shooting his brother a triumphant look.

"So, these are the last coordinates?" Amriel asked as she tapped a map on the board, and Dean nodded.

"That's the Bluefin's last transmission to shore, yeah," the older Winchester answered, and she nodded thoughtfully.

"Wait a second, aren't there still risks with time travel?" Sam asked, "I mean, aren't there consequences?"

"Sam, this is the ideal scenario," Dean argued. "That sub is a tin can floating in the middle of the ocean doomed to go down. You can't really mess with history at 20,000 leagues. So we get in, get the weapon, get out. It's a milk run."

"That's not a very good plan," Sam huffed, and he saw Amriel roll her eyes in his peripheral.

"Well, if things get outta hand, then Blondie will just zap me right back," Dean reasoned, and then the brothers bickered over who was and wasn't going back in time.

"I won't let him out of my sight, Sam," Amriel intervened, setting her hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently. "I promise."

"Fine. Be safe," Sam resigned, "But I'm gonna call and tell Cas what's going on, just in case."

"Don't worry about it," Amriel said quickly, moving over to stand next to Dean as she spoke. "I talked to him on my way over here and he's pretty busy with his own stuff in Fresno."

"Wait, I thought Cas was in New Mexico?" Sam asked, shooting the blonde a confused look, noticing her eyes widen for a split second before a look of realization crossed her face.

"Oh, right. He was in Fresno last week. He's been all over the place lately, I can hardly keep track," she said with a small shrug.

"Let's do this, Blondie," Dean said before sending a nod to his brother and grinning, "Bon voyage!"

Amriel set her hand on Dean's shoulder and then the two were gone.

* * *

"I don't know Cas, she seems a little off, but maybe she's just in a rut or something?" Sam said as he was on the phone with the angel, who was still in New Mexico, a few hours after Dean and Amriel had traveled through time. "She came to the bunker wearing this.. This  _dress_  and said she had been taking pictures to send to you. Then she said you two had talked earlier and that you were in  _Fresno_ … Maybe she's just stressed about this finding Amara thing?"

" _I- I don't know either. This is concerning, though."_  Cas said, and Sam could hear him rifling through papers. " _I'm going to finish up here and get on the road. Try and keep her at the bunker until I arrive."_

Sam hadn't told him about how she and Dean had gone back to 1943, so he said that he would try before hanging up as the door to the bunker opened.

A soaking wet Amriel walked down the stairs, dripping water everywhere. Sam stared at her for a few seconds, noticing that her white shirt was completely see through. He quickly looked back down at the photograph of the USS Bluefin he had been inspecting in a book, trying not to seem too embarrassed.

"Amriel? Why are you here- wait a second. Where's Dean?" Sam asked when he didn't hear another set of footsteps.

"We made the leap," she answered with a sigh. "He got on, I didn't."

"Wait,  _what?_ " Sam gaped, and Amriel said she couldn't make it past the hull.

"Someone must've warded the ship!" she growled, taking the towel Sam had offered out of his hands and leaning against the table as she wiped herself off.

"Delphine? It has to be, I mean she's protecting the weapon, right?" Sam asked, "Amriel, just go back to their last port, before she boarded! Leave a message so Dean knows!"

"Where?" Amriel asked condescendingly. "Where would Dean see it that the crew wouldn't? He's as likely to find the warding as he is any message I'd leave him."

"Then send me! You got Dean past the hull" Sam tried, but she shook her head as she toweled her long hair.

"Right. We'll double down on what screwed us the first time. You're  _really_  bringing your A-ideas today. I can't believe I lost it," she sighed, but then quickly corrected herself, "Him. I can't believe I lost Dean. Well, it's up to him now to find and clear the warding."

Sam stared at Amriel as she sat at the table, saying that they could help. That there had to be something in magic or angel lore that they could find to clear the warding.

"We'll call Cas and tell him to hurry up if we have to. He's finishing up in New Mexico and he'll be on his way anyways," Sam told her, and Amriel froze, staring up at Sam with a look in her eyes that he had never seen before.

"I told you I could handle this myself!" she hissed. "I don't need Castiel to help me all the time! I'm not as weak as everyone seems to think I am!"

"Is that why you've been so distant? Why you haven't been calling Cas? Why you lied about calling him? What was the deal with that dress anyways? What have you been up to?" Sam continued to ask her questions until she finally answered.

"I've been looking for a way to kill Amara! I've been using this vessel as a means to an end, and I didn't need Castiel telling me that I shouldn't be using this attractive body to get the answers we're looking for!" she snapped. "We're not always attached at the hip, you know."

Amriel hung her head, and Sam was taken aback by her outburst. Unsure of what to say, he suggested that they start looking through the lore.

* * *

Lucifer was sick of reading books. He was sick of pretending to be this meek little angel that only got fired up when at her wit's end. So he was glad when Sam came into the main room of the bunker holding a book, saying that he had found something.

"The spell of gathering," Sam read from the book as he sat beside the archangel. "It's an incantation used to focus the power of celestial beings,  _angels_ , against all drawn forms of evasion. The spell is designed to clear all mystical or occult blockages. I mean, this is highly theoretical magic, never been used before, but it sounds like it could work."

"And the ingredients?" Lucifer asked, and Sam read over the list.

"Uh, all but one. That's why it's never been used before, it requires the power of an archangel," Sam said, closing the book and running his hand over his face in disappointment.

"Well Sam, we might as well try," Lucifer said as he stared down at the table in thought.

"We don't have time for long shots, Amriel. Even at full power and connected to Heaven's host you wouldn't be powerful enough."

 _So_ , Lucifer thought to himself,  _Sam and Dean didn't know that the two angels had shared their graces_. If Amriel and her trench coat wearing husband performed the spell together, they would probably be able to succeed. But  _he_  was an archangel.  _He_  could do this alone.

Sam got up and headed towards the kitchen, leaving Lucifer alone at the table. He opened the book again and turned to the spell, memorizing the ingredients and heading off into the bunker to find them.

By the time Sam came back, Lucifer had cut up ingredients for the spell and put them into a metal bowl in front of him.

"Hey Elle, what's this for?" Sam asked, and Lucifer glanced up at him before going back to cutting.

"It's your spell of gathering," he answered simply, shrugging as if it was obvious.

"Are you nuts? You're not strong enough, Amriel, you could get hurt!"

"Did you find a better option?" Lucifer snapped back, and Sam frowned in response.

"Well, no, but.. Without a serious boost to your angel power, that spell won't even work!" Sam tried to reason.

"My strength may surprise you," Lucifer answered calmly as he continued to work.

"Wait a second… I remember Bobby told me that when Cas needed strength to retrieve us from the past, he used him to power up. He touched his soul, I think," Sam said quickly, and Lucifer nodded.

"That's right, he told me about that. But that procedure can be fatal, Sam," he said in response.

"Use my soul. That way maybe you'll have enough power to wield the spell," Sam continued to try and convince the archangel.

"That isn't necessary. You're my charge, I can't let anything happen to you," Lucifer said in as genuine a voice he could muster, even though he wanted nothing more than to hurt Sam.

"It's worth the risk, Amriel. Dean needs our help, and I trust you with my life."

Lucifer listened to the desperation in his voice and couldn't take it anymore. He smiled, unable to help himself as he started to laugh.

"What?" Sam asked, clearly confused.

"Oh, it's just… I don't need you anymore. I mean, Dean's the one with the link to Amara, why have I been trying to spare you?" Lucifer shook his head, a wide smile on his vessel's pink lips as he let his voice slip out of Amriel's and into a lower tone. "I mean, maybe it's because you're like the girl who kept turning me down at the prom."

Lucifer grabbed Sam and slammed him up of one of the bunker's support columns.

"I  _will_  touch your soul. Just because you asked me so nicely, and I'll use your spell to blast through the warding to retrieve Dean and the uh- Hand of God, and then when Dean comes back and he finds the place decorated with your guts, I'll tell him the truth, Sam. I'll just say,  _Dean-_ " Lucifer paused and smiled before putting on Amriel's voice again. " _Dean… He knew the risks. I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't take no for an answer._ "

"Lucifer," Sam hissed, and the archangel grinned.

"In the flesh!"

Horror flashed over Sam's face as Lucifer pushed his hand in to touch Sam's soul. Lucifer felt the raw power of a human soul course through his entire being, and savored the moment until suddenly he felt something pushing back at him.

He withdrew his hand and released Sam, watching him fall to the ground before he looked down at his hand.

"Hello, Amriel," he said with a strained look on his face as he tried to fight against the angel that was trying to gain control of his borrowed vessel.

Sam regained consciousness as Amriel fell to the floor beside him, and Sam tried to get away from her quickly.

"No! Leave me alone!" Sam yelped.

"Sam, it-it's me," Amriel stammered as she tried to hold Lucifer back.

"Amriel? Why?" the Winchester asked, staring at her with wide eyes.

"I wanted to help with the fight, and only Lucifer can beat her. I didn't want Castiel to have to do this, so… I said yes," she explained, tears streaking down her face due to the sheer agony it took to keep Lucifer at bay.

"You chose this? You have to fight, Elle!" Sam told her. "Eject him now!"

"I can't," she explained, "It's taking all of my strength to keep him from killing you. And besides, we need him!"

"No Amriel, we don't. We'll find another way to stop Amara," Sam pleaded with her.

Amriel shook her head, saying that they needed him to save Dean.

"You can't time travel," Sam stated rather than asked, and she shook her head again.

"Only Lucifer can," she said sadly, a pained look suddenly crossing her face, "Tell Cas… Tell him-"

Amriel's eyes darkened and Sam knew that she was gone and Lucifer was back in control. Lucifer disappeared and returned with Dean, who had the Hand of God with him.

"Dean, that's not Amriel!" Sam told his brother, who stared back at him before turning to look at Lucifer.

A faux-apologetic look crossed his face as he said, "Cat's out!"

Lucifer threw Dean across the table and watched as he landed on the floor on the other side of the table against the wall.

"I feel a burden lifted. You know, this whole,  _deep cover_  thing… It wasn't terribly well thought out. Donning this… This Amriel mask? This effervescent face of angelic hope? It just.. Ugh! And then, teaming up with you two. I mean, I thought you boys were insufferable as mortal enemies, but  _working_  with you? That's the soul crusher! And don't even get me  _started_  on how needy and hopelessly in love Castiel is," Lucifer complained, shivering in disgust.

Dean tried to stand, but Lucifer threw out his hand and pinned him to the wall.

"Why the faces boys? You should be cheering. We have a common enemy, and with this," he said as he held up the Hand of God, still wrapped in cloth. "She will be no problem. I mean, I will have killed you both and the idiot that is Castiel by then, but still. Come on."

Lucifer unwrapped the Hand of God and touched it, holding onto it as Dean yelled for him to stop. With closed eyes, Lucifer waited for the effects of the power to come. But when nothing happened, he frowned.

"It's kicked!" he hissed, tossing it onto the table.

"Well, who'd've thought the Hand of God would turn out to be a one-hitter?" Dean said with his eyebrows raised, and Lucifer turned on his heel and stormed over to the older Winchester that was still pinned to the wall. Before he could do anything, Sam slammed his hand down onto an angel-banishing sigil, and Lucifer disappeared.

* * *

Castiel was still in New Mexico watching  _Dexter_. He had been planning to go and help the Winchesters, but he still had a few more episodes to watch in the season and he figured there wouldn't be any harm in him staying a few extra hours, despite his concern for his wife's wellbeing.

He thought about that for a few moments, a frown crossing his face as he did so. Was he really putting a television show above his wife? Cas heaved a sigh and sat up, pulling his shoes on and tying the laces.

When he looked up, Amriel was standing before him, wearing a white t-shirt and shorts, a look on her face that he had never seen before.

"Amriel?" he asked, confusion coursing through him. "H-how did you get in here?"

"Nevermind that, Cas… I just needed to see you," she said, before a giant grin crossed her face. "I need  _her_  to see the look on your face when I tell you before the Winchesters can."

"What.. What's going on?" Cas asked again, and his phone started to ring.

"Ooh, this will be even better. I bet it's Dean calling. Go ahead, answer it," she told him, nodding towards the phone that was on the bedside table.

Castiel picked up the phone and answered it with a confused hello, only to hear Dean's frantic voice on the other end of the line.

" _Cas- Lucifer is_ possessing  _Amriel! If you see her,_ run _! It's Lucifer in control,_ not  _Amriel,"_ Dean told him, and Cas almost dropped the device.

"I have to go, Dean," he said, hanging up without waiting for a response.

He stared up at the body of the angel he loved, realizing it was just that. A  _body_ , and not  _Amriel_.

"You know, Castiel," Lucifer said using Amriel's voice, contorting  _her_  face into a smirk Cas had never seen before. "She did this for you. To  _save_  you because you wouldn't be strong enough to handle it yourself. But here you are, binge watching  _Dexter_  when you should be doing something. Some husband you are."

Cas had to remind himself that this wasn't Amriel talking - this was  _Lucifer_. How had he not known when he had first possessed her? It had been weeks. He had fooled them all for  _weeks_ , and that made Castiel feel sick to his stomach.

"She misses you, in case you're wondering. But she knows it was for the best," he continued to goad the angel in the trench coat, watching him carefully. "It's kinda sickening, how much she loves you. It's a shame you obviously don't feel the same."

"Don't you dare presume to know how I feel about Amriel," Cas seethed, straightening his posture so he stood a little taller, towering over the 5'6" vessel Lucifer was occupying.

"Then how was it so easy to fool you?  _Oh Castiel, I love you more than all of creation, but you can't tell when Lucifer himself is possessing me,_ " he mocked, using her tone and speech pattern perfectly. "I'm quite the actor. I think I deserve an Academy Award, honestly."

"You're sick, Lucifer," Cas said, shaking his head. "Give her back... Take me instead. I'm sure my vessel is stronger than a mere girl."

Lucifer looked like he was contemplating the idea, but then he laughed and rolled his eyes, Amriel's eyes, at the younger angel.

"I quite like this vessel, to be honest. Being a young, attractive, blonde woman certainly has its  _perks_." He sent Castiel a wink. "I can get a lot more done in this than I  _ever_ could in yours."

Cas felt bile rising in his throat as he thought about Lucifer using Amriel's body to his advantage. Everything that was happening made him furious, but he had no idea where to focus his rage. If he tried to fight Lucifer, he risked hurting Amriel.

"You know, you were really onto something before your little wife let me inside her… You two could have had the Heavenly host eating out of the palms of your hands, just like dear old Dad intended." Lucifer told Cas, "You were  _this close_  to reaching your true potential. Sorry I had to ruin the fun and take over Amriel's perky little body."

"Shut up," Castiel growled, "I  _will_  get you out of her vessel."

"I'd like to see you try," Lucifer grinned back. "She's gorgeous, isn't she? But of course you know that. I can see it in your eyes. The love, the devotion... The  _lust_. Kinda sorry I had to turn down all of your advances... From what I've gathered you're quite the time in bed."

"Just stop talking," Cas tried again, but Lucifer only kept going.

"You know what she asked me before she said yes and let me inside her?" Lucifer paused, leaning in before continuing, "She asked if you'd be safe. Of course, I said yes, but I'm surprised it's actually worked out. I really wasn't even trying."

"I'm gonna get rid of you if it's the last thing I do," Cas told him, squaring his shoulders and rushing forward, only to be thrown back by an unseen force.

"You seem to forget, Castiel, I still have my powers. I wasn't affected by the Fall," Lucifer said from right beside him. "She's trying  _so hard_  to fight me so she can say something to you. Too bad she wasted all her strength to tell Sam that she said yes to me to keep you from doing it. Maybe she thought you were too weak?"

"Amriel would do anything for me, even if it meant sacrificing herself. She knew I would save her, and I will!" Cas growled, and Lucifer rolled his eyes.

"I'm gonna let you say goodbye to her, seeing as you two are hubby and wife. Make it count," Lucifer said to the angel and before Cas knew it, Amriel was in control.

"C-Cas?" she asked, looking around in confusion before finally settling her gaze on him. "Please, don't be mad! I had to do it. Amara told me I had to stop you from doing something stupid."

"And so  _you_  did something stupid instead?" Cas asked, setting his hand on her cheek and brushing her soft skin with his thumb. "I  _will_  do everything in my power to get Lucifer out of your vessel. I promise you, Elle."

"I know you will. He… He's doing something in Hell. He has Crowley on a very short leash, and I mean that literally. He keeps me in a memory of the bunker, but I still get bits and pieces of what he's up to when I have the energy," she told him quickly. "Tell Sam and Dean that I'm sorry."

Cas went to say something, but Amriel surged forward and connected her lips with his for a long, emotion-filled kiss, trying to tell him just how much she loved him without actually saying it.

She pulled away and whispered that she would see him soon, before her posture completely changed and Cas knew that Lucifer was back in control.

"Ugh, I definitely told her not to kiss you before I let her take the reins. Looks like someone's gonna have nothing but infomercials to watch for the next two weeks," Lucifer laughed to himself, ignoring Castiel as he watched in horror. "Well, it's been fun, but I have things to do, ancient beings to kill. You know how it is."

Before Castiel could even think to say something in return, Lucifer was gone.


End file.
